Crazy for the Boss (Crazy in Love Book 1)

by Ashlee Mallory

  “I think it’s best I leave now,” she said, coming to her feet. The way she looked at him was so…cold. Distant. Like she’d already written him off, and his heart seemed to be constricting tightly in his chest. “I wish you luck, and I hope this deal is everything you thought it would be—no matter what you lost to get it.”

  He wanted to bark something back, something that would make her feel a tiny bit of the pain she was causing him right now, but he stopped himself.

  Instead, he watched the one person he’d thought would always be there for him, understand him, walk out the door.

  Back at his desk, he sank into his seat, trying to tell himself he was going to be better off, they were both going to be better off going their separate ways. They clearly were more different than he’d thought.

  If she couldn’t understand the responsibilities that came with being a Thornhill, they had no future.

  In fact, he would be grateful they figured this out now rather than before things got far too complicated.

  Bright and early Wednesday morning, James sat at the table in the boardroom as Dennis, who wasn’t a member of the board or even, technically, employed with the company, laid out his concerns.

  Concerns in James’s decisions these past few months in hiring some young woman who had no prior experience in corporate law or how a company like this operated. Concerns that James took that woman’s opinion over those of their experienced managers, in agreeing to fund that woman’s project. And finally, concerns that if James couldn’t make decisions for himself, why the board should reconsider their earlier vote to use company funds to finance a deal that could fail and fail epically.

  What James wanted to do was cross the room and crash his fist into the man’s smug face over the implied insults he was making toward Quinn and her ways of persuasion.

  It was disgusting and distasteful, and from the expressions of several board members, they agreed with James.

  So James waited, silently fuming, biding his time until it was his turn to lay out the facts and call the vote that, according to his last count, was going to be his.

  And then he could take the pats on the head from his grandfather and the rest of the board before going back to his office knowing that, for someone who now had everything he thought he wanted, he’d still lost something important—and not just his own integrity. No, something more—no, someone more—important.

  Quinn.

  Sure, he could have expected that in the days since her departure, he was bound to feel an immediate loss, as anyone would experience when a trusted and competent employee left, leaving them to scramble to answer questions the employee would have answered had she been there. And Quinn had answered a lot of questions, much more than he’d known, which told him that, with or without her, he wanted to find someone to continue in her position. Someone who would be focused on the employee side in the legal department, not just the leases and contracts.

  But it was more than that.

  He missed her face.

  He missed her snort when she rolled her eyes at something annoying he’d said. The way she knew the worst things about him but seemed to accept him. At least until recently.

  He missed the way she’d hid behind those hideous owlish glasses that he would give anything to see right now. The way she would smile at his bad jokes despite herself.

  He missed how, when they’d made love, she’d given herself entirely to him, and he to her.

  And the hardest truth was to realize that James could spend a day—no, a lifetime—thinking of things he missed and loved about Quinn, but—

  Loved. About. Her.

  He tested the word again.

  Yeah. He sure as hell loved her. Loved her more than anything on this damn earth.

  And what had he given it up for? Some pat on the head from his grandfather? A nod of agreement from the board?

  None of that mattered to him anymore.

  None of it. Only her.

  Only Quinn. A woman who hid so much of herself from people because she was afraid of what they’d think of her if they knew she had to take pills. A woman who’d trusted him with the truth, even though she almost expected him to retract from her in disgust or even fear.

  What had happened to him? Why, in the face of doubt, of fear he might lose his precious deal and his precious job, had he sacrificed something he actually believed in? Because he did believe this employee-assistance program was the right thing to do. He wasn’t Neil and he wasn’t even his grandfather.

  He had his own vision of how he wanted Thornhill Management to grow and operate, appreciating the employees and rewarding them every bit as much as the board members and shareholders.

  And if the board couldn’t accept this, his grandfather couldn’t accept this, then he wasn’t the right man and this wasn’t the right place for him to be.

  He’d been working from a place of fear, fear of letting people down for so long, and he was done with it.

  “James?”

  He didn’t know how long it had been since Dennis had taken his seat and all eyes had turned to him, waiting to hear everything officially that they’d been talking about behind closed doors.

  Coming to his feet, he cleared his throat, taking a moment to make sure what he was about to do was what he wanted.

  Absolutely.

  He wasn’t going to be afraid. He believed in his vision; he believed in himself and his capabilities. Exactly as Quinn had wanted him to do all along.

  Chapter 25

  James nearly skipped up the stairs leading to Quinn’s place. He didn’t know if his announcement back at the boardroom would change anything between them, and he hadn’t done it because he expected it to.

  He’d done it because it was the right thing to do. And he wanted Quinn to know that and maybe find it in her heart to forgive him.

  For everything.

  He rang the doorbell and waited, his heart racing as he wondered what she would say when she saw him, if she’d even open the door to let him explain. He’d tried calling her again, of course, but that call, like the others, had gone straight to voice mail.

  He leaned in, trying to hear if anyone was possibly on the other side of the door, watching him and deciding to let him in.

  Maybe she wasn’t even home. That thought nearly deflated him as the urge to see her right now was overwhelming. He pounded on the door.

  “Coming,” someone called out. It wasn’t Quinn, but at least it was someone who could tell him when she’d be back.

  The door swung open and a pretty blonde stared back at him. Anna, if he recalled correctly. The roomie who wrote a column for the Daily Rundown.

  “Quinn isn’t here,” she said with a definite edge in her tone before he could utter a word. She crossed her arms in front of her.

  “Anna, is it?” She didn’t argue so he assumed he was correct. “Do you know when she will be back? Or perhaps where I might find her?”

  “Why? What more do you have to say that wasn’t already said?”

  “I need to speak to her. I need to apologize. To tell her I love her and a lot of other things but—don’t take this the wrong way—I’d prefer she heard it all first. And from me, directly.”

  Anna studied him, her face still drawn in doubt.

  “Please?”

  She heaved a sigh. “Fine, but Quinn’s at an interview at the Parker building downtown and won’t be back for at least another hour.”

  He didn’t wait, instead turning around and racing back down the stairs. “Thank you, Anna. I owe you one.”

  By the time he was in the car and gave his driver directions, Anna was already back inside.

  He was about halfway there when his cell phone buzzed, and he grabbed it, wondering for a moment if it might be Quinn returning his call.

  He stared at the number. His grandfather.

  After his speech and the board’s vote—in his favor—James hadn’t stuck around to hear the congratulations or remonstrations th
at Cyrus or anyone else wanted to give him. His thoughts had only been on Quinn and finding her.

  “Hello,” he said, waiting for his grandfather to sigh as he usually did before berating him about how he was such a disappointment.

  “James, where are you? I came by your office for a chat, and your secretary tells me you’ve left without any word where.”

  “Yes, well, there is something, a personal matter of great importance, that I needed to take care of.”

  “Personal matter? Does this have something to do with the gal who up and quit on you?”

  “Quinn. Her name is Quinn Taylor and not that it’s really your business, but yes. I’m on my way to see if she might find a way to forgive me.”

  “You’re actually admitting to being wrong about something?”

  “On this issue? Absolutely.”

  “Well, good.” Good? That wasn’t exactly the reaction he’d expected. “Once you get that squared away, I think it’s about time you bring her around to meet the rest of the family. Anyway, the reason I’m calling is I wanted to talk to you about what happened in the boardroom.”

  This was it. Well, nothing he said was going to make James regret what he’d said.

  “You did the right thing. Sticking to your guns like that. Not letting anyone push you around. That’s what Thornhill needs. A strong and fearless leader. Someone who’ll take risks and not back down when his back’s against the wall. You…you made me proud.”

  James was thunderstruck. Proud? He’d never expected to hear those words from his grandfather’s mouth.

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “Remember what I said. I want to see you both this weekend. Dinner Sunday at seven.”

  “I’ll do my best to see it happens.”

  “You do that.”

  The phone went dead.

  James stared ahead, seeing the Parker building soar before him. She was there, inside. The woman who his entire future was bound to and who still didn’t yet know it.

  He barely waited for the car to stop before he threw the door open, not sure where she was in there but determined that he would find her.

  “Thanks again for meeting me like this, John,” Quinn said, rising to her feet.

  “It was my pleasure. To be honest, I couldn’t believe my luck when you rang me Monday and told me that you were moving back into private practice. We’ll be in touch by tomorrow with a proposal.”

  She smiled and shook his hand. It was almost surreal to be here meeting with one of the top labor and employment law firms in the city that specialized in plaintiff’s law. After how far she’d come these past couple of years since leaving her big job at Spencer Hautner almost in disgrace.

  But this place would be different, she knew. It might not pay her as much as she’d made at Thornhill, but she’d be doing exactly what she wanted to do, protecting exactly who she wanted to protect, without treading lightly around the big egos at Thornhill Management.

  It would be a good fit. And it would help her put James and his company behind her once and for all.

  The elevator was crowded, and she stepped to the back, waiting patiently to reach the first floor. For a moment, as the doors shut, she thought she saw someone who looked a lot like James getting off the elevator across the way. But then again, she’d been seeing James everywhere, eyes open or shut, over the past few days, so it didn’t really give her reason to pause.

  It was nearly ten, and the sun was pushing through the clouds on a slightly foggy morning when she spotted the coffee cart out front. Exactly what she needed, and she headed over, getting in line behind a half dozen people already there.

  It took her a moment to notice that someone was standing close enough to cast a shadow over her.

  “You know, if it’s coffee you like, I have the inside track on a hot new franchise deal with a nationally recognized coffee chain.”

  She wouldn’t look at him. She couldn’t look at him. Instead, she kept her attention on the guy in line in front of her and took a step forward as the line progressed.

  “I’m just fine, thank you. Especially since I know exactly what that cup of coffee will cost for so many.”

  “Actually, you might be surprised to hear that it isn’t going to cost anyone anything. Well, except the twenty percent the board voted to continue to front, and the other eighty percent the bank is financing.”

  Whatever new game James was playing, she wasn’t going to bite. She pretended he wasn’t there instead.

  “Our flagship Blossom Brew store should be opening in the next couple of months. And—this you might find of particular interest—we’ll also have unrolled the new employee-assistance program by then as well. Actually the EAP will have been available for two months by that time.”

  Had she heard him correctly? The program—her program—was a go? She risked a glance his way, not sure if she liked the way he was smiling at her like that. “Good. I’m glad to hear that you’re recognizing the importance of valuing all of your employees.”

  She took another step forward in line. If he expected her to jump up and down and throw her arms around his neck as if all was forgiven, he was sorely mistaken. Him taking…four days to do the right thing was not okay. Nor was the way he’d betrayed her.

  “That’s right. I can see you’re restraining yourself from expressing your excitement. You were also right. About my needing to believe in me. About not being afraid. When it came time to speak before the board earlier, I found your words echoing in my head. Well, that and a few other things that made me realize how much I missed you, but I digress. The point is, I didn’t compromise. I laid out again why the EAP was a sound business decision, why letting go of Dennis was the best thing for the future of the company, and why they needed to put their full faith in me so I can do my job.”

  He had? He’d done all that? She wanted to ask him how it’d gone, but she bit her lip.

  No. Whatever happened at Thornhill Management or happened with James Thornhill no longer concerned her.

  Another step forward. The guy in front of her was giving his coffee order.

  “You might be relieved to hear—I know I was—that the board won’t be throwing me out on my ass any time soon. Not that that would have changed what I’d said. Standing up for what I believed in was the right thing to do. I just wish I’d come to the realization sooner. Before I lost someone who meant a great deal to me. Before I lost you.”

  She wasn’t going to look at him, no matter what he said.

  “I know that right now you’re mad at me, and justifiably so. I was an ass, and after asking you to trust me, I betrayed that trust and hurt you. I’d give anything if I could take that moment back. That moment when I saw the pain and disappointment in your eyes. I was afraid to fail and wasn’t yet ready to believe I could do it all fully on my own. You believed in me, though. More than anyone ever has…at least for a long time.”

  She felt a lump in her throat.

  The line was totally clear in front of her now. But she was having a hard time moving.

  “Are you ordering something or not?” the coffee guy asked in a tone that led her to believe he’d been waiting longer than that moment.

  She stepped up, aware of James stepping up along with her. “A small latte, please.”

  “Five twenty-five.”

  Oh, right. Money. She fumbled through her handbag until she found her wallet and opened it.

  Damn. She’d used the last of her cash for the cab to get here.

  From the corner of her eye, she saw someone holding out a twenty-dollar bill.

  The guy cleared his throat, and she sensed some frustration from others behind her, waiting for her to do something.

  “Fine. But it’s a loan only. You can have it deducted from my last check.”

  “Fair enough.”

  She took it and handed it to the coffee guy, who made the change, then started her latte.

  “Let’s see. Where was I…? That’s right. I want you to
take whatever time you need to process everything and see if you might ever reach the point you can forgive me. And I’ll leave you alone while you do. But before I do, there’s one more thing you need to know—”

  The sound of the machine frothing the milk cut James off, and he paused, waiting for the whirring to end before starting again.

  “I know I have a lot to prove to you, to show my sincerity when I say this, but I need you to know how much I love you. I love you, Quinn.”

  That she hadn’t expected. And she sucked in a breath, trying to understand why her heart was hammering again. It had been broken, right? Shattered. Nothing could salvage it.

  “Now I know,” James continued, still not giving up. “You’re probably secretly snorting inside, having a hard time believing it’s possible that someone as seemingly selfish as me could love anyone. But it’s true, and I promise I will never give you a reason to doubt my word. Because you’re the only person I want to see when I close my eyes at night, the first person I want to see when I wake up. You’re the person I want to call bullshit when I say something’s impossible. Who makes me laugh one minute and then makes me want to kiss you senseless the very next. Who will sit there with your owlish glasses on your cute face appearing as prim and proper as a schoolmarm before pulling on the fishnet tights and roller blades and taking out everyone who gets in your way. Quinn…”

  He stopped, waiting, and she knew he was waiting for her to look at him. But she was almost afraid to, only making it this far by refusing to stare into those deep blue eyes that she never seemed able to say no to.

  But one thing she wasn’t was a coward. If this was it, if that’s what she intended, she needed to at least face him.

  Taking a breath, she raised her eyes to meet his. Just as she’d thought. His eyes were soft now, and despite the hope that was in their depths, there was also sadness.

  “Quinn, you’re the one person I want to spend the rest of my life making happy.”

  Someone cleared their throat. Twice.