“Thank you, Corrie, for asking me to be a sperm donor. It’s going to change both of our lives.” He closed her car door.
Now all Corrie had to do was pray she got pregnant.
Chapter Six
“Sam, it’s Corrie. I’m ovulating! I called my doctor and we’re doing the insemination tomorrow morning.”
As Sam heard the excitement in Corrie’s voice on the last night in January, he got excited, too. This is what they’d been waiting for, wasn’t it? “I’ll call Eric so he knows we’ll both be out of the office in the morning.”
“Have you told him what we’re doing?”
“Last week.” Eric had given Sam a look that said, What? You can’t get laid and you have to become a dad this way? But his partner hadn’t tried to talk Sam out of it as his dad and Nathan had. He appreciated that.
“I’m not going to be able to get any sleep tonight,” Corrie went on.
“Corrie, you know the percentages on this.” She was so determined to get pregnant, so sure that this was the way her life should go. She would be let down terribly if it didn’t happen.
“I just know this is going to work, Sam. I just know it.”
“What time do we have to be there?”
After Corrie told him, Sam insisted he’d pick her up and take her to the hospital. When he hung up the phone, he felt different somehow…as if his life were going to start in earnest now.
Corrie felt…changed somehow. Did that sensation come from the fact that she could soon be pregnant with Sam’s baby?
As she lay on the gurney, a sheet over her hospital gown, she felt such mixed emotions she didn’t know which one was at the top of the list.
Was she really doing this?
There was a light rap on the door. “Yes?” she called.
Sam opened it. “Do you want company while you’re waiting to be released?”
“Sure,” she replied brightly, but the sight of him now made her stomach jump, her heart flutter and warm tingling invade her whole body.
Pulling one of the vinyl chairs over beside the gurney, he sat on it and joked. “You know, don’t you, this would have been one hell of a lot cheaper and easier if we’d done it the old-fashioned way.”
She felt heat start at her neck and creep up. “For you maybe.”
The words had just slipped out and when she saw Sam’s expression, she wished she hadn’t said anything.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing, Sam.”
But he never accepted her evasive answers. He took her hand. “Tell me what you meant.”
“You’re going to think me really strange,” she murmured, feeling so embarrassed. But this was Sam. She could tell him anything, couldn’t she? After all, she’d told him about her father and she’d never told anyone about that.
He cocked his head and studied her. “Strange is not a word I’d use to label you.”
She realized he really meant that. Even though she was sometimes in tune with animals more than humans and lacked an active social life, Sam accepted her just as she was. That’s what she’d always liked about him—his acceptance of others.
Before she could formulate an answer to his original question, he asked, “Are you a virgin?”
She laughed a little, looked down at the sheet and pleated it between her fingers. “No. But I’ve only had sex once.”
“Once?” Although he’d suggested the possibility of virginity, he still looked surprised at her answer.
“When I was in college, I was still idealistic, maybe even a romantic. I told myself over and over again that my dad wasn’t the standard father and husband, that there was no reason that I couldn’t take a chance on love and be happy rather than miserable like my mom had been. There was a man in my chem class who was a frat guy, great-looking and always seemed to be enjoying himself no matter who he was with. He’d missed class a couple of days in a row and asked me for my notes. We started talking and he asked me out. I…guess I wasn’t your usual coed. We dated for a few months before I knew I was in love and decided to go to bed with him. In my mind, I was envisioning bridesmaids and a wedding veil. After that night, I learned the hard way that sex didn’t involve commitment.”
“What happened?” Sam prompted when she stopped.
“He didn’t call for a week. At first I thought maybe he was just busy. I called him and left a message, but he didn’t call back. That’s when I began to realize something was wrong. We’d gone into the next term by then and I didn’t have classes with him anymore. Ten days after our night together, I saw him with another girl, making out as if there was no tomorrow. I shored up my courage and talked to one of his frat brothers’ girlfriends. She told me the reason he’d dated me wasn’t that he wanted a relationship. He’d dated me because I was a challenge. Apparently I had an ‘ice maiden’ reputation and a few of his frat brothers were joking around one day saying no one could get to first base with me. He bragged that he could. And he did. I was a notch on his belt and then I was history.”
Sam lifted her hand and held it between both of his. “I can only image how your self-esteem was affected by what happened. But that guy was an absolute jerk and what he did had nothing to do with you.” He sounded as if he knew all about men and what they did.
“And how did you arrive at that conclusion?” she asked with a rueful laugh, the touch of Sam’s skin on hers bringing back memories of his kiss.
“You weren’t a woman to him, Corrie. You were a means for him to build up his reputation, a way for him to look good to his frat buddies. You’re pretty and sexy. You’re warm and funny and you care a lot. You’ve got to forget about what that guy did to you because he was the one with the problem, not you.”
After a moment of thoughtful silence, he asked, “Is that the reason you haven’t had sex again?” He pulled his hand away, and Corrie could still feel the warmth of his skin against hers.
“After that, I just felt that no man could be faithful. I mean, my mother thought my dad loved her. He married her, they had me, they kissed each other good-night, ate breakfast together every morning and then suddenly, he’s in love with someone else! I could understand that maybe two people could grow apart, but he didn’t talk about it with her. There had been no hint he was unhappy. Instead of separating, getting a divorce or even trying to put his marriage back together, he plunged into an affair.”
“Did he marry the other woman?”
“Yes. He and his mistress were together a whole year before that didn’t work out, either.”
“Did he want to get back together with your mom?”
“I don’t know. But she was so hurt, Sam, she didn’t want him anywhere around. He’d broken her trust and she could never forgive him.”
“And you saw it all.”
“I saw it all. When Mom was diagnosed with cancer, I thought maybe she and dad would make peace. But he didn’t come around and she never said she wanted him around. When he attended her funeral, I was just so angry at him…I blamed him somehow for all of it. I know that wasn’t rational.” She shook her head. “But deep down I believed that all that hurt Mom experienced just ate at her and it gave her the cancer that took her life.”
After a few moments of thoughtful silence, Sam asked, “So you and your dad haven’t made peace, either?”
“No. Avoiding him is easier than dealing with him,” she answered honestly.
Sam didn’t tell her she was wrong. He didn’t tell her she should reach out to her father. Maybe because he realized she already knew that that would be the right thing to do.
This time the silence grew long between them, and Sam stood. “I think I hear Dr. Witherspoon out there. After I take you home—”
“I’m not going home. I’m going to work. She said I could resume my normal activities.”
“Don’t you think it would be better if you just take it easy today?”
“If I go home and lie on the sofa with my legs elevated, I don’t think it will in
crease my chances of pregnancy.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, arching a brow. “Sounds like a fun afternoon to me.”
She laughed, too. When her laughter died away, she admitted, “I’m going to wait two weeks to have an official pregnancy test. I want to be sure.”
Sam didn’t have a chance to comment as the doctor pushed the door open. Dr. Witherspoon entered the room and Corrie realized that if she didn’t get pregnant, she’d be heartbroken.
Twelve days later, Corrie was checking on the morning surgical patients when she felt the first twinge of a cramp. She knew her body well. When she ducked into the bathroom a short time later, she’d gotten her period.
Holding onto the sink, she stared into the mirror. You didn’t expect this to work on the first try, did you?
Honestly, she had. It had seemed so right.
She had to tell Sam she wasn’t pregnant.
He was in his office bringing charts up to date when she rapped on the door and went in. He had changed from his scrubs back into his jeans and chambray shirt. He checked his watch.
“First patient here already for the afternoon?”
She shook her head, not wanting to just blurt out the news that she wasn’t pregnant, but not knowing how to work into it gradually. “No, no one’s here yet. I…I…got my period. I’m not pregnant.”
Rolling his chair back, he stood. “I’m sorry, Corrie. I know how much you want this.”
“I have to call Dr. Witherspoon. I want to try again. Do you?”
After a moment, he nodded. “Yes, I do.”
Coming closer to her, he clasped her shoulders. She wanted to rub her chin against the top of his hand, but the gesture would be too personal, too intimate, too more-than-friendly. For the past twelve days they’d gone their separate ways. They’d worked together but hadn’t seen each other outside of the clinic. It had almost seemed as if Sam was careful not to touch her, not to get too close. But right now, she wanted him close.
“The first time is just a trial run. Think of it that way,” he encouraged her.
She knew he was trying to help her put the procedure into perspective but she had to swallow hard and blink fast or her emotions would get the best of her.
“Oh Corrie, I know you’re disappointed.” Instead of just holding her shoulders, now he was pulling her to him, and she didn’t want to be anywhere else but right where she was—in Sam’s arms. She was almost afraid to breathe, afraid to move, because she didn’t want him to pull away.
But he did pull away. “We could both use a distraction. How would you like to go to the Valentine’s Day Dance the Ski Association is throwing.”
“The Ski Association?”
“Yeah. They just built that new social hall over on Broad Street. They’re having weekend dinners, that type of thing. Nathan has a batch of tickets to sell at the lodge.”
“I don’t know, Sam.”
“It would be good for you to get out. You’ll know Nathan and Sara.”
“I’m not a recluse,” she protested.
“No, but you put in long hours at the clinic and that doesn’t leave much time for friends and fun.”
Sam did have a point. There was only one thing that bothered her. He probably wouldn’t be asking her to go if it weren’t for this joint endeavor they were undertaking. If she hadn’t asked him to be a sperm donor, they’d still be going their separate ways and the Valentine’s Day Dance wouldn’t be part of it at all. It wasn’t going to be a real date. A real date happened when a man wanted to be with a woman because he liked her, was attracted to her, wanted to spend time with her. Sam, well, Sam was just being nice.
But if he was just being nice, would he have kissed her as he had?
Maybe they could have a good time together. In fact, maybe if she did some shopping, made an appointment with a hairdresser, maybe she could get Sam to see her as a woman, not a friend who wanted to have a baby. A real woman.
Looking into his eyes, feeling her heart jump when she did, she accepted his invitation. “I’d love to go with you to the dance.”
She thought Sam might pull her into his arms again. She thought he might even kiss her. But the cell phone on her belt started to vibrate and when she looked down at it, he did, too.
“You might as well get it,” he said gruffly. “You can take it in here if you want. I have to check my afternoon schedule.”
Before she could ask what time he was going to pick her up on Saturday night, he was gone from his office.
Taking her vibrating phone from her belt, she saw her dad’s number. An electrician, he made his own hours and apparently right now he was free. She could just let it go to voice mail, but she didn’t. She pressed the green button and said, “Hello, Dad.”
“Corrie? Are you busy?”
Her father always started off their conversations with that. He gave her an out if she wanted it. “I’m at work. The afternoon onslaught hasn’t started yet so I have a couple of minutes.” She checked her watch. It was noon. “Are you taking a lunch break?”
“Uh, I’m at home right now.”
Something in the way he said it made her ask, “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I had to run a few errands so I took the day off.”
There was a short pause. “I know how busy you are and that it’s hard for you to get away. So after thinking about it, I decided, why shouldn’t I come visit you?”
“Visit me?”
“Sure. My schedule’s free the third week in March. We could have a real visit.”
They’d never had a real visit. She wondered what this was all about. Maybe he was thinking about getting married again. “You’ll be coming alone?”
“Yes, I’ll be coming alone. As I said, I want to visit with you. If you don’t want me to stay at your place, I can get a room somewhere. It would be a vacation for me. I could drive around the area, maybe go hiking.”
“It’s the dead of winter, Dad.”
“Well, then, maybe I could learn how to cross-country ski.”
Something was up. “Do you want to tell me what this is all about?”
“It’s about me wanting to spend some time with you. I understand you have a job and a life, so you don’t have to entertain me every minute I’m there. I might even do some ice-fishing. It will give us the chance to have a few dinners together or whatever.”
She and her dad didn’t spend time together well. There were always awkward silences and a strain that had been there since she was twelve. “Are you sure this is how you want to spend your vacation?”
“I’m sure, Corrie.”
It only took a moment for her to decide the right thing to do. “All right. Of course, you’ll stay at my place. It’s silly for you to pay for a room somewhere when I have two bedrooms.”
“We can start out that way. If I get in your way, I can take a room somewhere else. I hear there’s a great lodge up there.”
“Whatever you think is best, Dad.”
Silence crept between them again until her father’s voice grew gruff. “I want to get to know you again, Corrie. That’s what I think is best.”
She didn’t have anything to say to that and when she clicked off a few minutes later, she wondered what had happened to her dad. Why had he finally decided he had to get to know his daughter?
The third week in March, she’d find out.
That evening, Corrie sorted through her closet looking for the perfect outfit for Saturday night. She pulled out a green dress with long sleeves and a flared skirt, held it in front of her and then asked Jasper, who was asleep on her bed, “What do you think?”
The dog opened one eye, lifted his head, sighed then put his nose on his paws again and went back to sleep.
“Oh, great. I guess that commentary means it’s boring.”
The truth was, almost everything in her closet was boring.
When she cast a glance down at her mostly utilitarian shoes, her doorbell rang. Seven-thirty on a Friday
night. Who could that be?
Jasper perked up at the sound of the bell, jumped off the bed and went running down the steps to the living room. The dress was boring, but a guest wasn’t. While Jasper barked, Corrie checked the peephole. To her surprise, she recognized Colin Bancroft—Shirley Klinedinst’s lawyer.
Before she opened the door, she pointed her finger at Jasper and said, “Stay.” He cocked his head but obeyed. When she opened it, Mr. Bancroft smiled at her.
“Miss Edwards. I hope I’m not disturbing you.”
Colin Bancroft was in his early sixties and had always been very formal and polite with her.
“No, you’re not disturbing me. Is something wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to see how Jasper was.”
“Come on in.”
Once Mr. Bancroft was inside and the door closed, Jasper ran around him in circles, barking and greeting him. When the lawyer stooped down to pet him, Jasper licked his face.
“I can see you’re healthy and happy.” Jasper licked his face again and he laughed.
As Bancroft straightened, Corrie asked, “Can I get you a cup of coffee or tea?”
“No, nothing for me. But I have something for you.” He motioned to her sofa. “May we sit?” He was carrying his briefcase.
Once they were seated, he opened it on his lap and took out a sheaf of papers. Jasper climbed up beside Corrie and settled in. She petted the dog while she watched Mr. Bancroft.
“Have you found a permanent home for Jasper?” she asked. Actually, she’d be sad if he had. She and the dog had bonded and it would be terribly hard to give him up. She could see that now. Maybe she hadn’t spoken up soon enough.
“No. And I haven’t for a very good reason. The past few weeks since you’ve cared for Jasper have been a test.”
“A test?”
“Let me start at the beginning. Mrs. Klinedinst wasn’t exactly what she seemed.”
“I don’t understand.”
The Daddy Plan Page 8
