by Lucy Hawkins
“She sounds fun.”
He laughed. Of course Daniel and Taylor would get along. “I need to apologize to you,” he said. “The entire time you’ve been around, I’ve been waiting for you to mess up. You hurt Hank in the past, and I couldn’t forgive you for that even though he had.”
“You were looking out for someone you love. I get that.”
“No, please. Just… hear me out. Yes, I was looking out for Hank. I thought you were just going to use him again, and I didn’t want him to have to go through that again.” He took a deep breath. “But it was more than that, I think. You and Hank have this relationship that goes back years. And I was jealous that he was always taking your side. It wasn’t just that he didn’t listen to me, it’s that he always picked you. At least, that’s how it felt.”
Daniel nodded slowly. “I told Hank, but I feel like it’s important for you to hear it, too. I don’t blame you for being suspicious of me. In your shoes, I would have done the same thing. I messed up, and I feel like I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that. You say Hank always took my side, but there are no sides. Just two people Hank loves. And I think we can both agree we’re on his side, right?”
“Right.”
“So how about we call an end to this… feud or whatever it is. We both want the best for Hank, and the only way he can have that is if we’re okay. Truce?”
He held out his hand and Alex shook it.
“Truce.”
Thirty-One
Hank
Someone was knocking on Hank’s bedroom door. He rolled to face the wall and tried to ignore it, but the raps turned more insistent.
“Go away,” he called. Daniel would just try to make him feel better, and Rhiannon would make poorly-timed jokes.
He’d never been one to wallow. When Daniel had stolen from him and vanished without a trace, he’d allowed himself to be consumed by his emotions for exactly one hour. He’d shouted and slammed doors and cried, and then he’d picked himself up, taken a shower, and looked up the name of a private investigator he could afford.
The same thing had happened when Norma died. He’d taken a bit longer to process his emotions, but after half an afternoon, he’d pulled himself together enough to do what needed to be done.
This, though, this was different. With Daniel and Norma, there was something he could do—some action to take. Assets to freeze, a funeral to plan. There was nothing he could do now. The sun had set sometime since he’d closed the door, and the room was pitch black. He could have turned on a lamp, but really, what was the point?
The banging grew louder. Whoever was doing it had graduated from using their knuckles to the side of their hand.
“I said go away!” he shouted.
“He heard you the first time, but I don’t think he’s going to,” Daniel answered.
Hank’s heart lurched. Daniel wasn’t the one who’d been knocking. And neither was Rhiannon. Had Grant come to rub it in, or maybe—
“Hank, please let me in.” Oh, God. That wasn’t Grant at all. It was Alex.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, hating how unsteady he sounded.
“We need to talk. You got it all wrong. Can you please open the door?”
He hesitated a moment. Alex said he’d gotten it wrong, but what exactly had he meant? Maybe he’d meant he had gotten their relationship all wrong. But he couldn’t know until he talked to Alex, so he swung his legs off the bed and pulled himself up then trudged to the door and unlocked it. It burst open, and he jumped back to keep from being hit.
A moment later, Alex was on him, his arms around Hank’s shoulders, holding him as tightly as he could. Reflexively, he hugged Alex back, resisting the urge to bury his nose in Alex’s neck.
“I thought you weren’t going to open it,” Alex said quietly. As if Hank could ever refuse anything Alex asked of him. “Look, can we please sit down? Daniel explained everything to me. I swear, I could beat the hell out of Grant. I mean… probably not, in all honesty, but I’d try.”
Oh, he’d definitely missed something, all right. “Yeah, come in,” he said.
He walked back over to the bed and sat, while Alex pulled the chair closer. “Daniel said you came by to see me and Grant told you we were back together.” He didn’t continue, so Hank nodded. “That was a lie. He showed up at my house and tried to convince me to take him back, and then he wouldn’t fucking leave.”
Hank sat up straighter. “Did he threaten you? Is he still there?”
They weren’t back together. He’d never been happier to be wrong.
Alex shook his head. “No, he’s gone now. He finally took the hint when I told him I had a boyfriend who treats me better than he ever could.” He looked up at Hank almost shyly. “You do, by the way.”
Hank let out a shaking breath, his chest tight. He wanted to pull Alex close, to hold him and tell him how much he’d missed him over the past few days. But they needed to work through a few things first.
“You left,” he said, looking down at his hands. “Even though you were wrong. Even though you apologized. You walked away. Why?”
Alex sighed. “I was scared, and I wasn’t thinking straight. I’ve never… never had someone who’s as good to me as you’ve been, and I was convinced I’d screwed everything up. So I went home, and I thought if you wanted to see me, you would. Apparently, that was stupid of me. Taylor and Daniel made sure to tell me, although they at least said it a bit nicer. But it was stupid.”
Alex had been waiting for him? He’d been so convinced Alex just needed some time, but in reality, Alex had been giving him the chance to make the first move, and he hadn’t taken it.
“I don’t blame you,” Alex said quickly. “I’m used to guys playing mind games and trying to outwit each other, but you’re not like that. You’re better than that. You say what you mean, and you aren’t pretentious or catty. You don’t go behind other people’s backs. You’re a good guy, Hank Morrison.”
The way Alex spoke made it sound like he didn’t think he was.
“You are too,” Hank assured him. “Yeah, you’re dramatic, and you drive me crazy sometimes, and I hate that you couldn’t just trust me. But I get why you couldn’t.” Reaching out, he took Alex’s hand in his. “I thought a lot about us while you were gone. You have issues trusting people, and I have issues opening up to people. Even my boyfriend.”
“You did open up to me, though,” Alex said.
“Yeah, eventually. But I didn’t listen to your concerns. I was so caught up in defending Daniel that I didn’t stop to think about what it might look like to someone who didn’t have the same history I had with him.” He brushed his thumb over the back of Alex’s hand. “I want to try and do better. With you. Just don’t… Don’t leave again.”
He didn’t even try to hide the desperation in his voice. If Alex left again, he would respect his decision, but there would be no getting over him this time. Alex had burrowed himself so deeply inside every fiber of Hank’s being that there was no way to remove him.
“I won’t. I’m not leaving. I—” His voice cracked, and tears dropped down his cheeks. “You make me feel better about myself than I’ve felt in a really long time. Maybe even ever. You push me to do better, and you’re there for me when I mess up, and I love you so much for that.”
Tightening the grip on Alex’s hand, Hank pulled him up out of the chair and in between his thighs so he could hold him close.
“I love you too,” he whispered. “God, I’ve loved you for so long. I never thought I would be able to say it.”
He kissed Alex softly, the salt from Alex’s tears hitting his tongue. Sure, they still had a way to go before they worked through their problems, but at least they were doing it together instead of apart.
“You belong here,” Hank continued. “You belong with me—at the inn, in our bed, in my arms.”
“Then remind me,” Alex said. “Remind me where I belong.”
They ma
de quick work of their clothes, tugging and twisting and pulling until they were naked and panting, eager for each other. Hank’s hands skimmed up and down Alex’s torso, mapping the smooth planes of his chest, the dip of his navel, the curve of his hip, as though trying to convince himself this was really happening. That Alex had really come back and he hadn’t just imagined it.
Alex had one hand fisted in his hair, the other pressed in the small of Hank’s back. It was a possessive hold, and Hank had never felt safer. Much as Alex wanted Hank to remind him where he belonged, in reality, they were reminding each other. They belonged together. Whether at the inn or in Manhattan or Timbuktu, their lives were intertwined. Once upon a time, that would have terrified Hank. The thought of tying himself to another person wasn’t one he enjoyed. But with Alex, it felt as natural as breathing.
Hank pulled him onto the bed and rolled them on their sides, so they were face to face. No matter how long they were together, he would never believe that this gorgeous, amazing man was his. But he was. Leaning forward, Hank kissed him deeply and surely, tracing inside Alex’s mouth with his tongue. Alex hummed and pressed against him, not even trying to hide his need. Hank could work with that.
He grabbed the lube and a condom from the nightstand and hovered over Alex, taking a minute to appreciate the sight of him laid out for Hank like a feast. And then Alex let out an impatient noise and the spell was broken. Settling in between Alex’s spread thighs, he slicked his fingers and pressed two inside Alex, stroking and curling and twisting his wrist to find just the right angle to reduce Alex to a whimpering mess. A high keening noise told him he’d found it. But rather than indulging Alex even further, he pulled his fingers free after only a few moments.
“Oh my God, please,” Alex groaned. “Felt so good.”
“I know,” Hank said. “But you like my cock in your ass a lot better than my fingers.”
Alex grinned up at him. “You’re definitely right, there.”
Of course he was. Alex was so responsive when Hank was inside of him, his expression like an open book, showing everything he was feeling.
Grabbing the condom wrapper, he tore it open and covered his cock then resumed his place in between Alex’s legs. For all his talk of where Alex belonged, this was where he belonged. He would never take for granted just how much Alex trusted him to be in this position. Cupping the underside of Alex’s thighs, he pushed them back against his chest and lined himself up, pushing inside Alex in one slick slide.
Alex hissed, and Hank paused, his heart beating fast in his ears. “Are you okay? I can stop if you need me to,” he said quickly.
“No,” Alex said. “No, I want to feel it. All of it. Please.”
He nodded and rolled his hips, moving slower than normal to give Alex a chance to adjust. After a moment, the crease between Alex’s eyebrows smoothed, and he arched up against Hank, encouraging him.
Hank was happy to oblige. Pumping his hips, he set a steady rhythm. Not too much for Alex to take, but not slow enough to be teasing. Alex’s fingers dug into his ass. He’d have bruises the next day, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Alex was back in his life. In his bed. He pressed a bruising kiss to Alex’s lips, drawing a moan from him that sent a shiver down Hank’s spine. He really wasn’t going to last much longer.
Alex wrapped his legs around Hank’s thighs, keeping him close, and Hank groaned at the deeper angle. Fuck, it was so good. Alex was so tight around him, drawing him in as though welcoming him home. Home. Hank had gone from place to place looking for somewhere to call home. He hadn’t found it with his parents or in Florida, or even fully at the inn, although it had certainly come the closest. But now he understood. Home wasn’t a place for him. It was a person. It was Alex.
His hips stuttered as he felt his orgasm built. He didn’t even try to hold back. “Touch yourself,” he whispered. “I want to see you come.”
Wrapping a hand around his cock, Alex stroked quickly and purposefully. His gaze was unfocused, and his mouth was slack with pleasure as he pumped, his breath coming in harsh pants. He was the most beautiful thing Hank had ever seen.
He thrust faster, sweat beading across his forehead. Close. So fucking close. And then something inside Hank snapped and he came hard, burying himself to the hilt inside Alex. His body kept moving of its own accord, working him through the orgasm, and by the time he came down, Alex had come as well. His face was red, and blotches of color were starting to bloom across his chest.
Slowly, Hank withdrew and dropped the condom in the trash before curling on his side and pulling Alex with him.
“Do you know where you belong now?” he asked.
Alex nodded. “With you. Always with you.”
Alex
One Year Later
The sand was warm underneath Alex’s feet and filled the space between his toes. To his left, wave after wave of crystal clear water broke against the shore before pulling back out to sea revealing the seashells underneath the water. It seemed impossible that such a stunning place could be real. He’d thought surely the photos online had to be Photoshopped, but now that he was here, he wasn’t so sure.
A squeeze of his hand pulled his attention back to the right where Hank walked beside him. His shirt was mostly unbuttoned revealing a large expanse of sun-kissed skin that Alex wanted to taste. He would get that chance later in their own private suite.
When Hank had announced he’d booked a vacation for the two of them during their busiest season, he’d nearly send Alex into a full-blown panic. They had the inn to run, and Alex had no fewer than three weddings to plan. But Daniel had stepped up and offered to run the inn in Hank’s stead, and everyone had pretty much strong-armed Alex into accepting the fact that he could afford to take a week off. It wasn’t like they had any weddings to host, and even if they did, the extra staff Hank and Alex had hired over the last year would be able to take care of everything with Rhiannon at the helm. She’d been a surprisingly quick study when it came to event planning.
“I was thinking tomorrow we could go snorkeling,” Alex said. “Nonsuch Bay’s got an amazing reef system. I saw pictures online.”
“That sounds like fun,” Hank said with a nod. “You’re not going to freak out if any fish try to touch you though, are you?”
“No,” Alex retorted. His nose twitched at the thought of a scaly fish sliding up against his leg. “Maybe.”
Hank’s lips twitched as though he were trying to hide a smile. “Then I guess I’ll just have to keep them away from you. Although I’d say they’re going to be more afraid of us than we are of them.”
Alex rolled his eyes. “People say the same thing about spiders, but it doesn’t change the fact that spiders are terrifying.”
“Oh, like that one I found in the bathroom this morning?”
“You what?” Oh God, he was going to have to get a mosquito net just to keep out all the bugs. Unless one got under the mosquito net. And then it would be on him and he’d be all tangled up in the net and—
“Kidding,” Hank said quickly. “Sorry. Didn’t think you’d panic that much.”
He scoffed, trying to brush it off. “I wasn’t panicking. I was fine. Just surprised, that’s all.”
“You looked like a spooked horse.”
“You know, it’s not nice to call your boyfriend’s bluff.”
Hank just laughed and pulled him close for a kiss.
A wave crashed against the shore, the water creeping up to tug at the sand near Alex’s feet. He turned and walked down toward the ocean, bending to examine the shells left behind. Most of them were broken pieces of clam shells, though a few remained whole. A white, spindly looking shell stuck halfway out of the sand, and Alex reached down to pick it up. It would go perfectly in Lexi’s nursery, which Hazel was in the process of redecorating. So far, it had been princess, jungle, and Disney themed. Now, Hazel had settled on ‘calming beach.’
He still couldn’t get over how perfect she was or that Hazel had named
her after him. It was one thing naming him godfather. That had been part of their agreement since they were kids. But actually naming her after Alex had been a surprise.
Pocketing the shell, he stood back up and turned to see Hank smiling at him as though he’d done something precious. “What?” he asked.
“I can’t smile at my boyfriend for no reason?” Hank asked.
“Of course you can.” He walked over and wrapped an arm around Hank, resting his head on Hank’s shoulder. The sun was just starting to set, casting a golden glow on everything. This truly was paradise. “Hey, Hank?”
“Hm?”
“Thanks for convincing me to go on vacation.”
Hank huffed out a laugh. “You needed it. You were working yourself ragged. And I thought it might be nice to celebrate our anniversary.”
Alex’s stomach dropped. Anniversary? “Um, babe, our anniversary’s the first week of July.”
Wasn’t it? That was when they’d had their first date. Or was Hank talking about when they’d first slept together, ‘cause that didn’t exactly count, in Alex’s opinion.
“You’re freaking out,” Hank said gently. “Don’t worry. You didn’t forget. I meant the anniversary of us meeting again. That was definitely in early May.”
“You remember that?” He couldn’t remember the exact date they’d run into one another again, but he hadn’t realized Hank could. What did that say about him?
“I remember everything. The first time we re-met, planning Hazel’s wedding, falling in love with you, being there when little Lexi was born, watching my brother and your sister go on their first date… It’s been quite the year.”
It really had been. When he’d moved back to Redwood, he’d been convinced he was a disgrace. His entire life was in shambles. He’d lost his boyfriend, his career, and every scrap of dignity he had. But Hank had given him all of that back and more. It wasn’t always a cakewalk. There were times Alex struggled to trust Hank, even though he’d only ever proven himself trustworthy; and likewise, Hank found it difficult to share with Alex. But the important thing was they were trying. No matter how bad their arguments got, Alex always stayed, and they always worked through them.
