“You lied to me?” she demanded. “Deliberately let me believe you just didn’t want kids when you knew you couldn’t have them at all? Why would you do that?”
She rushed him and pushed at his chest with both hands, so furious she could hardly breathe, let alone shout, yet somehow she managed. “You let me walk away from you rather than tell me the truth? What were you thinking?”
“I didn’t want you to know,” he said, capturing both of her wrists and holding them tightly. His gaze pierced into hers, and Maggie saw shame and anger and regret all tangled up together in his eyes. “I didn’t want anyone to know. You think I wanted to tell you I was less than a man?”
Maggie just blinked at him. She couldn’t believe this. Couldn’t get her mind around it at all. “Are you a Neanderthal? Being able to father a child is not a measure of your manhood, you big dolt!”
“To me it is.”
She saw the truth of that statement on his face, and it didn’t calm her down any. Yanking her hands free of his grip, she wheeled around and started pacing the circumference of the room in fast, furious steps.
“All this time, we’ve been apart because you thought you were sterile?” She sent him a quick look and saw her words hit home.
His mouth tightened, his jaw clenched and every muscle in his body looked to be rigid, unforgiving. He didn’t accept weakness, and of course that’s how he would have seen himself. She knew that about him if nothing else. So, yes, she could understand that he would have thought it better to get a divorce than to confess to his wife that he was less than he thought he should be.
That’s what she got for marrying a man whose pride was his major motivator. How typical of Justice. Then she stopped dead, studied her husband and hit him with what she’d just realized.
“It’s your damn pride, isn’t it?” she murmured, never taking her eyes off him. “That’s what’s at the bottom of all this. Why you didn’t fight for me. Why you let me go. For the sake of your damn pride.”
“Nothing wrong with pride, Maggie,” he told her in a voice that just barely carried over the sound of the storm raging outside.
“Unless you hold that pride more precious than anything else. Because that’s what you did, Justice. Rather than admit to me you couldn’t have children, you let our marriage end.” The slap of that truth hurt her deeply. He’d chosen his own image of himself over their marriage. Over their love. “That was easier for you than losing your pride.”
“You’re the one who walked.”
“So you keep reminding me,” she said, moving back toward him now with slow, sure steps. “But you could have kept me, Justice. You could have stopped me with two words. Please stay. That’s all you had to say and you know it. Hell, you admitted to me just the other day that you would have liked to say it. But you couldn’t do it.”
She shook her head as she stared up into dark blue eyes that suddenly looked as cold and deep as a storm-tossed ocean. “I loved you enough that I would have stayed with you if I thought you wanted me to. Instead you pulled away and closed yourself off and I had nothing. No children. No husband. So why the hell would I stay?”
He flinched and looked uncomfortable, but that was fleeting. In a heartbeat, he was back to being his stone-faced, in-control self.
“This is useless, Maggie.” He pushed one hand through his hair, cast a quick look at the window and the storm beyond, then shifted his gaze back to her. “What’s past is past. We can’t change it. But know this. If Jonas is my son, I’m not going to give him up. If that boy is a King, he’s going to be raised by Kings.”
He left her then, walking quietly away without a backward glance, and when he was gone, Maggie felt cold right down to the bone. That icy pit in the bottom of her stomach was still there and now tangled with knots of nerves.
Everything Justice had just said had also been motivated by his pride, his pride in his child, and while she might ordinarily cheer for that, right now all it meant to her was that Justice would be a fierce opponent.
As that thought flew through her mind, Maggie realized that with his money and his family’s power behind him, he might very well roll right over her and win custody if it ever went to court. Then what would she do?
She couldn’t lose her son.
Everything in her went cold and still. Fear rocketed through her system, successfully dousing the fires of her temper.
This was so much more dangerous than she’d ever thought.
“I’ll run away. I swear I will,” Maggie said into the phone a half hour later. “I’ll take Jonas and disappear.”
“Calm down, sweetie,” Matrice urged her. “Now just tell me what happened without the hysterics, okay?”
Sitting on her bed, watching her son stare out the window at the play of the storm outside, Maggie went over her whole fight with Justice. She told her elder sister everything, sparing neither of them, and by the time she was finished talking, she had to admit she felt better already, just for the spewing factor.
“I can’t believe he’d be that dumb,” Matrice said. “If he’d just told you the truth before, none of this would have happened.”
“I already covered that, believe me,” Maggie told her and smiled when Jonas kicked his little legs as if he were desperately trying to get up and run.
“I know, but, oh, hold on—” She half covered the mouthpiece so that her voice was muffled as she said, “Danny, don’t pour oatmeal on the cat, honey. That’s a bad choice. Sorry,” she told Maggie when she was back. “We’re getting a late start on breakfast and Danny apparently wants to share.”
Maggie smiled, thinking of her almost two-year-old nephew. The little boy attacked each day as if determined to get as much out of it as he could. Maggie could hardly wait to watch Jonas at that age. She looked down at her son, trying to grab hold of his own toes, and smiled. There was so much to look forward to. So much she could lose if Justice meant what he said and actually tried to take her son.
Fear galloped along her spine and Maggie took a deep breath, trying to rein it in.
“Mags? You there?” Matrice’s voice brought Maggie back to earth and grounded her in the present.
Her older sister was matter-of-fact and down-to-earth, and she had enough common sense to talk Maggie off the proverbial ledge when she had to. Today, that talent was essential.
“I’m here, Matrice. Worried and a little nauseous, but I’m here.”
“You don’t have to worry.”
“Easy for you to say.”
Matrice laughed. “Honey, I’d be worried, too, if I actually believed that Justice would take you to court over your son.”
“What makes you think he won’t?”
“Because I’m brilliant and insightful. That’s why you called me, remember?”
True. But still, Matrice hadn’t seen Justice’s face. His stern, determined expression.
“It’s not going to go to court, I promise you, so relax a little, okay?”
“You don’t know that,” Maggie assured her, reaching out to smooth her hand across her son’s inky black hair and skim her fingertips along his cheek. Instantly, Jonas made a grab for her finger and held on, as if he’d caught a prize. He couldn’t possibly realize that he also had a grip on his mother’s heart. “Justice is single-minded if nothing else, remember? And now that he’s focused on Jonas and being a part of his life, there’s nothing that will stop him. He’ll do whatever he has to, to ensure he wins.”
“But he can’t win if he alienates you, and he knows it.”
“Maybe. But he’s so focused on Jonas.”
Matrice chuckled. “That’s not a bad thing, honey. You wanted him in Jonas’s life, remember? That was one of the reasons you took the job when Jeff offered it. You wanted Justice to get to know his son. To want to be in his life.”
“Yeah…” Okay, yes, that had been the plan. “But I didn’t mean for him to take my son from me.”
“He’s not going to.”
“Yo
u can’t be sure of that.”
“Yes, I can.”
“How?” Maggie asked, really wanting to be convinced.
Her sister sighed into the phone. “Justice loves you, Mags. He always has. He wouldn’t hurt you like that, and if you think about it, you’ll see that’s true.”
“Yes, but…”
“And please, he’s going to take the baby from you? Can you see him raising a baby on his own? It would be pitiful. Why, my own Tom hardly knows which end of the diaper goes under Danny’s behind!”
“True,” Maggie said, smiling now as her nerves began to unwind a little. She remembered the still-awkward way Justice held his son and knew that he’d be lost if he had to take care of the baby on his own. Then something occurred to her. “But he has Mrs. Carey and she’s crazy about Jonas!”
“She’s crazy about you, too,” Matrice insisted. “No way would that woman help Justice take your son from you.”
“Maybe not,” she said with a sigh, lifting her gaze from the grinning baby to the stormy skies beyond the window. “But, Matrice, I can’t help thinking this is going to get uglier before it gets any better.”
“My money’s on you, kid,” her sister said.
A few hours later Justice studied the ranch report spread out on his desk, but he couldn’t keep his mind from wandering. He’d put a call into King Labs and was unable to get an answer from them yet. What the hell was taking so long? Why couldn’t they just finish the damn test and end the waiting?
He leaned back in his chair then, willing to admit at least to himself that his mind wasn’t on the ranch. Instead, it was tangled up with thoughts of Maggie and the boy who might be his son. And if he wasn’t? he asked himself. What then? Then, he thought, Maggie would leave, taking Jonas with her, and life at the ranch would once again be quiet as the grave.
Was he really willing to go back to living like that?
Justice scrubbed both hands over his face. No, he wasn’t. He hated the idea of once more being alone in this house but for Mrs. Carey. He didn’t like the idea of not seeing toys everywhere. Of not hearing the baby cry or Maggie’s laughter ringing through the halls.
But did he have a choice? Had there been too many lies to patch up a marriage that had once been so shining and right? Great sex wasn’t enough. Not when there had been so many harsh words between a couple. Not when distrust roared up at every corner. And, as he’d told himself before, great sex only complicated things. Remembering the look on her face when he’d finally confessed the truth to her, Justice had to acknowledge that maybe what they’d once shared was too shattered to put back together. And if their marriage was really over, what was left?
A small boy who would need both of them.
He accepted that if Jonas wasn’t his, then Maggie was lying to him. But hadn’t he lied to her, too? Hadn’t he done just what she’d accused him of doing—chosen his pride over their marriage? Was her lie so much more terrible than his? Would it be so bad to accept another man’s child as his own?
People adopted every day. Why couldn’t he?
Warming to his thoughts, Justice stood up and walked to the wide windows overlooking the ranch yard. The storm was still raging, matching the way he was feeling exactly. He laid one hand on the cold glass and felt the tiny slaps of the rain as the drops bounced against his palm.
All he had to do was accept Jonas and he would have an heir. He’d have a boy he could raise and teach. Did it really matter who had created him as long as Justice raised him?
A small voice in his mind whispered yes, it matters. And his pride stirred and did battle with his desires. He couldn’t ask her to be his wife again. That was done. Maggie and he might be finished, but they could have something different, he thought now. Something less than a marriage, less than lovers and more than friendship. It could work.
He could have Maggie and a son if he was willing to bend.
The question was, could he?
When the study door opened behind him, Justice didn’t even have to turn around to know she was there. Watching him. He felt the power of her gaze and waited for her to approach. Her steps were muffled against the thick rugs spread across the wood floor, but he heard her anyway. That sure, confident step was purely Maggie.
She stopped directly behind him, and he could have sworn he felt the heat of her body reaching out for his.
“I won’t lose my son, Justice,” she said, and though her voice was quiet, there was a ring of steel in her tone.
He admired that. Hell, he’d always admired Maggie. Justice turned around to face her, and his gaze swept her up and down, noting the faded jeans, the cream-colored sweater and the wild tangle of her fiery hair. Her blue eyes were calm and fixed on him, but her chin was lifted into fighting mode and he knew she was ready to draw a line in the sand.
So he cut her off before she could.
“You don’t have to,” he said and saw the brief flash of confusion on her face. “I’ve been thinking about this since this morning, and an idea just came to me.”
She tipped her head to one side to watch him warily. “What kind of idea?”
He leaned back against the window jamb, folded his arms across his chest and said, “I want you to move back to the ranch. You and Jonas.”
“You mean once the test results are in.”
“No,” he said. “I mean now.”
She shook her head as if she didn’t quite understand what he was saying. And hell, who could blame her.
“But you don’t even believe that Jonas is yours yet.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he said and actually felt the ring of truth in that statement resonate in his soul. He’d made up his mind. Jonas would be his. Biologically or legally. “I can adopt him legally. Either way, he’ll still be my son.”
“I see,” she said, though he was guessing she really didn’t, since her features were carefully blank. “So, you want me to move back in as your wife?”
Step carefully, King, he told himself.
“No,” he said quietly, “we’re divorced and that’s probably best. Maggie, we were always too combustible for our own good. I know our marriage is over. But there’s no reason you can’t move in here anyway. We can raise Jonas together and have a platonic relationship.”
Her jaw dropped.
He smiled. It wasn’t easy to surprise Maggie King.
“Platonic?” She repeated the word as if she couldn’t quite believe he’d actually said it. “Whatever we have together, Justice, it’s never been platonic.”
“Doesn’t mean it can’t be,” he countered. God knew, he wouldn’t enjoy it much, but if that’s what it took to have her and the baby in his world, then that’s what he’d do. “We could have a good life, Maggie. We’d be close…friends.”
“We’ll never be just friends, Justice,” she told him. “Don’t you get that? There’s too much between us. Too much passion to be stoppered up in a jar and set on a shelf somewhere to make things easier for you.”
“You’re taking this all the wrong way, Maggie. That’s not what I’m trying to do.”
“Isn’t it?” She pushed both hands through her hair and growled briefly under her breath as if she were trying to get hold of her temper. “You’ve decided Jonas will be your son whether he is or not. You’ve decided that I can be your friend and live here at the ranch. But you’re not saying anything about trying for something more, because Justice King doesn’t make mistakes.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Don’t you think I know what you’re doing?” She laughed then, hard and fast. “God, I know you even better than you know yourself. You won’t ask me to live with you as your wife again because that would mean you made a mistake when you let me leave you. And you don’t make mistakes, do you, Justice?”
He just stared at her. How was a man supposed to unravel the wild logic women came up with? “How the hell did you twist this around like that?”
“Because I know you.�
� She laughed shortly and shook her head while she waved one finger at him. “You don’t want platonic, Justice, any more than I do. You just figure that’s the easiest way to get me to agree. Then, once I’m living here at the ranch, you can change things. You’ve probably got it all planned out in your mind. I can just see it,” she continued, wiggling her fingers in wide circles that got smaller and smaller. “You’ll work it around to the arrangement that will suit you best. And what suits you, Justice, is me in your bed. You want me. You want our bodies tangled together. You want hot breath and soul-stealing kisses.”
He took a long, slow breath and then swallowed hard. Figured Maggie would make this more difficult than it had to be. Figured she would see right through his “platonic” offer, too. The woman always had been way too smart. “Of course I want you—that’s obvious enough—but it doesn’t mean we can’t live as friends.”
“Oh, of course it does. It would be impossible. You and I, Justice, were never meant for platonic.” Then she went up on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss that held as much fury as passion.
Justice would have sworn he felt heat swamp him from the top of his head to the bottoms of his feet. She was fire and light and heat and seduction. His arms snaked around her middle, held on tight and pressed her to him, aligning her body to his. He was tight and hard for her in an instant and knew she was making her point all too well.
Then the kiss was over and she was looking up into his eyes. “Deny that, if you can. We’re not friends. We’re lovers.” Her arms dropped from around his neck. “Or we were. Now, I’m not sure what we are anymore. The only thing I’m sure of is, I won’t lose my son.”
She turned her back on him and stomped out of the room without once looking back. But why should she? She’d made her point.
His arms felt empty without her in them. His body was on fire and slowly cooling now that Maggie was gone. Damn it, he hated the cold. He wanted the heat. He wanted her. And he always would. She was right. They couldn’t live together as friends. So what did that leave them?
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