“He’s my father – He was my father.” I headed past him. My father was a well-known agent. He was a legend, but the mention of his name still brought tears to my eyes.
I rushed toward my class, hoping I wouldn’t get my ass chewed out when I arrived. Our classes weren’t taught by normal teachers – we had drill sergeants, forensics specialists and – slave drivers. All day long I was yelled at.
“Hey, wait a minute.” I glanced behind without slowing down. The man half ran to catch up slowing only when he was beside me. “You want to go out sometime?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t know you.”
“That’s kind of the point of a date.” He chuckled.
“I’m sure you got plenty of girls just dying to be the next notch on your belt.” I noticed he wore a gun holster on his hip and wondered how it had escaped me before.
“Come on....” he whined. “One date with me and you will never think of another man again.”
“You are so sure of yourself.” I laughed. “No, I’m sorry. I have a rule.”
“What rule?”
I paused at the classroom door. “The rule I have about dating cocky, conceited cops.” I tapped the insignia on his collared shirt.
“I’m not cocky.” He retorted. “I’m confident. Big difference.”
“Sorry Casanova, but you’re going to have to look elsewhere for your Friday night date. I’m not into one night stands.”
“But, you have to go out with me.” He continued to beg.
“Why is that?”
He looked deep into my eyes with a serious expression. “Well, if you don’t, how will I ever get my heart back.”
“Oh, you’re good.”
“So …”
“Okay.” His grin was hard to say no to.
“I’ll see you tonight then.” He held the door open for me. “You got a phone number?”
I wrote my name and number on his hand. Then stepped inside the room and to my surprise, he followed me in. As it turned out – he was the guest speaker that day. For an hour and a half, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him and he threw a wink my way every chance he got.
I spent a lot of time thinking about the man I had fallen in love with and the truth was, I was still fond of that man even if I wasn’t sure if I loved him. I longed for the moments we spent together. We had so much fun. He’d called it fate and I really wanted to experience that touch, that laughter, that kind of relationship again.
“No. this isn’t right.” I pulled from Josh’s embrace. “This is just another one of your schemes.” His recent harassment was still fresh on my mind as well. As well as his recent screw-up. “You know I just found out about Chris and you’re trying to take advantage.” His arms had felt wonderful wrapped around me and I didn’t realize how badly I needed the affection, until that moment, but I refused to let that cloud my judgment.
“Will you just listen to me without the crap for one minute?” He took a deep breath as if he had to force the words from the pit of his bowels. “I know you’re acting this way because of how I was before you left. I have a lot of trust issues. None of them are your fault and I didn’t realize that I have been taken them out on you.”
“Don’t worry, Josh. I’ve never wasted my tears on you.” I lied.
“I want you back, Jessie.” He pleaded. “This time without you has been driving me crazy. I realized that I lost something I didn’t want to lose.” He gave me the same puppy dog eyes that had caused me to forgive him for never calling me after our first date and in that moment all I could think about was the good times. “Please say you’ll still marry me.”
“I miss you too.”
“It’s going to be just like it was when we started out, remember?” He was satisfied and immediately, he turned romantic and he swung me gently as he hugged me.
“How could I forget?” The days of us sneaking kisses in the shadows and stopping off on dirt roads were the most exciting moments of my life.
“Do what you need to do, Babe and then hurry home.” Passionately he delivered a long kiss, acting as if he didn’t want to take his lips from mine and all I could think was how confusing the world could be, filling my heart with joy one minute and ripping it to shreds the next. “I love you.” And he slipped my engagement ring back on my finger. “I guess I better get back on the road before the crew comes looking for me. He took a few steps away.
I eyed the ring on my finger, not sure if I was ready to wear it again.
“Hey, girl!” Tina was by my side.
“I thought you were off today?” With wide eyes I stared at Josh, hoping Tina hadn’t seen us. I didn’t want to explain how I knew the agent.
“I was, but Spence called me in. I wasn’t doing anything anyway.” Tina touched Josh’s shoulder, “What’s up, Agent Tucker? I see you have finally found some new blood to harass.” She stuck a hand on her hip, sized him up for a moment, then ignored him. “Let’s go, New Girl. You don’t have to talk to this goon.”
Now, it was Josh’s turn to stare doe-eyed, but I thought nothing of the statement knowing he would question anyone close to Gianetti from time to time. It was his job to harass the people I worked with.
Josh made no attempt to keep us as I joined Tina. Once I glanced back, but he wasn’t staring after me. It bugged me. I guess I was expecting him to want to watch me until I was gone.
“Can you believe Ashley called in sick? I bet it’s nothing more than a well-deserved case of embarrassment.” The erotic beauty laughed loudly. “She came on to Sean again last night, went to his office and stood before him completely naked. Sean literally threw her out,” Tina gossiped.
“Wow. That’s um …”
“Slutty?” Tina giggled. “So, that cop guy gave you the third degree, huh?”
“Actually, he asked me out.” Partially true. Josh had asked me out in the past. No need to analyze the details, I convinced myself, but I instantly wished I had thought of something else to say. I didn’t want to talk about Josh with my new friend at all.
“Yeah, I’m sure he did. He hates Sean with a passion. Something about what went down between them when they were kids. He’s been trying to dig up dirt on Sean ever since he graduated the academy. I think he became a cop just so he could harass Sean. I would stand him up if I were you. You can bet he’s just going to ask you a million questions about what Sean does in the club.”
“Really?” I felt the urge to ask some questions of my own but was scared to find out too many details about my fiancé’s undercover life.
“He asks all of us the same questions over and over again. Have you ever been to his house? Who does he talk to at De’Bris? Honestly, the guy needs to find another hobby. Anyway, another night, another dirty dollar.”
I laughed. Technically, we had arrived late to work. I knew Spencer was going to chew us out, but I didn’t care as walked toward the back entrance through the alley. I had found hope again.
“I wish these bums would find somewhere else to sleep.” Tina spat about the man who laid against the building. “It makes me nervous. I’m going to send Matt out to move him.”
“Let him be, Teen. I think they just lay down where ever they are when they get tired. He’ll leave on his own.” I discreetly tapped my chest to tell the guy to cover the badge he wore proudly as if it were a medal of honor.
I was used to seeing familiar people from the Bureau hanging around De’Bris and usually, I wouldn’t acknowledge them, but Monroe was the worst possible look-out ever I swear. He was gonna get himself killed.
“Where is everybody?” I asked as I put on a pair of comfortable cutoff jeans shorts and a shimmering pink halter top.
The dressing room was unusually bare and quiet.
“Beats me.” Tina shrugged.
“The club is open tonight, right?”
“Spence doesn’t even close on Sundays.” She glanced at my outfit. “Going casual toda
y?” She giggled.
“I’m not really into dresses,” I admitted. “I’ll put this on before I go on stage.” I plopped a purple wad of material on top of the makeshift vanity.
“I guess I’m just going to have to match ya.” And a few minutes later, Tina stood beside me a gold one piece short set.
“You just made me look like shit.” I teased.
“That depends on the beau’s preference. A lot of guys like that country girl look.” She grabbed a hat off a nearby rack and stuck it on my head. “Ye haw, Cowgirl.”
I rolled my eyes and pulled back the curtain.
The main room was vacant as well. Not one customer sat around the tables. No one danced on stage and even Devo was missing from the D.J. booth.
“This silence is eerie.” I felt sick, thinking that somehow the empty establishment had something to do with me.
“Sean,” Tina addressed the man who exited the door behind the bar with a set of keys in his hand. “What’s going on?”
“Street race.” He strolled the distance between us. “It’s about time you two showed up. I need a couple good luck charms.” His eyes flicked, taking me in from head to toe.
“Oh, no.” Tina shook her head. “You’re racing?”
“Do I ever flake?” He walked backward until we took steps to follow him.
In the back parking lot, he opened the door to his old beat up sports car and Tina and I slipped into the backseat.
“What? No one’s sitting shotgun?” He rounded the car and slipped behind the steering wheel.
“It’s safer back here.” Tina joked. “You rolled your last car.”
“Oh, that’s how it’s gonna be?” Sean’s eyes sparkled as he gazed at us through the rear view. “Well, I hope you didn’t spend much time on those hairdo’s tonight.”
And with a flick of a button, the hard top slipped into the space behind us.
Tina let out a holler and hopped up on the backseat dragging me along with her.
For a moment, I felt like I was much younger. Experiencing the rush of excitement I had missed out on.
“You really think you can beat someone with this old thing?” I teased Sean.
He answered by turning the key and pressing the gas, making the motor roar loudly.
I felt a sudden, slight jolt as he pulled out of the parking space and I had to hold tight, feeling like I was going to fall over if I didn’t. We hit the streets and he revved the motor, taking off and gaining speed rapidly. I held onto my hat and squealed into the rushing wind.
Sean flipped another switch and what looked like a laptop folded out of the dash. He opened it, revealing a list. He split his attention between the road and device, tapping a few keys.
“There you go Seany!” Tina yelled as the music reached our ears. A fast paced Brantley Gilbert? A mob boss into country – what were the odds?
I felt a combination of the bass and the engine vibrate beneath me. Maybe it was wrong, but I just enjoyed the moment. I took off the hat and let the wind blow my hair. I leaned back feeling a thrill wash over me in a wave, then I sat up. My eyes catching Sean’s and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. For a moment I was partying with the devil. It was so sad that his blood was tainted. That a man who looked like him, smiled like him and had eyes like him, had such a devious soul.
I think if I had met him in my youth – if I hadn’t been in a coma – I would have run off with him. I imagined I would have been a rebellious teen. My parents always kept me on a very short leash. I couldn’t take a step without correction. A man like Sean – would have been trouble and if I felt anything like I did in that moment – I would have easily been lured into his world.
But that wasn’t the case. I went from being an obedient child to being a doting girlfriend. I stayed on the right path, the one I was directed to use and I never took the road less traveled. I was sculpted by my family. Beliefs and standards engraved in my soul. There was no room to be anything else – to be me – who was I? I’d never had a chance to figure out who I was – to know what I liked – what I wanted.
Sean winked. And I felt a flutter. – No. I shook it away. I was engaged. I was going back to my old life – soon.
Sean brought the car to a stop in a line beside four other cars. The entire two-lane street was blocked off and there was a crowd of people standing around. I had never seen anything like it.
“That car gets uglier every time I see it, Sean.” The man sitting on a shiny green car addressed.
Sean didn’t respond. He got out. Pulled back his seat and held out a hand. Tina took it first and jumped out of the car. She hollered, held up her hands and soon had the entire crowd hyped up, chanting Sean’s name.
I let out a little laugh. Tina’s fun loving attitude made me forget my troubles. It was so easy to get swept away in her excitement. Sean held his hand out to me. I froze for a moment before taking it. I stepped carefully, slipping over the side of the convertible. Sean led me away, but gripped my hand a bit tighter when I tried to join Tina on the sidelines.
My eyes dropped to my hand. His fingertips rubbed over the diamond on my finger. I lifted my gaze to his. I weakly smiled. He gave a breathy laugh, glanced away for a moment, then released me.
“Hey!” He called out as I walked away. “Why don’t you start us off?”
“Really?” It felt like a real honor.
“Stand right here.” He placed the hat I’d left in his backseat on my head and whispered directions in my ear.
I stood in the middle of the cars. I listened to the crowd and I soaked it all in. Maybe I couldn’t stay in my new life, but I was damn sure going to enjoy it while I was there.
FIFTEEN
(Sean)
I CLIMBED INTO MY MUSCLE car, a Camaro, patterned after a sixty-nine model on the outside. It was about two decades old in Jenithiyah. I had taken great pains to obtain it and had spent a small fortune rebuilding it to a modern working order, but high-performance parts were hard to come by.
“When are you going to give up, Gianetti?” Nathan Vanderwerf taunted from the car beside me. The dark haired man had the fastest car in Demora. He didn’t have problems finding parts and he wouldn’t give up his source. Which led me to believe he stole what he needed to keep the machine running and winning. “Haven’t you abused that beast enough?”
“I’ve given it a few tweaks.” I laughed.
“I see one of them wasn’t a paint job.”
“It doesn’t have to look good to kick your ass, Vanderwerf.”
“Want to put some green on that?” He held up a roll of cash.
“Always.” I held up my own. I was only in it for the rush. Losing the money didn’t matter to me, unlike my opponent who depended on his winnings to help support his family.
I turned up the radio. Vanderwerf rolled his eyes at my choice and I turned jacked it up louder just to aggravate him. I liked all kinds of music and that night I was enjoying the fast paced country songs of rebellion.
I gazed at the woman, whose name I still didn’t know, standing between our cars. Her hands went up. We revved our motors, concentrating on her hands. Waiting for them to drop, but I was distracted by the slight wiggle of her hips as she took small steps back.
The cars beside me took off and I found myself starting off a bit late. I dropped my foot on the accelerator to catch up. Speeding through the city. High speeds brought an adrenaline rush, a feeling that made me feel free and in control. My mind could freely vent frustrations and the car did whatever I commanded it to do.
I glanced at the seat beside me. An empty seat and I envisioned Sara by my side, just as she had been when I was young. She had loved the thrill of taking a curve at ninety and she had loved to wrap her arms around me while we spun donuts on dirt paths, squealing with both slight fear and excitement. Her faded memory evaporated and a new vision took her place. Another woman smiled my way. It was official. My head was turned. Something I never thought could ever happen.
“Boo!�
��
Sara’s ghost popped up out of the back seat like she had done after her father had refused to let me take her on our first date.
“Shit!”
The memory of the tomboy my wife had been startled. I jerked the wheel and found myself spinning out of control. I tightened my grip, turning into the spin, hoping I could regain control. The screeching of my tires stung my ears. The view was hidden by smoke.
Crash!
My head jolted forward, bouncing off the sterling wheel and all I could think was ‘Damn, I need to put airbags in this thing.’ Then I was out.
I opened my eyes, expecting to hear laughter. Instead, I heard a cluster of worried yells. I lifted my eyes to the side mirror. I crowd was running my way.
“Sean!” It took both Divani brothers to force my door open. “Are you alright, Man?” I heard the panic in his voice.
I blinked rapidly. The pain in my head and neck consumed me for a moment. I sat back against the seat, waiting on my focus to return.
“Sean!” Matt repeated.
“I’m alright.” I sniffed back the tears that wanted to fall and touched my palm to my forehead. It came back bloody. “It’s nothing.”
I moved slowly from the car and rounded the front to inspect the damage.
I had run right into a cement wall. The entire front end of my car was crumpled and smoking.
“Son of a bitch!” I complained. “Shit!” It was going to take a lot of searching for parts to repair it and a lot of money.
“Well, at least you didn’t flip it this time.” Tina stood with a hand on her hip, shaking her head at my stupidity.
~ ♥ ~
My embarrassment caused me to hide in my office that night. I don’t know what had gone wrong. I was usually pretty skilled behind the wheel. I felt like a cheating scoundrel and I knew Sara’s memory had shown up because I was thinking things I shouldn’t. It was like she was reminding me – telling me that I couldn’t do it to another woman.
No woman since Sara had intrigued me. No woman had turned my head and left a lingering impression. Till death do you part – yet it was so unfair. Sara was buried and gone, never to feel a tender touch again and it was my fault. My prison sentence was intentionally self-imposed and these new feelings were nothing less than dishonorable to Sara.
Son of a Mobster (Criminal Desires) Page 11
