His eyes suddenly went a little dark as he stared into hers, and he pressed his hard body against hers, lighting every inch of Lila’s body on fire.
“You’re not the first girl who’s cussed me out either.”
“I’m sorry,” Lila said, chiding herself when she remembered the ugly words she’d spat at Sonny today. “I just—”
“Don’t apologize,” he said before she could finish. “Don’t ever apologize for not holding your feelings back. I’m not mad about that. I understand why you’d react the way you did.” He smirked, gazing into her eyes with that same heat she’d only seen when she knew he was aroused. “And you’re hot as hell even when you’re pissed and telling me to go fuck myself.”
Lila winced at that, but he hugged her even tighter—rougher. “What does piss me off is that, even for a second, you’d believe I think you’re a hood rat or that I’m just trying to bag you.”
She stared into his now menacing eyes, breathing deeply and remembering how hurt she’d been when she really did believe that.
Sonny shook his head, pressing his lips as his expression morphed from disgust to frustration, then took his own deep breath before going on. “Understand this. I love that you’re different. I love your passion, and I’ve already accepted that my spunky-ass girlfriend has a wicked temper that’s gonna keep me on my toes. But I will not tolerate anyone putting you down, including yourself. So, unless you want me spanking that sweet ass of yours, I don’t ever wanna hear you do that again. The only reason I kept our outings to parks and places people wouldn’t see us was to avoid being mobbed and you finding out who I was before I’d planned on telling you. But I guarantee you, when you agree to take me back, not if because I won’t give up until you do, the whole world will know who my girl is. And just like you with your sister, I won’t be letting anyone fuck with you in any way—physically or verbally. So, don’t ever think for a second that I’d be ashamed of you.” He leaned in and licked her bottom lip before nipping at it until she gasped in both pain and arousal. “How could I ever be ashamed of my beautiful badass?”
Normally, Lila’s cynical ass would be wracking her brain to come up with reasons not to believe him, for excuses to continue to push him away. It’d be for her own good because, despite all his mesmerizing words, she was still skeptical. Only it wasn’t him that she didn’t trust. She still didn’t trust that she wouldn’t fuck this up royally.
“I don’t think I’m ready for all this, S—” She caught herself before calling him Sonny then thought better of it because she’d never call him anything but “Sonny.”
“What’s there to be ready for?” he asked, searching her eyes, as panic filled his eyes.
Lila thought of how tempted she’d been today to jump out of the ring and claw Tatiana’s eyes out. Each time she’d seen the whore paw at Sonny, it’d been a struggle not to stop, spit her mouthpiece out, and scream, “Get your fucking hands off him!”
If her feelings of entitlement had been off the charts then, before she’d ever heard him call her his girlfriend, his beautiful badass, his, which only meant one thing—he was saying he was hers—how in the world could she trust herself not to explode if she ever saw something like that again?
“I don’t trust myself,” she whispered, glancing away from his eyes.
“So, trust me.” He lifted her chin, forcing eye contact.
His eyes were warm but at the same time full of determination. “I promise never to put you in a situation like today again, Lila.” He leaned in and kissed her softly then spoke again, staring seriously into her eyes. “It’s not just you. Feeling anger over something like that is normal. Trust me. If the tables had been turned, things would’ve gotten a lot uglier than me just telling you off.”
Lila found that hard to believe, but she was glad she hadn’t had to explain what she meant by saying she didn’t trust herself. He’d known exactly what she meant. In spite of the unease she was still feeling about this whole thing, the enormous relief outweighed it. There wasn’t even a full smile on her face, and Sonny was already wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her neck with a groan.
He kissed then sucked her neck, igniting the now familiar ache between her legs instantly; then he pulled away. “So, now that I’m forgiven and all is well, how ’bout that trip to Los Feliz we were supposed to take today?”
“But—” She began to protest when his lips crashed onto hers again.
His amazing tongue did things to her she was afraid might have her moaning soon. The moment she could pull away—take a breath—she licked her lips, breathlessly staring into his beautifully intense eyes. “I still have a million questions, Sonny.”
“You can ask me anything you want on the way to my house. I had everything planned until . . .” He shook his head with a frown as he tugged her along toward the door.
“Wait. I need my purse and to tell Ali where I’m going.”
Sonny let her hand loose, and she rushed to the bedroom, her heart beating erratically. Her mind was all over the place. Was this a mistake? Had she forgiven him too easily? Were they moving too fast? Should she be feeling everything she was feeling for him so soon? Yet, at the same time, in the middle of terrifying uncertainty, a part of her wanted to screech like a school girl full of excitement, just another thing she’d never done nor had even the slightest inclination of doing before she met him. Even Ali said she believed his sincerity.
Ali sat up on her bed where she’d been lying studying, the moment Lila walked in the room. “So?”
Lila couldn’t even begin to try and hide the giddy smile already plastered on her face. This day had gone from one of the worst in her life to one of the most nerve-wracking. Wishing she could just enjoy this more as she should be, she placed her hand on her belly to try and placate the enormous knot in there. She was only glad now she’d taken such a long shower when she got home today to try and calm herself.
“I think everything is okay now, but I still have so many questions.”
“Well, ask them,” Ali said with an excited smile. “I did.”
“You did?” Lila asked, grabbing her purse on the dresser.
Once again, it was a reminder of just how unglamorous she was compared to all those women she’d seen photographed with Sonny. Her purse was more of a backpack than a purse. Although the lady at the second-hand store where she’d purchased it called it a backpack satchel, so technically it was a purse. All Lila cared about at the time was that it was something she wouldn’t accidently forget on the bus.
Swinging the satchel over her shoulder, she turned to face Ali, who was already telling her about some of the questions she’d asked Sonny. Of course, her sister had covered one of the burning questions Lila had for Sonny, about that Mona girl he was holding hands with in New York just a few weeks ago.
Though his answer to the question had been anything but satisfactory, even to Ali. It was cold? Really? That was his excuse? It was the kind of bullshit Lila would have no patience for and even less intention of dealing with. These were the things they’d be discussing today before she made the final decision on whether she was moving forward with this insane situation.
Ali let her in on a few of the other things she’d quizzed Sonny about before Lila finally started toward the bedroom door, until she remembered something and turned back. “You’re not going anywhere today, right?”
“No, I have to cram for a test this week.”
“Good. Check with me if by chance you leave for any reason. I’ll be home early. I have work early in the morning, and I need to talk to you.”
Ali stared at her curiously then glanced at the door and smiled. “Right. I have lots of questions too. So, I’ll be waiting.”
There was more than just Sonny she needed to talk to Ali about, but she wouldn’t get into it now. Finally, she got out of there and met Sonny in the front room. A couple of the kids downstairs recognized him and stopped them so they could take a photo. Sonny obliged wh
ile Lila stood and watched, trying to make sense of how surreal her life suddenly felt.
Watching him kneel and take a few photos with some of his much younger and clearly awestruck fans only made this more real. It’d be a while before it fully registered that Sonny was a celebrity. After seeing all the recent and ongoing headlines about his signing with the Dodgers, she felt so completely ignorant. How could she not have heard about it? Her head was obviously buried when it came to sports stuff, which was so stupid, considering she might soon be a sports figure herself. Not that she thought for a moment she’d be anywhere as big as Sonny was.
Once done with the photos and because they were beginning to draw a crowd, Sonny and Lila made a quick exit. “That’s probably the biggest thing you’ll have to get used to,” Sonny said as he waved at the small crowd standing on the sidewalk, watching and still taking photos of his car as they drove away. “And I don’t mean just because of me.” He turned to her. “Something tells me you, too, will be making headlines soon. So why didn’t you tell me about your boxing? You’re being such a badass makes total sense now. Of course you’d be.”
Lila shook her head, glancing out the window even as he laced his fingers into hers. “You heard Noah,” she reminded him. “I’ve only been in the ring a few times. I’ve never fought professionally. For the longest time, I refused to even consider it.”
“Why? You’re so good.”
Lila shrugged, not sure if she was ready to share this with him yet. “Personal reasons.”
“Lila.” He squeezed her hand. “You don’t have to tell me now, but I’d eventually like to know everything about you and for you to know everything about me. I don’t like the thought of keeping even our most intimate secrets from one another.”
There was no way Lila could refrain from scoffing at that. Sonny turned to her and gave her a remorseful look. “Alright, I deserved that, but I mean from here on. So, when you’re ready, I’d love it if you shared.”
Lila glanced at him, her insides fluttering as they’d only ever done for him. His eyes were on the road again but then glanced in her direction. The intense expression softened immediately when their eyes met.
She squeezed his hand, and despite her reservations about all this still, she took a deep breath, ready to share. “My mom was an amateur boxer who, like me, was told she had great potential. My grandpa was a boxer back in his heyday. Even boxed professionally for a while there, and it’s probably where my mom and I got our natural talent. But my grandpa ended up with all these medical issues that I’m certain had to do with his days of constantly getting punched in the head. No one ever said it, but I’m positive the stroke he had that left his face partially paralyzed had to do with all the beatings he’d taken over the years.”
Sonny turned to her when she paused. “Did your mom have any medical issues because of it?”
Lila laughed humorlessly. “Yeah, boxing took her life.”
She stared out the window, remembering and then contemplating on the ironic fact that Sonny had brought out yet another first for her. She’d never once discussed her feelings about this with anyone, not even any of her therapists and many counselors who tried in vain to get her to open up about it.
“She’d been warned it was dangerous to get back in the ring after the second concussion. But she did anyway. After her third one, the doctor refused to sign off on allowing her back in the ring. Only the guys at the gym she fought at didn’t give a fuck.”
Lila stopped to take a deep breath, angry that she couldn’t clean up her filthy mouth for more than a few minutes. It’d be a constant reminder of the lower class she’d always be a part of. How different she and her perfect boyfriend were.
“It’s okay to be mad,” Sonny said, kissing her hand. “I’d be pissed too.”
“Yeah, well, she didn’t have to get in the ring again, but I guess it was her dream, and she refused to give it up, even if it meant she was risking leaving us orphaned, which was exactly what happened. Because of my grandpa’s age and medical issues, he was considered unfit to become our legal guardian. With no other family, we were carted off to foster care.”
Lila paused, glancing up when Sonny kissed her hand again. “I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. “Even if he’d been able to fight to get custody of us, we would’ve been right back in foster care that next year when he passed from another massive stroke.”
“And your father?” he asked, sounding cautious.
“The prick left us before Ali was even born. I don’t even remember him, and my mom didn’t tell us too much about him, but I remember overhearing her once on the phone, years after Ali was born. I was still very young.” Lila chuckled and again felt zero humor in it. “I remember it clearly because it totally confused me. She told whoever she was talking to that when my dad found out she was pregnant again he told her not to have the baby and she refused. So, he left. I kept thinking how could she not have it? Could you just choose to never let it out of your belly?”
Sonny turned to her with a sympathetic smile. Lila tried smiling, but it was weak at best.
They came to a stop, and Sonny leaned over and kissed her softly. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered before pulling away. “I just had to say that. Carry on.”
Lila smiled again despite the mood her story had put her in, but she was ready to move on to the subject of him and all his female friends. Only she’d do her best to stay cool—remain civil in spite of herself. This was her chance to prove to her doubtful heart that she could handle a relationship of this magnitude without blowing it.
Chapter 14
Sonny
There was no way she could know this, but with every new thing Sonny learned about Lila, he fell even harder for her. Even her outburst today at the gym had garnered her more respect. She had a roomful of superstar athletes, some of which were her bosses, and she didn’t hold back for the sake of appearances. Most women would’ve sucked it up—refused to make a scene—and worried about looking bad.
Not Lila.
She wasn’t holding in shit for anyone or anything, and he’d meant every word of it when he said he fucking loved that about her. He loved that she was so different. It was exactly why he was so curious about something now and he had to ask.
“So, what made you change your mind about fighting?”
“A few things,” she said with a frown. “Gio pointed out that if I was good enough, which he’s confident I am, that I’ll likely almost never get hit in the head, at least not hard or often enough to cause any serious damage. But also, I need the extra money. My other roommate is moving out, and that means I’ll have to come up with the extra third of the rent she was paying. Unless I can find another roommate I can trust to live with me and Ali, I need more money coming in. And you know me. I trust no one.”
Sonny chuckled, even if hearing her say she needed more cash had him tempted to offer to move her into a safer neighborhood where he’d pay all her expenses. Already he felt completely compelled to take her and Ali in under his wing, tell her she didn’t need to fight another day in her life if she didn’t want to and he’d take care of their every need. Only one thing kept him from putting it out there. He’d already known she would adamantly refuse the offer. This soon anyway. But he’d definitely be working on it later. For now, he’d just put it out there so she’d know it was eventually coming.
“You do realize that, when things move forward with us and this relationship gets even more serious, you won’t need to fight or even work for that matter. I’d love nothing more than to take care of you, and I, of course, understand you and Ali are a package deal. She’d be more than welcome.”
Not surprising, Lila had already started shaking her head even before he finished. “I fought tooth and nail to be able to take Ali with me when I was eighteen and out of the system. My goal the moment I got her was to get a job and move us out of the assisted-living facility they put me up in until I could get on my feet. When I was finally ab
le to, I vowed never to get myself in a position where I’d have to count on anyone for anything. As generous and amazing as it is for you to even be thinking this way so soon . . .” This time she squeezed his hand back and smiled sweetly. “And it is very generous and beyond sweet of you. I just can’t do that, Sonny. I refuse to count on anyone ever again.”
Although this didn’t sit well with Sonny because he had every intention of taking her and Ali out of those projects and getting them settled in somewhere safer, he couldn’t help but smile. Sonny brought her hand to his mouth again. He kissed it several times before turning to her.
“Don’t ever ask me why you again, because this is just one of the many reasons.”
Instead of smiling as he expected her to, the sweet smile she’d already worn slowly went flat. “Okay, but I do have other questions.”
“Ask away.” He tried not to sound as nervous as this made him.
Lila (Boyle Heights #1) Page 17
