What? He couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped his lips. “Aren’t we past that, Kaylee? And why would I think you’re a slut anyway?”
“I just…have done some slutty things with you.”
Now he couldn’t help but say it, and his voice was filled with incredulity. “What?”
“Like…like touching you and…forcing myself on you.”
“Are you kidding, Kaylee? No way.” He could tell from her voice that it bothered her. He felt for her face and cupped her cheek. “Why would you even think that? We’re—we’re acting like any couple would. Kaylee, I want to explore your body and have you explore mine. God, you have no idea what that did for me—you touching me, forcing yourself on me? That was nice. You have no idea.”
Her voice was quiet. “Okay.”
He repeated his earlier question. “Why would you even think that?”
She paused. “Without boring you, let me just say my parents are strict and…very religious. They wouldn’t approve.”
He tried to find a way to say what he had to say without insulting her, but finally he just asked, “Are you happy?”
“Right now?”
“Yeah.”
He felt her nod under his hand. “Yeah.”
“Then who gives a shit what anyone else thinks?” He almost told her something else to reassure her, something too emotional, something too fresh, too soon to be real, so he stopped himself. Instead, he said, “I care about you a lot, Kaylee, and I don’t give a shit about what anybody on this planet thinks about that. And if you’re happy, I’m happy.”
She kissed him then and said, “Thank you for that.” She kissed him again…and again…and again, and he realized she was going to rock his world again. That was definitely worth staying awake a little longer for.
* * *
Kaylee’s brain slowly found its way to wakefulness, and she could tell there was light streaming in her bedroom. She could sense Blaze in her bed, but he must have rolled over, because he wasn’t holding her anymore. She blinked a few times and looked over. He was on his back, his mouth open a little, sucking in air. She hadn’t watched many people sleep in her lifetime, but out of all of them, she’d have to say Blaze looked the most peaceful.
She wondered what he was dreaming.
He was a beautiful soul, and she was glad he was the guy helping her explore this new side of herself. By the same token, though, she was still quite embarrassed about it when she gave it a lot of thought.
She had to get over it. What was it Blaze had said last night? That she shouldn’t care what anyone else thought as long as she was happy…but what if it was her own brain that was the problem?
Well, she didn’t know any other way to be. She had to process it and absorb it and deal with it, and she’d somehow find a way to do it.
She wanted to get some coffee, and she suspected she was waking up thanks to Rachel getting ready for work. She looked over at the clock. Yep. It wasn’t even seven yet. Had to be Rachel’s putzing around that had awakened her. That was good, though, because it meant coffee would already be made.
As she moved around, she became aware of the damp sticky feeling up high between her inner thighs. That was physical evidence of her night with Blaze, and she couldn’t believe she’d asked him to have sex with her without a condom. She could barely believe how desperate she’d felt. She was becoming a depraved sexual creature!
Honestly, though, Blaze might have looked like a bad boy, what with the hemp bracelets he wore and the few black tattoos etched on his upper arms and chest, not to mention his longish hair and the sneer he wore on occasion, but he had to be the sweetest, most thoughtful guy she’d ever dated. He was considerate and caring and genuine. And she trusted him. He’d given her no reason not to.
Still…she wasn’t used to the feeling of drying—she shuddered as her mind processed the word—cum. It made her feel like a dirty girl—not the evidence of Blaze on her, but the idea of what it was.
God, she had to get over this. It was her past haunting her, really. It was the voices of her parents, of the blue-haired church ladies who talked about hellfire and brimstone, of the youth group leaders who talked about remaining chaste and pure when the devil reared his ugly head.
But she looked over at Blaze again. He was no devil. Not even close. And she knew what someone like her last youth group leader would say—he would say that Satan looked more beautiful than anyone would expect and that Kaylee should be more afraid of beauty than ugliness. But no. Blaze’s soul—that was where his beauty radiated from, and if being saved meant turning him away, she would be content to be damned.
So she took a deep breath and began searching for the long night shirt she’d worn the evening before. She was going to have some coffee and then see if she could get a little studying done this morning. For now, she felt like her hormones were under control. She needed to harness her brain for reading while it was with her instead of giving into the feelings of arousal that had been overrunning her lately.
She found the night shirt on the floor and picked it up, pulling it over her head, and then she pulled a pair of clean panties out of a dresser drawer. She glanced over at Blaze to make sure the noise of the drawer opening didn’t wake him up. He still looked as peaceful as ever.
She opened the door, hoping it wouldn’t squeak, and closed it behind her, moving slowly so the sound wouldn’t make him stir. She realized as she walked to the kitchen that she appreciated the way the panties alleviated the sticky feeling. She figured she’d take a shower sooner rather than later so she wouldn’t have to learn to live with the discomfort…although, she had to admit to herself, it was kind of cool too.
When she got to the kitchen, the light was on and yes! There was a pot of coffee that was three-quarters full, but no sign of Rachel in sight. Kaylee wondered if maybe her friend had already left for work, but as she was pouring a mug of the hot stuff, Rachel entered the kitchen.
“Well, well, well. There’s the little sex kitten herself.”
Kaylee’s cheeks burned hot then, and she hadn’t even turned around to face her friend. She wanted to die. It might not have been so bad if Kaylee hadn’t been with Rachel’s brother. She stirred the sugar in her coffee and refused to turn around but she answered. “Not even close.”
Rachel started laughing and joined her at the counter, her empty cup begging for more liquid. “That’s not what it sounded like from out here.”
Kaylee’s cheeks stung again. Oh, God, that was so embarrassing. She’d thought briefly about that last night, especially being up against her bedroom door, but… Kaylee shook her head, speechless. What could she even say to that?
Rachel giggled again, grabbing the carafe and pouring coffee into her cup. “I’m just giving you grief, girlie. We’ve never heard you make noise before, ever, and we’ve been living together for close to two years. At first, I thought maybe it was because our bedrooms are upstairs, but that’s not it. You and Blaze must just click, huh?” She shook her head. “I never would have thought in a million years…”
Kaylee felt a little relief since Rachel was doing all the talking. She didn’t want to admit to Rachel that the woman’s brother had been the first guy to manage to help her find her O, but maybe she would. Out of all her roommates, Kaylee trusted Rachel the most, even in spite of the woman’s recent crazy idea to do OM in the first place. She took a deep breath and made her way to the table, sitting down and sipping her coffee. When she finally spoke, she said, “I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to wrap your mind around me and Blaze…unless it’s that you’re overprotective of your brother, and you’re afraid I’ll hurt him.”
Rachel started laughing as she sat across from Kaylee. “Oh, no. You have to be the nicest, most unassuming person I know. If I was afraid of anyone getting hurt in this relationship, it would be you…but I don’t even see that happening. Blaze is too nice a guy too. I don’t think he’s ever had a relationship go sour. Hell, I think he’
s still friends with all his exes. How the hell does he even do that?”
Kaylee didn’t even want to think that far into the future. They had hardly been together and yet the idea of them becoming exes hurt her heart. She also didn’t know how she felt about Blaze staying friends with all his exes, but she couldn’t let it bother her. It didn’t mean he wanted to be with them. Kaylee shrugged in answer to Rachel’s question. She herself wasn’t still friends with her exes. She didn’t hate them, but she didn’t want to be around them. After all, they’d broken up for a reason. They hadn’t been compatible long term.
With Blaze, though, she could feel something. He was different, so much different from any other guy she’d ever dated. She tried to form the words to tell Rachel, but she couldn’t think of what to say or how to say it. She knew she’d have to say something soon, though, or Rachel would know she was off in dreamland. She looked up from her coffee cup and smiled. She could tell her friend a simple truth. “Your brother is amazing.”
Rachel smirked. “I could have guessed that from the way you sounded.” Kaylee couldn’t help the horrified look on her face, but then Rachel started laughing. “I’m messing with you. It was actually TMI.” Kaylee’s cheeks grew hot again. Damn it. She wished she could stop getting embarrassed about every little thing involving her sex life.
Her voice had a higher pitch than she would have liked when she said, “You know what I meant.”
“Yeah, I did…and I have to agree. He is the best big brother I could have ever asked for.” Rachel took a large swig of her coffee and then said, “I’m still surprised, though. I mean…when did you guys even get together? Was your first date Friday?”
Kaylee smiled but pursed her lips. No way was she going to say a word about it. If Rachel ever found out, Kaylee would never live it down. She shrugged and grinned once more. After another sip of coffee, she said, “I don’t know why you said he wasn’t my type, though. I’ve always liked him a lot.”
“Seriously? You never said a word.”
“Why would I tell you I had a crush on your brother?”
“Why not? We talk about our crushes all the time.”
“But he’s your brother!”
Rachel giggled. “You have a point. But your type…never seemed to be like my brother. He’s laid back and relaxed, and the guys you’ve dated in the past…totally aren’t that way.”
“Rachel, do I seem like the type of girl who feels comfortable pursuing guys?” Rachel smiled and shook her head. “Exactly. Sure, I’ve had plenty of crushes on cute guys, but they’re the ones asking me. I don’t have the guts to chase a guy. I never have and I never will. So maybe I might not have a type but it seems like there’s a certain kind of guy who finds me attractive.”
Rachel laughed. “Yeah, that must be it.”
Blaze walked in the kitchen, fully dressed, including his jacket. Rachel looked at him and smirked. “Morning, bro. I thought you were just gonna get a good night kiss and hit the road.”
He grinned. “The best laid plans, right?” He paused by Kaylee and kissed her on top of her head. “You. I can’t even get near you or I’ll get in trouble for keeping you from studying.” He started backing toward the doorway and Kaylee giggled. He was pointing his finger at her. “Temptress, I will text you later, but I have work tonight, so study your ass off while you can.” He blew a kiss. “Meanwhile, I gotta blaze.”
Kaylee smiled and blew a kiss back, then waved, and Rachel laughed. As they heard Blaze close the front door, Rachel stood and took her coffee cup to the sink. “Oh, you guys are too cute together.” Rachel walked toward the doorway. “I gotta head to work myself.” She paused and turned and Kaylee looked up at her. “Thanks for making my brother smile. I promise he’ll be better to you than those jock douche canoes you’ve dated in the past.” Kaylee laughed. “And if he’s not, he’ll have to answer to me.”
Kaylee couldn’t see Blaze being anything but good…in every sense of the word.
Chapter Seventeen
A COUPLE OF weeks later, Shannon was graduating with her Bachelor of Arts degree, Sam and Blaze with their Bachelor of Science degrees. Rachel, Maddy, and Kaylee sat together while they watched their friends walk, and then they all met up with a handful of other friends for a barbecue in the backyard of the girls’ house.
None of them wanted to think about it on that beautiful warm day in May, but it hung in the air. Before the end of the month, the girls would be without a roommate. Blaze’s situation wasn’t quite so drastic—Sam wasn’t leaving until the end of July, so Blaze had more time to find someone. The girls knew they’d eventually have to find a new roomie too, but all three of them always worked extra hours in the summer and knew they could afford the little extra that Shannon’s absence cost them, but they knew they’d need a new roommate by fall at the latest.
That day, though, they smiled and joked and enjoyed themselves. Kaylee hadn’t realized just how hardcore an environmentalist Blaze was until that day, though. He picked aluminum cans and bottles out of the trash to be recycled and toted them out to his car before everyone left. Kaylee joined him out front while he was putting another bag in his car and planted a huge kiss on his lips. “You make recycling sexy.”
He grinned and grabbed her ass, pulling her into him. “You’re just saying that.”
“Nope. You make everything sexy.”
So she was trying to have fun that day, staying lighthearted, and why not? She’d just finished out her junior year, and that was a big deal, but she had three things on her mind—the first was that she’d have bigger bills until she and her girlfriends found a suitable roommate, and they had to hope they were compatible with the new person, whomever she might be; the second was that, even though Blaze was still going to work on his master’s degree, he was officially done as an undergrad, and she hoped that didn’t mean he was going to move on; and third and most scary—Blaze and Rachel’s mother was going to be there the next day to celebrate his graduation. Blaze had said more than once that he couldn’t wait for his mom to meet her. He’d taken lately to calling her “the girl of his dreams,” but what if his mom didn’t think the same? So Kaylee’s stomach was in knots, even while Blaze’s hands on her rear were making her hot.
She was finding it easier to be open with Blaze, but she’d had no idea how many walls her brain would put up. She was defying her entire upbringing, after all, and just having Blaze’s eyes graze over her naked body was a challenge for her at times. She was happy to take the challenge and to fight her inner feelings, but it was often difficult. He was so patient, though, and that made her want to try all the more.
Now, though, on the street in front of her house up against his car was not the place to get down and dirty. So they snuck in the house and had a little fun before rejoining the group in the backyard.
As they were slipping back into their clothes, Blaze said, “Okay, Kaylee, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to ask, but I can tell now that you’re not going to volunteer it. What’s wrong?”
Oh, God, how did he do that? How could he read her so easily and so well? Before they’d started dating, she knew he hadn’t been able to figure out what she was thinking, but having been together for a little while had opened him up to how she worked…and she found it a bit disconcerting. She couldn’t hide her feelings as well, and she wasn’t practiced in the art of fibbing, so she couldn’t get away with telling him everything was fine.
She hoped to not make a big deal about it, though, and maybe she could try a little subterfuge. She did not want him to know she was stressing out about his future. They hadn’t been dating long enough for her to begin worrying if he would stay or go or if he thought Kaylee belonged in his life for more than just the summer. She wasn’t going to ask. So she decided to tell him the thing on her mind that most bothered her for the moment. She said it while she was pulling up her shorts. She was able to button and zip them without looking at his face. “I’m really nervous about meeting your mom.”
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“Don’t be, Kaylee. She is…God, I can’t even describe my own mother. Just—trust me when I say you have nothing to worry about.”
Unfortunately, his words didn’t help. She grew more and more nervous until the next day when they drove to the restaurant downtown where they were going to meet her. When they stepped out of the car, Kaylee saw a middle-aged woman with dark brown hair and green eyes, slender and tall as a fashion model looking over at them. She knew the woman had to be their mother. She looked like an older version of Rachel—there was no mistaking the resemblance. The woman’s skin was darker, though, and reminded Kaylee of Blaze, and she wondered if their mother spent as much time in the sun as her boyfriend.
After hugging her children, the woman turned her attention to Kaylee. “You must be Kaylee, right?” Kaylee nodded, proud of herself that she didn’t feel her cheeks flaming because of the attention she was receiving. She was wondering why, having spent the last two years as Rachel’s roommate, she’d never met their mother. She’d met Shannon and Maddy’s parents, and they’d all met hers. It was strange. Their mother continued, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Kaylee forced a smile, but she couldn’t say the same about their mom. She had hardly heard a thing about the woman. Besides, she was fighting her blushing instincts, so she was going to keep her response short and sweet. “Nice to meet you.”
“You as well.” As they started walking into the restaurant, their mother wrapped her arm around Blaze. “So…my brilliant boy graduated college. And now you’re on to grad school?”
Blaze nodded. “Yeah. I’m going to continue my studies here.”
“You should consider studying in Europe, son.”
They walked in the doors, and Kaylee felt the cool air inside settle on her shoulders. “Mom, my place is here. The U.S. is backwards in its thinking about climate change. Europe already has higher standards than we do. If I want to help, I need to be here and learn here.”
The older woman rolled her eyes. “Ah, my son. Pie in the sky. You realize you would be learning from the trendsetters?”
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