by Dalia Wright
“It looks pretty cloudy over there.”
He must have noticed, too. “It does,” she agreed.
“Do you want to grab dinner and see how the weather is after that?”
“That sounds good.” Sarah hadn’t really eaten for most of the day. She had something in the morning but that had been a long time ago. Her stomach grumbled to prove to her just how hungry she was.
“How’s pizza sound?”
“Sounds perfect.” She gave him a soft smile just before they heard the first crack of thunder. Sarah’s heart skipped a beat. I hope the crops are okay, she thought to herself as Nate pulled out of the parking spot and headed down the street.
Sarah didn’t pay much attention to where he was going; after all, it wasn’t like she knew her way around the city. Instead, she kept an eye on the sky. There wasn’t much there, yet. The clouds were growing darker and darker. It’s probably best we’re not going to take that drive. In the safety of a car, Sarah wasn’t sure just how safe they would actually be, though if a tornado hit, they would be better off than if she was in a carriage. I hope Emma’s okay.
Nate pulled into a pizza place and parked. The rain drops started to fall.
“I hope you don’t mind getting a little wet.”
“Not at all.” Sarah popped her door open and dashed out into the rain before Nate had even opened his door. “Are you coming?!” she called over the wind. She hadn’t realized just how bad it was out here. How quickly the weather had changed.
Nate laughed, hopping out of the car. “You’re a wild woman!” he called over the wind as they headed for the door to the building. She just laughed, reaching for the door and pulling it open.
Nate sucked in a deep breath as he shook out his hair, heading for the counter. “Could I get a large cheese pizza, please?”
The guy behind the counter nodded and went about getting the pizza ready for them.
“It will get pretty bad out there soon,” Sarah said as she came to stand beside him, her dress already drenched.
“And then without even realizing it, everything will clear up.”
“Sounds about right,” she laughed softly as the man behind the counter brought them their pizza. He looked Sarah up and down for a fraction of a second, then rang up the total for Nate. He paid and took the box. They turned and headed for the door.
Everything went black.
“Damn,” the guy behind the counter muttered. Lights flickered and some turned back on. “Hope that didn’t scare you. We’ve got the generator running, if you’d like to stay and eat.”
“Thanks, but I think we’ll head out,” Nate said, reaching for the door. They stepped outside and headed for the car. Once safely inside, away from the wind and rain, he turned to her. “I don’t mean to put you in a situation here, but would it be alright if we headed back to my place? The weather is getting pretty rough and…”
“I understand, of course that’s fine.” What else was she supposed to say? “But… um, I’ve just got to make a quick call.” Sarah wasn’t actually forbidden from having a cell phone, she just wasn’t supposed to use it. Because she worked at the market, everyone thought it was best to make an exception. Just to be safe, and tonight was one of the nights it would be best to use it.
After calling Hanna and letting her know the plan, Sarah asked that Hanna tell the reverend. She could have just called him, but she wanted Hanna to know that she was going back to Nate’s place. That way, if anything happened, Hanna would know where she would be. The reverend didn’t like having a phone, but he did keep one in the church just to be safe. Most of the community didn’t have one, except at the shop, but that was just in case an Englisher called.
“I can take you to Hanna’s if you’d like.”
“And have to share the pizza? Nee.” She gave him a soft smile. The truth was, she liked his company. At the coffee shop he had been smart and he had made her laugh; she wanted to get to know him a little more.
Chapter 4
Nathan lived in a small house. It was very cozy inside, and despite the fact that the power was out, it was warm.
“I always keep a couple of flashlights around, just to be safe,” he said as he placed lights down on the table. Thunder cracked outside, and then came a flash of lighting so bright it lit up the room for a fraction of a second. “Looks like we got here just in time. Thank you, for not making me drive you home, I mean.”
“I wouldn’t dream of making you. Not in this weather.” Although it was still sort of light out, the room was dark enough to need the lights.
“Still, I’m sure it’s… strange… being here, in some random guy’s house. I promise, this isn’t how I pick up most girls.” He gave a nervous laugh.
“You have a lot of boxes lying around,” she said, hoping to change the subject for him.
“Yes. I’m moving.”
“But this place is so cute.”
Nate shrugged. “It’s just not home anymore.”
Sarah didn’t pry as he sat down beside her and reached for the pizza box. She had been waiting for him to open it and grab a slice before she dug in.
“Thank you, for dinner, I mean.”
“That’s not how you actually say it, though, is it?”
“What? You mean-”
“You say something other than ‘thank you,’ don’t you?”
“Yes. Danka.”
“Then why say ‘thank you’ now?”
“Because… I…” Sarah was slightly stumped. She had never been asked about this. “I use English when I’m at the market. To make things easier.” Sometimes it was off-putting to the people if she slipped up.
“But you’re not at the market.” Nate took a bite of pizza.
Sarah followed suit, filling her mouth with pizza so she could ignore his statement. Half the pizza was gone before Nate cleared his throat. “You’re ignoring my statement.”
“Jah, I am.” Sarah was careful to make careful use of her Amish words, though she wasn’t sure if it was to spite him or just because she didn’t want to be caught using English again.
“Why?”
“Why, what?”
“Why use English when you’re not at the market?”
“I find people don’t like if I don’t use English. It makes people… uneasy. I didn’t want to make you uneasy.”
Nate studied her in the dimly-lit room. His head tilted to the left. “‘Jah’… it means yes?”
“Or ‘yea’ or… well basically agreeing with something.”
“What else is different about the languages?”
Sarah stared, slightly taken aback. She wasn’t sure if it was some sort of shot at her, if he was planning to make fun of her, or if he actually wanted to know.
“Well… um, there are a few things. Like God. It’s pronounced Gott.”
“Gott.” He repeated.
“Jah,” she nodded. “And Baby is bobli.”
“Bobli.” He sounded like he thought it was ridiculous.
“Kinder-”
“Isn’t that German?”
“Both.” Sarah gave him a smile.
“What’s mom?”
“Maemm. And dad is deatt.”
Nate nodded, taking this all in. “It’s interesting. You know, Hanna never really talks about it.”
“She doesn’t like to, I don’t think. I think some of Ken’s friends have been… not so pleasant about it.”
“That’s probably not the word I would use,” Nate muttered.
Sarah stared at him. If she didn’t know better she would say he looked angry. What was it about Hanna? What were his feelings towards her? Nee, I know the answer to that. There was something going on. Sarah hadn’t planned on bringing it up, but she saw the chance. “You care about her, don’t you?”
Nate paused for a couple of seconds. Then said, “Jah, I do.”
Sarah’s heart skipped a beat. She stared at him. Was he confessing to being in love with her?
“She’s
like a sister to me. I tend to… er, get protective of her. I know she hates it, but I can’t help it.”
That answers that, Sarah thought.
“She must care about you a lot if she’s willing to let you meet me. I’ve never met any of her friends here.”
“I don’t think it occurs to her to… mix both worlds. I’ve always known she has coffee with you after the market, though.”
That shocked Sarah.
A crack of thunder made her heart skip a beat and her body jump as she spun towards the noise. Lightning hit somewhere near them, lighting up the room for a split second.
Nate laughed softly. “You’re a bit jumpy, aren’t you?”
“I’m very jumpy,” Sarah admitted. “It’s a bad habit I have, but it’s better than ignoring everything, I guess.”
“That is true.” He paused for a couple of seconds. “Are you worried about the crops?”
Sarah’s head tilted to the left. Even at the farmers’ market, not many people seemed to think about the crops. “Jah. It’s been a bad year. The weather has been crazy, and with the hail… I’m not sure how many of our crops have made it.”
“And you’re selling the crops that have made it?”
Sarah nodded. “There are repairs that need to be done. Even if we, the community, do them ourselves, we still need lumber.”
“I see, that makes sense.” He nodded softly, taking it all in. “It must be hard, though.”
“Every lifestyle has its struggles.”
“But it’s worth it to you?” Nate raised an eyebrow.
“It is,” Sarah said without having to think about it. She’d decided a long time ago that this lifestyle was worth it to her. And that was a choice she was going to stick with. She was sure of that and she was sure that she was never going to question her choice to stay with the community. Even more so now that she had Emma.
Emma would be raised well in the community, even if she didn’t have a father. Maybe some people would judge her, but most would accept her with open arms. Sarah glanced out at the sky. She bit her lip. I wish I could get home to her tonight, she thought, but she was sure there was no way she could. The storm was still bad and it probably wouldn’t clear up for a while; it would be close to midnight before it even started to - maybe.
“Are you alright? Did I say something to cross a line?”
“What? Nee,” she said quickly, his words taking her off guard.
“Oh, I just… you looked…”
Sarah shook her head. “Just thinking about home, that’s all.” She gave him a smile. She missed her daughter, though she didn’t want to admit it to him. What would he say if he knew I had a child? she wondered. She wasn’t sure she wanted to find out. If he rejected her, if he made some snide comment, she would still be stuck with him until the storm cleared up.
“Is everything okay?”
“Jah,” Sarah lied.
“Sarah.” Her heart skipped a beat when he said her name. “It doesn’t seem like everything is okay.”
“It is.” She reassured him with a wide smile and reached for another slice of pizza.
“If you say so.”
Please just drop it, she silently wished. Thankfully, he did. Sarah chewed the pizza and swallowed, focusing on the meal she was having. It wasn’t very often that she got to have pizza. It was one of the few things she loved about the English side of things.
Nate stared at the woman beside him. He was sure she was hiding something; he wasn’t going to force it out of her but he wanted to help. There was something about this woman that made him feel… something.
And that was saying a lot.
He hadn’t felt much for a long time now, and it was nice to have that feeling back. It was nice to feel. But why did it have to be her? Why did it have to be a girl like that? An Amish girl.
Why does it have to be an Amish girl? It just wasn’t fair.
“Are you dating anyone?” The question came out before he even realized it. The second he said it he felt like a moron. “Er… I mean….” How was he supposed to fix this? There was nothing he could say that wouldn’t make it worse. She stared at him, waiting to see how he could correct himself. “Courting,” he managed, though it was a lame way to end what he had meant. He hadn’t actually known what he meant to say, he’d just been hoping he could sound less moronic.
He could see her smile in the soft light. “No, I mean, nee.” She didn’t act like he had said anything stupid. No, she had just acted like it was a normal question. He was thankful for that. “Are you? Dating, I mean.”
“No.”
No? How could a man like him not be dating? He was attractive and he was nice, and he was honestly just fun to be around.
“Interesting,” was all she managed. She wasn’t sure what she actually meant to say but she wasn’t sure that that had been the right response. She took another bite of her pizza and finished the slice. She debated going for another slice and decided against it.
There was another crack of thunder and another flash of lightning that lit up the room for a fraction of a second.
The rain poured down, hitting the roof top.
Something fuzzy touched her foot. Her heart skipped a beat as she glanced down towards it. A blanket settled down on her lap.
“I, um, thought you might be cold.”
“Danka.” Sarah settled down with the blanket, sinking into the couch as she watched Nate.
He turned to her, watching her with a soft smile on his face. “Why aren’t you dating?”
“Excuse me?” Sarah stammered.
“I mean, are you crazy or something?” A smirk spread over his lips.
Sarah laughed. “No.” Some in the community might think she was crazy, but she was sure she wasn’t crazy. “I just… have complications.” She bit her lip.
“Complications?”
“Well, don’t you have any?” she challenged, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, I have lots. But we won’t get into them.” He laughed.
Sarah laughed softly.
There were a couple of seconds of silence before he spoke again. “Tell me something… well, not something… actually I guess it would be a favor to ask of you.”
“A favor?”
“Yes… I just…” A soft laugh passed through his lips. “I’d like to kiss you. May I?”
Sarah stared at him with wide eyes. “Y-you want to kiss me?”
“Yes, I mean, jah.”
Sarah’s heart did a backflip. She wanted to say yes. She’d never been kissed before. It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted to be kissed, or that she hadn’t, in her own way, tried. Of course, when she was younger she had wanted to be kissed.
People didn’t seem to realize that Amish teenagers sometimes weren’t what they read about in books. Of course, some of it was true. They all wanted to remain good, and no girl wanted anything more than for her wedding night to be magical, but that didn’t mean no one wanted to be kissed when they were younger.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“No-”
“It was a stupid question-”
“It wasn’t.” They talked over one another. Sarah took a deep breath. “I was just thinking about it. That’s all, I wanted to think about your question before answering it. I wanted to make sure it is exactly what I wanted.”
“And what is your answer? Or do you need more time to think about it?”
“Jah.”
“Yes?”
“Jah, I will let you kiss me, Nate. But that’s it. Just one kiss.”
Nate reached out and took her hand, his fingers tangled between hers. He pulled her close to him, his free hand tracing over the curves of her body, but never touching her in any way he shouldn’t.
Sarah’s heart raced. She wasn’t sure if this had been the right answer or not.
His lips touched hers softly. Warm, hot, soft. Unlike anything she had ever experienced.
Sarah’s lips moved softly, still figuri
ng out the rhythm. After a couple of seconds, she got the hang of it.
Then it was all over.
Nate pulled away from her with a smile. A flash of lightening lit up the room. Nate’s eyes sparkled as he stared at her.
“Wow,” was all she managed to say.
“Wow, indeed.” His eyes sparkled. His hand didn’t move away from hers the entire time; instead, his fingers tightened around hers. He pulled her into his arms and that was it. He just held her. Nothing more.
Not like the girls said it would be like.
Sarah rested her head against his warm chest. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Why can’t I have this? she wondered. She knew that she would probably never experience this again.
If she did, it would be years from now. Most people her age had left the community or found someone they wanted to marry.
Sarah sighed softly, closing her eyes.
Chapter 5
She woke the next morning, his arms wrapped around her and holding her tight. The light shone through the windows, letting her know that she had slept far too late, most likely. She and Nate had been up late into the night and it had been worth it. He had given her another kiss before they fell asleep, but that had been it. He hadn’t asked for more. He hadn’t tried to suggest more.
He had just held her all night.
Sarah stirred, twisting carefully to see him. His eyes were shut and his breathing deep. She stared at him, her heart racing. She hadn’t thought she could actually fall asleep with a man. An English man, no less. And he had been a perfect gentleman. Sarah slipped off the couch and headed for the kitchen.
“You’re awake,” he mumbled.
Sarah turned to see him staring at her. “Jah, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t.” He stretched as he sat up. “So, would you like to get some breakfast?”
“Nee,” Sarah said quickly. I need to get home to Emma. She probably misses me, she thought.
“Oh, okay.” Did he sound disappointed?
“It’s just… that I…” Sarah bit her lip. She wanted to tell him the truth, but what would he say about her? Would whatever they had last night be ruined? It was probably nothing to him. So did it really matter what he thought of her? “I have someone waiting for me at home,” she said before thinking about it too long.
