She’s been calling me? Shit, I didn’t hear the calls. I follow Alice into the dressing room where I see Jessie sitting at one of the vanity tables, fiddling with her phone. She looks frustrated as hell, but her expression changes when she looks up.
“Nick!” she cries. “You’re… here!”
“Yeah,” I say. I glance over and see Alice surreptitiously slipping out of the room.
She holds up her phone. “I’ve been trying to call you because…”
I frown at her. “Because what?”
She stands up. She looks so beautiful in that dress I bought her. It almost makes me dizzy to look at her. “You weren’t at the performance tonight.” She looks down at her bare feet. “You always come to my shows. And tonight… you weren’t there.”
“Right.” I chew on my lip. “I thought… I thought maybe it would be better for both of us if I stayed away from you for a while.”
Her brow furrows. “You did?”
I nod. “Yeah, I did. But… it turns out I can’t. I can’t fucking stay away from you.” I watch her eyes grow wide. “I love you, Jessie. I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you and I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you. I made a big mistake when I pushed you away, and I’ve spent every moment since then regretting it.” I look up at her. “I want to make it up to you. I’ll do anything you want—anything you say. I can make you happy, Jessie. I’ll be so good to you. I’ll treat you so much better than he ever could. And…”
She’s not saying anything. It’s freaking me out. I’m giving this big speech and she’s just standing there mutely. Am I making a fool out of myself? Is she standing there thinking about how I’m a big loser for having a crush on her for almost twenty years? Is she trying to figure out a way to let the guy in the wheelchair down easy?
“Please say something,” I say, my voice cracking on the words.
She doesn’t say anything. She walks over to me, and before I know what’s happening, she’s sitting down on my lap. I grab her instinctively and pull her close to me, and suddenly, her lips are on mine. She’s kissing me. Those soft, familiar lips are on mine, and it’s all I’ve ever wanted. I could die now and be happy. Jessie wants me back. This isn’t going to be another time when she kisses me and tells me it’s a mistake and she can’t do this.
Jessie pulls away and looks into my eyes. “Nick, I can’t…”
Shit. She did it to me again.
Chapter 31
Nick
“You’re fucking joking,” I say, feeling the anger and frustration rising up. I can’t believe this. After everything that asshole did to her, she’s really going back to him? Am I really that unattractive to her? I grab my wheels, straightening up so that she can get off me.
“Nick, that’s not what I mean.” She grabs my forearm. “I just mean I can’t do anything with you until I break up with Seth.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. “Great. You’re leaving him. Do it tonight.”
She shakes her head. “Not tonight.”
I raise my eyebrows at her.
“Nick,” she says, “I’ve been with Seth for fourteen years. I have to do this the right way.”
“He hit you,” I remind her.
“I know that,” she says. “But I’m not in danger. I just need a couple of days. That’s all.”
“You swear you’re going to do it, right?”
She runs her hand along the five o’clock shadow on my jaw. “I have to. Nick, I can’t… I can’t stop thinking about you.” She bites her lip. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since we reconnected.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “And you’re not going to get upset if you see me carrying a gun?”
“No,” she says. “I don’t like it, but… I love you. If you have to carry a gun, well, I’ll make peace with it. With the gun. With everything. I want you too much to let something like that get in the way.”
She wants me. She loves me.
I didn’t blow it after all.
“Okay,” I finally say. “Take a few days, if that’s what you need.”
But I get this bad feeling. With Jessie, I always had to wait. I had to wait for us to get older. I had to wait for her to move out of her father’s house. I had to wait till I could start walking again. Now I gotta wait for this. Every time, something new has always come up to keep us from being together. As much as I’m determined not to let anything get in the way, I know that there are things in this world beyond my control.
_____
“She’s really gonna leave her fiancé? For you?”
Tony and I are sitting in Tootsie’s, watching Jessie’s first performance there. I made the manager show me what she was going to wear so I could approve it. I know the kind of slinky outfits they got girls wearing here, and I don’t have any intention of letting Jessie strut her stuff in a G-string in front of a room full of people. It’s fine for the other girls, but not mine.
“Is that so surprising?” I say to my brother.
“Yeah, it is.” Tony takes a swig of his beer. “Not that you’re not super handsome and charming, obviously.”
“Fuck you.”
He grins at me. “Another example of that charisma that wins over all the young ladies’ hearts.”
I just roll my eyes at him. “Shut up. I can’t hear her sing.”
Now it’s his turn to roll his eyes. “She’s singing that total eclipse song. You’ve probably heard her sing that song five billion times.”
I have. But somehow, it never gets old. Especially now that I know she’s mine and she’s looking right at me when she sings it.
“I think you can go blind if you stare straight at a girl singing ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart,’” Tony comments.
I’m not going to answer him until the song is over. And if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll shut the hell up. Much like Cleopatra’s, I own this place—not him. He’s got no part in it except that I tell the bouncer to let him in whenever he wants.
“By the way,” Tony says as Jessie disappears backstage. “Did you put any more thought into Lombardi’s offer?”
“The answer to that question,” I say, “is the same as it was the last fifty times you asked me. No. The answer’s no. It’s always gonna be no. I’m not selling my hotel to Lombardi.”
“Our hotel,” he corrects me.
He’s right. Tony’s got a stake in the Morell too. Not as much as me, but enough. It’s still my decision though. “Yeah. Our hotel.”
“Lombardi said he might even be able to go higher on the offer,” he adds.
I look at him sharply. “Tony, you’ve been talking to Lombardi?”
For a moment, my brother looks flustered. I’m sure Lombardi told him not to tell me they’d been talking. It pisses me off—now this asshole has my own brother lying to me?
“Just once,” Tony mumbles.
“I am never selling the Morell to John Lombardi.” I’m struggling to keep the anger out of my voice. “You got that?”
I don’t entirely catch my brother’s answer because at that moment Jessie comes out from the backstage area, and she’s still wearing that tight dress she performed in. I can’t even suppress a smile. No, she hasn’t broken it off with her fiancé yet, but she’s planning to do it tomorrow night. She’s booked a reservation at a restaurant and she’s going to tell him there. While they’re out, Chrissy is going to go into their apartment and grab the packed luggage from the closet. Nice and clean.
There is nothing that can stop this from happening.
Chapter 32
Jessie
I can’t help but grin when I see Nick waiting for me in the audience at Tootsie’s. I know I’m supposed to be staying away from him until I’ve managed to break things off with Seth, but he looks so handsome and his dark eyes draw me in. Nick is still the most attractive man I’ve ever met. I want him so bad.
So instead of sitting next to him, I slide into his lap.
Nick looks surp
rised at first, but then he grins and pulls me closer to him. I feel the heat of his body against mine and all those firm muscles in his chest. I’ve never wanted to kiss him so badly, and I can’t hold back anymore. I lower my lips onto his and we make out for a good five minutes before we separate for air.
“Get a room, you two,” Nick’s brother Tony comments.
Nick shoots his brother a look. I will never entirely understand the relationship between the Moretti brothers. Nick has every right to despise Tony—after all, it was Tony’s antics that got him shot in the first place. And from what I understand, Tony has no clue what he’s doing in the business and it ends up with Nick doing all the work. In spite of that, I know the two of them are close.
Nick turns back to me and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “I would love to get a room,” he whispers.
One more night. Tomorrow I’ll break the news to Seth. It has to be at a restaurant because I’m scared of telling him in the privacy of our own home. At a restaurant, he won’t make a scene. He’ll accept it and then it will be over.
And I can finally be with Nick, after nearly twenty years of waiting.
A waitress in a string bikini sashays by our table and plunks a drink on it so hard that the entire table shakes. She gives the two of us a dirty look before she stomps away. I glance at Nick, who looks decidedly uncomfortable.
“Shit,” he mutters under his breath. “Richard said Lori wasn’t working tonight…”
Lori. That’s the girl Alice told me Nick had been seeing the night we kissed for the first time. I can’t blame her for being upset.
It’s a shame, but at the same time, Nick apparently hooked up with all the waitresses. It wasn’t like they were in a meaningful relationship.
After another fifteen minutes of making out with Nick, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I go to the staff restroom all the way in the back, because I want some privacy to get out of this incredibly uncomfortable bra I’m wearing. I’ve worn push-up bras before, but this one is pushing my boobs practically into my chin. I need it off me, ASAP.
Except I’m not the only one in the staff restroom. Lori the waitress is standing at the sink, her eyes rimmed with red, her nose swollen. She’s clearly trying to get herself back together so she doesn’t have to be the crying waitress in the string bikini. That can’t be good for tips.
Lori turns her head sharply when I come in. Her eyes widen when she sees it’s me, then they narrow. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m just…” I gesture at my bra helplessly. She should get it—hers looks just as bad.
“At least you only have to wear it for your show,” she comments bitterly.
In the darkness of the club, I hadn’t realized quite how young Lori is. She can’t be much more than twenty, if she’s even that. She’s not much older than I was when Nick broke my heart.
“I’m really sorry,” I say softly.
Lori looks me over, from my mostly bare legs to my short skirt to my horribly uncomfortable bra. “I can’t believe Nick left me for you.” She adds, “You’re so old. And fat.”
She’s making it hard to be sympathetic. “I’ve known him a long time.”
She studies me for a minute, squinting at my face. “How big can you open your mouth?” she says.
“What?”
She sighs. “Yeah, that’s what I thought—you have no clue how to please a man. Nick will be over you in a month. Then I’ll get him back.”
I don’t say anything. I’ll let her believe what she wants.
“And then,” she adds, “you’ll be sorry.”
Lori gives me one last look before pushing past me roughly to leave the restroom. I know she’s just trying to make me feel bad, but her words leave a sour taste in my mouth. She was threatening me. That little girl was actually threatening me.
I better not tell Nick.
Chapter 33
Jessie
Seth and I have our dinner reservation at eight o’clock, and I’m scared out of my mind. I’ve been with Seth for fourteen years and it’s not going to be easy to tell him that it’s over. But I don’t have much of a choice. Last night, I managed to resist the temptation to go back to Nick’s apartment, but I won’t be able to resist again. I need to end it with Seth and move on.
I meet up with Chrissy for drinks one last time before going home so she can give me a quick pep talk. She buys me a beer, which makes me feel only marginally better. I could use three or four beers, but I need to be sober for this conversation.
“Do not chicken out,” Chrissy instructs me. “You and Nick are meant to be together, and the longer you stay with Seth, the harder it’s going to be on all of you.”
She’s right, of course. But then again, Chrissy’s never had to break up an engagement. She doesn’t get it.
I stumble into the apartment at half past seven, thinking there won’t be time for Seth to suggest a quickie. But the second I walk in, I know something is wrong. The stench of whiskey hits me like a punch in the face.
“Seth?” I call out.
My fiancé (for now) emerges from the kitchen. He’s got a fresh bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand to replace the one that smashed on the sidewalk outside our building—it’s his poison of choice. His eyes are bloodshot and he’s swaying on his feet.
“Seth?” I say.
His bloodshot eyes meet mine, and I know that we’re not going to make it to our reservation. My plan to tell Seth the truth in a public place has just gone down the toilet.
“Were you kissing Nick Moretti at Tootsie’s last night?” he asks me.
The guilt makes me nauseated. I knew I shouldn’t have kissed Nick again—not till I was done breaking it off with Seth. I’m not sure who told him—could Lori the jilted waitress have made good on her threat? Well, either way, it doesn’t matter. He knows the truth.
“Are you having an affair with that… that cripple?” Seth spits at me.
I ignore the name-calling—there’s no point in defending Nick when he’s like this. “I’m not having an affair with him, but I did kiss him.”
Seth takes a step toward me and I instinctively back up, realizing a second later that the couch is behind me. Before I can think to duck away, Seth raises his hand and slaps me hard across the face.
“You little slut,” he hisses at me. “I can’t believe after everything we’ve been through together, you’d prostitute yourself to that gangster.”
I touch my cheek, which stings from the blow. The sting is quickly evolving into a burning sensation—there will be a bruise. “It’s not like that…”
“It’s bad enough Moretti got one of his thugs to intimidate me outside my office,” Seth growls. “Got some huge guy to get in my face and try to scare me. But I didn’t think you’d stoop so low as to fuck a guy like that.”
“I didn’t…”
“Oh really?” he snorts. He doesn’t believe me and I suppose I can’t blame him. “You’re just doing this to further your stupid career because you’re too old to get a job singing otherwise. The only way that guy would hire you is if you fucked him… it all makes sense now. How else would a guy like that ever get laid?”
“Seth, I love him,” I blurt out.
I see the look on his face and realize I shouldn’t have said that. His features contort into something unrecognizable. I grip the arm of the sofa, knowing I should try to run even though my legs are frozen. And then Seth’s fist is flying through the air and it’s too late.
The blow lands square on my cheekbone, which explodes in pain. I’d heard the expression “seeing stars” before, but I never experienced it until this moment. My vision goes black for a second, aside from little pinpoints of light, then as the blackness fades, I see that Seth is standing there, glaring at me.
“You… you bitch!” he snaps at me. “You have some nerve.”
I swallow hard, my fear mixed with fury. If I ever had any doubt in my mind that I was doing the right thing by leaving Seth
, it’s now gone. All at once, I’m back in my father’s house, cowering behind his giant fists. Helpless.
Except I’m not helpless now. I’m not a fifteen-year-old girl at my father’s mercy. I’m an adult. And I can leave.
“Fuck you,” I spit at Seth. “Nick is a hundred times the man you are. I’m leaving.”
My luggage is still in the closet, but I don’t care. There’s nothing in that bag I need. What I need is to get the hell out of here.
Except it turns out Seth isn’t going to make that so easy for me.
He grabs my wrist so firmly I can’t shake him off. He tosses the bottle of whiskey on the floor and the remaining liquid in the bottle leaks all over our carpet. I raise my eyes to look at him, and he’s as angry as I am. Never releasing pressure on my wrist, he throws me against a wall so hard that the back of my skull makes a resounding “clunk.”
Seth leans in close to me, his breath stinking of whiskey. He presses the weight of his body against me. “You’re not going anywhere, Jessica.”
With his free hand, he grabs my windpipe. The air is immediately stolen from me as I stare into Seth’s bloodshot brown eyes. My left hand is still pinned to the wall, so I claw at him with my right, but I may as well be tickling him with a feather—my scratches and punches have no visible effect on him whatsoever. He’s too drunk to feel any pain.
And then everything starts to go black.
Chapter 34
Jessie
I’m going to die.
Seth is going to kill me with his bare hands. I always believed if I were in this situation, I would be able to escape. Seth isn’t even that big, after all. But I hadn’t realized until this second how much stronger he is than I am, especially fueled by half a bottle of Jack Daniels. He has a death grip on my wrist and the pressure on my windpipe is steady, relentless. I feel the life going out of me, my one free arm useless against his strength, my knees jelly.
The Girl I Didn't Kill For (Jessie & Nick Book 2) Page 17
