by Gerri Hill
“Hey.”
She blinked several times, bringing herself back to the here and now.
“Where’d you go? Your smile disappeared.”
Should she force one? No. She and Erin were now lovers, yes, but she and Erin were friends. They’d talked about everything. No need to hide things now.
“I’m feeling guilty all of a sudden,” she admitted.
Erin’s expression softened. “I expected it sooner than now, I guess.”
She looked past Erin to the muddy red creek, watching as the runoff carried away the small sticks and twigs that had littered the dry bed. The first few rains would clean it. When the monsoon hit, when the heavy rains came, the little creek would flow clean and clear, winding around the back of the bluff, past the cabin and shed where it would eventually empty into Eagle Creek.
“I didn’t think of Adam…last night, I mean, when we were… Well, I—”
“You have a life, Mel. You can’t let him dictate how you live it.”
“Can’t I? I killed him.”
“No, Mel. That was his choice.”
“Brought on by my actions.”
Erin came closer and grasped her shoulders, forcing her to look at her. “Don’t you think there was something else to it? Could there have been? Mel, if everyone did what he did…”
“What about you? You were cheated on by someone you loved.”
“I didn’t put a goddamn gun to my head.”
“No, but you stopped taking care of yourself, you stopped caring. You very well could have met the same fate.”
“And how stupid of me would that have been?” She dropped her arms and took a step away. “Now? I feel like an idiot. I let her take eighteen months of my life. For what? The only good thing to come of it was that I came out here, I met you. I feel normal again.” She met her gaze and held it. “If everyone killed themselves because they were cheated on…My God, the world would be an empty place, wouldn’t it?”
“It’s not that easy to brush away, Erin.”
“It’s been eleven years. How long do you hold on to it? How long before you forgive yourself?”
She bit her lip. “I don’t know that I can forgive myself.”
Erin came closer again, reaching up to touch her cheek. “What you did—your affair—you can’t undo that, Mel. No matter how hard you try, you can’t undo it.”
“I know. If I could…”
“Don’t do what-ifs, Mel. That’ll do nothing but drive you crazy.”
Melanie let out a deep breath, then took Erin’s hand. “You’re right. I shouldn’t do what-ifs and rehashing it won’t change anything either. Let’s finish our walk.”
A few steps later, Erin bumped her shoulder. “Are you sorry?”
“Sorry we slept together? Not at all. Are you?”
“No.” Then she grinned. “It seemed overdue.”
Melanie laughed. “Yes, maybe so. Just thinking about making love with you terrified me. I was so afraid I’d freeze up or cry or not remember how. But last night…It seemed to all happen naturally. So no, I’m not sorry. Relieved, really.”
“Not remember how?” Another playful bump to her shoulder. “Like riding a bike.”
She stopped walking and so did Erin. “I’ve always had a hard time reaching…Well, what I’m trying to say is that orgasms didn’t come easy. Ever. Last night, everything seemed so effortless. Natural.” She shrugged. “I never had any doubt that I’d climax.”
Erin leaned closer and kissed her. “Well, I could say it’s because I’m so skilled, but it’s probably because—after eleven years—your body was ready to explode.”
Melanie pulled her closer for another kiss. “We could say that, I guess. We’ll need to experiment further to be sure.”
Erin smiled against her lips. “I’m all for that.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Erin felt Melanie watching her, and she turned around, pausing in her chore of mucking the goats’ stall. She wiped the sweat from her brow and grinned.
“Never thought I’d be doing this topless.”
“I told you, gardening topless is awesome.”
“And it’ll make it so much easier when we get in the creek later.”
Mel took the wheelbarrow and headed toward the compost pile. “Are we getting in the creek?” she asked over her shoulder.
“We are.” She followed, the shovel balanced over her shoulder. “In fact, I’m ready right now. It’s hot as hell out here today.”
Melanie surprised her by stopping. She looked up into the clear sky, shielding her eyes from the sun. “You’re right. It is hot. Let’s go cool off.”
They held hands as they walked to the creek. Erin thought it was sweet, and she tried to remember a time when she and Sarah had walked together and held hands. She couldn’t think of any.
“You’re getting so tan.”
She nodded. “I am. Going around topless helps.”
“You have a nice body. And I’ll be honest, I would not have said that even a month ago.”
She patted her stomach. “I’m glad you don’t have a scale in the house. I’d be almost afraid to weigh myself.”
“When you get to a healthy weight, you’ll stop gaining.”
“Not if I keep eating the way I am.”
“You’re eating good food, though. Well, we could stand to cut down on cheese, that’s for sure. And probably olive oil. Other than those two things, you’re eating whole, healthy foods. Look at me. I never count calories or mind my portions. I eat when I’m hungry, I stop when I’m comfortably full, and I don’t eat again until I’m hungry. I never gain weight.”
“It’s easy out here. There aren’t fast food junk options at every corner or pizza delivery or things like that.”
“I would never go back to eating that way. It makes me cringe to think of all the crap I used to eat. In fact, I think I’m going to seriously give up cheese. I talk about it, but I never actually do it. There’s absolutely nothing healthy about it. It’s pure fat.”
“And eggs?”
“God, no! Are you crazy!”
Erin stood back as Melanie dropped her shorts and glided into the creek, unmindful of the rocks. She found the deep pool and sank down, dipping her head back, then sinking to the bottom. The clear water hid nothing and Erin stared, thinking back to that first morning in bed. Mel had been almost shy, covering herself with the sheet when the light of day invaded the bedroom. Shy after making love. Yet out here, or in the garden, she was completely comfortable in her nakedness. Maybe because she was in her element, it was familiar. Being naked in bed with another woman? She obviously hadn’t adjusted yet, even though they’d shared the same bed for the last several nights.
“You coming in or are you just going to stare?”
She smiled at her. “It’s a nice view.”
Mel splashed water in her direction. “You’re too easy.”
She tossed her shorts on top of Mel’s then headed—a bit more carefully than Mel had—into the creek. She held her hands out to balance herself, then before sinking into the water, she bent her head back and looked into the deep blue sky, relishing the feel of the hot sun on her face. After a few seconds, she turned, this time finding Melanie watching her. She moved into deeper water, not nearly as gracefully as she’d planned; she slipped on a rock at the last moment. She caught herself before going under, then ducked under anyway. The water didn’t seem as cold as the last time.
“Nice.”
Melanie was smiling as she came closer, then she pulled her into a kiss. “I kinda like sharing my creek with you.”
“It’s so peaceful here. Close your eyes and all you hear is water and birds. No traffic, no buzz.”
“Did you have a long commute?”
“The last three years, yes. We moved our office to the downtown area. Parking is a bitch and I hate that I pushed so hard for it. Of course, the hours I worked, there wasn’t much traffic to fight. Still, it was a half-hour drive, even
at my odd hours.”
“Why did you push to move?”
“Why do you think?”
“Ah. Sarah?”
“Yeah. And it totally makes no sense where we are. Sure, it’s in a fancy building and we even have a view of Minute Maid Park. That’s baseball—the Astros. And we have a lot more amenities than the old building.” She shook her head. “For our clientele and where most of our projects are, it’s not convenient in the least. When our lease is up, I think I’m going to push to move us back.” She rolled her eyes. “They’ll think I’m crazy, of course.”
“Sarah wasn’t impressed with your old building, I take it?”
“I’m realizing that Sarah wasn’t impressed with a lot of things. You were right. It’s sad how much had to change—me included—to make her happy. Even then, it wasn’t enough for her.” She held her hand up. “I don’t want to talk about Sarah. It’s too pretty a day.”
“Yes. It’ll have to be a quick soak, though.” She pointed toward the west. “Clouds are already building. I believe you have some mucking to finish.”
She shook her finger at her. “I believe you’re taking advantage of me.”
Melanie gave her a rather saucy look. “I believe you’re being compensated quite well.”
She laughed, then drew Mel to her. Their eyes met and Mel’s were as relaxed as her own must be. “I like you a lot.”
“That’s good. I like you a lot too.” Then Mel grinned. “We must. We’ve been doing all sorts of naughty things together.”
“Well, you’re certainly sleeping later than normal.”
“I know. I’m sure the—” She tilted her head, listening. Then her expression changed. “Oh, crap! We’ve got to hurry!”
“What?”
Melanie pulled her out of the water. “Stella’s coming.”
As Erin watched Melanie try tug her shorts on over her wet legs, it finally dawned on her. They were both topless. She struggled into her own shorts, finally hearing the faint sound of Stella’s old truck.
“How did you even hear that?”
Melanie took her hand and they ran back toward the garden. They stopped past the shed, where they’d left the wheelbarrow. Melanie covered her mouth as she started laughing.
“Where did we leave our shirts? They’re not on the garden fence.”
“I don’t know. If I recall, you took mine off me. Where did you toss it?”
Melanie’s eyes lit up. “On the hay bale.”
They both ran at the same time, stumbling into the shed—and out of sight—just as Stella’s truck appeared. Melanie was giggling uncontrollably as she tossed a T-shirt at Erin. Erin found herself laughing too when she realized they had put on each other’s shirts.
“Yoo-hoo! Girls? Mel? Erin?”
Melanie took a deep breath, a grin still on her face. “I have never been this close to getting caught before!”
“You look good in my shirt. Better out of it, but—”
“Shh! Come on.”
Stella was heading toward the garden when they came out of the shed. Erin noticed that Melanie was still trying to keep the smile off her face.
“Stella, over here.”
Stella turned, nodding. “There you two are. At this hour, I knew you had to be outside. We’ll have rain before too long.”
“Yes, trying to finish up the stalls before it starts. Want to get the compost stirred before it rains.” Mel put her hands on her hips. “What brings you around this late in the afternoon?”
“Oh, I know, dear. I meant to come out this morning, but I got sidetracked. Then Vivian had a few of us over for lunch and of course we stayed longer than we should, drinking coffee and chatting.” Her attention left Mel and moved to her. “My goodness, Erin, you are looking fit as a fiddle.”
“Thank you. I feel good too.”
“Well, I’ve been remiss in coming around to check on you. I apologize for that.”
“No need to check on me.”
“I feel it’s my duty. Especially since you have such a long stay. I hope Mel isn’t forcing you to work for your dinner.” Her tone was teasing, but Erin suspected she meant the question literally.
“I’ve quite enjoyed my time here on the farm. She’s not forcing me to do anything.”
“Good, good. Well, I thought I must come out. Your sister called again last evening. I told her you were fine, but of course it’s been a while since I’ve checked on you. She really would like for you to call her. I told her I would pass on the message. You’re certainly welcome to use my phone at the house.”
A bark from the back of the truck brought their attention around and Fred stuck his head over the side.
“Why do you have Fred back there?” Mel asked as she walked over to rub his head. “We haven’t seen him in a week or more.”
“No, he seems to have camped out at my house. Or he sneaks over to Dianne’s. She’s got more eggs than she knows what to do with. She fries him up a couple for his dinner.”
“So you’re leaving me, huh?” Mel said to the dog.
“I think the trek way out here has just gotten to be too much for him,” Stella said. “Thought I’d bring him by, though, in case you wanted me to leave him with you.”
“No, no. That’s fine. The last year or so, he hasn’t stayed around more than a few days at a time anyway.” Mel rubbed his head again, and Erin noticed a wistful look on her face before she turned back to Stella. “I’ve got some yellow squash. Do you need any?”
“Oh, no, dear. Everyone seems to have a surplus. Angela loaded me up yesterday and my own bush is still producing.” She glanced toward the garden. “I see you haven’t dug all your potatoes yet. I’ll take some of those off your hands when you do.”
“Of course.”
“Well, I should get back. Don’t want to get caught in the storm. The news said this one will bring more rain than the one the other night. That one was a doozy. I guess the lightning was bad up here too.”
“Yes…that was quite a storm.”
Stella turned to her. “And how did you fare, dear?”
Erin was positive a blush lit her face. “It was quite the storm, yes. I couldn’t sleep, in fact. Mel stayed up with me.” She finally glanced toward Melanie, who was again trying to keep a smile from her face. “What time did we finally get to sleep? Well after midnight, wasn’t it?”
“I believe so.”
“Well, you get used to it. My first summer here, I was deathly afraid. The lightning seemed to be hitting the treetops and the thunder bounced around so, you couldn’t even tell if it was coming or going. Now? I go right back to sleep when the storms hit.” She looked to the sky. “I do prefer the afternoon rains, though. Much more tame than those nighttime storms.” Stella surprised her by giving her a hug. “Give some thought to calling your sister, dear. I’m afraid she thinks we’ve lost you or something.”
Erin nodded. “You’re probably right. I’ll get Mel to run me over there tomorrow.”
“Good, good. Come about nine. I’ve got some old bananas I’ve been saving for bread. I’ll bake us up a loaf to go with our coffee.” Stella turned to Melanie and hugged her too. “You’re doing such a good job with our guest. She looks positively radiant. You both do.”
It was Mel’s turn to blush. “It’s the food.”
“And the sunshine,” Erin added quickly, although she didn’t know why. How bad would it be if Stella found out they were lovers? It wasn’t really any of her business, was it?
Melanie didn’t seem to relax, though, until Stella’s truck was out of sight. “So, you look radiant, huh?”
Erin laughed. “Apparently we both do.” She arched an eyebrow. “I take it you don’t want Stella to find out why we look so radiant?”
Melanie shrugged. “As you said, we’re both adults. Stella feels responsible, though, for your well-being. Just like she doesn’t want me forcing you into work, she may think I’ve forced you into my bed.”
A low rumble sounded of
f in the distance, signaling the approaching storm that would bring more needed rain. She smiled at Melanie, pausing to brush her still-damp hair from her forehead. “Wonder why she didn’t comment on our wet hair.”
“She probably thought it was from working. Speaking of which, we should probably get back to it.” Mel picked up the wheelbarrow, then paused. “Remind me to check the weather later. If it’s a strong storm like Stella said, we’ll need to bring Bandito in again.”
She followed after her toward the garden. “Are you going to miss Fred?”
“I suppose. I haven’t thought about him much since you’ve been here. But when I’m alone, he’s company.” She smiled. “Not very talkative, but he listens well.”
“Why don’t you get a puppy?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve thought about it over the years, but it just never happened. Maybe now I will.”
Yeah. What was it? Six more weeks? Seven? She’d lost track of the days…the weeks. She imagined Melanie would miss her company. She opened the garden gate, letting Mel push the wheelbarrow in. She stood at the gate, looking around the pristine garden, knowing she’d helped keep it that way. She actually enjoyed pulling weeds. It was a mindless, therapeutic task. And picking vegetables was…well, fun. Eating them was fun too. She looked around, knowing her time here was slipping away.
“Too fast,” she murmured.
Yes, time was slipping away, and damn, but she’d miss it here. She glanced over to where Mel was turning the compost pile with a pitchfork. She’d miss it here. And she’d certainly miss Melanie.
Funny how time changes one’s perspective on things. Funny how time changed a lot of things.
Including her.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Erin jumped back from the window, wondering why she was standing there in the first place. “Okay, I don’t mind saying it: that one scared me.”
