by Dalia Wright
She hated doing this. She had always hated these sorts of events, but ever since she had been shammed it was worse. Everyone stared, everyone pointed and whispered. She could hear all their whispers too; she could hear what they called her. What they said about her.
The worst part was, she didn’t hate them for what they said. She only hated herself. The carriage slowed down to a stop. Owen was the first one out. Helen allowed his sisters to go first, and then his father stepped out, pushing past her. He didn’t wait for her, instead it was Owen standing there, holding his hand out to her.
“Allow me to assist you,” his eyes sparkled.
“Thank you.” She held her hand out to him and he helped her down.
“Now,” Owen’s father stared at them both. No, he stared at Owen. “Don’t make me go over this again. This is a group of important people. Do not do anything to embarrass me.”
“Yes father, after all, I wouldn’t want to make you feel like a fool in front of such important people. They may show their dislike for you.”
The two men stared at each other.
“Just, for one night, pretend that we all get along.”
Helen took a deep breath. She could feel the tension in the air.
“My lords,” she made sure her voice was soft and light, “come; we must not keep the party waiting.” She forced a wide smile over her lips as she reached out and took them both by the arm. She led them towards the doors. “Before either of you make a scene.” She muttered the last part, just loud enough that the two men could hear her.
Owen cleared his throat, stepping away from her as they made their entrance. No one stopped to look at them as they pushed the doors open. Helen revelled in what little time she would have left until people realized she was here. She sucked in a deep breath. I can do this. “Come,” without more than one word her husband-to-be almost dragged her off towards a group of men. Helen felt her cheeks flush as everyone stopped talking and stared at the two of them.
“There you are! We were beginning to think you may not make it.”
“I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” Her husband-to-be glanced over at her, his eyes narrowing. He cleared his throat. “The wife here took a little longer than I expected.”
Helen felt her cheeks grow a shade darker. She knew that in a group like this it wasn’t her place to speak. She was there to look pretty and that was it. She understood that and she would go along with it. She forced a smile over her lips, listening as the men talked. And talked, and talked.
Okay, maybe listening isn’t the right word. She mostly just tuned them out, and pretended to be listening. Not that any of them noticed. But when one of the men exclaimed that he would love to introduce her husband-to-be to a man who would make a great business partner, and the group of them went off, Helen found herself alone. Completely alone despite the fact that there were so many people.
She made her way towards the punch stand. She could tell people had started to notice her. She could hear them whispering about her and she hated it. She took a glass of punch without saying a word to anyone.
“M’lady,” Owen’s voice was soft against her ear, “you seem to be quite the talk of the room.”
Helen flushed deeply. What had he heard?
“Is that so?” She said.
“Has my father left you to fend for yourself already?”
“Yes, he had some business people to meet.”
“Ah, yes. Business. That is his true love. Was never my mother, or any of his children, and I doubt it will be you.”
“I never expected it to be me.” The idea of that man being in love with her almost sickened Helen. She took a sip of punch. She could tell people had started to talk about her from where she stood.
Owen’s eyes softened. “Will you be joining some friends, then?”
“I don’t have friends,” she confessed. She hadn’t meant to, but it came out before she thought much of it.
“Y-you…” He trailed off. It looked like he was trying to wrap his mind around it. “Then I guess it will be my job to keep you entertained.” His eyes sparkled as he said it, holding his hand out for her.
“Excuse me?” Helen raised an eyebrow. Before Owen could say a word she spoke again. “Do not feel like you have to keep an eye on me. I’m not new to the looks that these people will give me and I am more than capable of taking care of myself. I have had to for a long time, and that tends to give you a crash course in how to do it.”
“Please, forgive me. I didn’t mean to offend. I would very much like it if you danced with me, Helen. Please, just one dance?”
He had never used her name before. Since she had gotten here, no one had used her name. It had been a long time since someone had spoken her name except herself.
She bit her lip as he extended his hand to her.
“I only want to make sure that you’re not alone.”
She tentatively took his hand and let him lead her to the dance floor. “But tell me something, why does your father have such…”
“Hate for me? Because I do not do what he wants,” Owen answered her question as he pulled her into his embrace.
She hadn’t danced in a long time, but it didn’t seem like she had forgotten it. Within a couple of seconds, she fell into rhythm with the song.
“Do you do it to bother him?”
“Some days,” he said, his eyes sparkling.
“Other days?”
“We are just too different, and that is something that we will both have to come to live with. I hate my father, and my father hates me.”
“Y-you don’t actually believe he hates you, do you?” she asked as they danced. Sure, the two men fought often, and it seemed that they fought passionately but that didn’t mean they hated each other. Owen was his son. A father couldn’t hate a son, could he?
“I do. He has told me many times that he hates me, who I am, what I do, everything I stand for. He hates it. He hates me. And I do hate him, before you ask, more than anything in this world. He is a vile man.”
They fell silent. Helen had no clue what she was supposed to say to that. She didn’t even know how to keep her composure. She just swallowed dryly and nodded.
As the song ended Owen didn’t pull away from her, instead he pulled her closer.
“Let’s do another song.”
Helen looked around, they were being watched.
“But everyone…”
“Can stare all they like,” Owen shrugged. “What is it about you? Why don’t they like you?”
“I’m a… disgrace. Shameful, sinful.” The words were hard to admit to herself, and even harder to admit out loud.
There were a couple seconds of silence. “Then I guess we are the perfect pair, aren’t we?”
His words shocked her. Helen stared, wide eyed. She couldn’t believe was being so kind to her.
She hated the fact that he always seemed to leave her speechless, but in a way, she kind of loved it.
He pulled her closer to her as the song ended again. “Another.”
“A-are you sure? What will people think?”
“It doesn’t matter what they think. They don’t matter.”
Helen’s heart skipped a beat. Did he really think that she was worth it? Did he really think she was worth whatever stares they received? It was the best night he had had in a very long time. Mostly, he hated going to these stupid things, but tonight he didn’t mind so much. Because of her. Because this girl, this woman his age who was going to marry his old man of a father, was here dancing with him. Could he ask for more?
But she wasn’t his. And chances are she wouldn’t even look twice at him. Of course he was sure she had a reason for marrying his father, one that did not involve love. Owen was sure that his father wasn’t even capable of loving anyone, even his own mother. So it must be money. That was the only thing he could offer Helen, wasn’t it?
I can change that. He thought.
Chapter Four
A
soft knock on the door made Helen’s heart skip a beat. Her husband had long since passed out from an evening of drinking and mingling with friends, or just people he wanted to take money from. Helen wasn’t really sure, honestly. Either way she didn’t care.
The door opened softly. “Helen?” Owen’s voice.
Helen bolted up right. She stared at him, her eyes wide. “What is it?”
“Helen, I need you.” He stood in the doorway.
“What?” “Please, come with me.”
Helen slipped out of the bed without thinking. She made her way over to Owen. “What is it?” He reached out and took her hand, guiding her towards the door. “Wait,” Helen came to a stop, “tell me what’s going on. Please. I need to know.”
Helen’s brow furrowed. She wasn’t sure how she felt going out with him after everyone else was asleep. But she wanted to. She wanted to so badly. “Helen, I… I want you, I like you. I… I’ve never felt this way about someone else before.” Helen’s heart raced. She sucked in a deep breath. Maybe it was just a line, right? It’s not like he actually felt that way, did he? No. He couldn’t.
“You’re… such a unique woman. There is just something about you that makes me… I don’t even know. I don’t even understand it, honestly. I wish I did. I wish I could explain it more, but I can’t. Please, come with me. There is something I want to show you.”
Helen let him lead her from the room and down the hall. She still couldn’t believe that he had just said that to her. His fingers tangled into her as she fell into pace with him. “Owen, please explain this to me. Please.”
He sighed softly. “I wish I could. I wish I could explain to you how I feel… why I feel this way,” he sighed deeply. For a second he didn’t say anything, but even in the dark Helen could tell he was stressed. “I don’t know what it is about you; I just… want to spend time with you. I want to show you things. I want to show you who I am.” Helen’s heart did a back flip as she processed his words. Going over them again and again. She couldn’t remember the last time she had actually felt like maybe, just maybe, she had a friend. No, more.
Owen was more than a friend and she knew it, but that scared her out of her mind. His fingers tightened against hers. Helen stopped her mind racing. She was trying to take everything in but it was so hard. “Owen, I…” Owen spun to face her, his eyes locking on hers. “What is it?”
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She had so much she wanted to say but she couldn’t bring herself to say a word. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t say a word.
Owen stood there, watching her as Helen tried to use her words and say something. Even if it wasn’t useful, she just wanted to at least say something. “Owen… I… I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say,” she admitted.
“Then don’t say anything. Just come with me.”
She was shocked when they came to a stop in front of a small pub. It did not look like the kind of place someone like him would be seen, but when he stepped out, in clean clothes, it seemed like Owen had been waiting for her, she could tell that Owen was a regular there. The men greeted him with wide grins before shifting their gaze to Helen. “I don’t understand,” she whispered. “It’s alright, everything will make sense soon.” He gave her a soft smile and she totally trusted him. Then, she realized how deep she was. She didn’t just like him. She really liked him. If he asked me to… what would she say? The fact that she didn’t have an answer scared her, a lot.
“There you are!” An elderly man stepped forward. “I thought you weren’t going to join us. Heard you had some special event your father was dragging you to.”
“Yes, the duke wanted me to come to some dance with him,” Owen waved it away, “but I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”
“I see you brought a friend.” The elderly man looked her up and down, but not sexually. He held his hand out to Helen. “It’s a pleasure.” “The pleasure is mine,” Helen said, her training taking over. “You two come inside. Owen, go get changed, I’ll take care of the girl you have with you.”
Helen’s heart stopped for a fraction of a second. No. She thought. She hadn’t agreed to be separated from Owen. She didn’t trust anyone else here. She didn’t even know them, and that scared her. But she followed the man to the bar where he grabbed her a warm ale and she took a sip, more to be polite than anything else. She could feel the eyes on her.
Despite the fact her dress was simple it wasn’t hard to tell that she wasn’t like most of the people here, at least not when it came to money. Helen was from money, and even a simple dress would give that away. So, here she was with everyone staring right through her.
“Did he meet you at that ball thingy?” the elderly man asked.
“No, we already knew each other before tonight.”
“Really? You don’t say,” he made a sound of approval, “see, Owen doesn’t bring much company around here. A couple times he’s brought a girl or two over- er not that I mean-”
“It’s alright. I know exactly what kind of man Owen is.” Helen gave him a soft smile, taking another sip of the warm ale, despite the fact it was gross. “But see, miss, he doesn’t normally bring anyone here, and he seems to care quite a deal about you. The way he looks at ya….” the elderly man trailed off. She knew what he was getting at but she didn’t have an answer for him. She didn’t even know the answer herself. So she didn’t say a word, she just smiled and sipped her warm ale. “Oh, looks like he’s ready quick today, must wana’ get back to you,” the man smiled widely, looking past her.
She turned to see what he was staring at and gasped. She couldn’t believe it! Owen made his way towards a group of men, shirtless and his hair slicked back. Her mouth watered as she stared at his bare chest. She couldn’t help thinking of his touch that night when they were dancing. She hadn’t wanted to stop. He was strong, there was no doubt about that, and he held her so tightly, but she never felt trapped by him. She never felt like he would force her into anything- unlike every other man she had ever met. That was what made him different about the other men. That was what made her want to spend more time with him.
Owen stopped, glancing towards her. His eyes sparkled as he winked quickly and turned his attention back to the group of men.
Helen gasped as she watched the men separate, forming a ring around him and one other man. Oh my god. She thought, raising a hand to her mouth.
Chapter Five
“Well, that didn’t go so well, now did it?” her eyes sparkled though, she couldn’t help it. His grin was just so contagious.
“Doesn’t matter if I lost or not. I had a good time.”
“A good time?!” Helen looked the man up and down. He had to be crazy, right? He was covered in blood, most of which was his own, and he was missing a tooth. He had what was sure to be a black eye- yet he was still calling it fun? She couldn’t understand this man. But maybe that was part of what she liked so much about him. Maybe the fact that he had such an odd lifestyle was what drew her to him. Maybe it’s what draws him to me. She thought.
She looked away from his gaze as she tended to a couple of small wounds that were left as he took a sip of his ale. She glanced up at him, watching as he flicked the ashes of his cigar.
She eyed it for a fraction of a second. Her father used to smoke that brand. She’d recognise the scent anywhere. It had been something she was always around growing up. Something that, in a way, now made tears press against the corner of her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Owen whispered softly.
“Nothing,” Helen said quickly.
“Don’t lie.”
“I…” Should she tell him? “When I was younger, my father used to smoke that brand.”
“He changed?”
“No, he died.” She looked away from him. She didn’t want to see the pity. “You didn’t know?”
“No, I… I’m sorry. I didn’t or I never would have asked about him. I, my father doesn’t keep me up to date on things l
ike that, or I ignore them, I guess maybe it’s my fault. My father has always said I don’t listen well.” He gave a soft smile, putting his ale down and reaching out to touch her. His fingers traced over hers softly. “Would you like some? They are wonderful after a fight, or sex.”
Helen’s cheeks flushed as the mental image he placed her in her mind. She reached out and took the cigar from him, inhaling it. She coughed, the smoke filling her lungs.
Owen laughed softly. His fingers tranced over her cheek gently. “You’re quite the woman.” There was a pause. He looked away from her, not daring to even try and meet her gaze. “So it is the money, right?” “Yes.”
That was why she was marrying his father. Of course, it wasn’t surprising. But I have money as well. He thought. And he did. He had more than enough to support the two of them. They could easily sneak off. They could easily leave this place behind them. He wouldn’t care. He would be happy to see his father out of his life. And for this woman… it would all be worth it.
He took the cigar as she handed it back to him, but instead of putting it in his mouth he dropped it into the ashtray. He didn’t care about the fact it was less than half done. He reached out with a hand, his fingers tracing over her cheek, moving lower.
“Helen,” He had no clue what he was supposed to say. He wanted to say something romantic. Something that would make her want him. “I can’t stop thinking about that kiss.”
“Nor can I. It was… the only time I had ever felt something like that. The only time that I’ve… wanted more.” She looked away from him.
Owen’s blood rushed. He could feel himself growing. He reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her onto him. She gasped, their lips crashing together. His fingers traced over her body, quickly. He didn’t dare waste time. Then she stiffened. Owen stopped, pulling away from her. She stared at him. A soft smile spread over her lips. “I needed to know you would do that.”
Chapter Six
Helen giggled softly. No one had ever made her feel like this. No one had ever given her such pleasure. Stopping in front of her door she pressed him against the wall, their lips locking. He had made her scream, but it had been pure pleasure that caused such a reaction from her.
