by Maci Dillon
“Doesn’t change anything, Chloe?” he growled at me, his tone filled with disbelief. Hands on his hips, he bowed his head. I had no idea what ran through his mind.
“You don’t suppose this information would have helped me to deal with all this?” he questioned, as he lifted his head to seek my answer. His stare was hard and cold. “Not to have to imagine his hands on you every time I held you?”
I winced, knowing he was right.
I should have told him.
“I understand now,” I offered regretfully and moved closer to where he stood leaning against the back of the leather sofa. “We made it home, and I suggested he leave as I unlocked the door,” I added. “He kissed me, I pushed him away, and he left.”
“Why didn’t you tell me, Chloe?” Disappointment hung between us. “Things would have been so different. We wasted ten years on a lie, a misunderstanding.”
“In my mind, I cheated by bringing another guy home, Will. I deserved your anger and distrust,” I told him honestly. In my young mind, it was cut and dry. Black and white. Salt and pepper. I fucked up, and regret has followed me ever since.
“I wanted to talk about it. I even tried to explain what happened, but you were so set on forgetting it and moving on. I convinced myself your blind acceptance of me, of the situation, somehow secured our future. I was young and stupid. Naïve.” Too immature to acknowledge the mistake that would cost me my entire world.
I stepped toward him, ran my hands up his arms, and caressed his shoulders in a soothing motion to alleviate the tension that crept in.
“You should have told me.”
He leaned into my chest, letting his head rest lightly beneath my chin, the sofa supporting his weight.
“I believed you fucked him, and still I forgave you. I assumed we would work through it. And fuck me if I didn’t try my hardest to forget.”
And he did.
He shouldn’t have, but he chose to put it all aside and move on.
“What you forgot is…” I pause, searching for the right words as he straightened up to listen, “… I loved you, Will. It’s only ever been you.” A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek as the man I once loved, and maybe always will, closed his eyes and allowed his head to fall back in defeat.
“Baby.” A strangled whisper broke the silence which had fallen over us.
“I was a coward. Too scared to unwrap the details. I should have let you explain.” He looked down at me and wiped the tears from my chin with his thumb. “I wanted so badly to forget, my only desire and focus was to fight for you. To give you no reason to turn to anyone else again. I should have fought for you after the night of our engagement party. What we had was worth fucking fighting for.”
Yes, it was.
I couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud. My lips trembled, overcome with the force of holding the flood gates closed.
I’ve always believed we were worth the fight.
But why should I have been the one to fight for us after he assaulted me? He should have shown up to beg for my forgiveness.
“I can only assume you blamed yourself for my actions, but Chloe…” pausing, he looked directly into my eyes and continued, “… I had no right raising my fist to you. It sickened me, knowing what I had done, who I was in that moment.”
It was hard to ignore the fact his actions were a result of my earlier ones.
I had broken his trust and allowed doubt to flood the purity of our love.
Accepting this, I stood still while tears of regret and loss streamed down my face.
Will needed to say the words which had consumed him all these years, and I waited.
As he caressed my face, I saw him struggle with what to say next. “I never should have left, Chloe. I owed it to you, to us, to make things right.”
He stood and pulled me into his chest. He folded his arms around me and rested his head on mine. Wrapped in his embrace, I was aware of his shaky exhale and the rhythmic beat of his heart against my shoulder.
“I never expected you to forgive me, I still don’t… but I should have been there to comfort you, to try. I never stopped loving you, not for a second. But I hated me, and I let it rule my actions. I hid from reality and avoided life.”
Will pulled back, his hands cupped my face, and his eyes penetrated deep into my soul. “I stopped living. I spent my weekends drinking alone, fought when I did go out, and brooded in my own self-pity. I fucking hated myself for what I did to you. I failed to fight for the one thing in my life I never doubted. My love for you.”
Tears flooded his eyes, and my heart splintered into a thousand pieces.
How did we allow this to happen?
“No, don’t.” I held two fingers to his mouth to silence him.
“It’s been too long. Nothing you say can give us back the years we lost. There are no words to justify the guilt I hold for neglecting to be honest with you or any way to change the actions which occurred as a result. None of it matters anymore.”
“It matters to me, Chloe. You didn’t make me hit you. I was weak and let my temper and jealousy get the better of me. There was no fucking reason for it, I just mentally snapped.”
I wiped at his tears with my thumbs.
“No excuse,” he muttered and pressed his face into my palm. “I fucked up, and I will regret it for the rest of my life.”
My heart ached for him, for us.
For what was lost.
“If it weren’t for the fucking order, I wouldn’t have hesitated to be there for you, Chloe.” He peered down at me, his eyes full of sorrow. “I regret I didn’t contact you despite of it.”
“Me, too,” I whispered. “I needed you, Will.” I grabbed his hand, desperate to hold him. “I couldn’t understand why you weren’t there for me. Nobody told me about the order until days after I woke up.” I shook my head in despair.
“I was so angry with the police, all I wanted was to go home to you.” My eyes closed, and a sob escaped my mouth. “When I went home, you’d already gone.”
“Little one, I…”
“There’s one thing I don’t grasp, Will.” He squeezed my hand and waited silently for me to continue. “When the order expired and you were free to make contact with me without any repercussions, why didn’t you?”
That’s the question that kept me awake most often.
“Believe me, I considered it. Every fucking day before and after.” I held my breath, expecting him to tell me about Amanda. “I wish I had an answer for you, baby, but I don’t. I’m sorry.”
I let out a sigh, feeling disappointed. Obviously, he wasn’t going to tell me about her. I had to accept there was never going to be more than tonight.
And it’s okay.
It had to be.
“I forgive you, Will.” I threw my arms around him and hugged him close and pretended for a moment I never had to let him go.
Together, we let go of the tears, the hurt, and the regrets we’d been holding on to for far too long.
I honestly forgave Will for putting me in the hospital and walking away. I believed he did what he assumed was right or what he was capable of doing at the time. I understood, but I’d never forget.
I finally accepted I was not deserving of his assault, nor was my life to be defined by it.
I was worthy.
All these years, so much pain and regret. Add to it the bad decisions I’d made at every turn because I believed I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s love. And yet, all I needed to hear were those five words.
I was worth fighting for.
With those words, he released me from my personal prison. If tonight ended at this moment, it would be enough.
Enough to continue with life, knowing I was worthy.
Worthy of love.
Worthy of a happily ever after.
I was worth fighting for.
Chapter Eleven
Insatiable Need
“She’s a thunderstorm, loves to dance in the rain. A chaotic gir
l, addicted to pain. An insatiable desire to self-destruct. Once I felt her lips on mine, I knew I was fucked.” ~ Unknown
CHLOE
Perhaps an apology was all the closure I needed, but the night wasn’t over yet.
“I forgive you too, Chloe. For everything,” Will whispered into my hair.
I stepped back from our embrace and was swept up in my desire for this man. My body ached for him, and my heart needed one last moment to hold on to. I desperately wanted to rewrite our ending.
Tonight, I had an opportunity to close those wounds and finally get on with my life. One night is all we had, and I refused to waste another minute of it crying.
“We have two choices, Will. Either you leave now, with everything out in the open, or you stay, and we spend one last night together. What do we do?” I posed the question knowing full well it would cripple me if he denied me this night.
I focused my attention on Will’s hands as he popped open the top button of his jeans and pulled the zipper down to release the pressure from his rock-hard erection.
His delicious ‘V’ drew me to the thin trail of hair leading beneath his boxer shorts. My tongue darted out across my lips and left behind a wet trail of need, my desire to taste him suddenly so thick I struggled for air.
I returned my gaze to his handsome face and looked for confirmation this was what he wanted.
He nodded. His eyes were still glassy from his earlier tears.
I took a step toward him. I hooked my fingers in the belt loops on either side of his jeans and slowly assisted their descent to the floor and discarded his boxers with them in one movement.
Time was of the essence, and we had a decade to make up for. His erection sprang free from its confines, and I was lost to my insatiable need for him.
When he called yesterday and once the shock passed, I was convinced I needed tonight with him more than my next breath. Granted, we were talking dinner, not a night of passion. But now, it would be a shame to waste the opportunity.
I leaned in, placed a kiss at the base of his throat, and seductively traced a trail of kisses down his chest. “I don’t want to waste another minute talking about regrets and mumbling apologies which do nothing but remind us of the pain and hurt.”
I continued to kiss his abdominals, his hands placed at the side of my head and held me in place. “Instead, let’s indulge in the passion we once had.”
“Mmm.” Will gripped my shoulders and pushed me down until I kneeled before him.
“Sweet fuck.” Will groaned out a string of curses as I wrapped my fist around the base of his gorgeous, generous-sized cock. I moved my hand slowly up and down his shaft until his hips bucked forward looking for more.
A bead of pre-cum seeped out, and I glanced up at Will, seeking his permission to take him in my mouth. “Fuck me with your dirty mouth, Chloe.”
Juices trickled from my folds beneath my little black dress as I lapped at his glistening cock, and swirled my tongue playfully around the head before I closed my lips around him and sucked his length all the way to the back of my throat.
“Ahh, yes, baby.” Will’s grip tightened in my hair, and I continued to fuck him faster as he guided me perfectly over his cock. “Missed your beautiful mouth, little one.”
His balls were heavy in my hand. I squeezed as they pulled up toward the base of his cock. A growl erupted from his throat and sparked the fireworks in my core once again, sending waves of delicious heat to my clit.
I moaned around his erection as he continued to pump into my mouth, and my fingers fluttered beneath my dress in search of the throbbing bundle of nerves urgently seeking relief.
Will clearly had other ideas.
Swiftly, he pulled me from my kneeling position in front of him and ravished my mouth, took possession of it, and I allowed him. I wanted him to take what he desired tonight, so when we parted ways in the morning, we would be whole again.
“A decade since I stroked your sweet little pussy, Chloe.” He spun me around, so my back was against his front. Shivers ran through my body as Will traced a path up the inside of my thigh toward the out-of-control party between my legs.
“Ten years without tasting your sweet juices, little one. I won’t let you take what’s mine. Every orgasm will belong to me tonight.”
A strong forearm slipped around the front of my shoulders, firm across my chest, and I’m grateful for the stability. Especially when Will found my swollen clit, without a trace of panties, and thrust a couple of fingers deep into my weeping pussy without warning.
Lips teased my ear as he whispered, “You always wear short fuck-me dresses with no panties, little one?”
My body shook around his penetrating fingers, my mind was an abyss. “Only… only for you, Will,” I stammered with as much control as possible while I writhed against his fingers, desperate for more of him.
“You want my cock inside of you?” His fingers stopped their assault as quickly as they began, and I was left panting while my body screamed for more. “Is this what you need? Tell me.” Kisses graced the base of my neck and followed the path of the zipper on my dress.
Will took his time undressing me.
Teasing me.
“Answer me,” he growled.
Huh? Oh.
“Yes, I need you inside me. Now.”
A wicked chuckle at the base of my spine reminded me of the many weekends spent locked up in our little townhouse fucking like rabbits until neither of us had the energy to walk. “There’s the girl I love.”
Love.
I told myself it was a slip of the tongue, a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing. He most likely didn’t even register what he said.
“Ow!” I jump at the sting on my shoulder, instantly aware I now stood naked in the center of the room. When had that happened? My dress was bunched at my ankles and my bra cast to the side where it must have fallen from my arm while my mind was elsewhere.
“Stop overthinking it, Chloe. I said love because I mean it.” He sweetly kissed the place his teeth had sunk into my tender skin. “You’ll always own the part of me capable of loving.”
Suddenly, he stood in front of me, the same emotions in his eyes I couldn’t place before—longing for a love that once was.
“You’re the one for me, Chloe. My one true love. Even if tonight is the only night we have together for the rest of eternity, it won’t ever change.”
Despite my best efforts, tears pooled in my eyes as my heart began to beat to a new song. I squeezed my eyes shut, and tears of love and acceptance of our situation spilled over.
Lips covered the small rivers that cascaded down my face, and moans of appreciation floated up from my chest as Will licked and sucked his way from my face to my breasts. He took each nipple alternately into his mouth while he paid particular attention to the other with his talented fingers and twisted and pulled.
I threaded my hands through his thick, wavy hair and roughly pushed him down my body to where my pussy juices coated the insides of my thighs.
Will resisted. “Hold on.”
In one swift movement, he had me off the floor, my legs wrapped around his waist and my ankles linked together at the base of his spine. As he strode purposefully toward the bedroom, I marveled at his abs and the muscles in his lean thighs flexing beneath me as he moved. The tip of his cock softly tapped my entrance with the forward motion of each step. I groaned out loud when his step altered off course to move into the bedroom, and his cock hit my over-sensitive clit.
“Mmm… you like that, little one?”
I sunk my teeth into the crook of his neck with enough pressure to show him exactly how turned on I was. With my tongue, I traced an imaginary line along the side of his throat up and over his day-old stubble and nibbled my way along his chin, teasing him until he couldn’t stand it any longer or we arrived at our destination.
He unwrapped me from his body and placed me on the bed. I laid there and relished the way he stared at me as if no other soul in
this world would ever affect him this way.
Moonlight seeped through the sliding glass doors that led to the balcony, casting a romantic mood over our dirty plans for the rest of the evening. Through every movement, his eyes held me hostage. He gently caressed my ankles, the pressure forced my knees apart and back toward my hips, and he spread me wide for him.
Open for Will and all the pleasure only he could deliver.
My hips squirmed in anticipation, and my eyes still locked on his. Will’s eyes were cast down and stared hungrily at my pussy, the smell of my arousal thick in the air. His nostrils flared, and his tongue darted out to swipe at his lower lip.
“Will. Please,” I begged unabashedly.
He grunted in response. The bed dipped as he kneeled between my thighs and lowered his face to my unbelievably sensitive pussy. Finally, his tongue moved into action, flattened out over my folds as he moved at a painstakingly slow rate from the back to front.
“Intoxicating. So fucking good, Chloe,” he murmured into the fire between my thighs.
I whimpered in response to the invasion of his tongue as it darted in and out of my entrance. The sensation forced my hips to buck off the bed and grind against his face.
Will released his hold on my legs, positioned them over his shoulders, used his now free hands to spread my folds, which allowed him greater access to lap at my heat. When his fingers replaced his tongue, he showed no mercy.
His digits pumped into me harder and faster and as deep as humanly possible. My inner walls contracted around them, desperate for release. Will kept working them in and out, rough and unapologetic. Eyes focused on mine, and his tongue flicked with impressive vigor over the hardened bundle of nerves until my hips moved uncontrollably.
“So sweet, little one. I want to eat your hot little pussy all day.”
My heels dug into his back and supported me as my ass came off the bed, and my hips gyrated into his face.
“That’s it, baby, show me what I’ve been missing.” My fingers twisted in his sweaty hair. I held him right where I needed him, and rode out the best fucking orgasm of my life.