“On the phone with a dog breeder,” Hillary supplied. “We told him that Santa would take care of the puppy but Daddy said he thought he should make some calls just in case.”
Rapz shook his head. “Personally, I’d let the Big Guy handle it.”
Carol pinched herself. No. It wasn’t a dream. Or a nightmare. Not yet.
She dashed into the hallway and hesitated, listening for Ben’s voice. She didn’t hear him but she saw that the front door was unlocked. Without bothering to grab a jacket, she stepped out onto the front porch.
When she closed the front door behind her, Ben spun around.
His smile made Carol’s heart soar. He held the telephone in his good hand. She grinned when she saw he was wearing the sling his mother had made for him.
“Good morning,” she said. “I heard you were trying to track down a puppy.”
He nodded sheepishly. “Not having much luck though.”
“Just leave it to Santa,” Carol said.
His smile faded. “Carol, please, we don’t have to pretend that Santa is real when the kids aren’t around, okay?”
Carol stared at him, confused. “So you haven’t changed your mind about Santa Claus?”
“Well, I have, in a way. And you’re to thank for that. After we spoke last night I realized how happy the children were believing in the Santa myth. I mean, they’re little for such a short amount of time, right? Why not let them indulge in a little harmless make believe?”
Harmless make believe. She shivered.
“Let’s get you inside, you’ll freeze out here.” Ben stepped around her and opened the front door, guiding her into the foyer with a gentle hand on her back. “There, that heat feels much better.”
Except that it didn’t. Carol felt numb. “What about your book?”
“I’m shelving it for now.”
“For now?” She’d been so very stupid to assume because he deleted his files that he had decided not to write his book.
He nodded. “You made me realize how much Hillary and Patrick need me to be actually present, and I’m not when I’m holed up in my study typing away. I still think Christmas is a crock and little better than a hoax, but this year I need to focus on my children. You’ve helped me see that.” He reached out to stroke her cheek with his fingertips. “Thank you. For everything.”
Carol couldn’t think of a thing to say. Fortunately Ben didn’t seem to expect her to because he wasn’t done.
“I know I asked you to leave last night. I’m sorry, Carol. I panicked.” He took her hand and lifted it to his lips. “You’ve changed everything around here. You’ve brought the kids such happiness and you’ve brought me,” he touched his heart, “hope.”
“Hope,” she repeated dully. His word choice was ironic considering that she felt utterly hopeless right now.
“I was hoping we could talk tonight, after the party. About us.”
“Us?”
He nodded, and ran his hand through his hair, suddenly looking slightly unsure of himself. “Yes, us. You. Me. Look, I don’t want you to go. Not tonight. Not, well, not ever. But we can take it as slowly as you’d like. Just promise you’ll cancel your flight tonight.”
She nodded, but only to make this painful conversation stop.
Ben smiled. “Good. Now we’d better get into the kitchen and see what kind of mess my kids and your friends from the mall are making.”
Friends from the mall? Oh, Jolly and Rapz. So he had seen them, and obviously he’d recognized Jolly, but he must have assumed they were actors playing Santa’s helpers. Just like he refused to believe her father was anything other than a retiree with a steady seasonal gig. She watched him walk into the kitchen. His willingness to ignore the obvious fact that there were two elves in his house was proof they belonged in two separate worlds.
Carol covered her face with her hands, willing away her tears. She’d get through the party for the children’s sake. She’d act like her father’s daughter and celebrate the season with a houseful of Ben’s neighbors and co-workers.
But she wasn’t going to cancel her flight. For when the evening was all over, and the house was clean and the children asleep, she’d be on the first sleigh back to the North Pole.
Chapter Ten
“Oh, Miss Kane, isn’t this the loveliest party ever?”
Carol ruffled Hillary’s hair affectionately. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
“Daddy seems to be too, don’t you think?” Hillary asked, turning to look up at Carol. “He’s talking to those men from the newspaper and he looks very relaxed.”
“He certainly does.” Carol decided that a swift change of subject was in order, because looking at, talking about, or even thinking about Ben made her sad. “How many people have told you how lovely you look?”
“I didn’t think it was polite to count.” Hillary grinned. “Eight.”
Carol laughed and leaned down to hug the girl. When she stood she felt Ben’s gaze on her but she refused to look directly at him. She’d managed to avoid contact with him all evening. With a house full of guests it had been easy to slip out of any room he entered. Also, the fact he knew everyone present meant he’d been waylaid by someone wanting to talk to him each time he’d tried to get close to her. She turned her attention back to Hillary. “It’s been so very nice getting to know you and Patrick.”
“Why do you sound like you’re saying goodbye?” Hillary asked. Her little brow furrowed and she grabbed Carol’s hand. “You’re not leaving us, are you?”
Carol cursed her own stupidity. She’d been so wrapped up in her own heartache that she’d slipped. “No,” she lied, “of course not. And leave you with all these dirty dishes to clean up? Never.”
Mollified, Hillary went back to chatting about what the other guests were doing, saying and wearing. Carol only half listened. As sad as the thought made her, she was grateful that the elves had brought a bag of ‘forget-me’ dust that she could sprinkle over the children just before she left that night. They wouldn’t miss her, or even remember her, which would make the last few days as if they’d never happened. A lump formed in Carol’s throat and she was glad Hillary didn’t appear to want her to do anything but listen.
She glanced at her watch. Less than three hours to go.
***
Ben realized with a start that he was having a good time, as in actually enjoying himself. He lifted his beer glass and took a slow sip, savoring not only its coldness but the magic of the moment. Across the room his son was playing with two neighbor kids, and not too far away his daughter stood hand in hand with Carol. Hillary looked happy. Just good old fashioned happy. The way children should look. And he owed it all to Carol.
He tried but couldn’t catch her eye. He frowned. He’d probably scared her with his talk of having her stay forever. He didn’t blame her for being overwhelmed by hosting a party for a houseful of people she’d never met, or by his spontaneous and ill-timed confession of his feelings for her. It was scary for him too. He’d never been open with his first wife, but then he hadn’t felt the way about her that he felt about Carol. He felt sure this time. Absolutely sure they were meant to be together.
He looked down at his watch. Two hours and fifty minutes, by then he was certain the house would be empty, the children on their way to bed, and he and Carol could begin to make plans for their future.
***
“Are you sure you want to do this, Carol? There’s no going back once we sprinkle them.”
Carol nodded. “Go ahead, Jolly. We need to leave and this is easiest on the children.” She stood back from Patrick’s bed and watched as Jolly dipped her hand into the small green satin bag she’d brought from home. Jolly waved her hand over the little boy and a light fairy dusting of green and silver sparkles swirled over his head and then evaporated.
“When did we add silver?” Carol asked.
Jolly shrugged. “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask Rapz later. I haven’t worked in the Chris
tmas Magic department for almost a year now.”
Carol straightened Patrick’s blanket and blew him a kiss. He wouldn’t remember her, but she’d never forget him.
Jolly tugged at her sleeve. “We have to do the same for the girl, come on.”
They slipped across the hall into Hillary’s room. She lay curled up under her blanket, her stuffed black lab puppy in her arms. At the end of her bed her faded pink tutu lay ready for the next day. Carol reached down and ran the satin ties through her fingers. She issued a swift but fervent prayer that both children would only ever know happiness. When she opened her eyes she nodded to give Jolly the go-ahead. It was for the best that Hillary not remember the last few days. With one last lingering glance at the little girl who’d found a permanent place in her heart, Carol followed Jolly into the hallway.
“Now, how do we administer this to Mr. Scrooge?” Jolly held up the bag and looked at Carol expectantly.
“Don’t call him that.” Carol bit her lip in thought. “You know, I think it’s better if we don’t give him any.”
In answer, Jolly grabbed ahold of Carol’s arm and all but dragged her into the guest bedroom. Once the door was shut she let loose. “I knew, I knew it! You’ve got a thing for the anti-Christmas.”
“Sssh…lower your voice,” Carol said. “He’s downstairs loading the dishwasher and I don’t want him to hear us.”
“You don’t want him to forget you,” Jolly corrected her. “Carol, you need to think this through before you leave. I can go back and tell Santa that-”
But Carol didn’t let her finish the sentence. “No, Miss Know it All, you’re way off the mark. I just don’t want Ben to get a dose because then then he’ll be right back to where he was a few days ago attitude wise. So, if we want the children to have a special Christmas then we leave Ben the way he is.”
“Do you want to say good-bye to him?”
Carol shook her head. “It’s better if we just leave.” She took her suitcase in hand and pointed to the window. “If we go out this way, it’s just a short jump to the roof.”
“Lead the way,” Jolly said.
Carol lifted up the window sash and swung a leg over the sill. A blast of cold night air hit her in the face just as the realization that she wouldn’t see Ben or the children again hit her heart. She inhaled. The bite of cold in the air reminded her of home. Home. She needed to focus on where she belonged and not on where she wanted to be.
She swung her other leg over to stand on the ledge. She then tossed her suitcase above her head before she made the small leap to the rooftop, steadying herself before reaching down to help Jolly up. They only needed to wait a few moments before they heard the sound of sleigh bells approaching. When the sleigh touched down they hopped in and Jolly gave the order for them to head back to the North Pole. As they lifted into the air, Carol stuffed her hands into her jacket pocket and closed her eyes. She could handle this. She could go back to her regular life and live without Ben and the children, even if she had to take it one painful, lonely moment at a time.
***
As soon as the sleigh was cleared for landing and Carol stepped foot onto the North Pole she was swept into a flurry of activity that befit Christmas World Headquarters on the twenty-third of December.
“Welcome home, Carol,” chorused dozens of Santa’s helpers as she walked down the long gleaming corridor that led to Christmas Central. She waved and smiled as she continued on her way but she didn’t stop to speak with anyone. Her heart was too heavy.
She stood outside her father’s double oak office doors and took a moment to compose herself as best she could. Her father wouldn’t be angry with her because she hadn’t convinced Ben to love Christmas, she knew that. She’d never seen Santa angry. Knowing him, he wouldn’t even be disappointed, which, somehow, made it all the harder to bear.
She took a deep breath and pushed open the door. Her heart felt a rush of warmth when she saw her father studying an old fashioned world map hung on the back wall of his office. She didn’t have to speak because he turned at the sound of the door.
A loving smile stretched across his face and his blue eyes shone. “Carol, my lovely girl, welcome home.” He held out his arms and she ran to him and hugged him more fiercely than she’d ever done before.
“Honey, honey, it’s all going to work out.” He held her at arm’s length and searched her face. “I promise we’ll sort through this.”
She shook her head and wiped away the few tears that escaped her eyes. “No Dad, there’s nothing to sort out. I’m sorry about-”
Santa held up a white gloved hand to stop her apology. “Hush, child. You’ve nothing to apologize for. In fact, your mother and I were just saying this morning that you did us proud with the way you handled everything at the Hanson’s. You saved Christmas for those two children and that is a precious gift. Now, do you want to talk about your Ben now or later?”
“He’s not my Ben, Dad.” Carol put her hand over her chest in a futile effort to stop her heart from aching. “What I really want to do now is get to work.”
“You’ve come to the right place then.” Santa crossed to his desk, took a sheath of papers from the top of a mountainous stack and handed them to her. “These are the conflicting naughty versus nice reports, and I need someone I can trust implicitly to make decisions.”
Carol nodded. This she could do. “I’ll just go and find Mom, say hello and then I’ll get right to these.”
“Thank you, my dear. Your mother is supervising the routine maintenance check on my sleigh, you know how she is about that.”
“You two are lucky to have each other.” She tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage, not while she was fighting back tears.
“Luck has nothing to do with it. It’s destiny.”
“Not now, Dad, please.” A change of subject was in order. Her younger sibling was always a safe distraction. “Where is Nicholas?”
Santa shook his head ruefully. “It seems as if both of my children have been busy falling in love. You with your Ben, and Nicholas with his new assistant. So, wherever the lovely Holly is, I wager so is your brother. Why you both couldn’t have waited until January I can’t fathom.”
She was saved from a discussion she didn’t want to have when the buzzer on Santa’s desk sounded. She waited while he went to answer it.
Santa pushed the intercom button, “Claus One, here.”
“We’re looking for Claus Three,” an elf responded.
Santa motioned Carol over to his desk. “Someone wants you.”
Carol pressed the button, “Claus Three. Go ahead.”
But she couldn’t hear the response for the loud banging on the doors to Santa’s office. “Hold, please,” she said before letting go of the intercom. She waited while her father went to see what the commotion was all about.
Santa threw open the doors and an irate cadre of red faced elves charged into the office. Stunned at the angry energy they radiated, Carol went to stand beside her father.
“What’s the meaning of this?” Santa asked, his voice calm yet authoritative.
Twenty angry voices chorused in a collectively irate response.
“One at a time,” Santa demanded. “What’s happened?”
Jolly pushed through the throng, dragging Rapz along with her. “Santa, we’ve got a situation.”
“Situation my slippers,” an elf in back shouted. “This is an emergency.”
Carol glanced at her father. He was generally impervious to what others called emergencies. She tried to look Rapz in the eye but he wouldn’t look up. That didn’t bode well. “What’s this all about, Jolly?”
The buzzer on the desk sounded again, it’s low, shrill tone buzzing insistently. Carol ignored it.
“Tell them, Rapz, go ahead,” Jolly ordered him. “I’m not doing your dirty work, start talking.” She held up her hand for the crowd behind her to quiet down.
Rapz opened his mouth to speak but he was interrupted by the inte
rcom.
“Oh, for holiday’s sake.” Santa strode around the desk and pushed the button. “Claus One here, requesting you cease harassing me with this blasted intercom.”
“Sir, we need to speak with Claus Three. Immediately.”
Santa’s eyebrows rose. Immediately was usually an order he gave, not received. “Claus Three is busy. Out.” He yanked on the chord until it came out of the socket. He smiled in satisfaction when the blinking light on the intercom went out.
“Now, Rapz, let’s hear what you’ve done.” Santa sank into his chair and motioned for the mob to move forward. They did, and Carol went to stand behind her father’s chair.
“Sir, I was only trying to help.”
“Rapz, today is December twenty-third. It’s our last full day of pre-holiday operations so please just say what you have to say.”
Rapz gulped. “I umm, well, I brought Carol a Christmas gift.”
Carol and her father exchanged curious glances.
“Thank you, Rapz, but you know the rule,” Carol said in a gentle voice. “The world needs their gifts delivered first before anyone here even thinks about opening their presents.” She surveyed the seething group before turning her attention back to him. “Why is everyone so angry?”
“They don’t like what I brought you.”
This elicited deafening jeers that didn’t stop until Santa thumped his desk with his fist. Several times. “Silence,” he thundered.
Carol had never heard her father speak so sharply before, neither had any of the elves. Santa got his silence.
“Rapz, just answer my question. What gift did you get for my daughter?”
Rapz looked guiltily from Santa to Carol and then back at her father. “It’s not so much a what, Sir, as a who.”
“Who?” Santa repeated in confusion.
Before anyone else could speak, two small figures ran in through the open door and launched themselves at Carol.
“Hello, Miss Kane,” they happily echoed each other.
Stunned, Carol looked down at Hillary and Patrick Hanson’s upturned faces. The children were all but levitating with pure excitement but a ripple of dread ran through Carol. She stared at Rapz in disbelief and then tried to speak, but it took her more than one attempt to sound coherent. “You kidnapped Ben’s children?”
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