“You don’t want me to make love to you anymore?” I asked, barely unable to breathe as I waited for her answer.
She looked into my eyes. “Yes, of course I want you.”
Sweet oxygen rushed back into my lungs. “For a moment I thought you didn’t want to be with me that way anymore. You know, after learning about who I am.”
“You are mine, remember? I love you.” She said, cupping my cheeks in her hands, and kissed me.
“Then, what is it?” I whispered, still confused.
“I don’t want you to change. Don’t hide yourself from me again. Please… I want to be with you, the real you.”
My lips curved into a small smile as I looked at her, awed. “I love you, Star, and I love hearing that, but I have to change in order to be with you, otherwise I could truly hurt you. We won’t fit as we should.”
Gaby blinked a few times, perplexed with my words, until understanding finally reached her. Her gaze roamed my body and I let go of the transformation I had paused, so she could fully see me in my Fae form, and size. She gasped, eyes widening, once they reached my thighs. Before knowing her, I would have probably made a stupid and highly inappropriate comment about my size, but I didn’t care about those things anymore. She had changed so much of who I was.
I brought Gaby’s hand to my lips, kissing it, while she observed me. I allowed her time to examine my body and recognize my concern, watching the intensity in her desire for me increase, the longer she regarded me. When she looked into my eyes once again, she pulled me closer, pressing her body against mine. She gasped, feeling all of me, and small pants escaped her lips as her need grew even more. The back of my fingers gently caressed her cheek, and I kissed her lips, beginning to change again.
“No, Ash. Please, don’t.”
I sighed. “Gaby, I need to change. Otherwise I can’t make love to you. I just felt how tight it is inside you, and I know I will hurt you if I remain like this.”
“But I want to see you like this. The way you truly are.” She almost whined and I smiled. “Um, is there a way that you can just, you know, change one thing? Like down there.” She bit her lip embarrassed, and her eyes suddenly widened. “But not too much though.”
I laughed. Damn, I loved this woman.
“Baby, I’ve been preparing my whole life for this moment.”
Gaby squealed when I jumped on her, turning our bodies so that I lay on hers. I brushed my lips against hers while her legs wrapped around my hips, and I pressed my body even closer. Our hips flushed as I began to transform, becoming smaller. She moaned, feeling me move against her while I “adjusted” for her, and I grinned.
“Once I’m inside you, let me know when to stop.” I whispered on her lips, looking into her half lidded eyes. “I want to be exactly how you want me, Star.” She nodded, panting.
My lips lightly nibbled and sucked their way down her neck as I shifted my hips, sliding to her entrance. “Ready?”
“Yes,” she breathed, then moaned when I slowly pushed into her.
“Damn, Gaby. I love the way it feels inside you,” I groaned in pleasure. Because she was human, her body had no barriers for me. She was absolutely perfect. I began to change again, growing inside of her, expecting her to tell me when to stop.
“More,” she moaned, while I sucked her bottom lip, giving her exactly what she wanted. “Yes! That’s it. That’s it.” She moaned, clinging to me. I smiled against her lips, kissing her passionately.
My hips began to rock into her and all amusement was gone. Moans erupted from both of us as she stroked me with every movement. I didn’t care that she wasn’t my ‘fated’. I doubted anyone else could feel as flawless as she did. My lips found their way to her breasts as tremors rocked my body, but I wasn’t afraid. This was me, the real me, making love to my Star, nothing could go wrong. My lips closed over her nipple, sucking it while her legs trembled around me.
“Yes, Star. Feel me, baby. Give everything to me.”
I picked up my pace, giving all I had to her while she contracted around me. Her warmth alone was going to break me. I claimed her lips, my arms wrapping around her and bringing her impossibly closer. Our bodies rubbed against the other, slithering due to the oil, which added delicious sensations to an already mind blowing, sensory experience. Gaby and I were both panting as we kissed, nibbling, biting, and devouring each other while we made love; clinging to the other as we neared the edge. Surges of pleasure rushed down my spine and through my gut, making me jerk inside her, and forcing ragged moans to escape her lips.
I held Gaby tighter as my hips desperately drove into her. Her nails gripped my shoulders and I bit her neck. The universe exploded around us, and then we were both falling over the edge, and into the most glorious abyss we had ever experienced—a moan ripping, body spasming, soul breaking, and all consuming ecstasy induced abyss.
I held myself to the bed, trying to not collapse on top of her as we gasped for air. I didn’t dare move out of her, I couldn’t. The waves of pleasure still plummeted into me and I was unable to think. We could barely breathe. Gaby shook under me, her legs still wrapped around my waist, locked in place, unwilling to let me go. Our hearts slammed against our chests in unison, and I had never heard such a sweet sound. Gaby was mine, she was finally mine, and no one was going to rip her from me.
“I claim you.” I whispered against her lips, and they curved into a lazy grin, eyes still closed.
“I’ve been yours since the first time you smirked at me, big boy.”
I chuckled, and heard her moan as our bodies moved. “Mmm. Damn it, Star. You are perfect. You feel perfect around me and you are mine. I claim you.”
“I claim you too, Ash. You belong to me.”
“Now and forever.”
KYR
* * *
“Were you able to reach them?”
Avrielle’s voice came through, and I let go of the connection I had created, feeling my energy awareness become softer, almost taking residence in the back of my mind as a low humming; except it wasn’t dormant but very much alive and pulsing. Unlike before, I no longer called onto my ability when I thought it was ‘needed’, it was always here, present and latent within me. It had barely been over two weeks, but the more I accessed my power, the stronger it became inside me.
I opened my eyes and my gaze settled on my queen. Reaching for her hands, I interlaced our fingers. “I successfully connected with Nyx’s mind, he is in the Eternal Outlands, in Theo’s castle, but I wasn’t able to let him hear me. His mind was rushing with information and distress, as though he had just discovered something life altering. He was anxious, and I could feel his anguish, Avrielle. Something is wrong.”
Her brows gathered as she dissected my words, and I couldn’t stop my eyes from admiring the beautiful crown that now adorned her forehead.
“Do you think he might have found out about the Dark King not being your father? His father?”
My eyes focused on hers and I reluctantly nodded. “There is no doubt in my mind that Nyx already figured that out, but I’m not entirely sure if what I felt had to do with that or something else. He seemed tortured.” My hold on her hands tightened as I let out a deep breath.
“What about Ash? Were you able to contact him?”
I repressed a shudder and nodded. “Yes. Nevertheless, I left his mind as soon as I entered it.”
“Why, what happened?
I cringed. “He was having sex.”
Avrielle’s laugh rang through the chambers we shared within the temple, and I couldn’t help but chuckle, delighted at the sound.
“Well, at least he hasn’t lost the spark that makes him, Ash.”
Grinned, I kissed her lips, and walked past her to the vanity. I finished brushing my hair, while Avrielle moved behind me. My eyes focused on her through the mirror. “Is something the matter, my queen?”
She looked at the lavish room and shrugged. “Did the Dragons of the Temple have priests living among the
m? I think I remember that from our history lessons, but I was never engrossed by the subject, so I couldn’t be sure.” I frowned, unsure at the intention behind her question. “Doesn’t it seem strange to you that these chambers are within its walls? I mean, these aren’t servants’ quarters; they are much more elegant and spacious than anything I have ever seen. Even the royal chambers in the Winter Castle.”
I placed the brush down, frowning and turning to face her. “Nyx knows much more about this than I do, but if I’m not mistaken, the Holy Dragons didn’t believe in servants. The people that assisted them and took care of their needs were considered their family, and treated as such. I suppose there were priests here at one point or another, since the Holy Dragons exercised a perfect alliance with man.”
She nodded absentmindedly, and held my hand as I reached for her. “Come on, Avra is waiting for us.”
We walked through the hallways, and with each step, I noticed things I hadn’t seen before. It was as though Avrielle’s question had opened my mind. The detail and elegance of the temple was unlike anything that existed, I was sure. The attention to detail that had gone into every single aspect, was superb. The chandeliers and columns, the twenty-foot tall doorways, and even the depiction of our history and theirs on the walls were very specific. One of the carvings called my attention right before we reached the dining hall, and I briefly stopped. My hand absentmindedly lifted, my fingertips reaching for it. It depicted a man, much taller than a Fae; a large Temple Dragon sat regally behind him, in the shadows, and stars of different shapes and sizes floated all around them. The white Quartz that the image had been carved into sparkled, as though the stars were real.
Avrielle tugged my hand, and I smiled as my gaze connected with hers. “Beautiful isn’t it? It was said that the Holy Dragons were created by the Goddess to protect man. That is a beautiful representation of that. Don’t you think?”
“Of course.” I smiled, and allowed myself one last glance, before we continued on our way.
Before going into the dining hall for dinner with Ora and Kah, Avrielle and I walked into the main chamber of the temple to meet with Avra as he had requested of us, nevertheless, he was nowhere to be found. I stood in the center of the aisle, while Avrielle sat on one of the pews. I remained silent while my gaze roamed the balconies above us—on the second and third floors of the temple—and I went over everything that had occurred since this journey began. I had gone over every detail again and again, and I still felt like I was missing something crucial.
It didn’t help that the Dragon Lord still held me “captive” here in this temple. Whatever the reason was for which he needed me to remain, it was unclear. He hadn’t shared it with me yet, and it was taking all the patience that I had to continue waiting. The words Avra had shared with me rang true now more than ever.
Your intentions have always been virtuous, although his darkness seeped into you, clouding your judgment and giving you false ideals.
He was intent on ripping that “darkness” out of me, and a big part of my intense training with the Dragon Lord—although it seemed to be centered on my abilities—was with that purpose. The rage in me had died down, but my impatience was still taking a toll on me. There were still so many feelings that I had to reconcile, and not having Ash and Nyx by my side was messing with my mind.
“Hey, are you all right?” Avrielle’s voice brought me back to the present.
My body had become tensed, my fists clenched and unclenched while reflections of me stood all over the space. Holographic Projection. My eyes jumped from one to the other, while the rows of “Kyrs” around me flickered in and out of existence with my stress. They were at the altar, in between the pews, behind me in the aisle, and even along the corridors that led to the different chambers of the temple. Their forms were rigid, staring out into nothing like I was.
I took a deep breath and let go of the mental illusion I had unconsciously created, making them all disappear, until only I remained. Avrielle’s hand reached for me caringly and I sighed, focusing on her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. It was my subconscious. I guess Avra’s wishes are coming true. I’m using my abilities without even thinking about it,” I half joked, but she didn’t seem to appreciate my humor.
“What is happening, Kyr? Just talk to me, you can’t keep pretending that you are okay with everything that has happened.” I opened my mouth to speak, but stopped when she waved her finger at me. “And don’t you dare tell me that you are ‘handling it’, because this, Kyr,” she motioned all around her, referring to the ‘army of Kyrs’ that had just disappeared. “Doesn’t seem like ‘handling it’ to me!” She huffed and then sighed, defeated. “You’ve spent all this time worrying about my well being, but I’m fine, thanks to you. Now you need to realize that I’m here for you too. I need you to talk to me.”
“She’s right.” Avra’s voice entered my consciousness through our bond. We were always connected. “She’s yours now, and that means much more than just sharing a bed, my king. You must confide in Avrielle. She is your queen, and therefore, part of you.”
I cradled her cheeks in my hands, noticing how this was affecting her too. “I’m truly sorry. It was never my intention to disregard you, or keep you out of what I’m going through. I’m just so used to—”
“Being strong?” She interceded. “I know. But this is not the Winter Court.” She motioned between her and I. “You and I formed a new world the moment I opened up to you. One that is only ours. Where you don’t have to be strong if you are hurting, in which you can let your guard down, and show that you are vulnerable because you trust in us, and you know with absolute certainty that I will never take advantage of that.”
My heart responded to Avrielle as her hands caressed my chest on their way up, and she stepped closer, lovingly cupping my face. I held her waist as her crystal violet eyes shown brightly with the love she held for me.
“With me you don’t have to pretend to be the mighty commander, and the perfect man who never makes a mistake and can handle anything that is thrown at him. You can let me see your flaws, Kyr, because to me, they are as beautiful as you are. When you claimed me, ‘you and I’ was born. Please, put your trust in me, put your faith in me… I will never let you down.”
My lips crashed against hers, as the emotions her words awoke rushed through me. Avrielle was right. We formed a new world now, and I had to let her in. It was a hard habit to break, though, especially when you had spent a full life dealing with things on your own, when you had resigned yourself to being alone, and everyone depended on you. It was so easy for me to close myself up and bury my feelings down, where I never had to deal with them again. It was easy to immerse myself in a task to forget everything else—winning the next battle, or pleasing my king’s latest demand.
I walked to the closest pew and sat down, bringing Avrielle into my lap. My arms wrapped around her as her soft fingers caressed my cheek.
“The Dark King is not my father, but he took the time to raise me. For better or worse, he was there. He took no interest in my brothers, but he did in me. I grew up with the notion that I had to be like him. The king was a role model of sorts, in which to shape myself after.”
Avra’s emotions came through the bond, and I could feel his aversion to my words, as well as his pain. I knew that in that moment, he felt as though he had failed me, but I needed to be honest not only with Avrielle, my queen, but with him as my mentor, because he had always been there for me. I needed them both to hear this confession.
“I grew up doing everything in my power to be like him, fighting innate reactions, pushing feelings aside that would otherwise bring me further away from who he was, and who I was ‘supposed’ to be. I followed his every command without question, brought to fruition his every wish, and made myself his shadow, because I wanted to see the pride that shone through his eyes every time he looked at me. I was his son, the Commander of the Dark Army, and next in line for his throne. The perfec
t Kyr Gaerrath, who would one day rule with an iron fist like his father had. I prepared my whole life for that role, and in spite of it all, the first thing I felt when the Dragon Lord told me the Dark King was not my real father, was relief.”
Pure shock filtered through the bond as vivid as I saw it in Avrielle’s eyes, while shame exude from my every pore.
“It wasn’t because that meant that you could truly be mine. I felt relief because I wouldn’t have to be who everyone expected of me anymore.”
A raw emotion I couldn’t yet decipher replaced Avra’s shock through our bond, and Avrielle’s eyes welled up with tears, but I pushed myself to keep going.
“The second emotion I felt was pain. Pain, because all this time I did things that deep inside I knew were wrong, but I did them for him. I took the voice in the back of my head that told me not to, that implored me to abandon my feat, and pushed it so far down that it got lost in the same darkness the Dragon Lord sees in me, and is trying with everything he has to get rid of. And then I felt shame, because if the Dark King was not my father, it meant that no body but I forced me into this. I made myself into the same monster he was, because I thought that I had to. I am ashamed, because all I ever trained for, all I ever wanted was to be like him.”
The muscles in my body jerked, as I tried to contain my emotions.
“I made myself into this monster.”
“No, my love. You are not a monster.” Avrielle whispered, looking straight into my lost eyes, the tears spilled from her star-shaped lashes. “You are nothing like the Dark King. Do you hear? You are nothing like him.”
My fists trembled at her waist while I tried to believe her, but I feared it was futile. “I am, and now Avra is trying with all of his power to rip the monster from me, the one I created, but… I think is too late. I’m not sure that the voice I spent so much time burying is even there anymore. I don’t think I can be the ruler he needs me to be. And I am certain, I will never be the man that my real father would have wanted… whoever he is.” My voice faltered in the last sentence and I was forced to clear my throat, pushing the emotions away. “I have failed him.”
Broken Kingdom Page 20
