Jake turned to ask her a question, and the words died before he could speak. Her mouth was only inches away from his own. His gaze met hers, then dropped to her mouth with silent invitation. Catie didn’t move as Jake slowly lowered his mouth onto hers.
He kissed her gently at first, nipping at her lips, tasting her, waiting for her to stop him, to tell him he’d lost his mind. When she didn’t, he slipped his tongue farther into her mouth as he cupped her neck and held her lips to his. Fire exploded throughout him as he touched the tip of her tongue.
Catherine tilted her head, angling closer to him, and her hand caressed the back of his head. Jake put his arm around her and pulled her to him, pressing his body against hers.
His mouth left hers, trailing kisses to her ear and down her neck, inflaming the emotions rocketing through him.
“Oh, Jake,” Catherine whispered softly, and she pressed a soft kiss beneath his ear. “This shouldn’t be happening.” Her breathing was labored, her eyes closed.
“No,” Jake agreed gravely. His lips nipped hers again, then settled on her mouth, taking it fully beneath his, tasting her again, deeply, a little desperately.
She gave herself in that moment, in that one staggering kiss, and the tangible fire between them became an inferno. Jake cupped her head and chin with both hands, fusing their mouths together, drinking her in. His tongue seared hers, and she moaned, then pressed herself closer to him, her hands gliding along his back. Jake wanted nothing more at that moment than to be inside her sweet warmth.
“I want you, Catie. Right here, right now,” he declared, breathing heavily.
Jake’s words exploded in Catherine’s mind as he touched her breast, lightly at first, stroking her in a soft, circular rhythm that made her pulse race. Then he filled his hand with her and ran his thumb across her nipple. Aching, it puckered beneath the fabric of her shirt.
Catherine put her hands against Jake’s chest, thinking she should stop this insanity. She could feel the heavy thud of his heart beating beneath her palm. Somewhere in the back of her mind the thought that this shouldn’t be happening between them disappeared, gone in a moment, replaced by a rapid quickening of need in the deepest core of her.
She clung to him, her hands sliding over his hard muscular shoulders and resting on the corded muscles of his neck. She was unaware of the time or place, oblivious to right or wrong, or if she would regret her actions later. This was Jake, the man she’d loved so deeply once. There was a natural awareness between them that wasn’t to be denied.
His hands slid down her body, stroking her, touching her thighs, then returning with sweet torture to her breasts. She reveled in his embrace and the pleasurable memories it provoked.
His mouth devoured hers as he began to unbutton her shirt. Then his hand was inside her blouse, touching her skin, and she arched against it and moaned into his mouth.
Catherine kissed him back hungrily. It had been forever since she’d felt this kind of emotional release, this closeness to another human being.
She’d loved this man once, deeply, and she let herself relive her feelings for him. Touching him, stroking his chest and reaching for the buttons of his shirt. She undid them one by one, then ran her hand over his bare skin.
“Ah, Catie,” Jake whispered, then closed his mouth over hers again. In seconds he had her blouse and bra off, then reached for the button to her pants. He slid his hands inside, grasping her buttocks, stroking her, sending a scorching heat racing through her.
“Jake.” His lips found her nipple and closed over it, sucking her. She lifted her hips, and his hands slid her pants down.
In a flurry of action, Catherine had his shirt off, and her palms stroked the soft hair on his chest, then slid down his rib cage. He sucked in a hard breath when her hands went to his belt.
“Jeez, Catie, you’d better let me do that,” he rasped, then quickly unfastened his belt and slid the zipper of his jeans down.
Catherine felt a moment of hesitation when he moved away to remove his pants and boots, but Jake came to her so quickly, pressing his mouth against hers, touching her breasts, then stroking her intimately as he lowered her to the soft carpet.
He was on top of her then, pressing his body seductively against hers. She could feel him hard and ready as he positioned himself between her thighs. His body began probing hers, gently demanding entry. Then he was inside her. Catherine caught her breath as he invaded her softness.
“Catie…ah, you’re so soft, so hot.” Jake groaned, a deep growl coming from deep inside his chest. Then he stilled. Panting, he slipped out of her, then lifted himself above her, his gaze seeking hers. “Are you using protection?” he asked, barely able to take a full breath.
Catherine nodded, assuring him she was.
Jake sighed with masculine pleasure as he entered her again, then rocked deeper, his hips provoking hers.
Catherine slid her arms around him, running her hands along his back, her nails sinking into his flesh as she felt her body begin to quiver and tighten.
“Jake, oh, Jake,” she murmured, and it sounded like a plea. Molten fire melted her bones, and she felt a huge surge of ecstasy enveloping her. Then Jake was sinking deeper into her, pushing harder and harder. Jake’s muscles tightened, and his hands cupped her buttocks as his hips rocked against hers.
And her world exploded.
Seven
Jake’s entire body felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds. Making love to Catie had taken everything out of him. All of the pent-up feelings he’d been using as a shield against her and her ability to hurt him disintegrated the moment he’d felt himself inside her. He was sure he must be crushing Catie, but he didn’t want to move away from her at that moment. She was soft and warm and pliant beneath him, and with a desperation he wasn’t able to understand, he wanted to keep her there.
Then he opened his eyes and saw the photo album. It was open to a page with a picture of Catie standing beside a man. Matthew was in the picture with them. It had been taken at a park. Matt looked to be about eight and wore a baseball uniform. Catie was handing him a bat, and the man was squatting beside Matt, talking to him. That one picture brought it all back home to Jake.
Because of Catie, he’d missed his son’s entire childhood. Jake had never had the opportunity to hear Matt’s first word, see him crawl or walk, or watch him go off to his first day at school.
How could he have forgotten that Catie had lied to him, that she’d kept his son from him for twelve years? Seeing his son with Catie and this man ripped at his insides. Jake refused to let himself think about how it made him feel to see Catie with another man.
Annoyed with Catie and with his own lack of control, Jake stiffened and rolled away from her. He got to his feet and pulled on his underwear, then his jeans. He should have been the one to teach his son how to bat, how to field a baseball. He should have been there watching his son walk and grow and learn. Seeing his son and Catie together with this stranger irritated the hell out of him.
He couldn’t bring himself to look at Catie at that moment, but in his peripheral vision he saw her jerky motions as she hurried to dress. She pulled on her flowered blouse and snatched her bra from the floor.
The silence between them was palpable. Jake figured he should say something. He just didn’t know what to say to her. He shouldn’t have let things get so far out of hand, he thought. He shouldn’t have kissed her, should never have made love to her. But he hadn’t been able to stop himself, and that knowledge left him feeling even more irritated—with his own lack of control as well as with Catie.
He’d asked her about protection because he couldn’t admit to her that he was incapable of making her pregnant. His personal life was none of her concern, and he wasn’t one to share his innermost feelings. He was glad now that he hadn’t slipped up and mentioned it to her. He still didn’t trust her, and he wasn’t going to give her a weapon to use against him.
Finally, unable to put the uncomfortable conversa
tion off a moment longer, he turned toward her, a frown deepening his brows. “Look, I’m sorry—”
“Stop,” she blurted out, interrupting him, her voice eerily calm. She didn’t quite meet his gaze. “We’re two consenting adults. These things happen. Let’s just put this behind us.”
Already she was sounding as if she regretted what had happened between them. Jake knew he did. He hadn’t meant to complicate matters like this. He wondered if she would back out of coming back to the ranch. If she did, it would be his fault.
Jake didn’t know why, but it bothered him that she could so easily explain away their intimacy. He should have felt relieved, but he didn’t. He wanted to take her again. Just thinking about her writhing beneath him made him hard.
“Yeah, that’s what we’ll do,” he replied, his tone even as he shrugged into his shirt. He left it unbuttoned. “I guess we should call it a night. We’ll be leaving early in the morning, unless you have more packing to do.”
Catie shook her head, and still she didn’t meet his gaze. “No…no, I’m finished.”
A tidal wave of relief washed over Jake. At least she was still planning to come with him to the ranch. He had jeopardized the time he’d been anxiously wanting to spend with his son. Now he was being given another chance. He would have to be more careful around Catie.
“I’ll turn in, then.”
Catie made no comment, so Jake walked toward the staircase. He hesitated, then climbed the stairs.
Catherine watched Jake’s back as he ascended the staircase. There was no way she would let him know how much he’d hurt her. The tension in her body coiled as he disappeared and she heard the door to her son’s room open. It wasn’t until he closed the door behind him that she dropped onto the sofa. She wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back and forth.
She was not going to let herself fall in love with Jake again. He’d hurt her terribly once. She’d be a fool to let him hurt her like that again.
She couldn’t believe that she’d so easily succumbed to Jake’s sexual advances. Of course when they’d been together years ago their bodies had been very attuned to each other. Catherine figured that for a few moments she’d allowed herself to go back in time.
What had happened between her and Jake wasn’t real. They’d both been carried away with memories of a period when they’d laughed and loved.
Her gaze fell to the photo album spread open on the floor and the pictures of Matthew playing Little League. So that was it, she thought. That was all it took for Jake to pull away from her and withdraw within himself.
He still blamed her, when it was his own fault for not knowing about his son. Whether he believed it or not, she’d tried several times to contact him. In the morning she’d show him the letter.
She took a deep breath, gathered herself together, then stood and switched off the lights in the room. Slowly she walked up the stairs to her bedroom. Her body was slightly sore, and would probably be more so in the morning.
Trying to ease the tension pulling at her, she took a hot bath. Long afterward she lay between cool sheets, alone in her room with thoughts of Jake sleeping nearby. It was well into the night before she fell asleep.
The ride to the airport was filled with tension, and Catherine knew Jake felt it, too. During their preparations to leave, they had barely spoken to each other. Jake had refused breakfast and made a trip to load packages on the plane. Catherine had used the time to toss perishables in the trash and ready her condo for her absence.
Jake loaded the truck with the last of the boxes while Catie made arrangements with a neighbor to keep an eye on things for her. She’d mentioned driving her car to Jake’s, but he’d insisted she wouldn’t need it. He explained that there were several ranch vehicles, and she could have free use of any of them whenever she needed.
Catherine had been relieved just to get on the road and out of her home. Every time she looked at the living room floor, she remembered Jake making love to her there. Was she never going to learn?
Once at the airport Jake transferred the last of the boxes to the airplane. After returning the truck he’d rented, he did a final check on the plane before they took off.
Catherine had waited by the plane for him to finish. She hesitated only a fraction of a moment when Jake offered her his hand to help her on board. Her heartbeat quickened as she felt his big hand grasp hers. With his other hand he touched the small of her back, giving her support, and Catherine felt her knees go weak.
She silently admonished herself for her reaction to him as she took a seat in the plane and Jake climbed in and started it.
She needed to physically and emotionally distance herself from Jake, but that was going to be hard to accomplish, since they were now on their way to his ranch where she’d agreed to live for the entire summer. She would have backed out if she hadn’t already made promises to her son.
Surely Jake had a lot of responsibilities at the ranch, and they wouldn’t be tripping over each other. Of course there were going to be times when they’d be together. At least then there would be other people around them.
Catherine would give staying at the ranch a fair chance since it was so important to Matthew. She wasn’t doing it for Jake, although she knew he had the power to make life miserable for her by trying to get custody of Matthew.
Catherine couldn’t let it come to that. After spending the summer with Matthew she hoped Jake would be reasonable about working out visitation arrangements. And if it did come down to a court battle, it would look good on her part that she’d agreed to let father and son have the summer together.
Catherine was relieved when they finally approached the ranch. She and Jake hadn’t made much conversation on the trip. Obviously he was regretting their intimacy as much as she was. Well, that was okay with her. It let her know where he stood. She was all for being polite and distant with Jake. She just hoped her heart was going to follow the rules.
Jake radioed ahead and let Ryder know they were near arrival. Matthew was with Ryder when he drove out to meet them, and it was evident that her son had already established a kinship with his uncle.
Matthew ran to greet her and Jake, his eyes brilliant with excitement as he chatted on and on about his activities since they’d been gone. Catherine doubted that her son had even missed her. She was amazed by the change in his disposition. He acted as if feeding cattle was as interesting and fun as the games on his computer.
“Hey, son,” Jake said, smiling as he ruffled the young boy’s hair. “Sounds like you’ve been learning a lot about the ranch while we were gone.” Catherine felt her heart turn over at the way Matthew grinned up at him, he looked so happy. It was obvious he was already taking to the ranch and his new family.
“Uncle Ryder let me ride some more today,” he told them, his voice high-pitched with excitement.
Jake began unloading the cargo. He handed Matthew a box to carry. With everyone helping, it wasn’t too long before everything they’d brought was transferred to the house and into the two bedrooms Catherine and Matthew would use for the summer.
Finally left alone, Catherine stood in the middle of her room, listening to the sounds coming from the adjoining bathroom. Good heavens, how could she have forgotten that she was going to be sharing a bathroom with Jake? So much for keeping her distance, she thought.
She surveyed the boxes of clothing she’d brought. Since Ryder no longer used the room, there was plenty of space for her things. She’d given Matthew orders to unpack his belongings before he could go outside again. She thought she might as well get hers done also.
As she began to fill the dresser drawers, the commitment she’d made to stay the summer with Jake and his family hit her. It had been a long time since Catherine had felt part of a family. She hadn’t talked to her parents or sisters since she’d left school. Catherine had accepted the fact that she’d let her parents down and they didn’t want anything to do with her.
Deep down inside, though, she sti
ll felt an enormous emptiness when she thought about her two younger sisters. They would be adults now. For years after she’d left, she’d hoped to see them again one day.
Now she was here with this big, happy family. Matthew was settling in nicely, enjoying the attention and affection of new aunts, uncle and cousins. But Catherine couldn’t help feeling out of place. The strain between her and Jake wasn’t going to help things.
She finished unpacking the last box, then tossed it aside. Glancing at the clock, she realized it was nearly time to prepare dinner. Perhaps she could offer to help.
Catherine had been tossing an idea around in her head since she’d agreed to stay for the summer. She wasn’t about to sit around for weeks and not contribute in some way for her keep.
She headed out of her room and went looking for Ashley. Ryder’s wife was really nice and Catherine liked her a lot already. She found her in the den, playing with her twins.
“Hi,” Catherine said, walking into the room.
Ashley looked up from where she was sitting on the floor with the two toddlers. “Catherine, hi.” She smiled, then grabbed Michelle’s hand just before she could throw a small wooden block at her sister.
“I was wondering if I could talk to you—sometime when you’re not too busy,” she added, then realized how ridiculous that sounded. What expectant mother with twins wouldn’t be busy all the time?
“Sure.” Ashley quickly got to her feet, though she leaned backward a moment and stretched. Michelle and Melissa both crawled over and tugged on her legs. “I was just about to feed these two. Wanna help?”
Catherine gave her an answering smile. “I’d love to,” she replied.
“Great!” Ashley scooped up Michelle. “Grab Melissa, will you?” she asked, starting from the room.
“You don’t breast-feed?” Catherine followed Ashley to the kitchen.
Ashley shook her head. “I did for a while, but I stopped after I became pregnant. I was just so exhausted. Still am, for that matter.”
A Cowboy, a Bride & a Wedding Vow Page 9
