by Ava Benton
I backed away from the group, who were still enjoying their roasted meat and the beer a few of the group’s members had picked up from a store down the road, and moved in the direction of my tent.
I had to get away again. I wondered if that was how the party Vincent wanted to throw would go. I’d show up, hang around for a few minutes, then run away.
“You all right?” One of the guys slung an arm over my shoulder.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Being around a lot of people is still hard right now.”
Thanks to Jace and Cord and the grapevine of gossip, they all knew it had been a year since I was kidnapped. A year spent locked up in what amounted to solitary confinement. His face showed his sympathy.
“Understood, brother. I’ll tell anybody looking for you that you needed time to yourself.” I nodded and smiled, grateful, then fled to my tent.
The panic started spreading through my chest just the way it had when I first saw Jace and Cord coming out of the cabin. Panic, and the surety that I would fuck something up somehow.
Bradford was dead, but my secret wasn’t. How was I supposed to live with myself when Vincent was all set to treat me like the returning hero? It would be hard enough seeing him again without the entire clan around us, wishing me well, telling me how glad they were that I had survived. Grateful to have me back. When I had been so close to hurting them.
“Grant?” Daniela’s soft whisper filtered through the mesh window of the tent.
I saw her standing out there, arms wrapped around her body. She was unsure of herself. Probably wondering, should she bother me?
“Yeah,” I murmured. “I’m in here.”
“Are you all right? Do you need anything?”
Yes. I needed a lot of things. I needed absolution and the ability to forgive myself. I needed to forget. I needed to believe that going home was the right thing to do.
I couldn’t run away forever. The longer I stayed away, the more obvious it would seem that I was hiding something. I could only get away with blaming it on PTSD or whatever for so long.
“Can I come in?” she whispered when I didn’t answer her question.
“Yeah. Sure.”
She walked around to the front of the tent and unzipped it, then zipped it shut once she was inside.
The top of the tent was high enough that she didn’t have to stoop down.
“I got worried when I saw you leave,” she said, sitting cross-legged on the ground.
I wanted to warn her against getting her dress dirty but reminded myself that she had been living virtually outdoors for years. How she managed to look so perfect all the time, I would never understand.
“There was too much happening. Too many voices. Too much pressure from Jace.”
“He wants you to go home,” she observed in a low, sorrowful voice.
Or maybe I was only imagining the sorrow. I could hardly believe she wanted me to stay—even if she had kissed me like she wanted me to.
“Yeah. As soon as possible. The whole clan wants me there, including Vincent.” I snorted, shaking my head. “He wants to throw me a party. I mean, am I in hell or what?”
“What’s so bad about a party?”
I sighed. “You know.”
“Okay, so you feel guilty. That’s understandable. But you don’t need to. Not now. You didn’t go through with it.”
“But I would have. Don’t you see? I was ready to do it. I went to Chicago with the intention of doing it. If I had just had one more day, I would’ve gotten in touch with Bradford and told him everything he wanted to know.” I tapped my finger against my chest. “That’s in here. You know, that heart you believe in so much? I’m carrying that in here and I can’t let myself off the hook that easily.”
“Because you’re a good person. I knew you were a good person.”
I threw my hands into the air. “I give up. I can’t make you understand.”
Her eyes narrowed. “No. I can’t make you understand that beating yourself up is getting you nowhere.” She rose to her knees, then walked to me on them. “You’re dead set on punishing yourself, when you’ve already received all the punishment you deserve—and more. I mean, you’re pretty much set for life at this point. All your future bad deeds are already taken care of after what you went through.”
I chuckled.
She took my face in her hands and her eyes burned with a light I had never seen before—like she was still looking into the flames of the fire pit, though we were nowhere near it. “It’s over. Let it go. Get rid of it. You can’t hold onto guilt forever. I’m giving you permission to move on.”
Even though I knew it was ridiculous, her words touched my heart and lightened the heavy weight of it. I had been walking around with that weight dragging me down for weeks—even longer than that, before the kidnapping, the entire way to Chicago and throughout my stay there. For the first time since my meeting with Bradford, I felt good.
“What if Vincent finds out?” I asked.
“I don’t know Vincent, but I can guess the sort of man he is if he’s leader of an entire clan. Even so, why would he find out? Bradford’s dead and his clan is practically dissolved. They lost the war. Let the secret go with them. He never needs to find out. You know what you did was probably the wrong thing, even if you had the right reasons. And you never had the chance to tell Bradford what you found out. In the end, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“He won’t see it that way.”
“He’ll never know. Stop worrying about things that haven’t happened, that will never happen. There’s so much more to think about.”
My hands found her waist. She was still touching my face. “Like what?”
“Like the future. Like the fact that I’m kneeling here in front of you and we’re alone.” She crept closer. “Like the way I felt you watching me out there. I liked that.”
“You did?” My hands slid around to her back. “You didn’t think I was creepy?”
“No. Unless maybe I did, but I like creepy guys. I never thought about it that way.”
We both laughed quietly, trying to keep our voices down. Not like anybody would’ve heard us—the party was going strong.
I wondered if Jace and Cord would be in any condition to catch their flight by the time morning came.
I kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose. “If you like creepers, I’ll be a creeper. If you like guys who wear capes and tights, I’ll wear them.” I grimaced at the idea of tights. “Whoever you want, I’ll be.”
She gave me a smile, sighed just before our mouths met again.
This time, there wasn’t anything or anyone to stop us.
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, pressing my body to hers. She was so warm, so real. Like she came alive under my hands. The way she groaned into my mouth made me wonder at who was under that sweet, beautiful exterior. The wolf was right there under the surface—and the wolf in me responded hungrily.
“I have to confess something,” I whispered between kisses, running my hands over her back, then down until I cupped her ass. It was just as full and firm as it looked and I let my fingers sink into it.
She released a low whimper.
“What is it?” she breathed, kissing my neck, my jaw, running her fingers through my hair.
Bolts of electricity raced through me and I held her even closer, pressing my cock against her.
“I don’t know how I’ll react. I mean, now that I’m different.” I pulled away enough to look her in the eye. Hers were half-closed, and she breathed heavily through her open mouth.
Her hands slid over my shoulders, then down my arms. “I’ll take my chances.”
“Are you sure?”
“What do you think?” One of her hands cupped my already painfully erect cock. “And I think you want to find out what’ll happen. Don’t you?”
“Yes.” I covered her mouth again and thrust my tongue inside as we found our way to the ground. My hand moved up her leg, whic
h wound around my hip.
She groaned, flexing her hips up to meet me, and I stroked the silky skin of her thigh, then the soft curve of her ass. Her desperate groan made me even harder than before, and the way she tightened her leg around me made the wolf howl deep inside.
I could smell her need, coming at me in waves, all centered between her legs. I flexed my hips, driving my cock against her, and we both groaned.
“More…” she whispered as she pulled the t-shirt over my head and ran her hands over my back. “More, more, please…” Her head rolled back and forth, her breath coming out in sharp little gasps the further down her perfect body my mouth traveled.
I slid the straps of her dress over her shoulders and kissed her flawless flesh, then worked the dress down over her tits. They were perfect, too, with pert little nipples begging to feel my lips close around them.
I sucked one, then the other, tasting her sweetness and listening to the way she whimpered and sighed. Her body was like a wave under me, rolling and writhing. I could barely hold onto her. It was like riding a bull.
“What do you want?” I groaned, kissing her stomach, working the dress over her hips and down her legs.
“You… I want you…” She lifted her hips so I could peel off her panties.
I ran my hands from ankle to thigh, wanting to always remember the smoothness of her skin, the smell of her arousal as it mixed with the scent of her skin and hair. I lapped at the even softer skin between her thighs before letting my tongue slide between her swollen lips.
“Yes!” she gasped, lifting her hips, riding my face until she came with a shuddering cry that sent shivers all through me and made me harder than a rock.
The wolf in me panted and snarled and I wanted more, more, until I got everything it craved.
“I need you,” I groaned, lowering my body over hers and grinding against her.
My shorts were still in the way, but not for long—she slid them over my hips, stroking my ass the way I had stroked hers, then down my legs.
She was so hot and slick and I slid inside her tight heat without effort.
She rode me as I rode her—hard, desperately hard, breathless and straining and wild.
I told myself to be careful, to not hurt her, but that was just a small voice in the back of my head.
The rest of me wanted her harder, wanted to ride her until I broke her and she told me she would be mine forever. Because she was.
She was mine and always would be. Nobody else’s. And when she jerked her hips up in time with my thrusts and dragged her nails across my shoulders and down my back as she whispered my name again and again, I growled in response. Growled and thrust even harder.
“So good, yes…” She tightened, clenching down all around me and I thrust one more time as hard as I could before the wave crashed over both of us.
I collapsed on top of her and we held each other for what felt like years, decades, an eternity. The world moved around us—I could still hear voices outside the tent, down the path—but we stayed completely still.
I couldn’t go anywhere without her. Not after this. I would never find the same pleasure or pride or triumph with any other woman. I would never forget the taste of her skin, the way she kissed me or the sound of her voice as she whispered my name.
“You okay?” I asked, breathing heavy against her neck.
I felt her pulse racing under my mouth and kissed the spot where it throbbed hardest.
My back and shoulders stung where she had marked me—like she had claimed me as her own, the way I had claimed her.
“I’ve been less okay,” she giggled. “What do you think?”
“And it wasn’t too… I don’t know, too much?” I pushed up so I could look into her eyes, and she smiled as she shook her head.
“No. Not at all.” She stroked my cheek. “I’m a wolf, too. Remember?”
“Right. Of course.” I rolled onto my back with a heavy sigh. “You drained me. If the tent caught fire, I don’t think I could make it out.”
Her laugh was like the tinkling of bells. Like music. “You don’t have to flatter me. You already got in my panties.”
I laughed, too. “God, you’re tough.”
She leaned on my chest with a smug little look, and I ran a hand over her hair. I had never felt so good, so right. I wanted the feeling to last forever.
What if it could? An idea started forming deep in my brain. Would she? No, not so soon. It would be crazy, stupid, reckless and thoughtless. And if she broke my heart, I would deserve it for being an idiot.
But I couldn’t stop thinking about it once the idea took root.
“This is going to sound ridiculous,” I murmured.
“Try me.”
“I thought I already did.”
She slapped at my chest, but giggled. “Be serious.”
“Okay. Serious.”
My heart just about exploded, it pounded so hard.
She must have felt it under her head, but she didn’t let on.
I was almost sure she would think it was crazy, but I couldn’t help it. “I know we barely know each other. I know it’s only been a couple of weeks. But I wondered if you would come to Florida with me. You know, for good.”
8
DANIELA
“I don’t know what to do.” I looked up at my best friend. “What should I do?”
She chuckled, spreading her arms as she shrugged. “I can’t tell you what to do. You know that.”
“Yeah. I know. I wish you could, though.”
“And you would hate me if I did. You know you would.”
“Hate’s a pretty strong word…” I chewed my lip as anxiety swelled up in my chest again.
“Hey. What’s the big deal? So he asked you to go to Florida with him. I mean, Florida’s not exactly my ideal choice—bugs, humidity, whatever—but life could be a lot worse. Right?”
“Yeah, of course.”
She sat next to me on the bed. “What’s really the problem, then?”
I shook my head. There was too much happening in there to make sense of all of it. “Too soon, I guess. Doesn’t it feel too soon?”
“Hey. Don’t look at me for advice on that. It took me and Lance years to finally admit we had feelings for each other.”
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Shouldn’t it take longer than this? I could see if we knew each other better—or even if he wanted to start sharing a tent or a cabin here, with the rest of us. But asking me to go all the way to Florida when I’ve only known him for two weeks…”
“Calm down. Breathe.” She put a hand on my back and took several deep breaths with me.
She was right. I was losing it. I had to get my head back on straight.
“Remember, he told you there was no reason to leave right away. He’s not even sure if he wants to yet. Right?”
“Right.”
“You’ll have a little more time to think things through and get to know him better. Nobody’s holding a gun to your head.” She snickered. “Trust me. I know how that feels.”
I cringed. “How can you even joke about that?”
She shrugged it off. “It’s easier to joke about it than think too hard about it. Besides, if I make a joke, it’s easier to deal with.”
I didn’t know how she managed that. If a psycho held a gun to my temple, I wouldn’t be cracking jokes over it weeks later.
“I’m not sure I would know what to do down there. I mean, if things don’t work out for us.” I chewed my lip until it felt raw, then started attacking my thumbnail.
Layla gently removed my finger from between my teeth and held my hand in hers.
“Listen. Really listen. You’re a capable, smart person. I know you said you didn’t like school or do all that great in it, but that doesn’t mean you’re not smart—or that you don’t know how to take care of yourself.”
“That’s true. I can take care of myself.” I didn’t believe it, but I knew it was what she wanted me to s
ay.
“You’ll do more than fine, no matter what happens. If things don’t work out, well…” She shrugged with a sad frown. “That happens sometimes. You can always come back to us. Or, you could start a new life for yourself someplace else. But either way, you’ll be able to find something to do, some way to support yourself and start your own life. I mean, doesn’t that sound good? A life of your own.”
I had to smile when I remembered all the times I had daydreamed about my own life. Not having to live on the run, not having to look over my shoulder. A life where I could be who I was without having to hide. Ideally with other people like me, where none of us judged each other. Grant had already told me about life in his clan, how the shifters co-existed with humans. Nothing was perfect, but they were civil with each other and accepted each other’s presence for the most part.
“Yeah. That does sound good,” I admitted.
“You could still join the Everglades, if you wanted, and just go live someplace else. They have splinter groups all over the place, right? I heard they’re really big, especially on the east coast.”
“I’ve always imagined myself living in the big city,” I admitted with a shy smile. “It feels weird, saying that out loud.”
She tipped her head back and laughed. “Why?” she asked.
“Because none of those dreams ever felt real. You know? Like, what’s the point of admitting to yourself or anybody else that you want something more when there’s absolutely zero chance you’ll ever get it? So you learn to tell yourself over and over that certain things aren’t meant to happen, that just because we want something doesn’t mean we’re meant to have it. And after a while—sometimes a long, long time—you start to believe it. And it doesn’t hurt so much anymore.”
She wasn’t laughing anymore. Tears stood out in her eyes as she pulled me into a hug. “Oh, sweetie. I didn’t know you felt that way. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“It’s not the sort of thing you share with other people,” I admitted. “Now, it’s different. We’re on the other side. But back then? It was all real back then.”
“I mean, we shared a tent and you never told me what was really in your heart.” She pulled away and brushed her fingers over her cheeks. “I wish you could’ve trusted me with that. It’s a heavy load to carry.”
