“Corrie, that’s not it at all!”
“Are you still in love with her?”
“No.”
His answer was quick, but Corrie wondered if it had come too fast. “That’s what it looks like. From where I was sitting, you seemed upset and maybe that’s because you still want to be with her.”
“I can never be with Alicia again. I can never trust her.”
There was such pain in Sam’s eyes that Corrie suggested, “Why don’t we sit?”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “This isn’t something I want to talk about.”
“Maybe you don’t want to, but maybe you should. If Alicia upsets you that strongly—”
“It’s not Alicia. It’s what she did.”
Reluctantly he crossed to the sofa and sat beside the dog. Absently, he settled his big gentle hand on the dog’s head, then leaned against the back cushion. He was definitely wrestling with something that had happened between him and Alicia, and Corrie wanted to know what that was.
Perching on the sofa beside him, she asked, “Who broke it off?”
He looked straight ahead. “I did.”
“Was she unfaithful?”
“I could have handled that a lot better. Not that we’d still be together if she had been.”
“What happened?” Corrie prompted gently.
Pulling open his tie, he swung his attention back to Corrie. “She had an abortion and didn’t tell me.”
A small gasp escaped Corrie’s lips. “Oh, Sam! I’m sorry.”
“She didn’t even tell me she was pregnant. One day when I got home there was a call on the answering machine from her doctor to make a follow-up appointment. I knew it was her gynecologist and I wanted to know what kind of follow-up it was. When I confronted her, she told me.”
“She didn’t want children?”
“There are a few ways to look at this—she didn’t want children, she didn’t want my children or she didn’t want a child now.”
“But you were engaged. Had you talked about it?”
“We’d talked about it, but apparently I hadn’t listened well enough. I heard what I wanted to hear. When I brought it up she’d say, ‘We’ll discuss it again after we’re married’ or she’d tell me we needed a few years to ourselves first before we considered having kids. That seemed plausible and reasonable, but I should have been more perceptive. I should have explored why she didn’t want to have kids right away. Maybe then I would have found out she didn’t know if she wanted to have them at all.”
No wonder Sam had taken the opportunity to be her sperm donor. He wanted to be a dad and he saw this as a way to do it. “Did Alicia know you were going to be there tonight?”
“She’s friends with one of the members on the planning committee. He had a list of the people who’d bought tickets. She didn’t even try to hide the fact she came on purpose to see me.”
Corrie guessed where that was going to lead. Alicia wanted to get back together with Sam. “Did you talk about what happened?”
“No. We made polite conversation. I didn’t want to get into anything on the dance floor. I didn’t want to get into anything…period. I think she sensed that.”
Corrie understood about not wanting to confront the pain that hurt worst. That’s why she avoided deep conversation with her dad. Would Sam ever get over what Alicia had done? The sense of betrayal?
Corrie and Sam were a real pair. Each of them wanted a child, but they each wanted a child independently of having a partner. Trust was a giant issue that could be a stumbling block, even to having a close friendship.
Sam took Corrie’s hand. “I’m sorry tonight blew up in my face. It wasn’t fair to you. I was having a good time, a great time, and I shouldn’t have let Alicia interfere with that.”
“I can see why she did. What happened between you isn’t something you can just slough off.”
“When you asked me to be a sperm donor, I had to really think about it. I didn’t want to do it just to salve my ego. It really was an honor—the fact that you considered me good father material. But that’s not why I said yes. I said yes because I want to be a dad even if it’s not in the usual sense.”
Jasper lifted his head, stretched and hopped down off the sofa. He trotted over to a corner table where his leash lay.
“I’d better take him out.”
“And I’d better go.”
When Sam stood, so did she. They were toe to toe, close enough that she could smell his cologne, close enough that if he leaned forward, he could kiss her.
But he didn’t. Instead, he said, “No one knows what happened with Alicia except for my family. I’d like to keep it that way.”
“Of course.”
After a long look into her eyes, he gave a short nod. She walked him to the door.
On the stoop, he reached out and touched her cheek. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Corrie.”
His words were sincere and, as Sam turned and walked away, she knew she’d irrevocably lost her heart to him.
“You want to tell me why Corrie has ignored you all week?” Eric asked the following Friday, as he took his stethoscope from around his neck and poked it into his pocket.
Sam was tempted to deny Eric’s conclusion, but he didn’t because it was true. When he walked into an exam room, Corrie didn’t stay any longer than necessary. She did what was required of her and left. She didn’t come in early. She didn’t hang around after hours. Both were unusual for her.
He knew what was at the bottom of it, but didn’t know what to do about it. “She thinks I still love Alicia.”
“I heard what happened at the Valentine’s Day dance. Alicia was never shy. That was one reason you liked her.”
The benefit or curse of a small town was that everyone knew everyone else’s business. No, Alicia hadn’t been shy about anything. Coy, maybe, but not shy. Now he wondered why that quality had been attractive. Now he simply saw it as part of her selfish attitude. She went after what she wanted no matter what the cost.
“I also heard you and Corrie were getting along quite nicely before Alicia cut in.” Eric’s smile was sly.
“Heard from whom?” Sam asked, angrily.
“I’m not going to say. So it’s true, huh?”
Eric was enjoying this just a little too much. “I’m attracted to Corrie. I’ll admit that.”
“And you’re trying to make a baby with her. One and one isn’t adding up to two. Why use artificial means?”
Hadn’t Sam entertained that same thought? “Because I’m not interested in another relationship. And Corrie? Well, she has trust issues, too. It just wouldn’t be a good idea.”
Sitting on the corner of the receptionist’s desk, Eric proclaimed, “I know just what you need.”
“I’m afraid to ask.”
“You need to come with me tonight to the Tavern.”
Patches was wagging his tail against Sam’s leg, and Sam reached down to scratch his ears. “I don’t think so.”
“This is exactly the problem, Sam. You spend your life with your dog. I understand you don’t want to get involved with a woman. So don’t. Come out with me tonight, dance, drink. Who knows? Maybe you’ll get lucky. No relationship. Just some fun.”
Since his divorce, Eric had dated woman after woman. Pretty soon, the eligible women in Rapid Creek would be exhausted and he’d have to move on to the next nearest town. That chasing-capturing-chasing-again pattern just didn’t appeal to Sam.
The back door to the clinic suddenly opened and Corrie came rushing in. When she saw them, she stopped. “Oh, hi. Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You’re not interrupting,” Eric assured her. “I’m just trying to convince Sam to come to the Tavern tonight to have some fun. Do you want to come along?”
“Uh, no. That’s okay. I just came back for some of that special food for Jasper. You know, the one with all the vitamins.”
Eric rolled his eyes. “Two people who live for their dogs
.” He stood. “As soon as I hang up my lab coat, I’m out of here. Sam, if you change your mind, meet me there. I’ll be there most of the evening watching the big-screen TV. The same goes for you, Corrie. A little excitement in your life wouldn’t hurt one bit.”
After Eric left Corrie with Sam, she avoided his gaze. Crossing to the shelf on one side of the reception area, she picked up a few cans of the dog food she’d mentioned.
“See ya,” Eric called from the hall.
After both Sam and Corrie called good-bye and the back door closed, Sam asked Corrie, “Did you really come back in here for dog food?”
She glanced at him over her shoulder. “Why else would I have come back?”
“Maybe to talk to me. You haven’t said two words all week.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“Not by much.”
“Maybe I don’t know what to say to you, Sam. Did you ever think of that?”
“You never had any trouble talking about the weather before,” he quipped, the honesty he usually appreciated in Corrie now making him uncomfortable.
“We’ve gone beyond the weather,” she insisted quietly. “Last Saturday night we were acting as if we were on a date. Then suddenly Alicia waltzes back into your life and you’re thrown for a loop. Maybe I haven’t talked to you all week because there’s a question I need to ask you. Do you still want to go through with the artificial insemination?”
He could see she was upset and trying not to show it. She was afraid he wouldn’t go through with their plans. Sam knew their second attempt would probably happen in the next week or so. He’d been thinking about it for the past few days.
Slowly, he crossed to Corrie. His hand on her shoulder, he nudged her to face him and looked into her very pretty blue eyes. “Nothing momentous happened Saturday night.”
“You should have seen your face when Alicia cut in.”
“What did you see?” he asked gently.
“I’m not sure, but something about you changed.”
“I got slapped in the face by what had happened between us. I relived all over again the moment when she told me she’d had an abortion.”
It was obvious that Corrie believed he still loved Alicia. He knew he didn’t. This was all about the child he’d lost, not the woman he’d lost, but he could say that until he was blue in the face and he still didn’t know if Corrie would believe him.
“As far as I’m concerned, nothing has changed,” he assured her. “I want my life to move forward. Part of that process is helping you get pregnant. If that happens, I’ll become a dad. Nothing would make me happier.”
She studied him for a very long time and then let out a pent-up breath. “I believe you.”
To his chagrin, Sam realized he wanted to seal their renewed bargain with something other than a handshake. He wanted to kiss Corrie Edwards until her teeth rattled. He wanted to sink his hands into that curly hair and just stay there for a while. But he didn’t do either.
Instead, he took a step back and asked, “Would you like to go to the Tavern tonight? We could get in a few dances and make up for Valentine’s Day.”
“No, I can’t,” Corrie said quickly. “I have some other things I really have to do.”
Sam guessed that wasn’t true. Corrie was determined she wasn’t going to get hurt. All she wanted was a baby.
All he wanted was to be a dad.
Then why was he so disappointed she’d said no?
Chapter Nine
“The doctor is delayed,” the smiling nurse said to Sam and Corrie as they sat waiting at the hospital. “She had two deliveries this morning, but she’ll be here shortly and then we can get started.”
As the nurse left the waiting room, Corrie glanced at Sam. She’d called him at 7:00 a.m. this morning, after she’d phoned her doctor to say that she was ovulating again. This week the tension hadn’t been quite as bad between them since their talk on Friday. She’d tried not to ignore him, which wasn’t hard because she couldn’t. But she kept her distance, because when he touched her, or she touched him, the world always tilted.
He had the power to completely disrupt her life and that was the last thing she wanted. No matter what he said, she felt he still had ties to Alicia Walker, or at least unresolved feelings for her. They weren’t finished yet. She wished they were but then she’d made lots of wishes in her life that hadn’t come true. Letting go of a love gone wrong took time. She knew that from personal experience. Sam had been ready to marry Alicia. That hurt wouldn’t go away for a while.
Unlike Alicia, Corrie didn’t want to keep secrets from Sam. She hadn’t yet told him about the lawyer’s job offer and she felt she really should. Maybe now was the best time. They were the only ones in the waiting room.
“Shirley Klinedinst’s lawyer, Colin Bancroft, came to see me.”
When Sam shifted toward her, his arm lodged against hers. “He found a home for Jasper?”
“Not exactly. I mean, he wants me to take Jasper. Apparently the first couple of weeks were a test.”
“To see if he’d be happy with you?”
“Not just that. He made me a job offer.”
Sam frowned. “What kind of job offer?”
Corrie liked being near Sam like this…talking, touching, sharing their lives. In a gray cable-knit sweater and black jeans, he was as sexy as ever today. Pulling her attention away from that train of thought, she explained, “Apparently Shirley wasn’t exactly what she seemed. She and her husband had lots of money even though no one ever knew it. She wants her house and the grounds to be turned into a shelter for homeless animals and she’d like me to run it. The salary’s amazing. If I don’t want to actually live there and take care of the animals, I have the choice of directing the facility—hiring employees, writing up the budget, running the whole organization. It would pay the same.”
“You can’t seriously be thinking about accepting the offer.”
Sam’s tone surprised her. “Why not?”
“If you have a baby, you can’t run something like that.”
“Of course, I can.”
“It would be a consuming job, Corrie, especially if you did the hands-on work. Clinic hours are tough enough. This would be day and night. You can’t be a mother and take that on, too.”
She moved and they were no longer physically connected. “Wait a minute. I thought you were a man of the new millennium. What you’re suggesting is old-fashioned prejudice.”
“No, it’s not. It’s experience talking. My mother left us to pursue a career. I know all about women who have goals other than their family.”
“You believe a woman can have a family and that’s all she can do? Really, Sam, I’m going to be a single mom. I can make ends meet on the salary your clinic pays me, but with this job, I could do a lot more.”
“What about your time?” Sam protested. “A child needs time—lots of it. Quality time is important, but quantity is, too. What would you do, hire a nanny to take care of the baby while you’re formulating a budget, hiring help and seeing to animals’ care?”
The truth was, she hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I’m not even pregnant yet, Sam. I might not get pregnant. I have to consider this.”
Sam’s eyes narrowed. “When did Shirley’s lawyer make you this offer?”
“A week and a half ago.”
His frown was backed up by the frustration in his eyes. “And you’re just telling me now?”
Why did she feel so defensive? This was her concern and her decision to make. “I wanted to consider the offer first. I have, and I like the idea of running a shelter for animals. I’d feel I was making a difference and doing something worthwhile.”
“What about going back to school?”
“I can do that eventually. With this salary I could save money for tuition quickly.”
“I still have to wonder where a baby fits into all of this.” His gaze held hers and wouldn’t let her turn away.
“Of course if I g
et pregnant, that child will be my primary focus. But having a baby doesn’t eliminate other aspirations.”
Sam didn’t look convinced. “How long do you have to make the decision?”
“I have until April first. If I don’t want to do any of it, I still keep Jasper, will receive a stipend for taking care of him and a developer will buy Shirley’s property. The rest of the money will be given to the Humane Society.”
A nurse came hurrying into the waiting room. “The doctor’s ready for you now.”
Sam looked at Corrie as if to ask, Are you sure you want to go through with this? But she was sure.
“I’m ready,” she told Sam and the nurse.
As she walked to the room where she’d undergo the second insemination procedure, she was determined to take control of her life. She wouldn’t jump into this job offer impulsively, but she would consider it seriously and do whatever was best for her, no matter what Sam thought.
Corrie unlocked the door to the clinic Saturday evening and knocked the snow from her boots before she stepped inside. Snow had been falling since late afternoon. Eric had taken off yesterday for parts unknown. Last night, Sam had checked on the animals. Tonight she was doing it.
She’d no sooner turned on the lights in the reception area when she heard the back door open.
She unzipped her parka, slid it off and threw it over a wooden bench. She was halfway to the kennel when Sam appeared. His boots were caked with snow and snowflakes nestled in his hair.
“What are you doing here?” she asked him. “It’s my turn to check on the animals.”
Ever since their second insemination attempt on Wednesday, they’d both been on edge. The conversation they’d had at the hospital hadn’t helped. She didn’t like friction between them, either on a personal level or a professional level.
Still she couldn’t help but ask, “Are you checking up on me?” He never had before, but there was a first time for everything, she supposed.
“No, I’m not checking up on you. I didn’t want you to shovel the walk. We’ve already got about five inches out there. I thought I’d take the snowblower over it. The plow will be here in the morning for the parking lot.”
The Daddy Plan Page 11
