And just like the nurses from the hospital, they all seemed embarrassed to be recognized for their help. A hand found hers and squeezed. She looked to Elaine, the older of the women, sitting beside her in the circle.
“I fled my marriage five years ago. I left with my clothes and my books. I slept on the floor of my apartment for almost a year while I built a new life and new home one piece of furniture at a time. I understand.”
Tiana leaned forward to dip a carrot in the ranch dressing. “Mickie, the secret about most nurses? We’ve all been through something. Came out on the other side stronger and more compassionate. And nursing school is not for the weak. No one has that strength alone. We help and depend on each other.”
“Amen!” the other women chimed in.
“Thank you. Tiana, I’m serious, please get me the names of everyone who contributed so I can write thank-you notes. And if any of you need anything, please ask.”
“Well...what’s this I hear about the hot-guy farm next door?” Sally asked.
Mickie almost choked on her tea. Hot-guy farm? She shot a look at Tiana. “It’s just a cleaning service.”
“Ha! Girl, you’re being selfish, just trying to keep that hot-dish menu all to yourself,” Tiana teased. She turned to the others. “Seriously. Hot guys constantly coming and going all the time. It’s like she’s got her own personal Magic Mike show right next door.”
Sally went to the front window to peek out the curtains. “When does this show begin?” she asked.
“Not on the weekend. Josh is back in Charleston until tonight and...”
“Oh. Josh? And we know Josh’s personal schedule how?” Tiana’s eyebrows arched so high they disappeared into the curls crossing her forehead.
Mickie felt her blush go nuclear. “He sort of gave me a job.”
Tiana put a hand over her heart and shook her head hard, making her curls bounce. “Wait. Wait a minute. That gorgeous chunk of beef with those blue eyes sort of gave you a job? And you didn’t share this with me?”
“It’s just temporary. Until school starts. And, um...that’s all. He needed someone to answer the phone and make appointments and stuff.”
“Stuff?”
Mickie tried to laugh. “Weren’t you the one to tell me no men while in nursing school?”
Tried. Because merely thinking about Josh completely derailed any thoughts about no men.
“No men. Best advice ever,” Elaine said.
Sally raised her glass in a toast. “To the number-one rule—no men while in school!”
They all clinked glasses. Okay. No men. It made sense. Nursing school was difficult and the pace of classes was insane. Dating would surely interfere. But what if you just wanted a good old-fashioned roll in the hay?
“Momma! Pat! Bunny!” Ian crashed through the party supplies, brandishing a book from the box, and fell into her lap. She barely got her glass out of the way.
“That’s all the man you need, right there,” Tiana said.
Mickie brought her arms around Ian and hugged him. True. She couldn’t let herself get distracted now. Not when her goal was in sight. If not for herself, for Ian. She had to do this for him. It wasn’t his fault his mother was a fool. She couldn’t be that stupid ever again. Because it wasn’t just her now. Everything she did would impact her son.
After Sally and Elaine left, after many hugs and thanks and Ian having gone down for a nap, Mickie caught Tiana’s hand. She couldn’t continue with her lies. Not after this. “Do you need to head out now?”
“Not really. What’s up?”
“I lied to you,” she said.
Tiana put the last of the party dishes in the dishwasher and turned, wiping her hands on a towel. “Please tell me you lied about not jumping Josh’s bones and now you’re going to give me a play-by-play.”
“No. About why I’m all alone.”
Tiana went very still. “It wasn’t your parents?”
“God, no. My parents are awesome. I don’t know why I told that lie. It just came out.”
“The truth is worse?”
Mickie twisted her hands together. She dropped her eyes to the floor, unable to look at Tiana. She nodded, not trusting her voice.
Tiana held up a finger. “Hold on. I’m thinking this confession needs a wee sip of something.”
“I can’t drink in the middle of the day!” Mickie said. But even as the words left her mouth, she made a face at the prissy, shocked tone of her voice.
“Come on. All them uppity-ups having white-wine lunches and you’re saying we can’t talk some hard truth without a sip or two?”
“Mimosas. I’ve got prosecco and orange juice.”
“Deal.”
It was harder now. Now that some time had passed between her spontaneous confession and the making of drinks. As they settled down in her new living room chairs, Mickie found herself wishing she’d just kept her big mouth shut.
“Tell me,” Tiana said.
“I had to leave. Everything and everyone,” she blurted out in a whisper before she lost her nerve.
“Mmm-hmm. Why am I thinking the next words out of your mouth are going to be ‘there was this guy’?”
“Because there was. This guy. I was in my first year of college. Away from home for the first time. Naive, insecure, afraid, lonely.”
“Oh, I know this story. How bad did it get?”
“Very bad.” She dropped her voice so low Tiana had to lean forward to hear. “When I got pregnant, he wanted me to have an abortion. When I said no, he beat me bad enough to put me in the hospital and landed himself in jail for assault and battery.”
“Jesus,” Tiana whispered.
“I went back home. And somehow, no one knows how, he knew when I’d had the baby. He was out of jail, was supposed to stay away, but he came after me. I was there confidentially so my name wasn’t on the door to my room. He went from room to room looking for me. I could hear him bellowing my name.”
“Did he find you?”
“No, I took Ian and crawled into the little closet thing but he never got to my room. He pushed a nurse who tried to stop him. Security had to Taser him to get him to stop. The hospital charges were enough to put him in prison for a long time.”
“May his worthless ass rot in there. Damn, woman, I thought I was strong. What you went through? And to keep going? That’s some serious momma strength.”
Mickie wiped at her eyes and Tiana got up to sit on the chair arm and pulled her into a one-armed embrace. “I didn’t know I was going to stir up all that. I’m sorry.”
“No. I couldn’t keep lying to you. I can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen.” Mickie shook her head as she reached for a tissue to wipe her streaming eyes. “It isn’t only that. It’s what happened next. It’s why I’m here.”
“There’s more?” Tiana asked in a horrified tone.
“Not bad stuff. The nurses at the hospital got together and raised money to help me. One of the doctors was married to a lawyer and he got a judge to come to the hospital to change my name before we filed Ian’s birth certificate so it would have the new name. Then some of the other units in the hospital found out and the nurses all either gave me baby stuff or donated money. It was enough for me to get far away and start over.”
There was silence for a moment. Then, a wave of music as someone drove by, radio far too loud. Just part of life near campus. Mickie smiled, sipped her drink. Tiana leaned forward and looked at her directly.
“That’s why you want to be a nurse.”
“Partly. If I can help one person the way they helped me, maybe everything I went through will be worth it. And my labor nurse and postpartum nurses were so amazing. I want to do that.”
Moving back to her own chair, Tiana shook her head. “Labor? Postpartum?
No thank you. I have my limit, and putting my hands up there is definitely past it. Every nurse has her or his Kryptonite.” Mickie smiled at Tiana’s completely grossed-out expression.
Mickie nodded, understanding. “But you’ll look at someone in the ER with their arm hanging off,” she said, a little twist of a smile on her lips.
“That’s the beauty of nursing. Something for everyone.”
They clinked glasses.
“Plus the money’s pretty good for a single mother, huh?” Mickie asked.
“Yeah. Some people don’t think so, but let me tell you, my parents never made more than ten, maybe fifteen thousand a year between the two of them. Nursing’s going to make me very comfortable. Rich compared to where I used to be.”
Mickie sipped the makeshift mimosa and felt the weight of her secret lifting. She’d told the truth and it’d been okay. Tiana didn’t look at her any differently. She let out a long slow breath in relief. A tension she didn’t know she carried eased in her shoulders. There was an anchor on that relief, though. An anchor by the name of Wyatt Anderson. Private investigator. She’d never even really known they existed outside of movies and TV shows. Yet, not only did he exist, but he’d also gotten through adoption records to find Josh’s sister. And if that was possible...
No. You can’t think like that. It’s done. You have to stop running and start building a life.
“I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“Believe me, I understand. It’s not an easy thing to overcome, much less tell people about. Something like that... Did you get help? You know, dealing with it?”
Mickie shrugged. “Some. When I started taking college classes and had access to the infirmary, I got some medicine. For the posttraumatic stress stuff.”
“Antidepressants?”
“Yes. I’m off them now. Weaned off about a year ago, but I still have Xanax for panic attacks.”
“When was your last panic attack?”
“It’s been a while.”
“That’s a lie.”
Tiana had her there. The whole private-investigator thing had thrown her for a loop. She sipped her mimosa and sighed. “Okay. Occasionally. Not full-out panic attacks. And I’ve managed them without medication. Breathing. Meditating. Positive self talk.”
“Okay. Thank you for telling me the truth.”
“You won’t tell anyone?”
“No. But you should know Elaine left her abusive husband. There are more women like you out there than you know. It’s not your fault. It’s his.”
“I know that. But I also know now how abusers choose their victims. There is something in me that he knew he could take advantage of.”
Tiana pointed a finger at her. “And the day you know what that is and fix it? That’s the day no man will ever mess with you again.”
“Yeah,” she said. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to start probing in that particular wound. “Until then, I think I’ll follow your advice and just leave men until after nursing school.”
Tiana downed the rest of her mimosa in a gulp. “Truth.”
CHAPTER TEN
HE COULD HEAR her voice through the walls. Not clearly enough to make out the words, only the steady, sweet rhythm. By the sound of it, she was giving Ian a bath, and then she must have been reading him a bedtime story, because everything went soft and soothing, a peaceful kind of low drone. He walked into the kitchen, where he couldn’t hear it anymore. Where he didn’t picture Mickie with her hair pulled up in a ponytail, no makeup yet still beautiful, tending sweetly to her son. He pulled open the fridge and peered in. Grabbing a bottle of water, he twisted off the cap and moved restlessly to the living room. His side of the duplex was silent. Good. He liked silent.
Stretching out on the couch, he sipped the water. Setting the bottle aside, he tried to meditate. Just sit, the way he’d been taught, all those years ago, and try to clear his mind. He started by pulling in a breath, letting it sink way deep down inside him. Amazing how much the simple act of breathing could do. It could, he knew, help him let go of the thoughts vying for his attention. But he couldn’t quite let go. He was still feeling the sting of Sadie’s words. Still feeling the simmering anger in his gut that he’d hidden from Jules.
Just because Sadie had settled down, was ready to take on motherhood and marriage, now she wanted everyone to join her. He had enough to deal with, thank you very much. Like setting up a business. Like trying to figure out what he was going to do about his sister.
Kimmie. All his life, he’d told himself he only wanted to know if she was safe. Now it wasn’t enough. He wanted to talk to her, to know her. He wanted someone to belong to. A real family.
Realizing his teeth were clenched, he relaxed his jaw. Problem was she seemed so normal. And he was so...not. Maybe if he wrote to her adoptive parents? They would know if she knew. Knew about him. About their parents. Rubbing a hand across his eyes, he let out a breath. Yeah, stupid idea. They knew Kim’s past. And to have her brother show up out of the blue? It would probably scare the hell out of them. Contact Kim and throw a black shadow on her upcoming wedding? He’d be as welcome as a roach on the wedding cake.
He stood, shaking his head as if he could shake loose the thoughts. “I don’t have any answers, so shut up,” he mumbled out loud. That was the thing about meditation. It was an excellent tool, but it didn’t solve everything. Sometimes, the mind was just a mess and you just had to roll with that.
He had intended to go back to the kitchen to find something to eat. Instead, he found himself at Mickie’s back door. Hmm. Interesting. He tapped lightly on the glass and some of him—most of him—hoped that she wouldn’t hear. But after a moment, he saw a flicker of the blinds and he heard the door being unlocked.
“Hey! You made it back okay,” Mickie said. She opened the door wider, inviting him in.
He squinted at her. She looked different. Her hair was up in the ponytail just as he’d imagined. No makeup. Same walking shorts and T-shirt combo she usually wore at home. It was her smile and her eyes that were different. Brighter. Happier. More relaxed.
“How’re things going?” he asked. Looked around. There was a dining room set. That was new.
“Great! Better than great. Look.” She pointed at the dining room set. “My mentor at school arranged all this.” Her fingers closed around his hand and he let himself be pulled into the living room. “Furniture! Like a real person.”
He looked around, exquisitely aware that she’d not let go of his hand. “Your mentor gave you all this?”
“No. A bunch of the senior nursing students got together and donated different things. Isn’t that amazing?”
“Yeah. Amazing.”
She let go of his hand and moved to the center of the small living room. He flexed his fingers, rubbing the tips across the spot on his palm where her fingers had rested.
“I have not only one, but two actual chairs in which to sit.” She gestured at the chairs in a sweeping motion, as if showing off prizes on a game show. She sat with a flourish and crossed her legs at the knee. Another sweeping motion. “A table upon which to rest a beverage.”
He laughed. He had to. The transformation was incredible. He thought maybe he was looking at the real Mickie Phillips. Not the scared, worried-out-of-her-mind, stressed-out Mickie of the past few weeks.
She looked up when she heard him laugh. Her eyes went wide and she jumped to her feet, fists on her hips. “But wait. There’s more!” She flung her arm out. “A television stand.” She pointed with the other hand. “A box of books. Nursing uniforms!”
A bed? The question rose in his mind unbidden as she crossed the few steps between them. The urge to undo that ponytail and watch her hair fall around her shoulders followed the thought. She stopped in front of him and he looked down into her eyes. Happy. Her presence—the fact
that she was almost bouncing off the walls with joy—suddenly made him feel his own black cloud even more strongly. He realized she was waiting for him to say something. Uh.
He looked around. “It was really nice of them to do this.”
“I know. I love it. This is the second time a group of nurses has...” The words stopped suddenly and he looked back to her. There was a brief flicker of the old Mickie and when she met his gaze, some of her joy was gone. “So, how was your trip?”
He blinked at the rapid shift in topic. “Oh, uh. It was okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah.” She was too close. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t form a coherent thought. He should go. Home. Away from her.
Her hand was back. Fingers lightly closing on his wrist. “Josh? What’s wrong?”
“Huh?” He stepped back and shook his head to clear it. “Nothing. Tired. I should probably get back.”
He looked down as she closed her other hand around his wrist. Could she not feel that? The continuous loop of heat circling between them? With a twist of the wrist, he captured her hands and held them loosely.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Nurse Mickie,” he said, forcing a smile. “I’m fine. Just need about ten hours of sleep.”
He dropped her hands reluctantly and made his way toward the back door. She followed him. “Well, then, straight to bed with you. Nurse’s orders.”
At the door, he turned to her. “Thank you.”
She looked surprised. “For what?”
“For caring.”
Seriously? Where had that come from? Go home, Josh. You’re making a fool of yourself.
The worried frown creased her features again. “Hey.” She stopped his retreat by grabbing a fistful of his shirt. “What’s going on? And don’t say nothing. And don’t say you’re tired.”
He stared at her. Her frown disappeared as her eyebrows rose in an I’m-waiting-for-an-answer expression. What was he going to say? That he’d screwed up again? Lost his temper again? That his thoughts were racing around his brain like rats in a barrel and he couldn’t make it stop? “It’s really nothing, Mickie. I just... The visit didn’t go as planned.”
Boss on Notice Page 9
