"Do you get along at all?"
"Over the millennia we've achieved a dynamic equilibrium—more or less a constant state of war. Even mother-daughter colonies, after enough generations, will come to see the other as an enemy. For some of us, we get—lonely. That's why we emigrate."
". . . you came here looking for company?"
"To live only to raid and decimate nearby family isn't a life at all.” Leslie gestures out the window. “This is something greater. Here I can relax, contribute to society. And live a meaningful, peaceful life."
"Here? Really?"
"Well,” she shrugs and smiles, “right after I kill Edward."
Leslie goes into the guest room and shuts the door. Several minutes pass while I stand at the window as if it's the first time I'd really seen the university. I'm not sure what's going to happen. She's going to kill Edward, that much I understand. Hopefully with minimal property damage, but then again perhaps she could be, even at this moment, transforming into a giant, toothy beast in my guest room.
I call Dimitri. “Do you think I'm proud?"
After a long, thoughtful pause he answers, “In a way, I think you identify a lot with your work and your achievements.” When Doctor Dimitri Astrophysics starts answering personal questions like a politician you know you're in trouble.
"Do you think that this whole Edward thing has more to do with wounded pride and less to do with a deranged attempt to get back with Aleks—OH HOLY FECK!” At that moment I happen to look down and see the thick, black ribbon of specs flowing out from under the guest room door. I follow the ribbon out the front door where it winds down a stairwell post, crosses the courtyard and courses into Edward and Aleksa's condo.
So this is how you kill a spec colony. I stand transfixed in the entranceway, ignoring the phone and Dimitri's frantic shouts and watch the flow and counter-flow of specs past my feet. Edward the lonely, misfit Spec Colony who believes he can belong to a greater whole is facing his last moments. He's traveled thousands of light years to come here, to Earth, only to be done in by a lonely, misfit human who'd rather kill him out of pride.
Out of pride.
On the whole Aleksa is materialistic, manipulative, and self-centered. We used to fight a lot.
I step over the living river of specs and run into the guest room. “Stop! Yow!” Leslie is sprawled out on the floor; at least most of her. She's deflated, her plastic skin wrinkled and shrunken, the bulk of her is now the living trail of warpath specs. “Leslie! You have to stop!"
"What?” Her sunken face flops over to look at me.
"The reason you came here is because you believe there's more to living than just killing. You can't start your new life like this. Whether you like it or not, you and Edward are part of the same entity now."
"Umm, it's a little too late for that.” The specs, I can see now, are all returning. Leslie props herself up on an elbow and slowly inflates. “It was quite easy, actually. I think you really weakened him with all those attacks."
"Hey, thanks. Y'know, he acted like I didn't even touch him."
"Pride isn't a strictly human emotion,” Leslie sits up. Her entire body creaks like a rusty hinge. She pauses, still inflating. And inflating. In fact she keeps growing well past her original, willowy self and when she finally stands up Leslie has become large, thick and heavy with a distended belly.
"Edward's dead?” I ask.
"Well, not yet. I have to incorporate his neuron specs into my own network, but once that's done he'll be completely digested."
"Isn't there something you can do?” I plead. “Can't you just . . . put him back?"
She considers this. “Well, the raid was such a success I'm going to have to bud a new colony. I could make it so the new colony has only Edward's neuron specs. He'd have to grow a new body, but he'd have the same mind, essentially."
* * * *
Leslie and I move out of the condos, end up getting a nice place in the suburbs. I see Edward and Aleksa sometimes at the Faculty Club, walking hand in hand. They get a lot more conspicuous stares now than they ever did before—mostly because Edward looks like a six-year-old. He's a new colony, after all. But I'm sure in time he'll grow into himself.
Copyright © 2010 D.T. Mitenko
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Poetry: NEOSAUR by Robert Borski
* * * *
* * * *
Swirling in a charybdis
of blue scented
water
—
like a long necked koi
with thalidomide
fins,
—
my six-year-old daughter's
pet, a miniature
beast
—
retro-sourced from buried
code in the chicken
genome, is
—
lifelessly flushed away to
the chemical tarpits of
New La Brea,
—
Charlotte's tears falling mutely,
like gentle post-diluvian
rain.
—
Copyright © Robert Borski
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Short Story: AMELIA PILLAR'S ETIQUETTE FOR THE SPACE TRAVELER by Kristine Kathryn Rusch
Kristine Kathryn Rusch's latest book, Recovering Apollo 8 and Other Stories, was published by Golden Gryphon. You can find updates on her forthcoming work at www.kristinekathrynrusch. com. While we will be publishing one of Kris's far-future novellas of danger and interstellar travel before the end of 2010, readers with an immediate need for survival tips and the proper decorum for such voyages may glean this information from . . .
The Interstellar Travel Company provides this short complimentary manual for each passenger on its ships. Travelers desiring more information should buy the entire updated version of Amelia Pillar's Etiquette for the Space Traveler in the gift shop.
* * * *
I. Introduction
For most travelers, a trip on an interstellar cruise ship is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Few can afford the minimum three-month trip to the outer regions of the solar system. Even fewer can afford the year-long adventure to five nearby star systems which you are about to embark upon.
Should this trip go according to plan (and rest assured, most do), you will see native creatures in the wild, see aliens on their homeworlds, and see natural wonders beyond human imagination.
This short guide shall prepare you for all of those things.
But first, you must survive the trip itself. And for many first time travelers, the trip is the most difficult aspect of the journey.
II. The Ship
* The Suite
By now, you have arrived in your suite and you are a bit startled at its size. Even though the designers have done all they can to make the two- or three-room cabin that will be your home for the next twelve months seem large, you feel momentarily claustrophobic. This is caused, in part, by the low ceiling and the large furniture. The large furniture accommodates all of our human guests, including those of expansive girth. If you and your traveling companion do not consider yourselves expansive, summon your steward and request normal-size furniture.
Once your steward reprograms your couch and easy chairs to smaller proportions, your living area will seem quite large. However, do not request a smaller bed. Although such a request seems quite practical now on the first day of your voyage, it will not as the trip progresses.
Have your steward show you where the blinds are. While the floor-to-ceiling windows with views of space and its environs seem quite lovely at the moment, there will be times on this voyage when you do not want to be reminded that you are in a tube floating through a hostile environment, with only a thin membrane between you and the vacuum of space.
For the most part, such realities will not impinge upon your journey. But there will be moments, particularly after the first round of survival drills, when you will think that you have mad
e a terrible mistake by leaving the safety of Earth.
At that time, remind yourself that you are an adventurer!
Adventurers explore the great beyond. You are part of a grand tradition of travelers who venture into hostile environs. The ship's library carries adventure journals going as far back as the Victorian era. Consider yourself an English gentleman riding his first elephant. Or a well-heeled nineteenth century woman venturing down the Amazon with only a parasol and native guides to protect her.
In that spirit of adventure, you will learn how to use the lifepods. You will become an expert at locking yourself in your room and establishing its own internal environmental system. You will excel at putting on your own environmental suit and sending messages through its comm links to the nearest interstellar vessels.
Look at such drills as tests of the imagination. Remember that in the century of interstellar cruising, we have only lost ten thousand ships—and more than half of those were in the difficult early years.
When you finish your first drill, you will feel a bit shaken. It is only natural. Close the blinds, pour yourself one of the nice cabernets from your en suite wine cabinet, dim the lights, and watch the living room holounit—preferably a scene from one of the places you are about to visit.
This is not the time to regret your decision! You must remember that you are an adventurer and up to each task that faces you!
* * * *
* The Public Areas
Depending on the size of your ship and the number of guests, the public areas will seem either unbelievably large or amazingly cramped.
In each case, remember that you shall be traveling with the same group of people for the next 365 days. It is best not to antagonize them. Loud noises and strong odors cause the most clashes on cruise ships.
Unfortunately, both loud noises and strong odors emanate from children. Should your ship allow children in the adult common areas, make certain you go into those areas accompanied by your most tolerant attitudes.
Should you have children of your own, sniff them before you take them from your suite. If they have eaten something offensive (onions come to mind) or are in need of changing, take care of those problems before venturing into the corridor. School your children in the art of silence. Although our ancestors’ adage “Children should be seen and not heard” is outdated on Earth, it should be the mantra of the cruising parent.
Even ships that allow children in the adult areas have child-only sections. We suggest that you and your children spend all of your time in those sections. You and your fellow passengers will be happy—and you will avoid the sniffing, silencing rituals that other, more insensitive parents must go through.
* * * *
* Environmental Systems
The environmental systems on all Interstellar Travel Company's ships are state of the art. However, on certain stretches of the trip (particularly those trips with long distances between stops), the Earth-level gravity must be shut off so that the system can go through its weekly routine maintenance.
Some travelers get ill in zero-G. If you are one, inform your steward. You may receive permission to activate your en suite environmental system, preserving your Earth gravity.
However, true adventurers overcome their space sickness to learn the joys of traveling in zero-G.
Zero-G makes even the most jaded traveler feel like a child again. Floating is the closest we humans get to flying. On the first zero-G section of the trip, you will see even the most stodgy passenger giggling hysterically as he cartwheels weightlessly through the corridors.
Most of these zero-G adventures will only last a few hours, but one, in the very center of the year-long trip, will last two days.
This creates certain challenges. It is usually best to forgo water showers during this extended period. Instead, take a sponge-bath following the specific instructions posted on the wall of your bathroom.
Rest assured that each bathroom on the ship has straps on the toilet, plus a special seat cover that prevents your waste from floating out of the room with you. (If traveling with children, one must insist that each member of the family use the seat cover or your suite will become uninhabitable in short order.)
Dining presents its own challenges. The ship offers courses called “Dining in Zero-G.” Only those who have taken the courses will be allowed extensive meals. Everyone else will be given food cubes for the duration of the gravity outage.
Your bed comes with an attachable pouch, so that you can sleep during the long gravity outage. Have your steward assemble the pouch for you days before the outage begins. After the outage begins, he will be dealing with emergencies (usually caused by those travelers who do not believe in following instructions) and will have no time for the niceties of setting up sleeping pouches.
* * * *
III. Excursions
Most excursions will take you to approved human areas of various alien worlds. While many of you will tell the staff you are fully capable of behaving well unsupervised, do not leave the designated areas and follow the guidelines for each trip.
The aliens you meet in these designated areas will be accustomed to human contact. They will abide by our customs, provided you do not accidentally grab the wrong appendage when you are shaking “hands."
Aliens outside of these areas will follow their own customs. And while there are stories of passengers carried away by angry aliens, such tales simply are not true. These stories come from the land of the Buhgeye, tall green aliens with an appreciation of human beauty. Those passengers carried off, screaming, in a single tentacle, return much later, mollified and holding a flattering portrait of themselves.
* * * *
IV. Returning Home
Once you have embarked on your adventure, you will not be able to return home until the designated date. Since you have signed documentation to such effect, no amount of begging or pleading or bribery will allow you to disembark at the nearest space station and make a return trip.
The ship has fine doctors, so health issues will be resolved on board. Medications and therapies will help those passengers who suffer from advanced space sickness, claustrophobia, and homesickness. Those passengers unable to withstand the rigors of space travel will spend the entire trip in our virtual reality unit, reliving stress-free moments from their past or adventures from stories provided by resident psychiatrists.
As the end of the journey nears, most passengers find themselves unwilling to leave the familiarity of their (now-comfortable) suite. Unfortunately, you must disembark upon arrival at our Earth port. We do provide a reacclimatization service that helps our passengers regain their “land legs” again.
To help reintegrate yourself into society, do not brag about your trip to your friends. Show them a few select highlights, but let them ask the questions.
Passengers who brag and, worse, those who embellish the details of their adventure, are the ones who become the source of the rumors you have heard about the discomforts of space travel. Spare future passengers the hyperbole, particularly if they plan to travel on an Interstellar Travel Company cruise ship in the future.
* * * *
V. Further Information
Passengers who desire more information on various aspects of space travel should visit the gift shop. In addition to Amelia Pillar's Etiquette for the Space Traveler, passengers will find other illuminating titles, such as Space Viruses and How to Avoid Them, Zero-G for Dummies, and the ever-popular Aliens: The Good, the Bad, and the Edible.
Copyright © 2010 Kristine Kathryn Rusch
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Novella: A HISTORY OF TERRAFORMING by Robert Reed
Although Robert Reed tells us he isn't really convinced that there will be a history of terraforming, he paints a vivid and convincing portrait of the sacrifices and triumphs that might take place over the next thousand years of one man's life. Bob is currently at work on his first YA novel. Like much of his fiction it will be a world mixing familiari
ty and strangeness, but this one will also have a dash of kids in peril.
Mars
Simon's father started talking about nuts on walls, about how the seeds he was working with looked very much like wall nuts. Then he winked, handing over the wonder that he had been carrying in his big palm. “What do you think of this, Simon?” But before the boy could answer, his father cautioned him to use both hands and be especially careful. “Not because you might damage the seed,” the man said. “Or because it would ever hurt you. But certain objects are important, sometimes even sacred, and they deserve all the consideration and respect that we can possibly show for them."
Considering how small it was, the seed was exceptionally heavy. It was black and hard as diamond but covered with small, sharp-edged pits. Against his bare palms, the object felt warm. Maybe the heat was left over from where the seed was kept, or maybe it was warm in the same way that little boys were warm. Either answer might be true. He didn't ask. He just held the object in his cupped hands and stared, wondering what would happen if the impossible occurred, if the seed decided to awaken now.
For one person, time passed.
Then his father asked again, “What do you think, Simon?"
The boy's thoughts were shifting quickly, clinging to no single idea. He was telling himself that he wasn't even three years old. But on the Earth he would already be four, and every four-year-old that he knew enjoyed large, impressive opinions. But if he lived near Neptune, he wouldn't be a month old and his father would never take him riding along on his working trips. And if this were Mercury, then Simon would be many years old, and because of certain pernicious misunderstandings about calendars and the passage of time, he believed that on Mercury he would be an adult. He was remembering how people said that he was going to grow up tall and handsome. It was as if adults had the power to peer into the future. They didn't admit to children that they had this talent, but the truth often leaked out in careless words and unwanted glimpses. Simon liked the idea of peering into the future. Right now, he was trying to imagine himself living in some important, unborn century. The nearly three-year-old boy wanted to be a grown man entrusted with some very important job. But for the time being, riding with his father seemed important enough. That's what he was thinking when he handed back that precious and very expensive seed, grinning as he said, “It's delicious, Dad.” He had never been happier than he was just then.
Asimov's SF, July 2010 Page 13
