The Camberwell Raid

by Mary Jane Staples

  ‘Pardon?’ said Boots again.

  ‘Oh, sorry about the familiarity, it must be the whisky,’ said Rosie. ‘No, but listen, you aren’t worried, are you?’

  ‘About what might develop?’

  ‘Nothing will,’ said Rosie. ‘I’ve met him, I don’t dislike him, and I’ll spend a day with him, in company with Tim and Eloise when the weather’s warmer. Then that will be that.’

  ‘I don’t think it will stop there,’ said Boots, ‘I don’t think he’ll allow it to. He’ll want you under his roof part of the time. He said so.’

  ‘Well, dear old thing, he can say it again a dozen times, but it won’t happen.’

  ‘Sometimes,’ said Boots, ‘you sound like Polly.’

  ‘Oh, something of Polly rubs off on all of us, doesn’t it?’ said Rosie.

  ‘Finish your drink,’ said Boots. ‘We need to speak to the rest of the family.’

  Rosie drank the rest of her whisky and soda without flinching. It picked her up, but she said, ‘I think that’s my first and last.’

  ‘It is as far as I’m concerned,’ said Boots.

  ‘Nana’s going to have a fit about Major Armitage,’ said Rosie. ‘So are my uncles and my Aunt Lizzy.’

  ‘I’ve had my own fit,’ said Boots, and Rosie laughed again, which made him think that the arrival in her life of her natural father hadn’t disturbed her to any great extent She’d gone through her meeting with him as easily and unaffectedly as if he’d merely been a new neighbour. Had she been hiding her real feelings? Was it due to her real feelings that she’d promised to spend a day with him? Reading his thoughts, Rosie slipped her arm through his to let him know she was an Adams until the cows came home. Then they went off to tell the rest of the family what the visit of Major Charles Armitage had meant.

  The news that Rosie’s natural father had appeared and declared himself took quite a time to recount because of constant interruptions born of astonishment and disbelief. In the end, Chinese Lady of all people was left dumbstruck. Mr Finch took the revelation philosophically. Tim was gaping. Emily was hardly happy. Eloise, however, was fascinated.

  ‘Rosie, ’ow wonderful, isn’t it? Your own Papa, like I now ’ave.’

  ‘Eloise,’ said Rosie, the calmest person present, ‘your own Papa is also mine.’

  ‘You bet,’ said Tim, ‘I’m against that Army gent butting in.’

  ‘I can’t believe it,’ breathed Emily, ‘I just can’t believe it’s happened, not after Boots findin’ out about Eloise.’

  ‘Finding out about Eloise was the happiest thing,’ said Rosie.

  ‘For me, yes,’ said Eloise.

  ‘For all of us,’ said Rosie.

  ‘That is so nice to say so, Rosie,’ said Eloise. ‘But you are not ’appy about this gentleman finding you?’

  ‘In your case, Eloise,’ said Rosie, ‘I think you needed to be found. I didn’t.’

  ‘I’m blessed if I know what to say,’ said Emily.

  ‘Oh, you’ll think of something, Mum,’ said Tim.

  ‘I’ll think of something myself when I get my breath back,’ said Chinese Lady, sitting as straight and upright as befitted any matriarch of extreme self-respect, even if she was temporarily dumbstruck.

  ‘Take your time, old lady,’ said Boots.

  ‘I’ve never been more flabbergasted,’ said Chinese Lady, ‘first Eloise and now Rosie.’

  ‘Yes, it’s like unexpected dads popping up all over the place,’ said Tim.

  ‘Tim, it’s not funny,’ said Emily.

  ‘Well, Rosie’s not crying,’ said Tim, ‘and nor is Eloise.’

  ‘That boy’s gettin’ flippant,’ said Chinese Lady, ‘and I know where he gets it from. Rosie, you sure all this wasn’t upsettin’ for you?’

  ‘A surprise, Nana, not an upset,’ smiled Rosie.

  ‘Life has a multitude of messenger boys,’ said Mr Finch, ‘messenger boys who lie in wait to thrust telegrams at us, telegrams either welcome or unwelcome.’

  ‘Have you got anything to say, Boots?’ asked Chinese Lady.

  ‘Beware of messenger boys bearing unwelcome telegrams,’ said Boots.

  ‘I don’t know I can make sense of that,’ said Chinese Lady, ‘nor why this has anything to do with telegrams. Rosie didn’t get one. I hope you’ve let her know you’re not goin’ to allow Major Armitage to interfere in her life.’

  ‘We’re standing shoulder to shoulder,’ said Rosie. ‘The only thing that’s going to happen is a visit to Major Armitage’s home. I’d like Eloise and Tim to come with me, and it’ll be one day during Tim’s Easter holiday.’

  ‘Rosie, you’re goin’ to spend a day with Major Armitage?’ said Emily.

  ‘He’s really quite nice, and that was all he asked of me, to visit his home for a day,’ said Rosie.

  ‘Oh, I will come, Rosie, and Tim, yes, won’t you, Tim?’ said Eloise.’

  ‘If Rosie would like me to,’ said Tim.

  ‘Were we invited, Boots, you and me?’ asked Emily.

  ‘The point of the exercise, Em, is for Major Armitage to get to know Rosie a little better,’ said Boots.

  ‘Why?’ asked Emily, who felt, unhappily, that Rosie’s ties with her adoptive family were being threatened.

  ‘Good question,’ said Boots.

  ‘No-one needs to worry,’ said Rosie.

  ‘I might not be able to help worryin’,’ said Emily.

  ‘It’s odd he didn’t ask to meet Em’ly while he was here,’ said Chinese Lady. ‘If I’d been Rosie’s father, I’d of wanted to meet whoever had been a mother to her all these years.’

  ‘I think,’ said Boots, ‘he was so taken with Rosie and her intellectual look—’

  ‘My what?’ said Rosie.

  ‘Intellectual look,’ said Boots.

  ‘I never heard such unsensible talk,’ said Chinese Lady, ‘Rosie’s got lovely looks.’

  ‘Yes, she is beautiful, isn’t she?’ said Eloise, utterly intrigued by everything.

  ‘We’re a privileged circle in the looks of our ladies,’ said Mr Finch, who thought the undercurrent of agitation in Emily and Chinese Lady natural if unnecessary. He thought, in fact, that Rosie would deal calmly with any problems.

  ‘If I could finish,’ said Boots, ‘I think Major Armitage was so impressed by finding Rosie a young lady brilliant enough to be at university, that something like asking to meet Emily never entered his mind.’

  ‘Well, it should of,’ said Chinese Lady.

  ‘An oversight, I daresay,’ said Mr Finch.

  ‘Well, no oversight is goin’ to come between this fam’ly and Rosie,’ declared Emily.

  ‘Bless you, Mum,’ said Rosie, ‘and trust me to make sure it doesn’t.’

  ‘Lord above,’ said Chinese Lady, ‘I can’t believe what’s come about after all these years. Edwin, I think I’d like a little drop of port.’

  ‘And I’ll have a whisky,’ smiled Mr Finch. ‘Join me, Boots?’

  ‘A finger,’ said Boots.

  ‘Perhaps Rosie would like something herself, something a little stronger than usual,’ said Mr Finch.

  ‘No, I don’t think so, Grandpa,’ said Rosie, and glanced at Boots. He winked.

  ‘Edwin, did I hear you suggestin’ someone should pour strong drink into Rosie?’ asked Chinese Lady.

  ‘Someone can pour some into me,’ said Emily, ‘I feel I’ve been hit over the head.’

  ‘Em’ly,’ said Chinese Lady, ‘I hope some of us can stand up to shocks without takin’ to strong drink.’

  ‘No, all right, Mum,’ said Emily, ‘I’ll just make do with a little brandy.’

  ‘I’ll have a beer,’ said Tim.

  ‘Not at your age,’ said Chinese Lady.

  ‘Can you make do with ginger beer, Tim?’ asked Boots.

  ‘I think I’ll have to,’ said Tim.

  ‘What would you like, Eloise?’ asked Emily.

  ‘Oh, I will help Papa pour the drinks and then choose what I would
like, if you please,’ said Eloise, and went to the sideboard with Boots and Mr Finch. She put herself between them. She likes men, thought Rosie.

  ‘Rosie?’ enquired Mr Finch.

  ‘Oh, some tonic with a little vermouth, Grandpa, thanks,’ said Rosie.

  Over the drinks, the. family returned to the discussion concerning what Chinese Lady called a chronic shock. Mr Finch eventually suggested they leave Rosie to look after all developments.

  ‘Good idea,’ said Tim, ‘Rosie’s got sense.’

  ‘Mind you,’ said Chinese Lady, ‘I suppose Lizzy and Tommy and Sammy and the others will have to be told. I don’t know what Lizzy will say, when it’s come so quickly on top of Boots findin’ out about Eloise.’

  ‘Oh, I think they’ll all survive, Nana,’ said Rosie.

  ‘Yes, none of us have dropped dead,’ said Tim.

  ‘Em’ly, stop that boy bein’ flippant,’ said Chinese Lady.

  ‘But I wasn’t being flippant,’ said Tim. ‘I mean, we’re all still alive.’

  Chinese Lady showed a very faint smile.

  ‘An extra pint, milkman, if you’d be so obligin’,’ said Mrs Herbert of King and Queen Street. It was Saturday, and Bill Chambers was on his afternoon round, which included persuading his customers to settle their bills for the week.

  ‘Extra pint? Pleasure, missus,’ said Bill, which it was. He augmented his small wage with commission on every pint sold. He fetched a bottle from his float. Mrs Herbert fished about in her purse for the required amount of money to cover her owings. ‘You’re a valuable customer with all the extras you have,’ said Bill. ‘You and your family like milk puddings, do they?’

  ‘You can say that again,’ said Mrs Herbert, taking the bottle and handing over coins. ‘It’s me kids, and me old man as well. Next thing you know, they’ll all turn into milk puddings themselves.’

  ‘Some customers don’t have as much milk as I’d like,’ said Bill. ‘Your neighbour, Mrs Hyams, for instance.’

  ‘Well, she’s a nice woman and only orders what she needs, I suppose,’ said Mrs Herbert. ‘Bein’ a widow and out at work, she wouldn’t want a lot.’

  ‘A widow, is she?’ said Bill. ‘Well, as I’m fairly new on this round, I don’t know everything about every customer.’

  ‘Good thing too,’ said Mrs Herbert, smiling, ‘we don’t want our milkman knowin’ everything, do we?’

  ‘See your point, Mrs Herbert,’ said Bill. ‘So long now.’ On he went, cajoling his horse to follow, and he knocked on Lilian’s door. Not long home from her morning’s work, she answered it. ‘Well, good afternoon to you, missus,’ said Bill, ‘nice weather we’re havin’.’

  ‘Are we?’ said Lilian, fulsome figure nicely wrapped up in light blue blouse and a navy blue skirt. ‘It’s been raining, hasn’t it?’

  ‘Not much,’ said Bill. ‘Could I have the pleasure of extracting one-and-fourpence from your handsome self?’

  He’s got saucy eyes, this one, thought Lilian, plus a turn of speech that could flatter some women.

  ‘Any eggs?’ she said.

  ‘Well, blow me,’ said Bill, ‘you’re askin’?’

  ‘You’re usually offering,’ said Lilian.

  ‘Sell you a dozen, if you like, Mrs Hyams.’

  ‘What a kind man,’ said Lilian, ‘but could you make it half a dozen?’

  ‘I could and I will, and won’t charge you any more than a bob,’ said Bill.

  ‘What’s your normal charge, then?’ asked Lilian.

  ‘One and tenpence for a dozen, a bob for half a dozen and not a penny more. That’s a promise. By the way, seeing you’re a widow woman, might I have the pleasure of callin’ for you tomorrow afternoon and doing a saunter round Regent’s Park with you?’

  ‘Might you what?’ asked Lilian.

  ‘Thought I’d ask, y’know,’ said Bill.

  Someone coming from the direction of the market thought it appropriate to stop then. It was none other than kind Mr Morrison.

  ‘Good afternoon to you, Mrs Hyams,’ he said.

  ‘Out of your shop again, Mr Morrison?’ said Lilian.

  ‘It’s in the hands of the lad for five minutes,’ said Mr Morrison. ‘Well, didn’t I tell myself to come along and let you know I’ll knock on your door tomorrow to make up for the disappointment last week? I should let a disappointment spoil things? No, no. I—’

  ‘Well, never mind, Mr Morrison, it’s very thoughtful of you, my life, yes,’ said Lilian, ‘but I shall be at Regent’s Park with my gentleman friend tomorrow.’

  ‘I am hearing this, Mrs Hyams my dear?’ said Mr Morrison.

  ‘Yes, and I won’t keep you,’ said Lilian, ‘especially as I’m busy trying to get my milkman to sell me some eggs. Goodbye, Mr Morrison.’

  Mr Morrison blinked, sighed in defeat and took his portly self back to the market and his shop.

  ‘Mrs Hyams, the gentleman friend you mentioned sounded like me,’ said Bill.

  ‘What makes you think that?’ asked Lilian.

  ‘You mentioned Regent’s Park as well,’ said Bill.

  ‘Oh, it was all said to discourage Mr Morrison from calling,’ smiled Lilian. ‘He’s a kind enough bloke, so I didn’t have the heart to simply tell him to push off.’

  ‘All right, I won’t say a word,’ promised Bill. ‘I’ll just pick you up tomorrow about half-two.’

  ‘You’ll what?’ said Lilian.

  ‘Trust me,’ said Bill, ‘I know the gent’s shop, but I’ll pass it by, I won’t blow the gaff. I don’t like embarrassin’ a lady.’

  Lilian laughed.

  ‘My life, I should be blackmailed on my doorstep?’ she said.

  ‘I’ll get your eggs,’ said Bill. ‘My word, you’re a handsome woman, Mrs Hyams.’

  Tommy Adams, arriving home from his half-day stint as manager of Adams Fashions’ Shoreditch factory, was greeted in the hall by his wife Vi.

  ‘Tommy, have you heard about Rosie and an Army man who says he’s her father?’ she asked.

  ‘Come again?’ said Tommy.

  ‘Yes, Em’ly’s been on the phone,’ said Vi, and Tommy listened as she gave him the details.

  ‘Don’t like the sound of it,’ said Tommy.

  ‘Em’ly said that Rosie says it’s not goin’ to make any difference.’

  ‘But she’s goin’ to spend a day with him, you said. Listen, Vi, if he’s an Army major and went out of his way to call on Boots, it wasn’t just to meet Rosie. If it had been, he wouldn’t ’ave bothered, he’d ’ave let sleepin’ dogs lie. Stands to reason. No, you mark my words, Vi, after findin’ out about Rosie from Mr Tooley, I’ll lay fifty to one this major decided to go to work on her with the idea of gettin’ her to part company with Boots and Em’ly.’

  ‘Don’t be silly, Tommy, Rosie adores Boots and Em’ly. She’d never leave them. Well, not unless she got married.’

  ‘Rosie’s not twenty-one yet, and there’s no bloke in her life,’ said Tommy darkly.

  ‘Oh, lor’,’ said Vi.

  ‘We’re not partin’ with Rosie,’ said Tommy, ‘not after all she’s been to the fam’ly.’

  ‘Still, we can’t interfere,’ said Vi.

  ‘I’m goin’ to fall ill if any more things like this keep happening,’ said Lizzy Somers to her husband Ned.

  ‘We’ll all fall ill if Major Armitage manages to establish a claim on Rosie,’ said Ned.

  ‘What d’you mean?’ demanded Lizzy. ‘What claim could he have when Boots and Em’ly adopted her official?’

  ‘He’ll look for one if he wants to make her part of his own family,’ said Ned.

  ‘Boots and Em’ly will fight that till they drop,’ said Lizzy. ‘Honestly, though, wouldn’t you think from the way Boots behaved with Eloise’s mother, he could have found time to go to bed with the woman Milly Tooley as well?’

  ‘It’s not like you, Eliza, to be in favour of improper stuff,’ said Ned.

  ‘I’m not,’ said Lizzy, ‘I’m just saying
that if Boots had had an affair with Milly Tooley as well, then both Eloise and Rosie could’ve become his natural daughters. It’s just like him to have been airy-fairy and casual.’

  ‘Can you support that piece of logic?’ asked Ned. ‘It all sounds a bit weird and wonderful to me. It seems you’re saying that Boots, before doing his wartime bit with his French bird—’

  ‘Don’t be vulgar,’ said Lizzy.

  ‘Eliza, you’re saying Boots should have asked his company commander if he could have time off to put a bun in Milly Tooley’s oven.’

  ‘Ned Somers, don’t be so common,’ said Lizzy.

  ‘Considering Boots hadn’t any idea at the time of who Milly Tooley was, you’re flying a bit high, aren’t you, Eliza?’

  ‘Well, you know what I mean,’ said Lizzy. ‘And Rosie would’ve loved to have been Boots’s natural daughter.’

  ‘Perhaps,’ said Ned. ‘But I’ve always thought she’s enjoyed a special kind of happiness in knowing Boots and Emily wanted her and couldn’t wait to make her their own. I think however Major Armitage might go about establishing a claim and a father’s relationship with Rosie, he’ll never get the affection from her that she gives to Emily and Boots. In fact, if he makes things difficult for them, Rosie will quite likely blow his house up and him with it.’

  ‘Oh, Lord, she wouldn’t do anything like that, would she?’ breathed Lizzy.

  ‘Well, you know what I mean,’ said Ned, smiling.

  ‘It’s a peculiar thing,’ said Sammy, frowning, ‘but me whole life has been one fight after another. I’m still fightin’ to wear the trousers in this fam’ly, Susie, as a self-respectin’ husband and father should, and where’ve I got with that?’

  ‘Nowhere,’ said Susie, in private conversation with him.

  ‘It’s not for want of tryin’,’ said Sammy.

  ‘I never knew anyone more tryin’, Sammy,’ said Susie.

  ‘I’m serious,’ said Sammy.

  ‘So am I,’ said Susie.

  ‘I’m dead serious about not likin’ this bloke callin’ himself Rosie’s father.’

  ‘It seems he is her father,’ said Susie.

  ‘That means another fight,’ said Sammy.