“Probably,” Savannah said as she walked backward a couple of steps. “Will you save a dance for me?”
Maddie nodded before waving her away. If she stayed there distracting her for much longer, not only would she never get her equipment ready in time, but she’d be sorely tempted to drag her into the house and have her way with her. And she was pretty sure even though Savannah was obviously attracted to her too, she didn’t want things to go quite so far.
Yet, as Amy had said, but she’d been referring to a wedding. Maddie knew if she was ever going to break through Savannah’s walls, it was going to take being slow and steady. Maddie was going to have to make Savannah think she couldn’t live without her. The only problem was, she had no idea where to even start.
“Hey, beautiful,” said a familiar voice from behind her. Maddie rolled her eyes before turning to face Kelly. She was sure Kelly was a great person—she was Savannah’s best friend, after all—but she really didn’t like the way she kept coming on to her. Especially now since Savannah had told her they were dating.
“Kelly,” Maddie said in greeting. She gave her a perfunctory once-over. “You look nice.”
“Thank you, as do you,” she said with a wide smile. “Will you save me a dance at the reception?”
“I’ll only be dancing with Savannah, but thank you for asking.” Maddie turned back to her equipment, but it was obvious after a moment Kelly wasn’t going anywhere. “Was there something else?”
“I’m just trying to figure out why you’re dating her,” Kelly said with a shrug. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love her. She’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember, but she’s only ever had one girlfriend. The breakup devastated her. The reasons leading up to it, and the actual reason for it in the end.”
“I know,” Maddie said with a nod. She really didn’t know, but she hoped Kelly hadn’t made the story up just to catch them in their lie. “She told me all about it.”
“I doubt that,” Kelly said with a snort, and Maddie just smiled at her. “She doesn’t talk about it with anyone. I just want to make sure you know I have her back. If you hurt her, you’ll have to deal with me.”
Maddie stared at her back as Kelly turned and walked away. What the hell? She hadn’t expected that. She felt her heart swell at the realization Kelly felt so fiercely protective of Savannah.
No, she told herself, your heart shouldn’t be swelling with anything concerning Savannah. This was nothing but a ruse, and she’d do well to remember it. But it was so damn easy to fall into Savannah’s blue-gray eyes. She had a way of making Maddie feel like she was the only person who mattered when they were together.
She glanced up and saw Savannah looking at her, a worried expression on her face. Maddie had never mastered the art of reading lips, but she knew when Savannah mouthed are you okay? She forced a smile and nodded with a wave to let her know everything was fine.
But was it? After being pulled in to Savannah’s orbit, she wasn’t sure anything was ever going to be fine again.
Chapter Seventeen
Savannah took her seat next to Court after giving her speech at the reception, and her heart was beating way too fast. The people in attendance had laughed in all the right places, and Lana didn’t seem too put out about the references to Court’s somewhat colored past.
She’d been acutely aware of Maddie’s camera focusing on her for part of the speech, and it had unnerved her a little bit. What did the lens reveal to her? Did she see the easygoing woman she tried to portray, or did it reveal the insecurities she felt deep down in her soul? The self-doubt she’d harbored since college.
The feeling of never being enough for someone else. It was something she’d never spoken to anyone about. Not Lisa or Faith, not Noah, not even Kelly. None of them knew the dark places she’d gone to when Shauna crushed her world ten years ago.
“You did good, Wells,” Court said with a hand on her shoulder, effectively pulling her back out of her own head. Savannah smiled.
“Yeah? I didn’t send you down the road to divorce?”
“Hardly.” Court laughed. “Lana already knew about everything you mentioned.”
“Wow,” Savannah said. She dug her nails into her palms to distract herself from the tears she felt threatening to fall. What the hell was it about weddings? “I’m really happy you found each other, Court. You deserve to be happy.”
“So do you,” Court replied, glancing over toward the camera and smiling. When she looked back at her, Savannah thought Court understood more than she ever let on. “Promise me you’ll think about the things I said earlier. Don’t dismiss Maddie without really giving her an opportunity to show you how great she is.”
Savannah watched Maddie as Court spoke, but she turned and met Court’s eyes with a nod.
“I promise I’ll think about it,” she said. “I can’t promise any more than that though.”
“Hey, it’s a start. You know you can call me if you ever need to talk, right? Just not in the next two weeks. I’ll be a little busy with the honeymoon and all.” Court winked and squeezed her shoulder before letting go and turning her attention to her new wife.
People were going in and out of the house to get food from the buffet Lana’s mother had prepared for the wedding. It wasn’t anything fancy because Lana and Court made sure she didn’t go all out. It looked as though most of the guests were opting for the lasagna, and Savannah realized she was hungrier than she’d thought she was.
While she was waiting in the line for food, she felt someone behind her bump into her. She turned and saw Maddie smiling at her, and she couldn’t help but smile back. She had a way of making Savannah believe anything was possible, and she had a feeling it would only lead to heartbreak.
“What was Kelly talking to you about?” Savannah asked, remembering the look on her face as Kelly walked away from her before the ceremony. “You looked a little upset. Was she hitting on you?”
“She was warning me,” Maddie said with a shrug indicating it was no big deal.
“About what?” Savannah looked around for Kelly, wanting to give a warning of her own.
“She said you’ve been hurt in the past, and if I hurt you, I’d have to answer to her.” Maddie held her eyes, and Savannah was uncomfortable with the pity she saw there. “I think it was sweet of her to stand up for you.”
“Sweet?” Savannah asked, feeling anything but grateful for Kelly’s interference. “She had no right to tell you anything about my past.”
“Hey, she was just looking out for her friend,” Maddie said as she grabbed her hand. “And I would hope, in spite of the fact we’re fake dating, that you think of me as a friend as well.”
Savannah looked down at her feet for a moment, feeling a little off kilter. Of course she thought of Maddie as a friend. The problem was, she was beginning to think of her as more than just a friend. She slid her fingers between Maddie’s and squeezed gently.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Of course you’re a friend.”
“It’s okay,” Maddie said, but her expression told Savannah otherwise. “A bit of a warning for you though…I think she was trying to trip me up. She was digging to see if we really are dating. I’m pretty sure she didn’t believe me when I said you’d already told me about it.”
Savannah felt a bit lost when Maddie released her hand, and the distance between them tore at her heartstrings. She wanted to be closer to Maddie, but she didn’t know how to go about it. She’d spent so long keeping women at a distance, she wasn’t even sure she could vocalize what she wanted.
* * *
Savannah asked Maddie to come in when they returned from the wedding, and she agreed to, but needed to go home and let Duke out first. They’d been gone for hours, and she didn’t want the dog peeing in the house.
While she waited, Savannah got out of her tux and into a more relaxed pair of shorts and a well-worn Kingsville Warriors T-shirt. She paced in front of the couch, wondering if she was doing the r
ight thing. She’d decided to tell Maddie about Shauna.
She wasn’t sure how much Kelly had let slip, but it had to have been Shauna she was referencing when she’d talked to Maddie. She’d tried to corner Kelly more than once at the reception to question her about it, but Kelly managed to skirt the issue every time. Leo stared at her with typical feline disinterest, and she couldn’t help but chuckle at his bored look.
“I wish I could be as aloof as you are, little man,” she said with a quick scratch under his chin just as there was a knock at the door. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before going to answer it. She moved aside as she pulled the door open so Maddie could enter. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Maddie said as she walked past. She looked Savannah up and down, then let out a breath and shook her head. “As much as I liked you in the tux, I have to say, you look even better like this.”
Even though the words made Savannah uncomfortable, the way Maddie was looking at her caused her pulse to quicken, and a thrum began low in her belly. She walked to the kitchen so Maddie wouldn’t see the desire she was sure was in her eyes. She grabbed a couple of water bottles from the fridge and slowly made her way back to where Maddie was sitting on the couch.
“What exactly did Kelly say to you?”
“She said you were devastated by a girl in college.” Maddie took the water she offered but set it on the end table without opening it. “I didn’t want her to think we didn’t talk about things, so I said you’d already told me.”
“And she knew better,” Savannah said with a laugh. She shook her head when Maddie nodded in response. “She knows I don’t tell anyone about it. But I want to tell you.”
“You don’t have to, Savannah.”
“I know,” she said with a nod. “I really do want to. And besides, if she questions you again about it, I want to make sure you really do know what happened.”
“Is this the reason you’re perpetually single?”
Savannah nodded and ran her fingers through her hair. She leaned forward, her forearms resting on her thighs just above the knees, and she rubbed her hands together. Where did she even begin?
“There was this girl, Shauna,” she said after a moment, deciding the beginning was the best place. “We met in our sophomore year. She pursued me, and I resisted. For almost an entire year. She was rather persistent though and I finally gave in. Everything was great for a while. By the time my senior year was underway, I was so busy between my classes, hockey, and trying to get accepted into vet school, but she said she understood.”
Savannah paused for a moment, trying to tamp down all the feelings she felt resurfacing. Feelings of betrayal, hurt, and an immense sensation of inadequacy. Shauna had spent months convincing her she loved her and would always be at her side, and Savannah had stupidly believed her.
Maddie was watching her closely, but was thankfully quiet to give Savannah the time she needed to tell this story. Leo was on Maddie’s lap enjoying the belly rub she was giving him and purring loudly.
“Turned out she didn’t really understand, because she began looking elsewhere for the companionship I couldn’t give her. Three weeks before graduation I came home after my last exam of the year, and she was just carrying out the last box of her things.” Savannah shook her head and leaned back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. “She accused me of being more in love with becoming a veterinarian than her. And her new boyfriend agreed. Although he seemed to be really happy about the situation.”
“So, she was bi?” Maddie asked carefully. “Did you know?”
“I assumed she was a lesbian,” Savannah said with a shake of her head. “Shame on me for not asking. Honestly? I think she was a straight girl who wanted to have fun experimenting with a dyke before settling down. She married the guy and they have two kids now.”
“I’m so sorry that happened to you, Savannah,” Maddie said quietly. Savannah looked at her and could see she was sincere in her words, but it didn’t really make her feel any better.
“Since getting my DVM license, nothing much has changed. I’m still busy most of the time and have little to offer a woman as far as a relationship goes.” Savannah took a drink of her water and chuckled humorlessly. “I still spend a lot of time on hockey during the season, and a lot of time at the vet’s office the rest of the time. It’s easier being single.”
“Don’t you get lonely?” Maddie asked. “I’m not talking about sex, I know there’s plenty of opportunity out there for that, but for companionship. For someone to talk to about your day, about your dreams.”
“I have Kelly for that,” Savannah said with a dismissive wave. “I don’t need to worry about a woman at home who might be feeling neglected and looking for something better.”
“I’m not going to try to tell you you’re wrong,” Maddie said as she reached over and took Savannah’s hand. “You have valid reasons for feeling the way you do. But you have to know not all women are like that, right?”
On some level she did know it, but it seemed like too much work to try and find a woman who wasn’t. Maybe Maddie could be that woman, but how could she know for sure? Only time would tell, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to put the time into finding out just to be hurt again.
Chapter Eighteen
The next couple of months went by quickly for Savannah. She and Maddie spent a lot of time together going to family functions and spending time with friends. They never talked again about relationships. It seemed they’d fallen into a routine of spending most evenings together, and as a result they were becoming closer. They held hands a lot, but they’d only kissed once or twice, and it always seemed to be Savannah who would put the brakes on. She was quite sure Maddie would have been happy to let things progress further, but Savannah couldn’t let it. She was already too close to falling for her, and that would only end badly.
“Let’s go for an undefeated season, ladies,” Gail said with a grin a few minutes before they were going to take the ice for the beginning of their first game of the season. Gail said it at the start of every season, but every player knew it was all but impossible to do it. It was a nice dream though, at least until they suffered their first loss.
“Going to introduce us to your new girlfriend, Wells?” Jen Hilton asked as she elbowed her in the back while walking past her.
“Everyone’s already met her, Hilton,” Kelly said with a wink for Savannah. “Well, everyone who matters anyway.”
A few people laughed, and Savannah held back a smile at the way Hilton’s cheeks turned red. She was obviously pissed, and Savannah would no doubt have to deal with her at some point, but since Court was traded, Hilton had pretty much kept to herself. She knew people blamed her for their captain being traded, but a couple of years gone from it, she was beginning to be a little more vocal again. Maybe she thought enough time had passed and they’d gotten over the way things went down. It was Hilton’s blatant homophobia that had gotten her into trouble before, so Savannah wasn’t surprised the first thing out of her mouth was some snide comment about her girlfriend.
“Everyone who was at Court’s wedding met her,” Savannah said. She stood and grabbed her helmet before pointedly looking in Hilton’s direction. “They’re the people who matter.”
“I would never go to a fake wedding,” Hilton shot back as she took a couple of steps toward her. Savannah stood her ground and was well aware of all the eyes on them. She was named captain of the team after Court left, and this interaction would no doubt serve to set the tone for the entire season.
“I’m not nearly as laid-back as Court was, Hilton,” Savannah said, her tone even. She didn’t want an altercation, but she needed to let her know she wasn’t going to back down if Hilton insisted on riding her the way she did Court. “So you might want to keep your bigoted opinions to yourself.”
Savannah secured her helmet as everyone waited for the response, but Hilton obviously knew she was outnumbered. Court and Lana had sent a group invitation to the entire team
for their wedding, and Jen Hilton was the only one who hadn’t attended. As far as Savannah was concerned, that alone should have let her know she was the lone minority in the locker room.
“Whatever,” Hilton muttered as she walked away from her. Savannah let out a relieved breath and grabbed her gloves.
“Wells,” Gail said from her office door. “A quick word?”
“I won’t let her push me this year, Coach,” Savannah said after closing the door behind her.
“And I wouldn’t expect you to,” Gail said. “I only wanted to thank you for the way you handled the situation. I just want to make sure nothing turns physical.”
“It won’t, as long as she doesn’t start anything.”
“I guess I can’t ask for anything more.” Gail nodded and motioned for her to head back out and join the team, who were heading out to the ice.
Savannah hit the ice to cheers from the crowd. She raised her stick in the air in acknowledgment as she rounded the ice behind the Warriors net. Kelly caught up to her and gave her a playful nudge with her shoulder.
“There’s nothing like the love from the fans on opening night, is there?” she asked.
“Certainly gets the blood pumping.” Savannah knew she was grinning from ear to ear, as was Kelly. The roar of the crowd always had the same effect. The adrenaline started flowing, and they all felt invincible. “I love this.”
Savannah, Kelly, Alex, and two defensive players stayed at center ice when the rest of the team headed to the bench since they were starting the game. Savannah closed her eyes and took in a deep breath as the national anthem started, and she felt her heart racing. Damn, this feeling was amazing. It never grew old in her eyes. When the anthem was over, the crowd began cheering again, and the starting five skaters swarmed the goalie, Charlotte Greene. They all whacked her pads with their sticks in a good luck gesture, and then they headed to center ice for the opening face-off.
Face Off Page 10
