by Rachel Rust
“Sergei had you kidnapped, knowing Eddie would be part of the rescue,” Luke said. “That’s why he had you taken in the mall parking lot in broad daylight. He wanted us to find out and follow them. That’s why they went across state lines—interstate kidnapping is FBI jurisdiction. Sergei wanted to get you and Eddie together again, just like when he paired you up for that school assignment last month. Back on that night, he had planned to make Eddie look like a double agent working for The Barber, and tarnish your reputation as a straight-laced kid by taking pictures of you at that drug house. And then he was going to kill both of you. But you ruined those plans when you nabbed The Barber. Which totally pissed off Sergei for lots of reasons—he lost a lot of money, he didn’t get a chance to take you guys out, and it made Eddie look like a hero.”
“But why does Sergei keep putting Eddie and me together—and why does he want to make us look bad?” I asked.
“I wish I knew,” said a familiar voice behind me.
I spun around. Leaned against the doorway was Eddie, arms crossed over his chest.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“You were supposed to stay upstairs,” Krissy said to Eddie with a grumble.
His lip curled. “I got bored.”
“Oh my God!” I flew around the sofa and lunged at Eddie. He caught me, arms pulling me in tight. My arms around his neck probably threatened to cut off his air supply, but still I clung. He was here. He felt strong, uninjured.
I searched him with my eyes and hands. “Were you hurt? At that warehouse there were so many bullets, and I didn’t see you and—”
His hands cupped my face. “I’m okay.”
Keeping my arms around him, I turned to Krissy and Luke. “Have you known where he’s been this whole time?”
“I reached out to them right after the warehouse ambush,” Eddie said. “I knew I could trust them, and I knew I couldn’t clear my name and take down Sergei Romanov all by myself.”
“Why doesn’t Thatcher know where you are?” I asked. “Doesn’t she believe that you’re innocent?” Thatcher was a reasonable woman and had always seemed to like Eddie. No way should she think that Eddie was a bad guy.
Krissy nodded. “I do think Thatcher believes Eddie’s innocent, but she can’t bring him in without handcuffs unless she has proof he’s not dirty.”
“Thatcher has to follow the books,” Luke said.
“But you guys don’t have to play by the rules?” I asked.
“Of course, we do. This is just…”
“Extracurricular FBI activities,” Krissy finished.
I smiled, warily. “But you could totally get fired, right?”
“Fired?” Luke said with an unpleasant laugh. “Hell, we could end up in handcuffs right alongside your boyfriend.”
I blushed at the sound of the B-word. Maybe Eddie and I had seen each other naked, but the boyfriend-girlfriend label was a far more complicated matter than sex. I glanced up at Eddie, and he winked back. He didn’t seem put-off by the boyfriend label.
We took a seat across from Luke and Krissy.
“I’ve told you guys a hundred times, you don’t have to be a part of this,” Eddie said. “I’m not worth losing your jobs over.”
“We’re here helping you because we want to,” Krissy said. “You’re one hell of an agent, and this is just another act of Sergei Romanov that needs to be taken care of. And if we need to do it on our own, against bureau regulation, so be it.”
“Plus, you’re in way over your head, dumbass,” Luke said.
Eddie flipped him off, and they both laughed. I liked FBI Luke much better than mall Luke.
I turned to Krissy. “Sergei had Eddie and myself paired together for our school assignment on purpose. Do you know why he did that?”
Krissy shook her head. “We’re still working on that. But our intelligence shows that Sergei’s been watching Eddie since before he even joined the FBI.”
Luke clasped his hands together. “We believe Sergei has been watching Eddie since he was a child.”
I gasped. “What?”
My mind raced as the impossible information settled in. I looked to Eddie for clarification. “Why would Sergei have had any interest in you as a child? Why would an arms dealer watch a kid growing up on a farm in Ohio?”
Eddie ran his fingers through his hair. “No clue.”
I grappled to understand—but then my confusion over this new information was interrupted by a sickening thought.
“Wait—if Sergei’s been watching Eddie since he was younger, and we were partnered together on purpose, meaning there’s a link between us, does that mean…”
I recoiled, waiting for the answer I feared was coming.
Eddie took my hands in his. “Natalie, Sergei Romanov has also been watching you since you were little.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Sergei Romanov had been watching me since I was a little girl.
The words were clear, but my mind couldn’t make sense of them. My stomach tightened and heaved at the thought of those unseen eyes having lurked over the past years. Watching me while I was at home. At school. How young had I been when it had started? Did he watch me as a little girl, back when I used to love having my hair French-braided and when I played hopscotch on my front sidewalk after school? My face twisted. What a sick creep.
“I’m no one,” I said, my words pushing through a thick fog of disbelief. “Why would Sergei have any interest in me?”
“We’re working on that,” Luke said. “And we’re working on why he’s been watching Eddie since he was little, too. Our intelligence so far doesn’t paint a very clear picture. Up until Kennedy High School, the two of you don’t have a damn thing in common other than being human.”
“There’s gotta be a link between you and me somewhere—a reason Sergei has been watching us, and a reason why he wanted us paired together that night, and I’ll find it.” Eddie squeezed my hands. “And then I’ll end all this so you can live your normal life again. I promise.”
My head spun with crazy thoughts—a trafficker, watching me? Since I was little? What the fuck? It’s not like I had special powers or anything. This wasn’t the X-Men, or one of those supernatural shows Sophia liked to watch. I didn’t read minds, I didn’t have super-human strength, and I wasn’t interesting or spectacular in any way.
I was a normal, boring human in a normal, boring human world.
My family was normal-ish. My dad was a doctor. My mom was a lawyer. My brother was a dumbass. Like most families, I thought, we were equal parts ordinary and dysfunctional.
Luke sat forward. “For now, it’s best if you just go back to living your normal life, Natalie. I know it’s a lot to ask, considering what we’ve just told you, but you really need to act normal. Don’t go asking questions or snooping around. It’s best if Sergei doesn’t get wind of the fact that you know he’s been watching you for years.”
“But I have to do something. I can’t just act normal after knowing all this. Tell me what I can do. Please let me help.”
Luke shook his head. “No … you are not going to have a part in any of this.”
“But this about me, too!” I half-yelled. “This is my life we’re talking about, and if some sicko has been watching me since I was little, I want to be part of bringing him down. I want—”
Luke held up a hand. “We simply brought you here to give you confirmation that Eddie is okay, so you’ll stop harassing the FBI telephone lines, which risks compromising the work that Krissy and I are doing to help Eddie under the radar. You are not a part of this task force. Yes, you helped up identify Sergei at the hotel, and for that we’re grateful, but your service is finished. You’re not an agent.”
Eddie pulled me in closer before I could lash back at Luke’s words.
“He’s right,” Eddie said. “You’re safer staying away from this. And now that you know that I’m okay, I trust you won’t try anything dangerous again to find me … like trying to arrange a
meeting with Romanov. Seriously, what were you thinking?”
I stared into his dark eyes. “I was desperate to find you. I had to know you were okay.”
“And now you know,” Krissy said flippantly. She stood up and grabbed keys from her pocket. “Come on, we’ll take you back home.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. “So then I just go back to normal life?”
“And get your mall job back,” Luke said. “Talk to Angela. She’ll take you back in a heartbeat. And I’ll be working alongside you, saving your ass all summer long.” He paused with a smile. “Whether you want me to or not.”
I smiled back. “Maybe you’re not so bad … just don’t give me shit over almost being late anymore.”
“Deal.” He stood up and glanced down at Eddie and me, our bodies pressed up next to one another’s on the sofa. “We’ll give you a minute. Meet us outside.” Krissy followed him out of the cabin.
Eddie and I were finally alone.
Our eyes locked. Our lips followed. The tears that had been suppressed spilled over my cheeks and he wiped them away with his thumbs.
“You have to go with Luke and Krissy,” he said softly.
I shook my head. “I’m so sick of saying good-bye to you. Of not being able to spend time with you without worrying about people chasing us or having all these obstacles that keep us apart.”
“I know, me, too. Just promise me you won’t do anything else dangerous.”
“I promise,” I said, knowing how many times I had those two words in the past only to break it moments later. At some point, trust issues were sure to develop between us, if they hadn’t already. But this was one promise I was going to keep. I’d go to work, I’d go home, and I wasn’t going to do anything else. I’d be boring and let the FBI protect me. I didn’t want Eddie to worry about me, and he didn’t have the luxury of time or resources to save me again. He had to save himself.
I buried my head into his shoulder, closing my eyes and inhaling his familiar scent. “Why would Sergei have paired us up? And why the hell has he been watching us since we were little? That’s so creepy. Do you think there will ever be a day where we can just be normal?”
“Yeah, I do. I really do.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
I didn’t believe him—but I wanted to. I wanted to be normal—for us to be normal. Not caught in limbo between good and evil, waiting for the safety I had once known, unable to fully plan my future because it wasn’t clear if I had one.
“This fall,” Eddie said, “I’ll show you the best place to eat in New York City. This little bodega, around the corner from my apartment…”
I smiled, listening to him talk about his New York life … his neighborhood, the bodega’s menu, the grumpy guy who yells a lot and sells pretzels on the corner, the partial view of the Empire State Building from his tiny, painted-shut living room window. The sounds of it all was comforting, yet he might as well have been talking about another galaxy. Normal life—his and mine—was nowhere to be seen. We had to fight to get it back.
Goddamn you, Sergei Romanov. Whatever reasons he had for obsessing over Eddie and me, neither Eddie nor I deserved any of it. The world did not deserve Sergei Romanov.
If Eddie and I wanted to eat together at that bodega someday, Sergei had to be erased from existence.
“You go do what you have to do,” I said to Eddie. “And once Sergei is gone, you come find me again.”
Eddie pulled me close until our faces were only an inch apart. “I will come for you. And this fall you’ll start your classes at Columbia, and I’ll show you all around the city, just like I promised.”
My insides churned with warmth, and all I could do in response was nod.
“Did I ever mention I have a motorcycle?”
My eyes widened. “No.” A quick thrill shot through me. I had never been on a motorcycle before—because they scared the shit out of me. But the thought of sitting behind Eddie, my arms wrapped tight around him, with nothing but the freedom of the road in front of us, sounded pretty damn awesome. I scanned his right arm where his Day of the Dead tattoo peeked out the bottom of his t-shirt sleeve. His 22 tattoo on his left wrist was currently rested near my ass. “You have guns, tattoos, and a motorcycle.”
He smiled a crooked grin. “Your dad’s gonna love me.”
He stood and yanked me to my feet. His lips cut off my laughter. We kissed for a long time, because we didn’t know when we’d get another chance. I was leaving to go back to my life where I’d pretend things were okay—to pretend that I didn’t have a mad criminal mastermind watching me. And Eddie was setting off to defend himself, to bring an end Sergei Romanov, and to prove he’s not a crooked agent.
We were two different paths that I could only hope would merge back together again.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Two months later…
My dad and I stepped out of Penn Station into the mugginess of New York City in late August. The sun was gone. Our flight into Newark had been delayed, getting us in nearly five hours later than planned.
To my right, the top of the Empire State Building shone through the humid haze.
The past two months had slogged by, every hour like a week, every week like a year. My hours at November had kicked up to full-time in July. Luke and I managed to work together without tipping Angela off to any weirdness. Shawn and I had met up for lunch at least once a week—either Subway or pretzels. He had been continually disappointed that I never had any interesting updates for him concerning the FBI. After a few weeks of peer pressure, I managed to get him to ask the curly-haired pretzel girl out on a date. They saw a romantic comedy that he pretended to like. He and I spent less time talking as the two of them grew closer, but that was okay. He and I were headed in separate directions.
Some relationships were like that … perfect in their own fleeting way.
Sergei’s presence never showed itself, but that didn’t surprise me. Sergei was evil, but he wasn’t an idiot. I was still being watched by his people, but stealthily, in the background.
I had lived the last two months assuming eyes were on me all the time, everywhere. Cate, the psychologist, turned out to be super nice. During my first visit, I barely talked at all. But I saw her every week, and eventually found myself talking openly about a lot of things—the violence, the fear, the images that flashed in my mind day and night, bringing my heart to a rapid pace and threatening to send me to the ground in paralysis.
I opened up to her about pretty much everything except the information on Eddie, Luke, and Krissy working on their own. I wasn’t sure just how confidential my confidential file was, so I had stayed mum about anything that could get those three into trouble.
My dad and I walked east on Thirty-Third street. He talked my ear off about the city. He had lived there for nine years before Josh and I were born. And even though it had been more than twenty years since he left, he spoke of it as though he left only yesterday. I tried to pay attention to his words—his suggestions, his warnings, his experiences—but awe over the buildings, the people, and the very notion that I was actually standing on the island of Manhattan sort of shut off my brain.
I’m finally here.
One person who wasn’t there though, was my mother. Both my dad and I spoke with her over the summer, inviting her to please come to New York and see me off to college—to please come be my mother for a change, instead of a distant woman who barely ever acknowledged my existence.
But she never arrived. In fact, we hadn’t heard anything from her in a month. Which was cold, even for her.
My dad talked and walked, never mentioning her. But I could hear it in his voice—the things he wasn’t saying. The things that hurt too much to talk about. That woman who had not only broken his heart, but his kids’ as well.
I glanced all around as we moved through the streets. Faces everywhere. Old, young, rich, poor. Which belonged to Sergei? Which belonged to the FBI? They were all aroun
d. Watching, as usual. My entire life was a reality TV show, with cameras I couldn’t see.
The feeling of being watched never got comfortable. I felt eyes on me all the time. The FBI. Sergei. Everyone had me in their sights, and it was a tether to my freedom. No matter how far or fast I ran, someone would always be there in the shadows.
A giant war had been waged between Uncle Sam and Sergei. And Eddie and I were just pawns standing out in the middle of the battlefield. Together, yet alone … lures for both sides.
All I wanted to do was grab Eddie, escape into the woods, and never look back.
If only it was that easy.
Luke was around somewhere. He had been assigned to me, or whatever the FBI called it. No longer my coworker at the mall, he was going to be in and around Columbia. Where and how, I didn’t know yet. But I was sure his red hair would present itself sooner or later.
When my dad and I arrived at our hotel—a tall, shimmering midtown structure—I was pleased to find that he had booked two rooms. I had never spent the night in a hotel room all by myself before. It seemed like a simple enough experience, though once my dad said goodnight to me and pulled the door closed behind him, leaving me all alone, it suddenly felt like a very big deal. I was an adult—sort of. I had a hotel room. All by myself. And I loved it.
I called my friend Sophia on my new phone.
I had replaced my old one that Luke destroyed. Part of me missed that old phone. But it had lived its life. It was time for a fresh start. My new phone was larger with a gaudy purple and red floral case, because why not? Life was too precarious to be boring.
I flopped onto the hotel bed, and talked Sophia’s ear off about the city so far, the view from my window and my nerves about tomorrow. She knew nothing about what happened to me over the summer, and it was a relief to talk and giggle like a normal person. Almost as if I had a normal life again.
