Fabian carefully hoisted himself into the motel room.
‘Told you he would come!’ said Emma pointedly to Michael, before Fabian’s feet even landed on the carpet inside.
‘You didn’t think I would?’ he asked Michael, who shook his head, looking at the ground. He can’t even meet my eye, thought Fabian.
It was an awkward scene. Emma and Tessie sat on the two chairs, on either side of the tiny circular table; neither looked comfortable. In contrast, Sam lounged on the bed, smiling at everyone. Michael leaned against the television cabinet, arms crossed. Fabian stayed where he was, sitting in the window frame. He could not believe he was in the same room as Michael after what happened yesterday.
Uncomfortable silence stretched over the room. No one looked at each other. Fabian really wanted not to be there. He should have just stayed at home, in bed, watching Heat. He would even prefer to be at work at the video store instead, watching some other old gangster movies, maybe even re-watching The Godfather series for the hundredth time. But he wasn’t at work, he was here, and there was a reason for that. Fabian took a deep breath. He should show them why he had come. The thing he had found that had changed his mind at the last minute. It felt hot in his back pocket. But Sam spoke up first.
‘Listen,’ Sam said, ‘I really wish you guys would give this a chance. I think you’re all awesome!’
‘Really?’ asked Emma. ‘But you don’t even know us.’
‘Yes, I do. I know this sounds silly, but these last few months I’ve started to think of you all as a family.’
Fabian noticed how Sam didn’t blush; how he didn’t look down as he said it. He steadily looked at each of them in the eyes. Like he knew that they felt it too. Well, Fabian had at least. There was something about Sam that Fabian felt drawn to, apart from the fact that he was great-looking.
‘What’s your story anyway?’ asked Michael.
‘Michael!’ snapped Emma, but Sam waved her off.
‘I’ve lived in Mount Cobalt my whole life, around Lobston mostly, so only half an hour away. I didn’t want to miss the chance of meeting you guys, and I was sick of living at home, so I came up here.’
‘Where do you sleep?’ Michael pushed.
‘Just camping at the moment.’
‘That’s awful,’ murmured Emma.
‘Not really. I like being out in nature.’
It sounded lonely to Fabian. He tried to imagine life without his parents and two big sisters. He couldn’t. His house was always loud, people yelling and playing music and cooking and arguing. The silence of camping out at night sounded suffocating.
‘Anyway,’ said Sam, ‘what I really want to hear about is this thing with your dad, Michael. What happened?’
Michael shifted uncomfortably now that all the eyes were on him.
‘Um, well, it was late last night. I heard my dad on the phone. He was saying how it couldn’t be a coincidence that we were all together at Mercy Point yesterday. He said Lia saw us. He said, “They must know something.”’
‘Lia is my mum,’ said Tessie. ‘She wasn’t acting like anything was wrong last night.’
‘Well, that’s what he said!’
Tessie just rolled her eyes in response, although Fabian noticed that she too looked nervous. She was sitting on the very edge of her chair, as though she was ready at any moment to spring up and run away, and her hand was on her stomach like she didn’t feel well. He caught her eye and immediately looked away.
‘I heard the phone ring too.’ Emma’s voice was quiet. ‘We never get calls that late, so I thought it was weird, but I didn’t listen in. It wouldn’t make any sense though! My parents aren’t friends with any of your parents!’
‘There’s something else.’ Fabian stood and reached into his back pocket, trying not to wince as his arm bent backwards. He didn’t want to give Michael the satisfaction of seeing him in pain.
‘None of our parents are friends, right?’ he said. He felt them all lean towards him to listen. His voice always came out so quiet when he was in a group, he couldn’t help it. He continued, trying to speak a little louder. ‘Even Michael’s parents and mine don’t say hi, which is weird since we’ve been neighbours forever.’
He put the photo on the table between Tessie and Emma. Michael and Sam came forward to look at it. He heard a sharp intake of breath, but he wasn’t sure whose it was.
It was an old photo. The picture was grainy, but the colours were still vibrant. It must have been pretty well preserved in the bottom of that box. It was their parents, with big grins and big hair, denimed arms thrown around each other. They looked casual, happy and comfortable. Emma’s mum was touching shoulders with his mother. His dad had a casual arm around Michael’s dad. Next to Emma’s mum was a man he didn’t recognise, with sandy hair and an open, kind face. Beside him was Tessie’s mum, her grin huge and real. They had been more than just acquaintances. This made them look like a group, a gang; like best friends.
‘Whoa,’ said Tessie, ‘this makes no sense.’ She leaned away from the picture, as though she couldn’t bear to look at it anymore.
‘That’s Damon. My dad,’ Emma said, pointing to the man Fabian hadn’t recognised. ‘He died in the cave-in.’
No one said anything; everyone in town had a relative who had died in the cave-in. For Fabian, it was his cousin.
‘Maybe it was just a one-off thing,’ Emma continued. ‘It doesn’t prove they were actually friends.’
‘Then why hide it?’ Fabian asked eventually.
‘I know, I know,’ said Emma.
The picture proved everything. They all knew it.
‘I think Tess is right. This makes absolutely no sense,’ said Michael.
They all looked so lost. Even Sam had stopped smiling.
‘Okay,’ said Fabian, looking around, ‘so this is what we know. We’re adopted. We’re all sure, right?’
Everyone nodded.
‘We know our parents were friends when it happened and we know they’re lying to us now. Which makes it seem like something more went on than just a standard adoption.’
They all nodded again.
‘Maybe we should just ask them?’ Emma suggested.
‘You know, that’s a great idea,’ said Michael.
‘Really?’
‘Yeah! I mean, they’ve made such a big effort to lie to us this whole time. I’m sure they’d only do that if they were just gagging to tell us the truth and all we have to do is ask politely.’
‘Well, I don’t know about your parents, Michael,’ Emma’s face was red, ‘but mine are different!’
‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ his eyes were flashing, ‘did your parents tell you something different from all these lies? Well?’
‘Stop it, man,’ said Sam.
‘Why do you have to be such a fascist, Michael?’
‘Why do you have to use words you don’t even understand?’
‘Shut up! I know exactly what fascist means, and believe me I could use much worse words to describe you.’
‘Yeah? Like what?’
‘I have too much class to say them out loud.’
Michael snorted. There was silence in the room again. Fabian considered climbing back out the window; he was sick of all of this. Finally Tessie spoke.
‘Okay, so the way I see it we’ve got two options. We either forget about this and never talk again.’ She looked pointedly at Michael, but he said nothing. ‘Or we team up and try to figure out what the hell is going on here.’
‘Count me in!’ Sam grinned at her. Tessie looked away.
Emma shook her head. ‘I just can’t see how this could work.’
‘Yeah.’ Tessie stood, and Fabian could tell she wanted them to leave. ‘It’s like a bad joke.’
They were so right, it wasn’t even a question.
‘Sorry, Sam.’ Fabian tried to catch Sam’s eye, but he was staring at the carpet. It was awful how disappointed he looked.
‘So, you guys are all in
the forget-about-it-and-never-talk-to-each-other-again category?’ Michael asked.
‘Absolutely,’ Emma snapped, ‘so if you could try to uphold it, I think I’d be about the happiest person on earth.’
‘Fine. I don’t want to hang out with you losers anyway.’ Michael turned away and walked straight out the door.
Fabian looked around at them. ‘I guess I’ll see you at school,’ he said and made his way out of the window to begin his slow and painful walk back home.
CHAPTER 7
EMMA
Thank God it was a Sunday. That was all Emma could think.
She was staffing the front counter at her parents’ tours kiosk. It was what she always did on a Sunday since they’d started the business together. People only showed up every half-hour or so, and usually they just took a leaflet and left. Ridha thought it was a good way to get Emma to do her homework at the same time as earning some pocket money. Emma was starting to get a bit sick of listening to what her mums thought she should do. All of the pain she was feeling could have been prevented if they’d just been honest with her right from the beginning. All this lying was so unnecessary. Why did they think she couldn’t handle the simple truth? If they hadn’t lied to her, she would never have gone on that stupid message board.
The only positive thing she could think of was that it was Sunday, and she didn’t have to see the others. Tomorrow at school was going to be the absolute worst.
Groaning in frustration, she tried again to focus on what was in front of her. All morning, she’d found that she’d been staring at her textbook for a whole ten minutes and realise she hadn’t read a word. The Smashing Pumpkins were playing softly from the computer. Emma loved the Smashing Pumpkins as much as Nirvana, maybe even more than Tame Impala. Her parents made fun of her for listening to it.
‘They broke up before you were even born!’ her mum would say.
She kept trying to tell them that the band was actually back together now, but they never listened. They just didn’t get it. She liked them because they were from a different time. When music actually meant something and people cared about stuff. When they weren’t afraid to be angry and admit how messed up the world was. If she could have lived in a different era, she’d pick the 90s. Or actually, maybe the 70s. That’s when things were really changing, although she didn’t really like the music from the 70s as much. Turning the volume up a bit, she tried to get lost in the melody, but even Billy Corgan couldn’t make her feel better right now. How could anything make her feel better when her heart had been ripped out and then trampled on? She knew she was being dramatic, but that was how it had felt. What had happened when they’d first met had made her feel sick. Michael Brighton. Tessie. Fabian. It was a literal nightmare. Then, even worse, was the meeting yesterday. She should never have gone. She was smart enough to know it was going to be a bad idea. What outcome was she actually hoping for? That somehow, they’d put their differences aside and decide to be best buddies? Yeah right. Sometimes, she felt angry with the others. It was like they had tricked her. Other times, she felt angry with herself for being so gullible. On top of all that, she kept thinking about Sam. She’d never met anyone like him, and he’d looked so upset when they’d all proclaimed they didn’t want to find the truth. If it was just him, she totally would have stayed, but with him came the others, and that just wasn’t going to work. She wondered about him though. He was such a mystery. There was something magnetic about him, something more than just that he was incredibly good-looking. Although that just made it more frustrating. She’d never been so confused.
Ridha came in to meet the 12.30 pm tour and Emma turned down the music.
‘How’s your homework going?’
‘It’s okay. How was abseiling?’
‘You know, sometimes I wish I was doing your mum’s seniors walking class in the morning. I feel like a senior right now, I’d fit right in.’ She stretched backwards until she was basically in the shape of a lowercase ‘n’. Emma didn’t think any of the seniors could do that.
‘I hope some people rock up for this next one,’ Ridha continued, looking around. ‘Remember last weekend it was only two people? It was barely worth it. I’ve emailed the PR company and they say they’re fulfilling their end in terms of marketing, but I don’t think that’s right. I should probably call them again.’
Emma suddenly wished she could turn off her hearing aids. She felt too tired to be part of the world right now.
‘Okay, Emma,’ Ridha was looking at her closely now, ‘what’s wrong?’
‘What? Nothing!’
‘I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but you are not a quiet girl. Something’s bothering you, I can tell. Spit it out.’
‘First off, I can be quiet sometimes! I don’t always have to be talking. Secondly, I’m totally fine. I’m just trying to work out this maths homework, thanks very much.’
‘Okay,’ Ridha said, hardly listening to her response. Instead, she was looking towards a group of tourists approaching in hiking gear.
‘Tessie’s mum came in here before,’ Emma said, just to see what would happen.
Ridha’s face went blank, too blank, like she was mentally trying to keep any emotion from showing. There it was, all the proof she needed.
‘Really?’ she said. ‘What did she want?’
‘Maybe she was just coming to say hi. Do you guys know each other?’
‘Lia? No, not at all. We went to school together, but weren’t ever friends.’ That same forced blankness was still on Ridha’s face. It was the first time she’d seemed one hundred per cent focused on Emma in months.
‘Is that what she said?’ Ridha asked. ‘That she wanted to talk to me?’
‘Actually,’ Emma said, ‘I think she just wanted some leaflets, for her guests at the motel. She said something like that.’
‘Oh okay.’ The relief was clear, no matter how hard Ridha tried to cover it. She turned around to wave at the tourists.
‘Wait.’ Emma touched Ridha’s hand, who looked back at her now. In that moment it was all on the tip of her tongue, how she felt so betrayed by their lies, how all this confusion was starting to make her feel like she was going crazy. But she lost her nerve.
‘I’m actually feeling a bit sick. There’s this flu going around and I think I have it.’
‘Oh no, a headache or sick in the stomach?’ Ridha asked.
Emma couldn’t look at her; she hated lying. ‘Both.’
‘Why don’t I call a taxi to come pick you up and take you home?’
Emma shook her head. She knew that they couldn’t really afford that.
‘Listen, this will only go for two hours. Do you think you can wait that long? If you feel like a walk, just put up the sign, okay? And call me if you feel worse.’
Emma nodded. ‘It’s fine, you go. I’ll be okay.’
As soon as Ridha was out of view, Emma grabbed her jacket, put the ‘Back in five minutes’ sign in the window and went out into the cold. She walked quickly and without purpose, zipping her jacket right up to her neck. It was good to just be moving, breathing fresh air, doing something. The air felt crisp and light, tickling her hair, making her nose tingle as she breathed. As she walked, she thought of yesterday, when she’d hurried down the street to Tessie’s motel. She’d been nervous, so sure that Michael was lying, so convinced that this was all some sort of elaborate trick. But, even then, something about his urgency made it ring true. Then there was the picture Fabian had shown them. Her mum’s arms around Tessie’s mum, Fabian’s parents. Worst of all, Michael’s dad, the kingpin himself, head of Cameron Mines, was there. Why on earth had her parents ever been friends with a scumbag like that?
She sat down on a bench near the road and stared out at the streams of smoke she could see coming from the mines. Last year, she remembered how she and Rain had talked obsessively of ways to make a splash in the anti-mining effort. They had thought about sneaking into the area at night and spray-painting messages on t
he equipment, but in the end they had realised that they’d potentially be arrested for trying something like that. So instead, they’d made do with putting posters calling for action all around the town, which got ripped down within a few days anyway, so it all turned out to be pointless.
That was the worst bit of all this. No matter what she did, she felt so powerless. Whether it be trying to make a difference in the world, or just trying to find out who she was, it was like banging her head against a wall. Adulthood wasn’t all that far away, and in some ways she couldn’t wait. Then, at least, she’d have some sort of power. Some sort of authority to demand answers, to expect change. But on the flipside, every adult she knew always talked about ‘compromise’. To Emma, ‘compromise’ just sounded like losing your backbone. Like lying down and letting the people with more power, or more money, win. It was like as soon as you were given a voice, everyone became too lazy, or too scared, to actually use it.
‘Emma?’
She looked up. Sam was standing over her. The dim sun was behind his head, making him look like he was glowing in the wintry light.
‘Hi,’ she said, almost awestruck by him.
‘I know you probably want me to go away, but is it okay if I sit down?’
‘Yes!’ she said, then realised how eager she sounded. ‘I mean, if you want.’
He grinned at her, and oh, what a grin. It made her heart flutter a little. She looked away, back at the smoke from the mines as she felt the weight of him sitting down next to her.
‘So,’ he said, ‘yesterday sucked.’
‘That it did,’ she said, and for the first time in forever, she almost could have laughed. ‘It well and truly sucked. Like sucking mould off stinky cheese.’
‘It sucked fluff off old carpet,’ he offered.
She smiled, still not looking at him. ‘It sucked dandruff out of oily hair.’
‘Oh yuck!’ he said.
‘Yeah.’ She was actually laughing now. ‘Too far.’
The silence held for a moment between them, but it didn’t feel hostile. It felt almost comfortable, almost nice.
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