by Eden Ashley
His arms embraced her an instant later. “You’re okay now.”
As he rubbed her back and tenderly kissed her forehead, Davey couldn’t recall a time when she’d felt so happy and ashamed all at once. Throwing her arms around him, she hugged him as tightly as humanly possible. Not even gale force winds could have ripped them apart.
She never wanted to let go. Five years. She had endured five years of searching, crying, hoping, grieving, longing, and waiting. Now he was back. And she had so many questions. The tears began to fall before she could stop them.
“I’m so sorry, Davey.”
“Me too.” She sniffled. “The fight we had was stupid. You needed to go back and find out more about yourself. I never should have tried to stop you.”
“No, Davey.” He tried to peel her away, but Davey clung to him. She was a mess and didn’t want him to see her like that. However, Ethan persisted until she yielded. “I never should have left,” he said as their eyes finally met.
Wiping her tears, Davey shook her head and tried to rein in her emotions. Ethan wanted to take all of the blame, but she wouldn’t allow it. “You didn’t have a choice. Global Cures came for you.”
“Had I only stayed with you that night instead of running away, then we would have at least had the chance to say goodbye.”
Before Ethan, Davey had been a reckless kid—lonely, crazy with anger, hating herself, and making hordes of shitty decisions. But meeting Ethan had changed all of that. She had connected with him like with no other and he became a bridge to the outside world that Davey could cross without looking back. She knew it was insane to believe Ethan had come back from the dead just for her, but he was her soulmate. She never would have found him if he hadn’t. It wasn’t fair that Ethan had only been back in her life for less than twelve hours and already she had to think about losing him again. She loved him so much.
Davey sobbed as the flood of tears began anew. No matter what, time would always be lost between them. Maybe Lana was right. Maybe Ethan was the one guy she couldn’t be with.
“Don’t cry, Davey.”
Wiping her tears, he cupped both sides of Davey’s face and pulled her gently toward him. Then his lips found hers, and a jolt surged through Davey’s body as if she had grabbed a live wire. Every day, every hour, and every second they’d spent apart was poured into that kiss, warming Davey from the inside out as she tasted every inch of his tongue and explored his mouth like it was the first time. Clutching his arms, she dug her nails into his rippled biceps, holding on for dear life as her body responded to him and came alive with raging desire. His lips left her mouth to ravage her neck, setting nerve endings on fire as each kiss stole a little more of her control. Soon she was writhing against him, her thighs and belly tightening with need. Panting with every breath, she gasped as his teeth clamped down on her earlobe while his hand captured her breast, dragging roughly across the hardened and sensitive nipple. Then Ethan’s hips were driving into her, increasing the throb in her loins as she discovered the extent of his arousal. Reaching down, she gripped the thick and rigid shaft that pressed so eagerly against her belly and stroked upward in several slow, firm movements. He groaned hoarsely, his cock jerking and twitching under her touch, engorging to a size that made the ache between her thighs deepen.
“Davey,” he said, breathing her name as a rough whisper. Then his hands were pulling her shirt up her belly, baring her breasts and the lace-trimmed bra they strained against. Shoving the material to the side, he exposed her nipples, wasting no time in sucking and licking the turgid, rose-colored buds with his tortuous mouth. Moaning, Davey fisted her hands through his hair.
And then she froze. Fuck.
Travis.
Fuck. Fuck.
Fuck.
The thought of her boyfriend had the effect of ice water in her veins. Gripped in a vise of guilt, Davey wrenched herself from the moment, taking Ethan by the shoulders to push him away. Straightening, he stopped immediately. His hands moved to her waist and rested there gently, but Davey was aware of the minute pressure exerted by each fingertip.
A look of worry creased his features. “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” she said quickly, shaking her head. She opened her mouth to explain, but clamped it shut again without saying a word.
Confusion evident, Ethan watched her quietly and waited for her to speak. Davey’s gaze drifted too low, catching sight of the part of him that wasn’t so patient. Bulging against the front of his jeans, his cock threatened to split the very seams apart. A furious blush spread through Davey’s cheeks, but not from passion. She felt like shit. No matter what history she shared with Ethan, Travis didn’t deserve this. And Ethan deserved the truth.
“We can’t do this.” Tugging down her shirt, Davey decided not to beat around the bush. “I have a boyfriend,” she blurted out. “We’ve been seeing each other for a year. I met him because I was looking for you—working at Global Cures—and before today, I thought we were getting serious.” With every word Ethan’s expression became more and more stricken, but Davey was snowballing down a slope of panic. She couldn’t stop rambling. “He asked me to move in with him a few days ago. He’s a great guy, and what I just let happen…I crossed the line,” she finished miserably.
Ethan’s stormy eyes darkened with hurt, but he didn’t speak. He didn’t move, not even to mimic breathing.
Davey couldn’t stand it. “Please say something,” she begged.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
Grasping her hair with one hand, Davey held her stomach with the other. She wanted to throw up. Seeing Ethan this way—wounded and betrayed—and knowing she was the cause of it was unbearable. “Hurt me, Ethan. I deserve it.” Sitting down heavily on the floor, Davey drew her knees up and buried her face against them. She couldn’t stand to look at his pain anymore. “I am so sorry.”
A lengthy silence filled her bedroom, stretching on to the point where she couldn’t be sure that Ethan hadn’t left, and Davey was too afraid to check. If she saw Ethan was gone—that he had walked out for a second time—her heart would never recover.
Muted footsteps trailed against the carpet, followed by the soft creak of an aged floorboard as Ethan settled next to her. She thought she heard him sigh, and then his soft voice—heavy with regret broke the quiet.
“I don’t know if you will understand this, but my reality is divided into two halves, Davey. There is the part of my mind that is controlled by commands and algorithms. When that part is dominant, I do not know you, Davey Little. I am not even conscious of your existence. But then there is the other actuality where I do know you and understand love again, and it makes me feel more human. It gives me back control.” He paused.
“What I’m saying is that time works differently for me, Davey. Each time the human part of me is stripped away, it’s you who brings me back. When that happens, I become more like the guy I remember being. But only one of those realities can exist at a time. For me, it hasn’t been years that we’ve been apart, Davey. For me, it was yesterday when I lost you.”
His confession felt like a knife through her chest, and Davey’s head whipped up in shock. Horrified, she looked at Ethan. His hands had balled into fists. His face was a mask of pain. If Davey felt like shit before, now it was piled higher and deeper. There was nothing to say, nothing to do, except wish she could take it back.
“Ethan,” she whispered, swallowing thickly. “I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s not your fault, Davey.”
“It’s not yours either.”
A sad smile lifted one corner of his mouth. “So, what do we do?”
On the verge of tears yet again, Davey shook her head. She was between a rock and a hard place. Any choice resulted in someone getting hurt, as well as making her an awful bitch of a human being. Ethan—her first love—had come roaring back into her life, but now Davey had a boyfriend. A great guy who she had begun to share more and more of her life with. Despite ev
erything, Davey had developed real feelings for Travis, and she couldn’t just throw him away as if he meant nothing. But the thought of hurting Ethan created the pain of a hot poker stabbing through her gut.
An unexpected knock sounded at the door, startling Davey. Ethan, of course, didn’t react. The guy was impervious to surprises. “Come in,” Davey called, knowing it had to be Hogan and nervously realizing he would never interrupt unless it was urgent.
Hogan poked his head in, peering cautiously at the two of them. “I guess you don’t have your phone. There’s a message on mine for you. Tra—uh, Dr. Kane called a while ago. He’s coming over…probably like now.”
Oh hell. Davey pulled a trembling hand through her hair and risked a panicked glance at Ethan. “Right,” she said, looking at Hogan once more. “I never went back to the lab, and he must have seen the news about your school by now. He has to be worried sick.”
Ethan stood up. “Well, Dr. Kane is here now.”
Mouth instantly dry, Davey licked her lips. “Are you leaving?” she asked, uncertain of what answer she wanted to hear.
“I can’t,” Ethan said, letting no hint of emotion to slip through. “The threat has not been eliminated.”
When she didn’t reply, he moved to the bedroom door, and Hogan quietly stepped aside to let him pass. Seized by a spell of anxiety, Davey jumped from the floor and grabbed Ethan’s hand, stopping him. Eventually, he turned to look at her, but she still had no words. Davey didn’t know why she had reacted that way, or what she hoped to say to make any of it better. As her brain continued to falter and the silence stretched on, it was Ethan who finally spoke.
“It’s all right,” he said, and gently stroked her cheek. “We’ll talk later.”
“Okay,” Davey whispered, thinking later was too soon and too late all at once because she was crumbling inside.
5
Davey reluctantly left the sanctuary of her bedroom and went downstairs, trudging along as if headed to her own funeral. She couldn’t stop thinking about Ethan and the wretched look on his face when she’d confessed to having a boyfriend. Though they had mutually absolved each other of wrongdoing regarding their tragic separation, Davey couldn’t help feeling as if she’d committed some sort of betrayal. After molding both her studies and career in the sole pursuit of finding Ethan—even if it meant working for the monsters who enslaved him—somewhere along the way, she had lost hope. There was no other explanation for allowing herself to fall into the arms of another man, especially not while Ethan had still needed her. And Davey wasn’t sure she could forgive herself for that.
As soon as she opened the front door, Travis blew in like a summer wind and gathered her into his arms for a warm, lingering embrace. “Thank God, Davey. I was so worried. I saw the news reports, and when you didn’t come back to the lab, I didn’t know what to think.” Giving her one last squeeze, he pulled away and looked her over. The hickory-colored eyes behind his thick-rimmed glasses brimmed with concern and love. “I must have called a dozen times. Why didn’t you answer?”
Thinking back to the passionate encounter she’d shared with Ethan only moments ago, Davey almost became ill with guilt and barely kept her wits long enough to answer his question. “I couldn’t,” she explained feebly. “There was an accident. I wrecked my car…and left my phone.”
Travis frowned. “You got into a car accident?”
“Yes. On the way to get Hogan…I panicked…was driving too fast.” Davey swallowed and considered just telling him the truth, but she honestly had yet to understand exactly what was happening, and until she could pull her head out of her ass long enough to figure it out, half-truths would have to suffice.
“Where is Hogan? Is he okay?”
“Upstairs and yes, he’s fine.”
“So, the gunman was reportedly a disgruntled employee—the janitor. The guy had worked at that school for over decade and had a squeaky-clean background with no priors, not even a parking ticket. It’s almost incredulous. It’s difficult to accept that there are rational minds out there debased enough to take a bunch of children hostage. I’m glad the bastard was killed at the scene.”
Poor Mr. Wiggins, Davey thought. No one would ever know the truth of his death, how the last few hours of his life had not been within his control. The horrible crimes—the gruesome murder—had been committed by a madman. She then realized there had been no mention of the other dead body—the one in her wrecked and blood-stained BMW. That’s odd. No way the car hasn’t been discovered by now. And the news would have definitely run a story on finding another body so close to the school and on the same day as the shooting.
“Maybe there was more to it than we understand,” Davey said. Knowing the truth, she couldn’t join Travis in condemning Mr. Wiggins. There would be enough people doing that.
Travis shook his head. “Don’t play devil’s advocate. I hate it when you do that.” He sighed. “It really bugs me that you didn’t call. You experienced some pretty significant trauma today, but didn’t turn to me. If we’re going to move forward, you’ve got to learn to be more open with me.”
“I’m sorry, Travis. I told you, my phone…” she trailed.
“You could have borrowed a phone. Hogan’s seems to be working fine.”
Feeling her face flush, Davey fell silent. Travis was hurt and annoyed, and he had every right to be. What the situation didn’t need was for her to lose her temper.
“Oh hell,” Travis abruptly said and dragged one hand across his face. “I sound like my father.” He pursed his lips. “Babe, I’m sorry. You’re white as a sheet. You’ve been through hell today, and here I am being an asshole.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t.” Taking her hand, he led her to into the living room and noticed Ethan who had posted up in a corner across the room. Travis’ voice noticeably chilled as he asked, “Who’s this?”
“This is—uh—Special Agent Remington. He’s the officer who drove me and Hogan home.”
Travis knew the cliff notes about Davey’s complicated past. Omitting all the mad science and supernatural elements, she had revealed the tale of conspiracy and murder that rocked the town of Harpey during her senior year of high school. She had told him about Ethan, the rookie cop who’d been her first love. Davey was still healing from the breakup when she’d become an intern at TruGreen Labs. Introducing him as Special Agent Remington was an attempt to forestall the inevitable realization Travis would have about Ethan’s true identity.
“That was kind of him,” Travis acknowledged, but an undercurrent of suspicion tempered his words. Moving past Davey, he walked over to where Ethan leaned quietly against the sage-tinted wall. “Special Agent,” he repeated, while looking him up and down.
“That’s right,” Ethan said and extended his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Kane.”
Travis seemed to somewhat relax. Nodding, he shook Ethan’s hand. “It’s not every day that I find such an imposing, ruggedly handsome stranger lurking in my girlfriend’s house. So, at least she’s mentioned me.”
Ethan smiled tightly. “It wasn’t the first thing we talked about, but she did manage to eventually get around to it. And then Ms. Little only had the nicest things to say.”
Davey cringed at the subtle dig, while Travis beamed proudly. Pulling her next to him, he bent to kiss her. She endured the touch of his lips for about three seconds before pulling away. Fire burned Davey’s cheeks as she wrung her hands and stared at the floor. When she finally got the nerve to look up, both Ethan and Travis were staring. Ethan’s expression was unreadable. Travis seemed both worried and taken aback.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” she answered hoarsely. “Would either of you guys like some coffee? Or vodka?” Not waiting to hear their response, Davey escaped to the kitchen. “I sure as hell need some,” she muttered.
Travis followed her into the kitchen. “Babe, sit down. I’ll make a cup of tea to relax you.”
“I don’t want tea,” she said, reaching into the cupboard that housed the alcohol. A more responsible guardian probably would have had a lock placed on the cabinet, but Davey trusted Hogan enough and had skipped that precaution. So far, she hadn’t regretted it. If he ever actually wants to have friends over, I’ll look into it.
“Well you’re pretty wired right now, so I don’t think you need any of that.”
“Wrong,” she said and set a bottle of Van Gogh on the counter. “Alcohol has a depressant effect on the brain. Which happens to be exactly what I need right now. So, unless you plan on dropping a Valium in that useless cup of fucking tea, I’ll stick to this.”
Travis’s eyes just about doubled in size. “What’s gotten into you?”
“I’m sorry.” Wrapping both arms around her torso, she leaned against the counter and said nothing further as Ethan walked into the kitchen.
“Davey,” he called in a soft, uncertain voice. “I’m going to leave now, but do not worry. I will remain close.”
She swallowed. “Sure,” she whispered. “Whatever.”
Nodding, Ethan turned, and Davey watched him leave with hot tears stinging the back of her eyes. It was only after the front door closed that she noticed Travis was quietly staring at her. He wasn’t happy.
Shit.
“What the fuck was that about?”
“I’m sorry,” she apologized again and decided to relent from her earlier stance. She would have to be more careful if she had any hope of hiding the truth about Ethan. Maybe yielding on one damn cup of tea would help lower the red flags she had already raised. “You’re right. It’s been a crazy day, and I need to relax. Make the tea, Travis. I’ll wait on the sofa.”
A few minutes later, an appeased Travis came from the kitchen carrying a pair of steaming mugs. Sitting next to her, he pushed a mug into Davey’s hands. The heat was comforting, as was the smell of lavender that wafted into her nostrils. She recognized the brand. One of Travis’s favorites, he swore by its detoxification and rejuvenating effects, routinely having a cup after sex or a long workout, and had started keeping a tin of the custom-blended leaves within her kitchen cupboards.
