I knew I couldn’t just stand there all night so once I’d recovered I made my way out. The bridge crossed the river and connected to a major road. As I walked I tried to pick out landmarks, anything that would help me figure out where I was. I couldn’t even ask for directions back to the house, I didn’t know the street name. I just kept walking. I was so tired and hungry; I hadn’t eaten properly for two days. Eventually I found myself in an alley, where I saw a group of kids, maybe older than me by a few years. I was wary as I approached. They were huddled together sharing food from a bag. They stopped the eating and watched as I walked towards them.
“What the fuck do you want?” one asked.
He had a grubby face, matted hair and scowled at me with half-closed eyes. A cigarette hung from his lips and the smoke swirled around his face.
“Nothing, just somewhere to sleep,” I said.
“Go home then,” he replied.
“I can’t, it’s too far.”
“How far is too far.”
“New York too far,” I replied.
“Fuck, man, you came from New York to this shit-hole. When?” another kid said. He looked fairly friendly, well, he smiled when he spoke.
“A few days ago. I was staying with my sister’s friend but he got hauled away by the cops yesterday,” I said.
“Man, that’s tough. You can sleep over there,” he said, pointing to a doorstep beside a dumpster.
“He can fuck off,” the one with matted hair mumbled.
I made my way over and sat down. I hugged my knees to my chest for warmth and rested my head on my arms. For a while they ignored me, I listened to their chat and kept myself quiet.
“You hungry?” I heard.
I looked up, one of the boys, the friendly one, was staring at me so I nodded. He started to walk over with a bread roll in his hand.
“We haven’t got enough food as it is,” I heard.
“Give it a rest, Slider, he’s a newbie, we’ve all been there.”
“I’m Tom and over there is Pete and Slider. Don’t ask me why he calls himself Slider but you’d do well to stay out of his way.” Tom lowered his voice a little.
“He’s been on the streets a long time and mean as fuck,” he added.
He handed me the bread roll. “Thanks, I’m Travis,” I said as I stuffed it as fast as I could in my mouth. I was afraid it would be taken away.
Slider was the one with the matted hair and complaining about sharing the food. He was a big kid, bigger than me anyway, and wore an old army coat, dirty jeans and heavy boots. Pete didn’t look up; he didn’t acknowledge me at all. From the look of his fairly clean clothes, I’d guessed he hadn’t been on the streets that long.
“What’s his story?” I asked, indicating with my head towards Pete.
“Don’t know really. He’s in foster care but keeps running away. But you don’t ask, okay. No one talks, it’s just the way it is.”
Tom joined his friends and ignored me for the rest of the night. As the evening wore on, the guys settled down. Slider had a blanket that he wrapped around himself, the others just settled near a door. I closed my eyes against the tears that threatened to fall. I didn’t want to appear weak, to show fear, but inside I was terrified. I had no idea what I was going to do. All I could hope was that Dan would come and find me. At some point during the night I must have dozed off but was woken a short time later by shouting. I opened my eyes to see two men wrestling with Pete, Tom was trying to fight them off and Slider was running away.
“Fuck off, you fucking pervert,” Pete shouted as he fought one of the men.
“Knife him,” Tom said.
I saw a flash of metal as Pete lunged. The man backed off pretty quick. I was sat in the shadow of a dumpster and out of sight. My whole body shook at the sight of Tom and Pete fighting with two grown men and I covered my mouth so as not to let out a sob and be heard. I watched as Tom got a decent punch in which knocked one of them to the ground. The other ran, leaving his friend to pick himself up from the dirty floor and limp after him.
“Who were those men?” I asked, finally climbing out of my hiding space.
“They’ll snatch you. Don’t ever talk to them or take anything they offer you, you understand?” Pete replied aggressively.
He was pacing, pumped I guessed. I watched as he replaced the small knife he had wielded back in his jacket pocket. I nodded.
“They offer you food, it’s drugged. You don’t want to know what happens after,” Tom added.
Fuck, I thought. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to know what he meant and I felt sick at the thought. I closed my eyes and pleaded in my mind for my sister to find me. I don’t think I got any real sleep that night.
So I learnt that no one told their stories. I had no idea how those guys came to be where they were, and no one asked me mine. It was just something not spoken about. Because I didn’t know them, I felt very lonely. I had no choice but to stick to being the outsider where they were concerned. I knew I wouldn’t survive on my own, not for a while. If those two men had come for me I couldn’t have fought them off, I needed to stick with Slider, Tom and Pete whether they wanted me to or not.
****
The following morning we walked the streets; people avoided us and some were outright hostile. Eventually we found ourselves outside a small store.
“If you want to run with us, it’s time to pay your way,” Slider said, having arrived back at the alley that morning. “Go in there, grab as much food as you can then find us in the alley, just around the block.”
I nodded and watched as they sauntered off. I’d never stolen anything in my life and I wasn’t about to start. I entered the store and grabbed a basket, filled it with food then took it to the counter. I also asked for a packet of cigarettes. I pulled the money from my pocket and paid for it. The guys would never know and hopefully they would let me stay with them for a little longer. I made my way to the alley and handed over the bag I was carrying.
“What the fuck?” Tom said. “How did you get this lot? Slider, he has cigs as well.”
“I found the bag by the door and the smokes were on the counter. It was easy, I just filled the bag as I went around then ran,” I replied hoping they would believe me.
Slider looked at me through his usual half closed eyes. I guessed he was suspicious but he had cigarettes, he didn’t care. We sat in the alley and ate. The problem was the guys then thought I was a master shoplifter and they wanted me to go again later that day.
The money ran out by day three.
The first time I really had to steal I was convinced the storekeeper could hear my heart pounding as I made my way round the aisles. I had the plastic bag in my hand and gently unfolded it, filling it with bread rolls and some salami before I heard a shout. I ran for the door. I was much quicker than the storekeeper and was out the door long before he had got around his counter.
Before I reached the alley I stopped to catch my breath and wiped my face. I didn’t want the guys to see the tears that had started to fall. I didn’t want to have to shoplift, I didn’t want to have my heart racing in fear of being caught and more importantly, I didn’t want to get picked up by the cops. I knew I’d be sent home and straight into the wrath of Padriac. A feeling of despair washed over me.
“Nearly got caught on that one,” I said once I had found the guys. I planted a fake smile on my face.
****
As I walked the streets during the day I constantly looked around, searching for Dan. I was still convinced he would come and find me. One day I spotted a woman, just ahead of me with red hair hanging loosely down her back. My heart raced as I called out and started to run towards her. When I was close enough I reached out to grasp her arm. She spun around glaring at me.
“I’m sorry, I thought you were my sister,” I said looking into the angry face of a stranger.
That was probably one of the worst days I’d had. The realisation that no one was looking for me hit at last. I wand
ered off and found myself in a park with a monument at one end. I slid down a tree and for the last time I cried.
I decided to stop looking for Dan or Aileen. I thought of the times I would catch sight of someone who resembled one of them, it would bring me to a halt and I held my breath, daring to hope to see a familiar face. I would stare for as long as they were in sight but deep down I knew it wouldn’t be them and my heart would break a little more.
Dan, my sister, my family, they had all abandoned me, they had all forgotten about me and I felt very alone. I watched people, couples holding hands, families playing together and the pain I felt inside intensified. I was on my own and I had to make the best of it. I didn’t leave the park, opting to lie on a bench once the night fell. It was a mistake. At night the drunks came and I guessed the bench belonged to one when he grabbed hold of my jacket and dragged me off. I landed in a heap on the ground. He was rambling, something about the war.
“Fuck off,” he growled.
“I’m sorry,” I said as I scrambled to my feet. I headed for a small wooded area, slid down a tree and waited for the morning.
The days had melded into each other, I lost track of what day of the week it even was. I only knew it was the weekend because the streets were less busy with suited people scurrying to and from work. The weekends were the hardest because that’s when I would see families, moms and sons walking and laughing, brothers and sisters playing and that loneliness would hit me like a punch to the gut.
I noticed a couple of boys, slightly younger than me I guessed. They were playing ball, tossing it to each other. I watched them for a while, smiling at their laughter as they had fun. I was itching to join in, to do something normal like playing catch. One threw it too far and it landed at my feet, I was still sitting with my back to the tree that had been home for the past two nights. I picked the ball up, stood and walked towards them. They smiled at me and I smiled back.
“You wanna play?” one said. I nodded my head.
“Throw the ball,” the other called out, jogging backwards and raising his arm, ready to catch the ball in his mitt.
It was nice to hear someone talk to me. That was until their dad appeared. He snatched the ball from me and without a word, grabbed the two boys by the hand. One child looked over his shoulder as he was hauled away and he gave me a small smile. Despite my promise never to cry again, I couldn’t stop the tear that rolled down one cheek. I angrily wiped it away. I had no idea what I looked like, what condition my hair was in or how dirty my face was - there were no mirrors on the street. Those boys hadn’t been bothered by how I looked; they had just wanted to play with me.
“Fuck you,” I screamed to their retreating backs. “Fuck you all.”
That day I hardened my heart. I would survive. I would shoplift and fucking enjoy it. I would wipe my family from my mind and fucking enjoy it. I would fight if I had to and fucking enjoy it. No one would ever see my heartache again.
That one simple act of dragging those children away from me, and I was no more than a child myself, confirmed one thing - no one was going to help me.
I had no choice but to toughen up and help myself.
Chapter Three
It was two days later that I caught up with the guys. They didn’t welcome me as such just the nod of a head as I settled down on the cold, damp floor to sleep. My clothes reeked, my sneakers had holes that let in the rain, and my stomach constantly grumbled. I needed to get streetwise and quickly if I was to survive.
“I’m going for food,” I said, causing Slider to raise his eyebrows. I was normally told to, I’d never volunteered before.
I had decided to walk a few blocks away for the food run. It was getting difficult to hit the local stores, I had become too well known. A light rain was falling and I pulled the leather jacket around me as tight as I could to keep dry. Although it was early evening the store I had chosen was still open. I followed an elderly lady in, the door chime alerting the storekeeper of her entry. I kept close behind her, using her as a shield from prying eyes. That time I picked up smaller items, loading my pockets and the inside of my jacket. I zipped it up to keep the food from falling out. I kept away from the counter as much as possible and when the keeper was distracted with the elderly lady I made for the door. When I was back on the street, I unfolded the carried bag I had kept in my pocket and filled it with the food.
It was time to replace my sneakers, the sole of one was hanging off and it made running hard. A cheap shoe shop that had racks just outside the door was easy pickings. I snatched a pair as I walked past, making sure they were left and right feet. They were two different sizes but it didn’t matter, they were clean and they would keep my feet dry.
I started to make my way back and decided to take a shortcut alongside the river. It was not a route I liked to take at night normally, being alone at that time of the day was not always a good thing. It was safer to be in a crowd even if that crowd included Slider.
I hadn’t noticed two guys following me until their footsteps echoed as I made my way under the bridge. Stupidly I turned to look, I should have just run.
“What you got there?” I heard.
“Nothing,” I replied.
“Don’t look like nothing to me,” he said.
They were bigger than me, older for sure. One reached forwards to grab the bag I was holding and I gripped the handle as tight as I could. It was usual to fight to keep hold of food on the streets and I was prepared to fight. Whether I would win or not was another matter, there were two of them. Before it got out of hand and I took a beating the two guys stopped wrestling for the bag and looked over my shoulder.
“Fuck off friend, if you know what’s good for you,” one said.
“I’m not your friend. Now leave him alone,” I heard, a deep voice came from behind.
I turned. Walking towards us was a man, or so I thought. My heart started to race, I was just about to drop the bag and run when he stepped closer and into the weak glow the one lamp provided. He wasn’t a man but he was fucking big. By big I meant muscular, like he worked out. But that wasn’t what had made the guys back off. There was something about him, something I couldn’t put my finger on at first. It radiated from his body and it was scary. His face was totally emotionless and his eyes dead. It was his eyes that sent a shiver up my spine. He had black eyes, or they looked black from where I was stood.
The two guys turned and ran, I didn’t blame them. I was about to do the same when his face changed, softened slightly.
“Thanks,” I said and he gave me a small smile.
He turned and walked away; I watched as he slid back down the wall and sat. He looked just like I imagined I had when I’d first arrived in DC, lost. I felt compelled to walk after him, as if I was drawn to him in a strange way. I swallowed my fear and approached, sliding down the wall beside him. He didn’t look up, didn’t acknowledge I was there, he just stared straight ahead.
“I’m Travis,” I said. He nodded.
“Are you hungry? I have some food,” I asked.
Finally he looked at me and nodded again. I rummaged in the bag, pulling out a couple of bread rolls and handed him one. We ate in silence for a while.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. It took him a moment to answer.
“Same as you, I guess,” he replied.
“You can’t stay here tonight, the cops will show anytime. This is the place the drunks come and they get moved on. Half the time the cops end up fishing them out of the river, they get so drunk they fall in,” I said.
I don’t know what it was about him, he didn’t look vulnerable, he looked like he could defend himself but I offered to take him back with me, it was safer in a gang. I stood and waited for him. He towered over me but when I looked closer it was hard to determine his age. Fuck knows what he had been doing to get so big. He didn’t speak much and everything about him screamed of someone so much older. Then it dawned on me; there was something dangerous about him. I was confuse
d because although I was wary of him, I wasn’t afraid.
“What’s this city?” he asked as we walked.
I stopped and looked at him, slightly surprised by the question.
“Are you kidding me?” I asked.
“Do I look like I’m kidding you?” he replied.
No, he didn’t. His face was devoid of any emotion as he stared at me. I wondered where he was from as his accent wasn’t entirely American. Even the tone of his voice made him sound much older.
“Welcome to the home of the President of the United States of America, Washington, DC,” I said. “You have a strange accent, where are you from?” I added.
“I came from England four years ago, lived in Pittsburgh until this morning. What about you?”
“My mom and dad came from Northern Ireland but I was born here… well, in New York,” I replied.
It felt good to have a conversation with someone, someone who appeared to be interested in me. It was a nice change from being ignored by the other guys. Eventually we arrived back at the alley. Slider and Tom were already there, the usual cigarette hanging from Slider’s mouth.
“What did you get?” Slider asked.
I handed over the bag and while they delved in, my new friend and I took a seat on a stone step. I caught Tom glancing over on more than one occasion, probably wondering who the newcomer was. We didn’t generally have people join us because of Slider’s reputation.
“What’s with your friend?” Slider asked.
“He’s cool, leave him alone,” I replied.
Slider obviously wanted to assert his authority. He sauntered over.
Travis: To accompany the Fallen Angel Series - A Mafia Romance Page 4
