Just Look Up

by Courtney Walsh

  “Oh. Thank God. That would be terrible right now. I mean that would be terrible anytime, but especially right now.” Chloe sounded preoccupied. “Wait. You’re the hot friend. With the motorcycle.”

  “Oh, am I?” Ryan smiled. “Is Lane around?”

  Another pause.

  “Chloe?”

  “She told me not to tell anyone.” Her voice was low, quiet, as if she didn’t want the people around her to hear what she was saying.

  “Tell anyone what?” He straightened. “Is something wrong?”

  Yet another pause.

  “Chloe?”

  “She collapsed just before her presentation this morning.”

  “What?” Ryan’s stomach sank. “Is she okay?”

  “We just got to the emergency room, but it’s been a zoo. We’ve been waiting around for someone to tell us something. I think they’re going to take her back to have an MRI.”

  “Did you call her parents?”

  “No.” Chloe’s voice was firm. “And you can’t either. She was very specific. She doesn’t want anyone here. She’s convinced this is nothing and it’s more important they stay with her brother.” She hesitated. “I would never say this to her, but I think she’s really scared. Her whole right side was numb and tingly.”

  “Where are you?”

  “You can’t come here, Ryan. She’ll kill me if she finds out I told you.”

  “I won’t tell her parents.”

  He heard a sigh on the other end of the line.

  “Fine. I’ll text you the address of the hospital.”

  “Thanks.”

  “And, Ryan?” Chloe stopped him as he was about to disconnect.

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re not so annoying after all.”

  Three hours later, Ryan parked his bike outside a hospital that was much larger than Harbor Pointe’s. Chloe had texted him instructions on how to find them, and he followed signs for the ER. At least they hadn’t admitted her. He supposed that was a good thing.

  He raced through the hallway until he found the check-in desk. Seated behind it was a large woman with short hair and a sour expression.

  “I’m here to see Lane Kelley.”

  The woman didn’t look up from her computer keyboard. “Are you family?”

  “I’m a friend.”

  She eyed him. “Have a seat. I’ll let you know when you can go back.”

  Ryan doubted it, but he did as he was told. He assumed they were still at the ER, though it had already been three hours since Lane was supposedly going back for an MRI. He texted Chloe just to make sure.

  He watched the flurry of activity behind the small windows in two large doors, nursing his guilt over not calling Lane’s parents before he left. He’d promised Chloe, but if the situation was worse than she’d let on, he’d decide for himself whether that promise was worth breaking.

  He didn’t need to give them any more reasons to be upset with him.

  The doors opened slowly from the inside, and a younger woman wearing a navy-blue-and-white polka-dot dress looking like something out of a fifties movie appeared in the doorway.

  She walked over to him. “Are you Ryan Brooks?”

  He stood. “Chloe?”

  She gave him a once-over, then met his eyes. “We’ve been here forever, but I think they’re sending her home. Finally.”

  “Can I see her? Is she okay?”

  “I don’t know. The doctor told her some things she didn’t want to hear.”

  Ryan’s heart dropped. “What kind of things?”

  “Like, she’s going to have to make a serious life change. Went on a long rant about stress and the physical toll it takes on a body. I know we’re all relieved she didn’t have a stroke or something worse, but it sounds to me like this is just as serious, especially for someone like Lane.”

  Someone like Lane.

  He’d known her his whole life, but a week ago, she’d practically been a stranger. A stranger attached to a phone that kept her connected to everyone—and not really to anyone—all at the same time.

  “Does she ever rest?”

  Chloe shook her head. “It’s what she’s proud of—how hard she works. It’s like she’s got something to prove, and no matter how much she does, it’s never enough.”

  He thought about all the teasing she’d endured over the years. The nicknames, the mocking, the friends who’d turned on her, and Jasper’s betrayal. It didn’t seem far-fetched that Lane would think she had something to prove.

  She had no idea she was loved just the way she was.

  “It’s in her DNA,” Chloe continued. “And she’s been this way as long as I’ve known her.”

  “Do you think this is enough of a wake-up call for her to make some changes?”

  Chloe shook her head again, slowly. “I think she just sees this as an annoying disruption in her day.”

  Ryan sighed. She always had been thickheaded. It was part of what he loved about her.

  “I’ll take you back,” Chloe said. “Follow me.”

  They walked through the big, slow-moving doors and into the ER, past a number of small rooms with people lying on beds, waiting for explanations, treatments, answers. Knowing Lane was one of those people set something off inside him. He wanted to protect her, but he knew she’d never let him.

  Chloe led him around a corner and into a darkened room where Lane Kelley lay on a hospital bed, somehow managing to make a hospital gown look sexy.

  “Brooks?” She sat up, confusion on her face.

  This was the most impulsive thing he’d ever done. Why was he here? He hardly knew her anymore.

  And yet, seeing her like that—alone and scared, whether she admitted it or not—he knew there was nowhere else he was supposed to be.

  “What are you doing here?”

  He took a few steps into the room. “Came to see what all the fuss was about. You’ve always been pretty dramatic.”

  Lane looked at Chloe, whose eyes widened. “I’m going to leave you two alone.” She stepped out of the room.

  Lane frowned.

  “Don’t be mad at her. I called to see how your presentation went and she answered your phone. I made her tell me what happened.”

  “You called to see how my presentation went?”

  Something about the surprise in her voice made him wonder if she had a single friend. He nodded, not caring so much if she exposed his feelings. He hadn’t exactly been shy in his pursuit of her.

  Never mind that it terrified him. A relationship with Lane—it would be the kind of relationship he’d work for. He’d find a way to make sure it didn’t end.

  But a whole lot of things would have to change before that could happen, namely her seeming disinterest in him.

  Still, every once in a while, a smile, a look, a gesture gave him that little bit of hope he needed to keep from giving up.

  Lane looked away. “It was nothing, really. The doctor is filling out the paperwork to send me home. You drove all this way for nothing.”

  He sat down on the edge of the bed. “You’re right. I should’ve just texted.”

  She tried—failed—to hide her smile.

  Ryan watched as her smile faded and her head drooped. He took her hand. “You okay?”

  Her face was pale and there were dark circles under her eyes. She looked exhausted.

  But still beautiful. She had no idea how beautiful.

  “They think it was a severe migraine brought on by stress.” She closed her eyes, which looked like they could shed tears at any moment. He had a feeling she wasn’t used to showing any kind of emotion. How hard this must be for her—to appear weak, even for a moment.

  He understood. There’d been a time once when he thought he had to hold everything together too.

  “So you’ve got to make some changes.” It wasn’t a question. Someone had to drill that into her head or she’d go right back to the life she’d been living since the day she graduated from college.

/>   Before she could respond, the door opened and a tall guy wearing a suit walked in. He glanced at Ryan, then back at Lane. She pulled her hand from Ryan’s.

  “Marshall.” Lane’s expression didn’t change. “Where’ve you been?”

  “Talking with JB and Ashton’s team.”

  She turned away.

  Marshall looked at Ryan. “Could you give us a minute?”

  “He can stay,” Lane said without so much as a glance at Ryan.

  “Who are you?” Marshall took a step toward Lane.

  “Ryan Brooks.” He stood, stretched a hand out toward Marshall. “Friend of Lane’s.”

  “Friend from where?” Marshall stared at Ryan’s hand but didn’t shake it.

  “From home, Marshall. Just a friend.”

  Lane’s annoyed tone didn’t faze Marshall. “Uh-huh. Is he the reason you stopped answering my texts when you were away last week?”

  Oh, brother. This guy wasn’t only pompous; he was insecure. He was going to do this right now?

  “I’m going to wait in the hallway.” Ryan started for the door, but Lane’s hand on his arm stopped him before he could move farther.

  “No. Please stay.”

  Something about her request sat him back down, made him wish he had the right to wrap his arms around her and promise he’d stay as long as she wanted him to. Even if she wanted him to stay forever.

  CHAPTER

  24

  THERE WAS A CHANCE Marshall’s head might explode.

  Lane hated that she was in this hospital bed. She was fine. The MRI didn’t show anything out of the ordinary. Where was the doctor with the paperwork? What would happen if she just got up and left? Because the consequences of that couldn’t be worse than sitting in this room listening to whatever it was Marshall was about to say.

  That was, if he ever got back to paying attention to her instead of puffing up his chest for Ryan’s benefit.

  Maybe she’d asked Brooks to stay just to get under Marshall’s skin. Maybe she was mad that her so-called boyfriend had only now shown up at the hospital, after several hours, after everything at JB Sweet was squared away.

  Or maybe she’d asked him to stay because as soon as he walked in the door, something inside her shifted, as if somehow his being there made her feel like everything would be okay.

  It was ridiculous, of course. No one—especially not a man—could do that for her.

  But at the sight of him, everything else drifted away.

  He’d driven all that way at a moment’s notice . . . for her?

  “Lane, I need to talk to you about a few things.” Marshall directed a pointed look toward Brooks. “Private things.”

  The silence in the room was tense and awkward. Marshall wasn’t going to let this go. She glanced at Brooks, surprised how badly she didn’t want him to walk away.

  “I’ll just be in the hallway,” he said, his hand on hers. She looked up at him and felt instantly foolish. She didn’t like how very much she liked him. It scared her. She could not let herself get hurt again.

  And yet there was a protective kindness in his eyes that made her feel safe, like even if she never worked another day in her life, it didn’t matter. It wouldn’t change his opinion of her one bit.

  She nodded and Ryan left her alone with Marshall. He stood as stiff and straight as ever. “What’s going on with that guy?”

  “I told you. He’s a friend from home.”

  “A friend of your family?”

  “Yes, actually.” She didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want Marshall to chip away at feelings she hadn’t figured out for herself.

  He ran a hand over his clean-shaven chin. “Lane, up until a week ago, I didn’t even know you had brothers. I feel like you’re keeping things from me.”

  She was. She was keeping herself from him. Why? And more importantly, why didn’t she want to change that?

  After a long, silent pause, save Marshall’s fidgeting, he finally seemed to get the hint this wasn’t a topic she wanted to discuss.

  “I didn’t come here to talk about this,” he said.

  Well, thank God for that.

  “The good news is JB Sweet has landed Solar, which was surprising after everything that happened.”

  He came here to talk about work?

  “That’s great,” she said. And yet she felt sick she’d lost her chance. Sick that Miles had stolen her ideas. Sick that her breakdown had happened in front of JB Sweet, the man who ultimately decided who deserved to be the next creative director. Lane must look like such a train wreck to the Solar executives.

  She forced a smile, but as she looked at Marshall, it was as if she was seeing him for the first time. Their similarities had drawn them together, but now she couldn’t think of a single thing they had in common. The emptiness in their relationship had been magnified in the wake of this episode, and while she’d always known she didn’t risk heartbreak with Marshall—he just didn’t have that kind of hold on her—she now realized she didn’t fit with him, even casually, at all.

  He hadn’t even asked her if she was okay.

  Her eyes drifted across the room to the small vertical window in the thick hospital door. She could see Ryan leaning against the wall. He must’ve dropped everything to get there—what about his cottages, his schedule?

  Marshall had been in her life for years and he’d been standing beside her as she collapsed, but it had taken hours for him to get across town.

  “You’re happy, right?” Marshall took her hand. “About Solar? I mean, you’re a great team player, so I figured you’d be happy.”

  Lane nodded, then closed her eyes. Her head was still thick and cloudy. She didn’t want to think anymore. She just wanted to sleep.

  “Listen, I know you’re going to hate this, but JB sent me here to let you know he wants you to take a leave,” Marshall said.

  Her eyes popped open. “A leave? Why?”

  “He thinks you need it.” Marshall’s face turned sympathetic, but everything about his expression seemed phony. “After today, can you really disagree?”

  “But what about Solar? You know Miles’s presentation was full of my ideas, Marshall. That’s my account.” Her voice betrayed her, cracking under the weight of the acknowledgment.

  “I tried to tell JB that. He thought Miles really had a connection with the Solar team. Does it really matter who thought of the ideas? As long as the right person manages the personalities, it’ll all work out. We all have our place on the team, Lane.” His smile was familiar, the smile of a man with a story to sell.

  Lane watched as he stuck his hands on his hips and paced the small space next to her bed. She stilled. “You recommended Miles for the promotion, didn’t you?”

  The look on Marshall’s face was all the answer she needed. She knew, ultimately, the decision was Marshall’s.

  And he’d given it to Miles, even after Miles had presented Lane’s work as his own. Marshall didn’t care about her at all. Lane willed herself not to cry. Not now, not in front of him.

  She’d been working nonstop. She’d sacrificed sleep and food and any semblance of a social life . . . and for what?

  “Tell me one thing, Marshall.” She squared off with him, as much as she could from her hospital bed. “Did you ever have any intention of recommending me for that promotion?”

  Marshall stopped fidgeting and focused on her. “Lane, listen.” He sat on the edge of her bed. “You’re an important part of our team. I couldn’t do any of this without you—and I wouldn’t want to.”

  “Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming?”

  Marshall sighed. “Your artistic eye, your creativity—we don’t have anyone else on the team half as good. You make us all better.”

  Lane stared at him, her head still heavy—though she wasn’t sure if it was from her episode or from what Marshall was saying.

  “This is hard for me.” Marshall looked away.

  She had no pity for his predica
ment. “Just say it.”

  “I have to think about the whole team. You know that, right?”

  She didn’t respond.

  He let out a heavy sigh. “I told JB I think you’re in the best spot for your skill set right now.”

  Lane’s eyes clouded with tears she was determined not to cry. “Did you ever intend to recommend me for the promotion? Was I even considered?” She met his eyes. “Tell me the truth.”

  Marshall pressed his lips together and held her gaze. “I considered it, Lane.”

  “How long have you known I wasn’t going to get it?”

  He looked away.

  “Marshall.”

  “A couple of months.”

  A traitorous tear slipped down her cheek. “We’ve been working on Solar for more than a couple of months. You said this was my shot. You promised.”

  He stood, took a couple of steps away from her, facing the wall. “You know you do your best work when there’s something big on the line.”

  She could feel the last of the breath she’d just inhaled drain from her body. “Get out.”

  “Don’t do this, Lane.” He faced her.

  “I can’t believe I ever listened to a word you said.”

  “This is business—we are us. They’re two separate things.”

  She lifted her chin, feeling as if she were finally seeing things clearly for the first time in years. “There’s no ‘us,’ Marshall. There never should’ve been.”

  “Lane.”

  “It’s over. All of it.”

  “What do you mean, ‘all of it’?”

  “I mean you’ll have my resignation letter on your desk as soon as I get out of here.”

  As soon as she said the words, a terrible cocktail of fear laced with nervous excitement swirled around inside her. What was she saying? She’d worked for years to get where she was—and she was just going to throw it all away?

  “You’re being impulsive, Lane.”

  She glanced through the long vertical window in the door and into the hallway at the same time Ryan glanced through the opposite side. The look of concern on his face shifted something inside her. How was she supposed to feel about any of this? It was as if that one trip back to Harbor Pointe had single-handedly turned her life into something she didn’t recognize.