A month. Beth sighed.
“You should have waited a bit longer before you did that.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I don’t think Hermia’s been allowed to completely grieve for her mother. Having someone strange appear so soon after the duchess’ death and taking her mother’s place in a teaching role wasn’t going to go down well with her when she hadn’t completely processed her mother’s death.”
Rossdale stared at her. Had he never come to that conclusion? His mouth opened and closed.
“I thought they should carry on their routine as soon as possible. We mourned my wife, certainly, but I wanted to keep them in the same schedule as close as I could.”
“Hermia didn’t see it like that,” Beth said. “She saw it as wiping her mother out step by step.”
How had nobody ever realized that? Children were not normally good with change – nobody was, but children were the ones who were affected the most – so to have a strange person turn up so soon after losing someone so dear, what was Hermia meant to think? It was far too soon to make any type of change. It had to be done very slowly so it was more accepted. From the sound of it, Lord Rossdale had thrown it all at his children very quickly. Isabel and Rosamund had managed to adjust to the change, but Beth had noticed that they had looked a little strained when she first started teaching them. They had had a lot of governesses over the past year, all because of their sister.
Hermia was struggling with the sudden change of having someone else teaching her, but her sisters were beginning to struggle with the amount of governesses that had come through their home. Hermia’s behaviour was affecting her sisters as well.
“She never came to me about it,” Rossdale murmured.
“Would you have listened to her?”
“Of course I would.” Rossdale blinked as Beth glared at him. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You said that you struggled after your wife’s death. Lady Rossdale said that you shut yourself up in your study. The children barely saw you. I know things lately have improved, and I do like to see you interact with your daughters, but I doubt you would have entertained Hermia’s concerns this time last year.”
Rossdale fixed her with a hard look. Beth resisted the urge to squirm. She took a deep breath and moved towards Rossdale as he scowled.
“You seem to think you know a lot about me, Beth.” His voice was low. “I’m not sure I like that.”
“I’m only going with what I’ve observed, what you’ve just told, and that is the conclusion I’ve come to.” Beth swallowed. Even when he was unhappy, his voice had the urge to send a shiver down her spine. “Maybe if you sat down with Hermia and laid it out without the two of you arguing or any accusations, you might be able to come to a sort of truce.”
Rossdale snorted.
“You know how headstrong Hermia is. I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
Beth couldn’t believe how quick he was to deem Hermia a lost cause. She was desperate for her father’s attention, and while Hermia was going the wrong way about it, Beth could understand why. She wasn’t going to give up on the girl even if her father had.
“You don’t know until you try, Your Grace.” She took a deep breath. It was either that or get frustrated. “Maybe get her to play a duet with you on the piano. You used to play, didn’t you? Hermia loves music. I managed to get that much from Mr Baker. Do something together, just the two of you. Earn her trust back while you talk.”
Rossdale looked a little dazed.
“I didn’t know Hermia loved music. She never said anything.”
“That’s because you’ve been so focused on yourself that you haven’t paid much attention to your children as you should do,” Beth said hotly.
She needed to get out of there before she said anything further and got herself into trouble. She hurried towards the door.
“I’d better get back to my room. I’ve stayed here too long already. Thank you for letting me borrow the book, Your Grace.”
Then she practically ran out of the room. It wasn’t until she got to her room and sat on the bed that Beth felt like she could breathe again.
#
The next month passed by, and the weather turned even warmer. Beth loved the summer. With everyone having retreated back to their homes for the summer months, London was quiet. It was a perfect opportunity to go for long walks and explore without people openly staring at her. Now she was a governess that happened more and more frequently.
Lord Rossdale had agreed with Beth and his mother that the lessons would be reduced to just the mornings and then the afternoons could be filled with whatever the children wanted to do. Hermia sat sullenly at her desk, head down while she worked before escaping to her bedroom. Beth did offer to arrange for her to have some music lessons, knowing that Hermia’s lessons had stopped over a year ago, but Hermia had refused. She could keep asking, but the answer kept getting more and more aggressive.
The offer was still open. Beth just needed to wait for Hermia to come to her.
So while Hermia stayed at home sulking, Beth took Isabel and Rosamund to the park or for long walks, treating them to ice cream and teas out. Both girls loved this, and they jumped up and down in excitement whenever Rossdale joined them, which was turning into every other day. Beth was pleased that he was taking an interest in his daughters, and she encouraged it, although she did her best to keep her distance.
There were moments when Rossdale would brush up against her or would be looking at her until Beth noticed. Beth was not blind, and she knew what was going on, but she also knew that she was not going to give in. Lord Rossdale may think he wanted something from her, but she wasn’t going to succumb. Her family’s reputation was at stake, and Beth didn’t want the dowager duchess to warn her off again.
Which was a shame. Because the more Beth was in Lord Rossdale’s company, the more she wanted to be around him. And not just be in the same room. She wanted to be pressed up against him, feel his mouth on hers again. Beg for him to do something about the fire in her body.
But that was asking for trouble. Not only would Beth end up breaking her self-imposed rule not to pursue anything with her employer – she needed to remember that particular title – but if they were caught, she would end up bringing more scandal onto her family.
She couldn’t do it. And Beth hated it.
At least she was being paid well. Beth got a weekly salary, which was very handsome. She sent most of it back to her family when she went home on her one day off, and they were shocked and delighted with the money. It wasn’t much now, but it was certainly making things a little less uncomfortable. Beth did miss them at times, but she was glad they were feeling better about their finances. At least there was a little bit of money coming in.
She was careful with what she said, however. Flora, especially, was asking her questions about what the duke was like and dropping not-so-subtle hints about the family. Beth didn’t know what she was trying to find out, but she couldn’t outright answer them without Flora realizing that Beth had developed some strong feelings for Lord Rossdale. And feelings that weren’t just based on physical attraction.
Beth had come to that realization herself. And it was sobering. She had contemplated giving in her notice, but she wouldn’t know who would take her on, and she had a family who relied on her. Besides, the girls needed stability. Even Hermia. Beth wanted to be that stable influence on them. Her feelings regarding their father had to be pushed aside.
Beth could handle it. She was sure of it.
Not really. But she was going to try.
At the beginning of August, Rossdale let it be known to Beth that she needed to pack for her journey. The months of June and July were spent in London, enjoying the city without bumping into one of the nosey old ladies who were looking for something to talk about, and then in August the family travelled up to Lake Windermere in the Lake District. Beth had never been further north than Nort
hampton, so this was a big step for her. She didn’t know which one was more excited about the journey between her and the girls. Even Hermia was looking forward to it.
The journey was going to be interesting, and Beth was worried that Hermia would be making it awkward for them while they were cramped inside a carriage for a day and a half, but she couldn’t deny that she wasn’t relieved when Hermia was made to sit in one carriage with her father and Beth was to travel with Isabel and Rosamund in the other. Knowing she wouldn’t have to be in a confined space with the young woman while her animosity was still strong was going to make this a little more bearable.
Beth had never liked travelling from London to her home in Suffolk. It was the bumping about in the carriage over the rough roads that made her stomach churn and had Beth curling up in the corner. She preferred it when they only had to go around London for just a few minutes. More than fifteen minutes and Beth wanted to get out.
That was going to be easier said than done. The good thing about travelling from London to Lake Windermere was that Isabel and Rosamund kept Beth’s mind off her stomach. They talked about anything and everything for most of the first day, getting into squabbles, but they had Beth smiling and laughing at their stories. Most of them were about their growing up in the Lake District, and Beth felt a slight pang of envy. She had never been to the Lake District, her parents saying it was a little too far to go. Cynthia was just as bad on journeys as Beth, so they restricted it to the East of England.
From what the girls were saying, it was a place Beth had missed out on growing up.
The journey ended up being quicker than she expected, having been told it could be midday the next day before they arrived at their home. So, when Beth saw the rolling green hills late evening, the deep valleys and the lakes spread out on either side of them much earlier than she anticipated, Beth couldn’t help staring.
“This is beautiful,” she gasped.
Sitting beside her, Isabel grinned.
“This place is beautiful in the summer. The winter is lovely, too, when it’s snowing. If it’s raining, though, it ends up pouring, and we can be closed off from everyone else.”
“Really?”
“Really. The water level rises quite quickly around here.”
Beth could imagine it. Living on such flat land in Brandeston and so close to the river, whenever it rained the river could turn into a lake and practically reach the terrace. It was not fun knowing that they were about to be flooded.
“There’s so much to do at our home,” Rosamund cried. She was practically bouncing up and down on her seat. “So much fun.”
“That is, if we get to have fun,” Isabel reminded her.
Beth laughed.
“I’m sure there will be. You’ll still have your lessons in the morning, but the afternoon is for whatever you want to do.”
Rosamund cheered and clapped her hands. Then her eyes lit up even more.
“Can we go swimming in the lake?”
Isabel burst out laughing.
“You can’t swim!”
“I can learn!”
“Who’s going to teach you? Miss Campbell doesn’t swim, either.”
Beth shuddered. She didn’t mind water if it was to wash herself, but to go swimming in? She couldn’t think of anything worse. But Beth saw Rosamund’s slightly downcast face and gave her a smile.
“Don’t worry, Rosamund. I’m sure we can find someone who can teach you. That shouldn’t be a problem.”
“All right.” Then Rosamund brightened up again. “Or we can go horse-riding! I miss doing that! I should be big enough to go riding with everyone else instead of around the paddock.”
“More than likely,” Isabel said. “You’ll have to ask Father.”
“Horse riding?” Beth squeaked. “I’ve never been on a horse.”
Now both girls were looking at her like she had gone mad. Then Isabel started giggling.
“How have you been in London without riding a horse?”
“It wasn’t something that interested us.” Beth shrugged. “Besides, my sister is terrified of them.”
“I’m sure we can find someone who can teach you to ride.” Isabel patted her hand. “Father’s an excellent rider. You should be in good hands.”
Beth didn’t respond to that. Of course Lord Rossdale would be an excellent horse rider. But she didn’t think having the duke tutoring her how to ride a horse was such a good idea. Not when the tension between them was enough to cut through the air.
Beth felt the heat building in her belly at the thought of being in close quarters with Lord Rossdale. Isabel may have been right that she would be in good hands, but that wasn’t what had appeared in Beth’s mind.
Maybe not a good idea to have him teach her how to ride. If Beth needed to, she would get someone else to do it. Someone who couldn’t send her heart racing and make her feel lightheaded.
Not for the first time, Beth wondered why she had agreed to a position with a man she was attracted to on more than a superficial level.
The two carriages turned into a long, sweeping driveway and headed up towards a lowering sun. The sunset was gorgeous and turned the sky golden-orange. It was still very warm, and the scenery was stunning. Beth loved looking at it. This was something you definitely couldn’t get in London.
And then she saw the house. You certainly couldn’t get that in London. It was huge, a sprawling building of red brick with intricate designs and huge windows. The driveway swept in front of the doors, and when Beth looked up at the house she could barely see the top.
It could easily have been the backdrop for a Gothic novel. And Beth fell in love with it.
“This is your home?”
“It is.” There was a tone of pride in Isabel’s voice. “We were all born here.”
“It’s beautiful.” Beth turned to the girl. “How long has your family had it?”
“All the way back to the early 1500s, from what Father says.”
That was an impressive pedigree. Beth couldn’t compete with that. It was moments like this that she remembered that she and Lord Rossdale were the most incompatible pair possible, and she needed to take a deep breath and step away instead of drifting forward.
She mentally swiped this from her mind. Now was not the time to think about the handsome duke who made her feel hot and flustered whenever he was close by.
“What did your family say when your father had three daughters and no sons?” she asked.
“I think they kept pressuring Father to have another child, a boy as an heir, but Father put his foot down after Rosamund was born. Childbirth took a lot out of Mother, and Father didn’t want to risk losing her again.” Isabel spread her hands. “And he couldn’t exactly complain. He had three healthy daughters, and that was what mattered to him.”
Beth didn’t need to say that Rossdale was a remarkable man. That spoke for itself. Even with his flaws, Lord Rossdale was unique in Society. He was someone anyone would want for a father. Or a husband.
Stop it. Don’t even think that.
Beth would be glad once she got to her room and was able to lock herself away. She was sure her face was bright red.
“Do you like Father?” Rosamund piped up.
Beth started.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Do you like Father?”
Rosamund was watching her intensely. Beth felt like she was under interrogation. She shifted in her seat.
What A Wicked Duke Demands (Historical Regency Romance) Page 20
