by Autumn Reed
Ignoring Cole and Simone, Nicholas directed all his attention on me. “Can we talk? Alone?”
Simone stood and gave me a quick shoulder hug. “I better go. Call me later. Or, better yet, come over for girls’ night? We haven’t done that in ages.”
“Sure,” I replied, only barely registering her words with Nicholas’s solemn gaze trained on me. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all, and I found myself hoping he felt like shit…just a little.
Cole disappeared a few moments later, the dogs following along, and just like that, I was alone with Nicholas.
I shifted into the corner of the couch, gathering my knees to my chest. “I saw the photos of you and Alyssa.”
He hesitated before sitting toward the opposite end of the couch. “I wish you hadn’t looked at them. None of that meant anything. It was all for show, I swear.”
“I believe it was all for show.”
Nicholas gave me a relieved smile, but it didn’t last for long.
“But I don’t believe it didn’t mean anything.”
He moved forward and tried to reach for me, but I shook my head. “No, just listen. I’ve been thinking about this…can’t stop thinking about it, actually. And I understand why you did what you did. You were trying to protect James by making it seem like you’re not actually in a scandalous relationship. You gave the press a new, much less juicy story to chase. I get it.”
Needing something to do with my hands, I pulled my hair over my shoulder and started threading my fingers through it.
“But what now, Nic? As far as I can tell, your plan hasn’t quite panned out. People are just surmising that you’re a cheater on top of the rest.”
He shifted uncomfortably on the couch. “Well, I didn’t expect the story to go away after one night.”
“So, what’s the plan? Are you going to continue fake dating Alyssa?” I choked out, not even wanting to think about it. Once was enough.
“Alyssa and I won’t need to go out like we did last night. There will be plenty of public events we can attend together between now and the primary. We’ll be photographed together. Reporters will speculate about our relationship. Simple.”
Simple? Was he serious? Nothing about this damned situation was simple.
“And when is the primary?”
“In early June.”
I could feel my anger rising, but I kept my voice steady. “That’s more than two months away. What am I supposed to do until then? Hide away like the dirty secret I apparently am?”
Nicholas scrubbed a hand over his face for at least the tenth time since he’d returned home early this morning. “I didn’t say that.”
“Yet, you’re not denying it. I get that it was difficult for me to tell people about us in the beginning, but I got past that. I thought…” I inhaled deeply, willing myself not to cry. “I thought you were past that. That all of us were.”
“This isn’t a normal situation,” he practically shouted. “This isn’t like your mother being upset that her little girl is dating three men. It’s bigger than that. Bigger than you and me.”
My blood ran cold, and I sat up straight, planting my feet on the ground. “I see. So, what you’re saying is that James’s political career is more important than my relationship with my mother. You were totally fine with my sacrifice, but when it comes to your family—sorry, your almost-family—it’s a totally different story.”
“Emma, fuck. That’s not what I meant.” He stood and walked to the patio door, staring at likely nothing. He stayed there for so long, I half-considered retreating. I could escape to Simone’s and live in my blessed bubble for one more day.
When he finally turned around, the defeated slope of his shoulders hurt more than I could fathom. That alone told me he was already done arguing. He wasn’t going to fight for me.
“What do you want me to do?”
I pushed to my feet and slipped my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. “It seems like you’ve already decided what to do. Just tell me this—what happens if James wins the primary? His reputation will be under more scrutiny than ever going into the general election.”
He glanced away and then back at me. “I don’t know. We’ll figure it out.”
“And what will you say at all of these events when reporters ask you about me? You know they will, especially with Alyssa on your arm.”
“I’ll figure something out.” Though the words were nonchalant, the clenching of his jaw told me he was anything but.
“You’ll lie.” It wasn’t a question.
His face turned to stone. “It’s politics, not personal.”
I couldn’t resist laughing at that. “Wow, that sounded a hell of a lot like something your father would say. Congratulations.”
Nicholas strode toward me in a few aggressive steps, stopping a foot in front of me. “I’m going to ignore that, because I know you’re upset. But please try to understand. I need to do this for my sister. She’s the only person in my family who actually cares about me, and I can’t abandon her now that she needs me.”
“I understand, but I can’t be your dirty little secret while you parade Alyssa around like a show pony. It makes me sick just thinking about it. I respect that you want to repair the damage done to James’s campaign, but this isn’t the way. It’s dishonest, and it’s not who I thought you were.”
He raised his hands to my cheeks and caressed them lightly. “It’s the only way, Cinderella.”
I stared into his beautiful green eyes, looking for a way out of this. Searching for evidence that he was willing to consider other options, ones that wouldn’t destroy me and what we’d built. All I found was pleading for me to come around…and that was impossible.
Lifting onto my tiptoes, I kissed his lips, savoring the feel of them while I wondered if this would be our last kiss.
“Then I guess you’re not my Prince Charming after all.”
Not allowing myself even a second to rethink what I’d just done, I grabbed my purse and laptop bag from the kitchen and strode out the front door without looking back. I half-expected Nicholas to chase after me. To beg me to reconsider. But, then again, I wasn’t all that surprised when I made my escape free and clear. He believed he was doing the right thing, and I’d done the only thing I could.
As I drove away from the townhouse, I wanted so much to be angry with him. I wanted him to see that we could have come up with a solution together. That he didn’t need to take on his family, the world, alone. But his mind was made up, and all I felt was sad. Like I’d lost something and might never find it again.
On a whim, I headed away from my apartment and didn’t stop until I’d pulled into the parking lot of the Ethel M Chocolate Factory, the site of my first official date with Nicholas. I had no idea why I was torturing myself this way, but I couldn’t seem to stop.
Bypassing the factory, I headed straight for the cactus garden. Without the twinkling holiday lights, it didn’t hold the same magic as the last time I’d been here, but it was lovely just the same. I wandered along the path, admiring the many variations of desert plants.
I kept my gaze averted from the bench where Nicholas first kissed me, but I somehow found myself drawn there anyway. When I took a seat, I allowed myself to relive that moment just once. It had been slow and hot and perfect. I remembered thinking it was the best kiss of my life, at least up until that point. I’d experienced too many amazing kisses in the months since to possibly rank them.
Now that I was sitting in the exact spot where my romance with Nicholas began, I allowed my sorrow to engulf me. Despite the events of the past day, my love for him was undeniable. I loved his stupid movie-star good looks. I loved his passion for lost causes. I loved his celebration pancakes. I even loved his desire to protect his sister, though it was causing our downfall.
Where did I go from here? This relationship with three best friends had seemed impossible from the beginning, but somehow, we’d made it work. Looking back, I could honestly say
that the month since my birthday—when I’d fully accepted our relationship—had been the happiest of my life. I’d wondered if I was crazy to start seeing the four of us, plus Snow and Ace, as a family of sorts. But even Chris had seen it.
Without Nicholas in the picture, was there even a picture left? By ending things with Nicholas, was I inherently breaking up with all three of them?
It had only been days since Shane and I confessed our feelings for each other. And I’d promised Cole I wouldn’t hurt him. How could I walk away from either of them now? But was it selfish to hang on when Nicholas was tied to them in every way except by blood?
I pushed down the panic that rose at the thought of losing not one but all three of the men I loved. There was only one thing that could make me feel better right now—chocolate. Thankfully, I was mere steps away from an entire factory of it.
Chapter 12
Walking to my first class on Monday, I was determined to ignore my broken heart and focus on school. I only had a couple months of college left, and I refused to waste them by wallowing. After I’d spent the rest of Friday with Simone, gorging on an entire box of dark chocolate cherry cordials and a bottle of wine, I holed away at my place for the weekend.
I didn’t hear from Nicholas, but Shane came over with dinner on Saturday night, and Cole showed up with Snow yesterday afternoon, using her to force me out of the apartment for a while. Neither of them said much about what happened with Nicholas. Most likely, they didn’t know what to say about it any more than I did.
When I took my seat in the lecture hall, I barely resisted rolling my eyes at my fellow students. It wasn’t like in the movies, where everyone points and laughs at the girl who has been publicly disgraced. Instead, I just felt the stares directed at me. It wasn’t everyone, by any means, but it was enough people to know that tales of Naughty Goldilocks were making the rounds on campus.
I half-expected one of the guys to ask me to join in on an orgy at his frat house, or for one of the girls to suggest I start wearing a scarlet A on my chest. But no one spoke to me directly, and I found it easier to ignore them than I expected.
Still, the day dragged on, and I debated whether to go to the Daily after school as planned. I wanted to get my required hours in early in the week so I could spend the rest of my afternoons on my project. I was so close to finishing it, I now felt compelled to push through until it was completed.
Deciding I might as well get it over with, I stopped by my favorite coffee shop for a pick-me-up. My lack of sleep over the last few nights was becoming more apparent with every hour that passed. Anticipating my first sip of mocha generated the most enthusiasm I’d felt all day, no contest. And the coffee, unlike men, did not disappoint one bit.
To my relief, things seemed pretty quiet at the newspaper office. I checked my e-mail and had a few small research assignments but nothing that would take more than an hour. I worked diligently, knowing as soon as I completed the tasks I could work on my project.
Once I checked my list of items left to do, I headed toward Andy’s cubicle. He’d seemed nice enough when I asked for the photos from the gallery opening, and I hoped he’d be willing to take mid-renovation photos of Chelsea’s office.
I found him at his desk, editing a photo. “Knock, knock,” I said to get his attention.
He spun around and stammered out, “Oh, hey. Emma, right?”
I tried not to let his awkward reaction get to me, but it was more than surprise at seeing me again. It was like he knew something about me that made him uncomfortable. If I had to wager a guess, he’d seen one of the dozens of articles written about the torrid foursome. Would this follow me forever?
“Yes. I need a photographer and was wondering if maybe you’d be willing to help me?”
He nodded, his professional mask slipping back in place. “Sure. What do you need?”
I reminded him of my assignment for the externship and told him I needed photos specifically of Chelsea’s office and then external shots of the warehouse district in general.
“It’s not just for my project. Assuming my article is up to snuff, the Daily will publish it.”
“Okay, yeah, not a problem. When do you need me?”
“I usually meet Chelsea on Wednesday afternoons. If you could meet me there this week or next, that would be great.”
He turned to his computer and opened his calendar. “Actually, I’m free this Wednesday. Does three o’clock work?”
“That’s perfect.” I gave him the address and my phone number, in case something came up.
“Morning will be better for the exterior shots, so I’ll just stop by on my own when I get a chance. Probably this weekend.”
“Thank you so much. I really appreciate this.”
He gave me a genuine smile, and my earlier anxiety fled. “You’re welcome. I’m looking forward to reading your article.”
I headed back to my tiny workspace, feeling lighter…until I bumped into Jason.
“Emma! I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Yeah, well, now that spring break is over, I wanted to get a head start on the week.”
He gave me what came off as an almost-sheepish grin. “No, I meant that I figured you’d be in hiding after the scandal broke.”
I bit back a snide retort. As a political reporter, Jason was probably one of the first to read about my relationships with Shane, Cole, and Nicholas. Still, wouldn’t a true friend show a little more discretion? Maybe even a little sympathy?
“Why? I have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
He looked like he was ready to argue but must have thought better of it. “Well, then, good luck with the remainder of your externship. I’m sorry to say I won’t be your mentor anymore after next week. I was offered a job at The California Insider.”
His smile was just a little too calculating. Smug, even. My mind whirled, and the pieces started falling into place. The California Insider was the first to publish the story about me and the Ts. Jason had been at Loft25 last week, which meant he’d seen me sitting on Nicholas’s lap. And I’d already suspected that he might have glimpsed the photo of Cole and me kissing at the gallery opening weeks ago. Since he’d met Shane—who made it more than clear he was my boyfriend—those little pieces were more than enough for someone like Jason to put the entire puzzle together.
Thanks to Simone, I knew his position here was in jeopardy, so he must have been looking for a story. A job at The California Insider in exchange for a riveting sex scandal? Gah. I was such an idiot for ever believing Jason was actually my friend.
“How long have you known that James Lowell was running for Congress?” I took a deep breath, attempting to tamp down my fury. “My boyfriends and I were being followed for days before he announced his candidacy, so you must have known.”
Jason gave me a calculating look. “You’ve always been a smart one.” Shrugging, he said, “Fine, you caught me. I heard whispers about Lowell throwing his hat in the ring, and your dirty little foursome made for the perfect exclusive.”
Ignoring his insulting quip, I asked, “Why The California Insider?”
“I tried to get my editor here to publish the story, but he refused. So I found someone who was happy to publish it and bring on a bright, shiny new reporter. I call that a win, win.”
I studied brown eyes that used to make me feel special. “Why, Jason? Is this some kind of revenge for turning you down?”
He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Conceited much? I handed over the story to secure a job. It wouldn’t have been an issue if you’d dated me instead of those three rich assholes, but whatever. Your mistake.”
What. A. Bastard. I wasn’t violent by nature, but I really wanted to punch him in his smug face.
“When is your last day at the Daily?”
“Next Wednesday.”
“Good.” I turned and called over my shoulder, “I’ll be sure to avoid coming into the office until Thursday.”
Back at my d
esk, I quickly packed up my stuff and practically sprinted from the building. I was so pissed, I didn’t know what would happen if I ran into him again. Or anyone willing to give me a hard time about my relationship status. Why was it any of their damn business?
Once in my car, I called Cole, and he answered on the first ring. “Hey, Em. You okay?”
“What are you doing right now? I just…” I gripped the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turned white. “I’m having a really terrible day, and I want to see you.”
“Of course. I’m at the club, but I can leave right now. Do you want to come over to the house?”
“No, I don’t want to run into Nic.”
He paused for a bit and then said, “Okay, I’ll pick you up at your place in an hour. Wear something to go out in.”
“Tomorrow is a school day, you know,” I teased.
Cole laughed. “I promise to get you home by curfew.”
“See you in an hour, then.”
I rushed home and got ready, grateful he was taking me out instead of allowing me to sulk at home. Knowing he would appreciate the gesture, I selected my red dress—the one I’d worn that first night at Loft25—and slipped on my red peep-toe stilettos. As ridiculous as it had been for Cole to give them to me before our first date, they made me happy every time I wore them.
Cole arrived, looking sexy in fitted gray slacks and a black dress shirt. He didn’t often dress up, but when he did, he looked as ready to hit the red carpet as Nicholas.
His eyes scanned me from head to toe, lingering on my legs. “Damn, Em. Are you trying to kill me?”
I moved close and pressed my hands to his chest. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me in this before.”
“Yeah, and every time, I end up spending the entire night imagining you naked and writhing in my arms.”
My thighs clenched together, and I started reconsidering our plan to leave the apartment. Between Chris’s visit and the…thing with Nicholas, Cole and I hadn’t been together in weeks.
