by Tina Folsom
Because Paul didn’t want her. He would never respect her, and she didn’t want a man who was revolted by the thought of having pleasured a call girl.
15
Paul got out of the taxi and let himself into his parents’ house. Except for a low light coming from the living room, the house was dark. Slowly he walked toward the source of the light. The TV was on, but the sound was set to a low volume.
He spotted Holly slouching on the couch, wearing sweatpants and a loose T-shirt. She turned her head when she heard him approach.
“Hi,” she murmured.
He knew he’d had too much to drink, but he could still stand and walk normally. His speech wasn’t slurred, but his judgment was impaired. And the reason he knew that was because he now walked to the couch and sat down on its edge, nudging against Holly’s thigh, when he should go up to his room and go to sleep.
Holly shifted away from him, but he only used that opportunity to take up more space on the couch and force her into the corner.
“Hi,” he answered back. “Did you have a good time with Sabrina?”
She nodded, watching him like a hawk. And rightly so. His inhibitions were at an all-time low, and he was about to do something that he would surely regret in the morning. But he didn’t have the strength to stop himself. Not when Holly looked so enticing.
“Listen, Holly, we all make mistakes sometimes. I didn’t . . . ” He swallowed hard. “I overreact sometimes. You know. But it’s hard to take things back, even if you want to.”
“Some things nobody can take back,” she said in an even voice.
“I know. That’s why I wish there was a time machine so I could turn back time and undo things.”
Holly didn’t look directly at him. “Wouldn’t we all like that?”
Paul nodded solemnly. “Yeah.”
She moved to squeeze past him. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”
Before he knew what he was doing, he gripped her upper arm and stopped her. Then he leaned closer, dipping his head to hers. “Don’t go.”
She closed her eyes for a moment. “I have to.”
He stroked up her arm, caressing her shoulder, then brought his hand to her neck and slid it to her nape. He felt her tremble under his touch. Was it because she wanted to push him away or pull him closer? “Holly,” he whispered, bringing his lips to hers.
When her breath rushed out of her mouth and bounced against his, he lost all control and captured her lips with his.
Tasting her again after such a long time brought back the memories of that night more vividly than when he’d pleasured himself to images of Holly. His cock went rigid in a matter of seconds, and his hands did the only thing they could: They pressed her back into the cushions. Then his body was above her, his hard-on pressing against her, while his tongue explored her and he reacquainted himself with her taste.
Paul groaned at the sensations this kiss sent through his body. He’d missed this, missed kissing her, touching her, holding her in his arms.
But he wanted even more. His hand traveled lower and reached the apex of her thighs. Greedily, he cupped her sex through the fabric of her sweatpants and heard her gasp into his mouth.
He was so engrossed in the kiss that he realized too late that Holly was suddenly shoving against him and kicking him off her. He landed on the carpet.
“I’m not doing this again!” she cried. “Do you hear me? I can’t do this.” At the same time she jumped up and ran toward the hallway, disappearing from view.
“Fuck!” He’d messed things up even worse now.
Holly ran up the stairs and was glad when she reached the guest room moments later. Inside, she let herself fall on the bed and slammed her fist into the mattress.
No! No! No!
She would not give in to her desires just because it felt good to have Paul’s hands and lips on her body. No, she would not sink this low and sleep again with a man who had no respect for her. No matter what he said now. No matter how much she needed to be held.
Are you so sure about that? a voice inside her asked.
“I’m sure!” she murmured to herself.
Then why were you waiting for him to come home?
She sat up and clenched her jaw. It was true. She had been waiting for him, but only to make sure that he came home safely. After all, he’d been out drinking with his buddies, and she wanted to make sure nothing had happened to him.
Well, not even she believed that excuse. But that didn’t mean she wanted to sleep with him. Tomorrow she would talk to him and reiterate the boundaries they had agreed on. And if he couldn’t keep to them, then she had only one choice: to give back his money and leave.
And what if you’re the one who can’t keep to the boundaries? her inner voice piped up again.
In that case, she was truly and utterly screwed.
16
Paul had awakened at the crack of dawn and gone for a run on the beach, wanting to shake off the bitter aftertaste of the previous night. He felt like an ass for the way he’d behaved. And while he could certainly blame it on the amount of alcohol he’d consumed at the bar, it didn’t make him feel any better about himself.
When he came out of his room after his post-run shower, he heard sounds coming from downstairs. It appeared that Holly was up.
With trepidation, he walked into the kitchen and saw her filling the coffee machine with coffee grounds, then closing the lid and switching it on. She looked beautiful with her long blond hair falling untamed over her loose-fitting cream-colored sweater and her capri pants.
“Morning,” he said, and stopped at the door.
Holly whipped her head around to see him. “Morning.” Then she busied herself wiping down the kitchen counter.
It was obvious that she wanted to avoid him.
“Holly, I want to apologize.” He took a few steps closer, then stopped again, not wanting to encroach on her personal space. She wouldn’t appreciate it, not after his behavior last night. “I could say that I was drunk and that I kissed you because I was drunk. But it wouldn’t be the full truth.”
At his last words, she lifted her eyes and looked at him.
“Because the truth is, I kissed you because I’m still attracted to you. Nothing has changed. When I look at you, I want to touch you. I want to feel you in my arms, and I want to pleasure you. But I know that you don’t want that anymore. And I can’t really blame you.” Paul turned halfway and looked out the double doors that led into the garden and around to the pool. “I treated you terribly. We all make decisions in our lives because of the circumstances we find ourselves in. I don’t know what your circumstances were and why you chose to do what you do, and I don’t need to know. It’s not my place, just like it’s not my place to condemn you. I had no right to judge you. If I could turn back time, I would undo it all. But I don’t have those kinds of powers.”
“Thank you. You’re right. It would have been better if I hadn’t gone with you that night. It was foolish.”
Paul snapped his gaze back to her. “That’s not what I meant. I wouldn’t undo the night, just the morning after. But I promise you that you won’t have anything else to fear from me again. I promise you there’ll be no more inappropriate touching. You deserve better.”
Holly’s eyes suddenly shone with warmth, and it looked as though she wanted to say something, then changed her mind. Finally, two words crossed her lips. “Thank you.”
He opened one of the hanging cabinets and pulled two mugs from the shelf. “Do you want to go sailing later? Zach has invited everybody on his yacht. There’ll be lunch. Several of the guys are gonna be there. I think he was calling Daniel to see if he and Sabrina wanted to join us. I can find out for sure if they’re coming. But you don’t have to come, if you’d rather stay here on your own. I don’t mind. It’s up to—”
“I’d like to come,” Holly interrupted his waffling. “I’m sure it’ll be fun.”
Paul smiled at her, relieved that she’d bee
n gracious enough to forgive him his misstep. “Thank you.” Maybe they could at least be friends.
Two hours later, Paul brought his Porsche to a stop outside Zach’s beach house and turned off the engine. He motioned to another sports car parked next to several other cars, and turned to Holly. “Looks like Daniel and Sabrina are already here.”
“Great!” she answered and hopped out of the car.
He followed and pointed toward a walkway that led along the left side of the cottage. “That’s the shortest way to the dock.” Paul waited for her to walk around the car, then together they took the wooden walkway. “There’s something else.”
She turned her head to look at him. “Yes?”
“Last night, when I was out with Jay and Zach, your name came up.”
“In what way?”
Was she worried that in his drunken state, he’d told them that she was an escort? He couldn’t let her think that. “Don’t worry, I didn’t tell them the truth. I told them we’re dating.”
Holly nodded. “Okay.”
“So that means it might be a good thing if I held your hand so it looks realistic.” Paul glanced at her. “But don’t worry, we won’t have to kiss. The guys know I’m not very affectionate in public, so they won’t find it strange if they don’t see us all lovey-dovey.”
“Sure.” Then she stopped, making him stop too. “Since we’re being open, you should also know that I told Sabrina about our arrangement. I really didn’t have a choice.”
“Well, I guess she knows what you do for a living anyway.”
“She won’t judge,” Holly confirmed. “But Daniel walked in on us while I was telling her. I mean, he’s always known about my, uh . . . profession. But now he knows you hired me.”
“Crap!” Paul cursed.
Would his friend judge him now? When the question surfaced in his mind, he shook his head, suddenly realizing that he didn’t give a damn what any of his friends would think about the situation if they found out. It surprised him, because for his entire life he’d been conditioned to care about what other people thought of him: his parents, his colleagues, his friends, and even his enemies. Suddenly, that whole notion felt unimportant. Because all that mattered was what he thought—and what Holly thought.
“Never mind,” Paul assured himself and Holly. “Daniel won’t say anything to the others. Not to protect my reputation, but to protect yours. I know he thinks highly of you.”
“He’s a good guy. I like him.”
They continued down the path and reached the dock a few moments later. A shiny white sailboat was moored there, and several people were already aboard. Zach was busy loosening the ties that fastened the mainsail to the mast, so that it could be pulled up later when they were out on the water. Jay was doing the same at the jib at the bow.
At the stern, where the helm was located, Daniel stood behind Sabrina, who had her hands on the steering wheel, apparently showing her how to steer a boat.
Paul took Holly’s hand and waved at them just as Hunter’s head popped out from the cabin. He was the first to see them and waved back.
“Hey, guys, look who’s finally made it!” Hunter called out, and made the rest of the gang turn to look. Behind Hunter, Wade came out of the cabin.
Having reached the deck, Paul greeted them, “Guys! Sabrina! Good to see you!”
Hellos and other greetings came his and Holly’s way.
“Permission to come aboard,” Paul said, looking at Zach.
“Permission granted.”
Paul helped Holly step onto the deck. “Careful, it can be slippery.”
“Thank you.” Holly let go of his hand once she was aboard and immediately walked to Sabrina to hug her. “Hey, sweetie.”
Paul turned to his friends, addressing nobody in particular. “Where are Xavier and Michael? Are they not coming?”
While Jay still looked in Holly’s direction, Hunter answered, “They both had work stuff come up. They won’t be arriving in the Hamptons for another two or three days.”
“Bummer,” Paul said absentmindedly as he watched Jay approach Holly.
“Nice to see you again, Holly!” Jay said, and pulled her into a hug.
“It’s been a while,” Holly admitted.
Paul felt his jaw clench involuntarily. Was Jay trying to encroach on his territory? Trying to calm himself, Paul looked away and caught Daniel staring at him. He held his gaze for a few moments, making it clear to his friend that he wasn’t ashamed of what he was doing. It was Daniel who broke eye contact and then put his arm around his wife.
“Baby, shall I get you and Holly something to drink?” Daniel asked.
Paul turned away and walked to where Zach was continuing to untie the mainsail. “Can I give you a hand?”
Zach motioned to the headsail. “Given that Jay has abandoned me to flirt with your girlfriend, maybe you wanna finish what he started.”
“Sure.” Paul approached the jib and went to work.
“She’s even prettier than I remember,” Zach said, his voice low enough that the others in the stern of the boat wouldn’t be able to hear him.
Pride swelled in Paul’s chest. Zach was right. Holly was a stunner. He’d never seen a more beautiful woman. “She is.”
“You’re one lucky son of a bitch.”
He knew he wasn’t, because Holly wasn’t his. But he couldn’t admit that, either to his friends, or to himself. In his mind, at least for this week, she was his girlfriend. Even though she wouldn’t warm his bed. At least he could touch her occasionally, even if it was only to hold her hand.
All of a sudden, he couldn’t wait until his parents finally arrived. Then he could steal a kiss or two from her to convince his parents that they were intimate.
“Why so solemn?” Zach suddenly asked.
“Nothing. Just dreading that stupid anniversary event for my parents. It’s going to be a zoo,” he deflected.
Zach slapped him on the shoulder. “No worries. The guys and I will be there to take the heat off you.” His friend winked. “And if need be, we’ll rope Xavier in to flirt with your mother. He won’t mind.”
The thought of anybody having to flirt with his mother gave him the creeps. “I would never to do that to a friend. Besides, I’ve got Holly to take the heat off me. This will be one party where my mother won’t be able to stick me with an eligible bachelorette of her choosing.”
Zach laughed. “If you say so. But knowing your mother, she’ll have more up her sleeve. She won’t give up so easily.”
“But she won’t win.” Paul untied the last tie. “So, shall we get this boat out on the water and have some fun?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
He followed Zach to the stern, where the area was framed by benches on the port and starboard sides and the helm at the end. A speedboat raced past them and its wake hit the side of the boat, making it rock.
Used to being on a boat, Paul compensated for the movement, but Holly, who was still chatting with Jay, swayed backward. He was behind her in an instant, catching her before she could fall.
“Careful, baby,” he said, the term of endearment slipping out before he could stop himself. Well, if he was lucky, Holly would think he’d used it for the benefit of his friends.
She turned her head to him and smiled. “Thank you, Paul.”
Was she smiling because she was truly grateful, or was she putting on an act for his friends, to pretend they were a new couple in love?
He kept his arm around her waist. “Anytime. I guess you’ll have to grow some sea legs first, huh?”
Jay chuckled. “Don’t listen to him, Holly! Your legs are fine the way they are.”
Paul tossed him a glare, annoyed about his obvious come-on.
His friend rolled his eyes, then winked at Holly and leaned in. “Watch out for this guy. I think he’s got a possessive streak.” Then Jay turned to Hunter. “Hey, where’s that beer you were going to bring me from the galley?”
Hunter
lifted his hands. One held a half-empty bottle of beer, the other a bottle of water. “Sorry, ladies first.” Then he walked to where Daniel and Sabrina sat on the bench, and handed the water to Sabrina.
Paul instantly noticed that Sabrina was as white as a sheet.
“I don’t think I can stay.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “The rocking is making me sick.”
“That’s nothing yet,” Hunter claimed. “Wait until we’re out there. It’ll get a lot rockier.”
Daniel put his arm around Sabrina’s shoulders. “I think we’d better get you off this boat. I don’t want you to get sick.” He put his other hand on her round belly and stroked her tenderly. “Come, let’s go.”
Daniel looked in Zach’s direction. “Sorry, buddy, but I think sailing is going to be out for us while Sabrina is pregnant.” He rose, helping Sabrina up.
“No worries, Daniel,” Zach replied.
“You can stay, Daniel, really. You shouldn’t lose out just because I’m feeling a little queasy.”
“I don’t want you to be alone,” he replied.
“I’ll take her home,” Holly offered, walking to Sabrina and taking her arm.
Daniel looked at Holly. “But then you’re missing out on all the fun.”
Holly made a dismissive gesture. “I really don’t mind. You should hang out with your friends. Sabrina and I will be fine.”
Sabrina gave her a grateful smile and when Daniel nodded, Paul felt disappointment wash through him. He would have enjoyed spending a few hours with Holly in the carefree environment of a sailboat.
Holly turned to him. “You don’t mind, Paul, do you?”
He took a step closer. “No, of course not,” he lied. “Take care of Sabrina, that’s more important.”
“Thank you. I’ll see you later.” Holly leaned toward him and gave him a soft kiss on his lips. The contact was so short that he could have dreamed it. But he knew he hadn’t: The envy on his friends’ faces was proof positive that she had truly kissed him.
“Why don’t you take my car?” He pulled the keys from his pocket and pressed them into her palm. “I’ll get one of the guys to drop me at home later.”
