by Ava Benton
“I just don’t understand, is all.” But she did keep her voice under control.
“You think I do? He explained the whole damn thing to me and I don’t have a clue what he thinks he’s going to get out of it. Revenge? On who? Beats me. Vincent? I don’t know what he thinks it’s going to accomplish. Things are better, people are happy, the clans are together. He’s insane. That’s the only explanation.”
“I don’t get it, though.” She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I mean, how did he know you were here?”
“He heard, the same as the guys did. They came looking and so did he. Everybody got lucky. Yay.” I pushed myself up on my elbows. “And they took my things from the hotel I stayed in. Including my phone, where I was putting my notes.”
“No.”
“He wants it.”
“I still don’t understand… I mean, if he wanted to find these things out, he could find them out on his own now. Right? Because the clans are together.”
“You’re thinking like a rational person—besides, I already did the legwork. Why do it himself when I already have a list of the strongest members and their families, where they live, all that?” I threw myself back again and looked up at the canvas above my head.
“There’s one more thing I don’t understand.”
“Just one?” I asked.
“What’s he going to do if you don’t give him the phone? What does he have on you?”
I should’ve known that was coming. The big question. “He was there, at the meeting with Bradford. I completely forgot about him—I guess people like him are trained to blend into the walls. Or I was so shocked by what Bradford said, I forgot everything else. Who knows?”
“He knows what Bradford blackmailed you with.”
“Right.”
She waited a minute.
I could almost taste her hesitation.
She wanted to know, she wanted it bad, but she didn’t know how to ask.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. It would mean admitting what an awful person I was. She would know, and she could never not know. She would never forget. And she would never see me the same away again. I would lose her.
“It’s not my place,” she whispered. “It’s not my place.”
“Trying to convince yourself?”
“Maybe.” She looked at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. “I’m sorry, but I can’t help wondering what was so bad that you were willing to go that far—and you’re still afraid.”
“I’m not afraid.”
“Yes. I think you are. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid.”
I hated her just then. For the briefest, most painful second, I hated her. For knowing me so well. For being able to see through me. It didn’t seem fair. I had never felt so exposed, so completely naked. No shield, no disguise. She saw right through me. I hated her for it. But the feeling went away just as fast as it flared up. It wasn’t her fault that I was such a liar.
“It’s something I’ve tried to push way deep down inside me for a long, long time,” I whispered.
I couldn’t look at her. It was easier to look up at the tent and pretend I was talking to myself. “You’ve gotta understand that when you hold something like that inside you for so long and work hard to convince yourself that nobody will ever forgive you for, you can’t just come out and tell the truth. It’s not that easy.”
“That makes sense.”
I made myself look at her again.
She waited patiently, silently.
I believed it when she said she would never force me to tell her.
It wasn’t gossip to her, and she didn’t need to know. She cared enough about me to want to help. That was all.
“I’ll tell you eventually. I promise. It’s gonna take a little more time.” I reached for her, and she didn’t flinch away.
WHEN JACE and Cord pulled in at the campsite the next morning, I was waiting for them. I had barely slept—lying there, staring up at the canvas, listening to Daniela breathing.
That was my night. That, and thinking. A lot of it.
There was no way I could ask her to be with me, build a life with me, trust me, if I didn’t start with a clean slate. That was the only way we could be really happy together. Otherwise, I’d always look over my shoulder. There would always be a wall between us.
She would feel that, and it would make her unhappy. She would pull away from me—not immediately, but over time. That was if I didn’t pull away from her. And that would be the end of us.
I wouldn’t go into the rest of my life with her if we didn’t have a chance. She was worth too much.
Jace waved as they walked over to where I stood, under a big tree that had probably grown in that spot since before there was a camp, before there were even many people in the area. I wondered how much it had seen as I leaned against its rough, cool bark. There were probably a lot of people in the past who thought they had troubles, and they were probably right. Everything was relative. Their issues were very real to them, even if they weren’t as big as what I was facing. But those people were long gone, too, and their problems went with them. Maybe they weren’t so big, after all. Maybe nothing was in the grand scheme of things.
“You look like you’re about a million miles away,” Cord said with a laugh.
“Yeah—I thought you would look a lot more, uh, relaxed this morning.” Jace winked, and the two of them elbowed each other.
I chuckled. “That doesn’t solve everything.”
“Maybe not everything, but a lot of things.” Cord grinned.
“Which is why my wife wants me home as soon as I can get there—well, one reason why,” Jace added, laughing at himself.
“Probably not a very big reason,” I muttered, and we laughed together. I felt more like myself when I laughed with them. I could almost pretend like there was nothing wrong. I would have to go back around ten years for that to be true, though.
I looked at them both, arms folded. “Did you ever get my things from the hotel back in Chicago?”
“Is that what’s on your mind?” Jace asked with a grin. “Yeah—we even brought your phone with us, left it at the motel until now.”
“Where is it?”
“In my pocket,” he replied, narrowing his eyes a little. “What’s up?”
This was it. I had a choice to make. I could go one way and keep deceiving the people who meant the most in the world to me and probably screw up the rest of my life in the process, or I could go another way and face whatever consequences came after that. Goosebumps rose up over my skin. The moment of truth.
“Don’t take the phone out,” I murmured. It suddenly hit me that there could be a bear watching. Listening. “In fact, let’s get away from here. I want to go to Lance’s cabin. I think there’s something we all need to talk about—including your father.”
“Dad?” Jace looked at Cord.
They wore identical looks of shock.
I nodded with a grimace. “Yeah. He’ll want to hear what I have to say.”
There was no going back.
13
DANIELA
I was still shoving my foot into one of my sandals as I hopped on the other foot across the campground. Once I had it in place, I ran as fast as my legs could take me over to Lance’s cabin.
Ever since Grant stuck his head in the tent and told me to get dressed and be there as soon as possible, my heart had been racing like an express train. What was happening? What was he going to do?
I reached the door and couldn’t slow myself down in time to keep from hurtling through it.
Jace and Cord were there—I felt like a clumsy, breathless oaf and wished Grant had let me know they were around.
“Hi, guys,” I gasped. Layla handed me a bottle of water with a wry smile.
“Maybe the first time I’ve ever seen you look flustered,” she whispered.
I stuck my tongue out at her.
“What’s goi
ng on?” I murmured, looking around the room.
“Is that Daniela I hear?”
I jumped and glared at the cell phone sitting on the bedside table. I had no idea it was in use.
The voice on the other end had been deep and strident.
“Yeah, that’s Daniela.” Grant looked at me, sitting on the edge of the bed in front of the phone. “Daniela, this is Vincent. He’s the leader of the Everglade clan.”
I gaped at Grant. “Nice to meet you… sort of,” I said, at a loss.
Another person he didn’t tell me would be involved. What was going on?
Vincent chuckled. “Same here. I was just telling Grant how overjoyed I am that he’s safe. It’s been a very happy couple of days since Jace first confirmed Grant’s presence in your group. I’d like to thank whoever was responsible for freeing him, not to mention keeping him safe these last two weeks. I’m glad to know he has good people around him.”
Lance cleared his throat. He looked completely at a loss—at least I wasn’t the only one wondering what the hell was going on. “It’s been a pleasure, sir.”
“Vincent, now that Daniela’s here, I want to get to business. There’s a reason I felt we should talk before I come home.”
My eyes went wide and all the breath left my body when my mouth fell open. No way. He was doing it?
I waited for him to look at me, but he didn’t. Or wouldn’t.
I wished he would, since I wanted him to know I was there to support him. I was behind him all the way.
“What’s happening?” Layla whispered.
I took her arm and shook my head just enough for her to see.
She trembled a little. I wondered why he was doing this in front of her and Lance, unless he didn’t know how to ask them to leave their own cabin.
Or maybe he was afraid Vincent would tell him not to come home and wanted to be sure there were witnesses to what happened next. Like his friends turning on him, attacking him. My blood ran cold.
“What’s the trouble?” Vincent asked. “Remember, whatever you need, I’m happy to provide it to you. Additional care, a little time away from everything—anything. Just ask and it’s yours.”
“What about forgiveness? Is forgiveness something you think you can spare?”
Our eyes met, finally, and I nodded with tears in my eyes.
He was really going to do it.
And I loved him. I knew it then—a fact, something as basic and vital as my heart beating.
He was the bravest, best man I had ever met and he had me forever.
“Forgiveness? What could I possibly have to forgive you for? It isn’t your fault you were captured,” Vincent said. But there was an edge to his voice that wasn’t there before.
I wondered if I was the only one who heard it.
Jace and Cord were too busy looking at each other and shrugging to notice, I guessed.
“No, but if I hadn’t been in Chicago, none of this would’ve happened. And I wasn’t out there for the reason I gave you.”
Silence on both ends of the call.
The cabin suddenly felt very cold.
Layla took my hand.
“What were you doing out there, then?” Vincent asked in a very measured voice. He was doing everything he could to keep himself in check, I realized.
It reminded me of the way my parents would talk to me when I was a kid and they knew I did something bad. Did he already know? Was he just waiting for Grant to tell him the truth?
Grant took a deep breath.
I wished he would look at me again. I hoped he told the whole truth, because I was starting to think Vincent was even smarter than Grant gave him credit for.
“I was a spy for Bradford Eastwing.”
Jace snarled under his breath.
Cord gasped.
Layla’s hand was a vise around mine, squeezing harder and harder.
Grant closed his eyes and exhaled—it was like watching a balloon deflate. It took him so much just to say those words.
I was proud of him.
Lance took a protective step toward Layla, standing in front of her just a little. In case all hell broke loose.
“You were a spy.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. Like he was trying to make sense of it—or only repeating what he already knew.
I couldn’t figure out which one it was.
“Yes. Or, I would’ve been if I’d had the chance to give Bradford the information he sent me out there to get.”
“Which was?”
“The names and locations of the clan’s strongest Midwest members. Specifically, where their families lived. For the sake of having leverage on those members.”
“Fucking bastard,” Cord growled.
My eyes darted over to where he and Jace stood. They both practically vibrated with rage. They would shift soon if they didn’t keep their cool.
“Cord, please,” Vincent said. His voice was stern.
Just like that, a little of the tension in the room dissolved and I could breathe again. Barely, but better than before.
“Let me guess,” Jace muttered. “The information was on your phone, which was why you asked if I had it.”
“Right, but not for the reason you’re thinking.”
“Oh? What am I thinking?” he asked.
“That I wanted to erase it.”
“Well?” he asked. The word echoed through the cabin.
He took a deep breath.
I reminded myself to breathe with him.
“Because there’s somebody else here. Somebody followed you two. He wants the information. He still wants to use it.”
“Who?” Vincent asked.
Meanwhile, both Jace and Cord went to the windows and peered outside.
Lance sat Layla down and stood by her side.
The tension was electric, crackling through the room. I was sure my hair would stand on end.
“I don’t know his name,” Grant admitted. “He was one of Bradford’s guards or something. I don’t know that for sure, either. But he was at the meeting Bradford called me to. He knew Bradford called on me to spy for him. He’s not happy about the clans merging and says there are a few others who feel the way he did. He wants to use that information, I don’t know how, exactly. He wouldn’t say.”
“The bear,” Jace growled, looking back at Grant.
He nodded miserably.
“Yeah. The bear. I had the feeling it was somebody looking for me, so I found him in the woods yesterday and we had it out. He wants the phone. I won’t give it to him. I would rather tell the truth and face the consequences than let anybody tell me what to do, ever again.”
“How could you do it in the first place?” Cord demanded.
Vincent cleared his throat.
We all waited for what he would say.
My heart was in my throat.
Would he tell his son to kill Grant? I wasn’t sure how things like this were handled in big clans like the Everglades. I looked at Layla and Lance, who were just as lost as me.
“Grant, I want to know something,” Vincent said. He sounded much calmer than I would’ve expected.
I’m not sure I would’ve been so calm if somebody had just dropped a bomb like that on me.
“What is it?” Grant asked. I dug my nails into my palms, wanting to scream.
“Why did you do it? What did he have on you? I know it had to be something serious, because I’ve known you since you were born and I know this isn’t like you. There are men in the clan who I always feel as though I have to keep an eye on because they have it in them to turn on me. Whoever waves the most money around or promises the biggest or best position in the clan is the person they’ll give their allegiance to. But not you. I’ve always wondered why you would spy for Bradford.”
I was pretty sure we all gasped at the same time.
Grant’s head snapped up and his eyes met mine. They were wide, wild. “What did you just say?” he sputtered.
“Dad, what
are you talking about?” Jace asked.
“I’m telling you I already knew what happened last year. Bradford had his spies. So did I. I knew why he sent you to Chicago.”
“But—I don’t understand—why didn’t you stop me?” Grant asked.
“Because I wanted to see if you would go through with it. Or whether you would come clean with me when you got home. If you would go to him. I would’ve stopped you before you got there, don’t get me wrong.”
“Jesus.” Grant doubled over, elbows on his knees, and buried his face in his hands.
“When you disappeared, I assumed at first that Bradford had already gone in for what he wanted from you. I assumed he killed you so you could never tell me the truth. But my spies in his clan told me the opposite. He didn’t know what happened, either, and thought I might have done the deed myself when I found out you had betrayed us. Neither of us could’ve known the truth.”
“So you both thought the other one killed him,” Jace repeated, shaking his head.
“Yes. Over time, I thought about it. I thought about it a lot. No matter what had happened, the question of why remained. Why would you do it? Your father was my best friend. I’ve thought of you as a son ever since his death, and I’ve always tried to do the right thing by you. Why would you lie to me? Risk other members of our clan?”
Grant straightened. His hands shook.
I wanted to take them in mine and hold them still. I wanted to comfort him. Out of everybody in the room, only I knew what it meant for him to tell the truth. I wished I could spare him that, but it was his life and his truth and he was the only one who could make things right.
“I don’t know how he knew,” Grant murmured just loud enough for all of us to hear. “I don’t know what made him look into the case. I really don’t.”
“What case?” Jace asked. He was still angry. Furious. But a little confused, too. Probably wondering why his father hadn’t shared the truth with him.
Lance used to act that way whenever Jordan didn’t tell him everything on his mind. The male ego, so fragile.
“The car crash,” Grant said. He sounded broken, like a little boy.
“The one with your parents?” Vincent asked.
