by J. P. Comeau
I shot him a look. “I get it, okay?”
He grinned. “Glad we’re on the same page.”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or be pissed. So, I decided to throw back the rest of my wine. He chuckled, and the sound dripped over me like warm butter over bread. I raised my finger to signal the waiter. He refilled my wine glass, and I figured, to hell with it. If I racked up a bill of three hundred bucks on drinks alone, the charge on my credit card would be worth it.
Especially if I had to sit next to Zane all night.
“So, how’s the job search going?” I felt Roxy’s hands slip down my arms as she settled her chin on my shoulder. “Found anything yet?”
I looked over at her. “No. I haven’t.”
Zane turned to face me. “Didn’t realize you were looking for a job.”
“Oh, yeah,” Roxy nodded, “she’s been applying everywhere. I would’ve figured something would have snagged by now, though… Not even any interviews?”
I shook my head. “Nope.”
Kelly’s voice piped up behind us. “Remind me again what kind of job you’re looking for?”
“Something desk-related. It’s about the only common thing working in Human Resources has with most other jobs,” I explained.
Zane leaned forward, interested. “So, you’re good with answering phones? Filling out paperwork?”
My eyes slowly slid over to him. “Yeah. You could say I’m good at it.”
Roxy giggled. “Oh, do we ever need to talk.”
Kelly hopped up on the side of the table, facing me. “You worked at a plant or something before, right?”
“A manufacturing plant, yes. I was the head of their H.R. department. You know, until they closed down.”
Kelly reached for an olive. “Nice. And there’s nothing like that around here?”
I shook my head. “Not for manufacturing, anyway. I’m searching for anything desk-related that’s full-time. Receptionist work. Secretarial work.”
“Secretarial work?” Zane questioned.
Roxy shushed him this time. “What kind of jobs have you been applying for?”
Kelly swung her legs. “If you need a character reference or something, you know Daddy can give you one.”
“And so can I,” Roxy said, before kissing my cheek.
I smiled. “I know, guys. I know. I just… I’m trying to do this my way.”
Kelly rolled her eyes. “You always try to do it your way, and it always blows up in your face.”
“Thanks for that,” I said with a smirk.
Roxy stood. “I mean, it’s true. You’ve always been stubborn like that. You never want to accept help, or assistance, or anything like that. You’re always quick to help, but quick to push people away when you need help.”
Kelly cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. “Yeah. Why is that?”
I leaned back against my chair. “Well, happy birthday, Kelly!”
She giggled. “You’re not getting out of this that easily.”
“Is that why you moved to Vegas? Because you got laid off?” Zane butted in.
“Way to jab the knife in there, homeslice.” Roxy murmured.
Zane shook his head. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just trying to find out a little bit more. You know, the Vegas job market isn’t like other job markets. There are other things people look for in a resume. Buzz words that stop their eye on your application and really give you consideration. If you want, I can--.”
I snapped at him. “I’ve gotten myself this far in life, and I have a plan if it doesn’t work. If I can’t do it, then it’s not meant to be. But, thanks anyway.”
“Yikes.” Kelly pursed her lips.
Then Roxy whistled through her teeth. “Well, if you decide to be a little less bitchy about the topic, let me know. Yeah? Because needing help isn’t all that bad. Is it, Zane?”
I stared at him, flatly as he turned his head toward me.
“Depends on the help,” he said.
I nodded. “Exactly.”
10
Zane
As much as I wanted to be annoyed by the way Karina was acting, it was honestly kind of cute. She wrinkled her nose every time she looked over at me. But, when she thought I wasn’t watching? She had this look of guilt in her eye. That told me enough. That told me that Karina felt bad about abandoning me at her own place without a second thought. So, the bulk of our interactions were more for my enjoyment than hers.
And oh, how I relished it.
“So, how was your day?”
Karina shrugged. “I really don’t even know how to answer that question.”
“Well, start with your morning, then. How did that go?”
She slowly looked over at me, and I tried my hardest not to laugh. The horror that rushed behind her eyes mixed with the downturn of her lips made me want to chuckle until I couldn't breathe. Karina was much too easy to annoy. And that was never good with someone like me.
I didn’t want to torture the poor girl, though. “You know, my morning went pretty well.”
She blinked. “Enlighten me.”
“I got to have coffee and breakfast out. I woke up in this amazing bed. I really should go back sometime and figure out what kind of mattress I slept on. I’d like one for my own place,” I told her.
“Couldn’t help you there. The house is a partially-furnished rental.”
“All the more reason for me to go back and take a look, then.”
I winked at her, and her entire face lit up with red. Not quite an angry red, though. However, she was perturbed with my picking. Karina looked more embarrassed than anything. And while I wanted to know the actual reason behind her leaving me there alone, it wasn’t as if I hadn’t done it to my fair share of women.
Hey. I kept company with a woman when it suited me. That was my style, okay?
Just not overnight.
“You can be honest with me, though, right?” I asked.
Her eyes locked onto her menu. “Please, Zane. Not here.”
I grinned. “You’re cute when you beg.”
“Is this how it’s going to be all night?” She let out a ragged sigh.
“Hey, you’re the one who sat down beside me.”
“My friends seated me here.”
“And you're not chained to that chair. You’ve got an entire table you can move to.” He nodded around at the empty chairs.
“I’m not going to cause a scene by getting up and going to sit by myself. This isn’t about me. Just like it’s not about you right now.” She shot me a pinning look, and all I wanted to do was kissed those pursed lips of hers.
I liked how she stood up to me. Most women didn’t do that. They simply bowed down and became ‘yes’ girls just to get their grimy hands on my wallet. I liked it.
No, I loved it.
I loved her spunk.
“Well, if you don’t want to tell me about your morning, why don’t you tell me about the rest of your day?” I asked.
“Like you care,” she murmured.
“What if I do?”
“Excuse me, miss. I’m just coming around to take orders. Do you know what you might like to eat this evening?” The waiter stood behind us.
Karina’s eyes held mine. “I’d like your steak, please. Medium rare. With the brussel sprouts and mashed potatoes.”
I nodded approvingly. “That sounds fantastic. I’ll have the same.”
She rolled her eyes. “You would.”
The waiter smiled. “Wonderful. Anything for dessert? Or to drink?”
Karina scooped up her wine glass. “An entire bottle of wine to myself, please.”
I chuckled. “You can put that on my tab as well. Whatever you have that blends well with our meals. I trust you with the choice.”
She shot me a look. “I can pay for my own drinks.”
I shrugged. “Tough.”
She glared at me, and all I did was eat it up. I reached for my own wine glass and sipped it, my eyes
never once falling away from her. I snuck in another cheeky wink, and she huffed, finally turning her gaze away from me.
But, every once in awhile, I saw her peek over at me.
Watching my every move.
People came and went from the party. They stayed long enough to enjoy the drinks Kelly’s father purchased for the table, but they left before ordering food. I knew that crowd all too well. They came for the free fun, not because they felt any real emotional attachment to anyone involved. Still, Kelly seemed to be eating it up. And the times Karina did smile with her friends, it was wonderful to watch.
She had a beautiful smile.
Though, part of me wondered what she might look like with her mouth stuffed full of me.
“So, what's with the cold shoulder?” Brenden’s voice sounded in my ear before he sat in Karina’s seat. I immediately wanted to drag him out of it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said.
He picked up Karina’s wine glass. “Oh, come on. That girl’s been glaring at you all night. What did you do to Kelly and Roxy’s friend?”
I snatched the glass from his hand. “Not yours. Hers.”
His eyebrows rose. “Wow. Already getting defensive. Admit it. You like her, don’t you? And you hate that she doesn’t like you back.”
I wasn’t about to tell him what happened. “Whatever it is, it’s her issue.”
Brenden barked with laughter. “Spoken like a man who’s got it bad.”
I shot him a look before I peered over his shoulder. I saw Karina blink a few times as she studied Brenden in her seat. I racked my brain for a way to get him up. A way to get him out of the way so she could come sit back down next to me. But, Karina was quick to move. And soon, I watched her sit beside Kelly at the head of the table.
With multiple chairs’ worth of a distance between us.
Just grand.
The party dragged on, and I ate my food in silence. Brenden kept rattling my ear off about how great Kelly looked in that pathetic excuse for a dress. I didn’t see the appeal, though. Not that Kelly wasn’t a pretty girl. She was easy on the eyes. But, I never enjoyed my women showing off all their bodies had to offer to an entire room of prying eyes. Nevertheless, I finished my food and picked up the tab on the bottle of wine Karina practically chugged down at the end of the table. I left a decent tip, told Brenden I’d see him Monday morning, then I took myself on home.
But, that didn’t mean Karina’s memory left me alone.
I couldn't get her off my mind. And trust me, it had been a very long time since something like that happened to me. I fell asleep with her on my mind. I woke up with her on my mind. Even as I made my way into my home office to get some work done, I had her on my mind.
The second I dropped into my buttery leather chair in my home office, though, my eyes fell to her picture.
Her.
The woman who haunted me.
The one I’d never get back.
I reached for the picture and picked it up. I leaned back in my chair as my robe fell from around my waist. With my chest exposed and my legs stretched out, I leaned my head back, gazing up at the picture as I held it high above my head.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
You’re not ready for this. You never will be.
And with the pain that rushed through the marrow of my bones, I sat back up. I placed the picture back down on top of my desk and pushed away all thoughts of Karina. She was a good lay, and nothing more. I didn’t have the capacity to give her more, not that she wanted it in the first place. I had to stay focused on work. I had to keep my eyes on the prize.
So, I started up my desktop computer and lost myself in a sea of emails.
All the while, wondering if either of the girls might give me Karina’s number if I begged hard enough.
11
Karina
My eyes eased open, and I sighed, staring up at the ceiling. Monday morning had never felt so good in all my life. For once, I was glad to have the weekend over. Because while I had a great time with my friends, I was bewildered about the issue of Zane.
Including how he treated me at the birthday party.
It was almost as if he had been poking at me just to get a rise out of me. And I didn’t like that one bit. My high school sweetheart used to pull that shit to get underneath my skin because he enjoyed ‘how my nose crinkled’ when I got upset. I rolled over and stared at my cell phone. Part of me wanted to pick it up, but the other part of me knew I wasn’t prepared for all of the rejection emails I was sure I had in my inbox at this point.
That just means you need to put in more applications.
I groaned as I lifted myself out of bed. Stacking my hair into a messy bun at the crown of my head, I snatched up my phone. Then I stumbled downstairs and managed to put on a pot of coffee before I gazed out the window. The dark clouds hovering lowly in the sky forecasted the kind of day this might be.
While most people didn’t like thunderstorms, I loved them. Overcast weather was soothing for me, and the perfect weather to stay inside and take things slow. I smiled at the sound of thunder in the distance. Then, I walked over and struck my laptop up as small flashes of lightning cascaded through my windows. I drew in a deep breath, the smell of coffee filling my nose. As I hunted down a clean mug for me to use, the rain started softly battering the window.
Of course, it quickly picked up the pace.
I giggled. “Perfect.”
I sat down at my laptop and sipped my black coffee, forcing myself to wake up. I knew I could spend the afternoon curled up with a good movie, but my morning had to be dedicated to more job applications. I girded myself before opening my email. My eyes bulged at the seventeen I had in my inbox. Undoubtedly, one of those emails had to hold good news.
The more I clicked around, though, the more I found the exact opposite.
We regret to inform you…
While your application was wonderful…
We feel you are much too qualified…
The position has already been filled.
I leaned back against the kitchen chair and closed my eyes. Okay. So. My approach obviously wasn’t working. That simply meant I had to try something new. Something catchy. Something to grab their attention.
Like Zane told you to do.
I suddenly wished I hadn’t shut him up on Saturday.
With a deep breath in through my mouth, I picked my head up and exhaled through my nose. I didn’t have the time to wallow in self-pity. I had to keep pushing forward. After setting my mug of coffee down and altering the search parameters again, I opened up all of the jobs I hadn’t yet submitted an application to and sorted them by ‘want.’ Which one I wanted the most to which one I wanted the least. Then, I opened up my resume in Word.
“All right. You can do this. Let’s figure this out.”
I tried sprucing up the language in my resume a little bit. Instead of my former title being ‘Head of Human Resources’, I changed it to ‘Director of Employee Benefits.’ Instead of saying things like ‘organized’ and ‘never late,’ I wrote words such as ‘systematic’ and ‘pointed.’ It was business, after all. As much as I didn’t want to be a cog in the machine, I had to become one if I wanted to get placed back into that machine.
After redoing my entire resume, I started to submit it.
“Here goes nothing,” I murmured.
I sent them off, one after another until ten applications had been put in. Even if I thought the job was much too advanced for my skills, I still applied. Even if I thought I’d hate the work, I still submitted my things. Because as fun as it might be to sit around there doing nothing, I needed a job. I needed money.
And if I wanted to make that the next phase of my life work, I needed to keep working at it until someone hired me.
After three mugs of coffee and an assortment of fruit for breakfast, lunchtime came crashing down against my stomach. It growled to life, making me light-headed as I went
cross-eyed staring at my laptop screen. All right. That was enough tweaking and searching. I had a good amount of resumes out there in the ethers. All I could do at that point was wait.
At least it’s still raining outside.
I closed my laptop and stood up from the kitchen table. The storm continued raging. I pulled out my favorite snacks from the pantry. Chips and salsa with sour cream to mix in, a jar of pickles, and a small bag of crunchy M&Ms. I rummaged around in the fridge for a drink before settling on my favorite soda, then plopped myself directly in front of the television. I didn’t even bother getting my phone. I knew I wouldn't hear back from anyone so soon.
Until I heard it ringing less than an hour later.
“What the--?”
I abandoned my junk food extravaganza. Muting my television, I raced back into the kitchen and looked down at my phone, expecting to see Kelly or Roxy calling me. But, instead, I found a number I didn’t recognize flashing in front of my eyes.
And my hands began to shake.
It can’t be.
“This is Karina Rosehill,” I said as I picked up.
“Hello, Miss Rosehill! My name is Carter, and I’m calling in regard to your resume.”
Butterflies fluttered. “Yes. Hello there. How are you this afternoon?”
“I’m wonderful. I’m sorry to barge in on your lunch hour, but I was hoping to take a few minutes of your time and explain to you a job position that just opened up a few days ago.”
I paused. “Sure. I’d love to hear about it.”
“Wonderful. So, just to be upfront, I’m a recruiter. A headhunter. You responded to an ad I had--.”
“I believe I remember your ad.”
“Great! Okay. So, it’s a secretarial position for a real estate company in the heart of Vegas. It’s full-time, though it’s a little under your asking price.”
“How much under?”
“By about three thousand, but hear me out. The employer gives yearly raises to those who nail their yearly reviews. Anywhere from five hundred to two thousand dollars. So, I know I can negotiate your salary up to your asking price after that first year.”
