“You might as well get comfortable, Kourtney. I’m about to go take a shower. You coming?” Niq’ looked at me.
“You know I don’t take showers with niggas. I’ll pass.” I shook my head at him, watching him kick off his Unique’s. Yeah, the nigga signed with Reebok and had his own low-quarters, which were hot by the way.
“Kourtney, we need to talk.” Niq’ looked my face over.
I shook my head. “About the reality show? Nah, nigga, I’ll pass. Ask one of your hoes to do it. I’m sure you’ve banged quite a few of Ricque’s, or Saint’s, cousins. You already know Nina ain’t got time for this shit. My cousin is too private. She ain’t putting her shit on television. Her life has been on TV enough as it is for the past few months. Did you not just see that shit that went down between the Nicholas family on CNN? You didn’t see those bodies laid out all over Valez Pharmaceuticals? You didn’t see Ricque’s and Saint’s siblings spread out, all shot up and laid out all over the floor of Saint’s mansion? There are no siblings left! Ricque and Saint are all they have, the last of fourteen got-damn children! You think they really wanna be all over—”
“Oh my goodness, do you ever shut the fuck up?” Niq’ laughed, pulling me to him by my face, gently kissing my lips.
I exhaled in his mouth as this man kissed me like I hadn’t been kissed since the last time that he kissed me, which was over a decade ago. I held his hands, which held my face, as I kissed him back.
“It’s been too long since you’ve been gone. Feels good when I’m with you. I miss you.” Played over and over in my mind as the nigga lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, carrying me through the house.
I kissed him and held onto him. I missed him so much. I was full of pain. Full of confusion. Full of unanswered questions. I knew I shouldn’t have been there with Niq’ that day, but I needed him. I loved him. I missed him. He was my first love. That day in that beach house, he carried me into one of the bedrooms in the house where he let me down to the floor and undressed me. He ran his hands over every inch of my body, admiring the scenery. I watched him undress. He was every bit of amazing. His body was smooth, flawless, cut, muscular, chocolate. I was not one to be nervous, but Niq’s very presence made my heart tremble. I stared down at his dick before he pulled me close to him, holding my body against his, before backing into the bed. Niq’ and I got onto that bed that day, and I never wanted to leave. Yeah, I gave in too easily when I didn’t even know the whole story behind him and Peanut. I shouldn’t have let Niq’ enter my body that day. I shouldn’t have let him kiss me, or touch me, or taste me. I wrapped that man up in my legs and wouldn’t let him go until he made me cum. Our body’s still fit together, lock and key, after all those years. The moment our bodies locked, the world stopped spinning. Nothing and no one mattered but him.
***
“You fucked that nigga, Kourtney?” Brittanie had the nerve to confront me at Nina’s shop the following morning.
I rolled my eyes, flipping through my calendar the following morning to find the name of my client that was supposed to be coming in that morning to get a sleeve tatted on his arm.
My girls glanced at me, watching me really not give a fuck about the shit that Brittanie was talking. She always was minding everyone’s business but her own.
“Peanut is on her way over here. Our flight leaves in an hour, and here we are, wasting time, talkin’ to your stupid ass!” Brittanie scoffed.
I looked at her.
“What did that nigga tell you? That he’s not fuckin’ with Peanut anymore? Did he tell you why he has the kids? Did he tell you that Peanut has got-damn HIV, and that’s the reason why he has been raising those girls?” Brittanie informed me.
Everyone gasped.
I sighed, not really knowing what to say.
“We slept with a lot of niggas, Kourtney! That could have been me! Bitch, that could have been you! It could have been Tyson, but he got lucky! You and Nina have been gone a long time and a lot has been going on back home. Peanut has been hanging in there for the past ten years. She’s been battling this shit alone!” Brittanie exclaimed. “My best friend is dying, and here you are, fuckin’ around with her man! Did you know the nigga is fuckin’ around with this bitch in New York, this chick who used to be Peanut’s publicist for her clothing line? The bitch’s name is Kristin Collins! I’m cool with the bitch’s sister, who says that the bitch lost a baby of his a few months ago, and she’s pregnant by the nigga now!”
I looked at Nina, who sat there on the stood alongside me, an ‘I ain’t even in the mood for this shit’ expression on her face. The bell to the shop door chimed as Peanut strolled her way into the shop. Everyone looked at her as she strolled her way over to me.
“Okay, y’all.” Nina got up off of her stool, watching the pissed off expression on Peanut’s face. “We have customers coming in less than an hour, and we’re not about to start the morning off with you two fighting over a nigga who evidentially doesn’t care too much for either one of you.” Nina rolled her eyes over from me to Peanut. “Peanut, boo, you’re sick.”
Peanut glared at Nina and then looked back at me. “I’m a fighter. Been fighting this long. I’m not going anywhere until God wants me to go. Friends or no friends but Brittanie, Niq or no Niq, I’ma be okay. I don’t need y’all feeling sorry for me. You haven’t been around in years, ain’t called no got-damn body, Kourtney. And why? Because you were fuckin’ around with my got-damn man. The only reason why we broke up in the first place and I kept my kids from him was because he was fuckin’ around on me!”
I sighed, feeling real shitty about the entire situation. “Peanut, I had no idea you were dating him back in junior high; you never told anybody about him! If you hadn’t brought him over for Christmas dinner, I wouldn’t have known that y’all were even dating!”
Peanut shook her head at me. “Why would I brag to everyone about someone who told the world that he was single but told me that I was everything to him? Yes, I used my kids as leverage because all he cared about was you, Kourtney! I loved him, and he loved you, regardless of the fact that we had kids together. He’s a wonderful father. It was my father who coached Niq’ when he was in high school. It was my father who talked to the scouts to get Niq’ picked to play for UCLA. And it was my father’s connections that got him a spot in the NBA!”
“So,” Pretty was confused. “You’re mad at Kourtney because Tyson was using you? I heard the only reason why y’all two married in the first place was because your father wouldn’t let you get your inheritance unless you were married. Tyson was just doing you a favor. So what, they slept together. Evidently you were fuckin’ around too if you caught HIV.”
Peanut shot Pretty a glare for putting in her two cents, which actually made a whole lot of sense. “I contracted HIV in college from another pro athlete, who will remain nameless. Whatever is going on in my life is none of any of you muthafucka’s business!”
“It is when you come up in Nina’s shop, talkin’ shit to Kourtney about a nigga who only married you as a favor to you for your father helping him make it into the industry. Kourtney isn’t the person you need to be mad at, honey.” Pretty tried defending me, but there was no need.
Peanut wasn’t trying to hear her anyway. “I’m mad at Kourtney for not leaving him the fuck alone when she found out about us! I’m mad at Kourtney because she let a muthafuckin’ nigga fuck up a lifelong friendship! I’m mad at Kourtney because she never told me that she was pregnant with my man’s baby!”
Everyone who wasn’t in our conversation after Nina’s wedding stared at me.
Brittanie looked at me. “What?”
I sighed. “I had an abortion when I found out that the two were dating. I thought Niq was mine, Peanut, and I wasn’t about to share him with anyone. It took almost two years to start seeing him again. He promised he was done with you, that all he wanted from you was to see his children.”
“Well, the entire time that he was ‘dating’
you, we were sleeping together. The whole time that he was ‘dating’ you, me and him were fuckin’, Kourtney. The nigga told me about you two, but he lied to you about me. How does that make you feel?” Peanut tried to get in my face, but Brittanie pulled her back.
“Like you need to get the fuck up outta here before we shorten up that death sentence of yours.” Keisha’s no-nonsense ass rose from the couch she was sitting on. She didn’t play games. She could give a fuck if Peanut was sick; she wasn’t about to let Peanut talk shit to me.
I deserved it though. I knew in my heart that he was still seeing Peanut. That she had to mean something to him. Whether he was using her to get ahead of not, I knew how she felt about him. And I already knew she ended up fucking around with as many people as she could in college, just because she knew Niq’ didn’t care about her the way that she needed him to.
Peanut had always been a dainty little thing, but don’t get it twisted. That girl would fuck you up before she let you lay a finger on her. She looked at Keisha and then at everyone who stood around the shop, staring at her. And then, she took what we all had no idea was a wig from her head. Blonde fade or not, that chick was hotter than Amber Rose. But still, the sight of her with less than half an inch of hair on her head made me cry out loud.
And Peanut cried, too. She tapped on her teeth, which made a nose something like tapping on a coffee mug. “These teeth are made of porcelain. I can’t tell you how painful it was to have all my teeth removed and then have these bad-boys drilled in my got-damn head! I had an allergic reaction to the treatment that they had me on. One doctor suggested radiation, which is why I had to get all of these teeth pulled out of my head. I have been through radiation treatment five times, Kourtney! And each time, Tyson was by my side. He sat out nearly half a season to take care of me. He took my girls with him when he was signed to the Knicks because I couldn’t let my girls see me suffer. I was too sick to take care of them, and Tyson didn’t mind letting his girls go stay with him. I’m divorcing Tyson because I can’t keep holding onto him. He doesn’t deserve this. Yes, he’s a playa. Yes, he’s a ladies’ man. But I knew those things back in junior high. But when I was sick, he was there for me. He never ever left my side. That boy was there to care for me. I would do anything for him except tie him down when he needs to be set free. I can’t be his burden anymore.”
“Boo, I’m so sorry.” My heart sunk deep down in my chest.
“Sorry about what, Kourtney?” Peanut sniffled, drying her face. “You’re not sorry because, if you were, you wouldn’t have been fuckin’ around with Tyson behind my back! You wouldn’t have had sex with him when you just saw him with me at your sister’s wedding! I don’t give a fuck if we are getting a divorce or not; you need to stay the fuck away from him until that shit is final! You got your friends over here, coming at me, talkin’ shit. Y’all can talk shit all you want to about me, but y’all don’t know shit about the relationship that I have with Tyson!” Peanut snapped at Keisha, who was seriously standing in her personal space. “So, it’s best you get outta my face, Felicia!”
Keisha scoffed, about to seriously confront an HIV patient. Keisha was always ready to fight someone. “My name ain’t no got-damn Felicia!”
“Well, whatever the fuck it is, you need to mind your own got-damn business. Y’all sittin’ here defending a girl who’d fuck her own best friend’s man. Who’s to say she hasn’t fucked any of y’alls men? Keisha, Felicia, whatever the fuck your name is, I saw the way your date was looking at Kourtney. I’m sure the nigga has been all up in her guts!” Peanut scoffed.
I had to pull Keisha away from Peanut. Peanut had me fucked up, but I was going to let it slide that time. Brittanie was right. I could have been her. I had no idea of the amount of men that I’d slept with. I couldn’t name all the muthafuckas if I tried. The only ones I really remembered were either the ones that I loved, who hurt me, or the ones who loved me that I hurt.
“Come on, Keisha, chill!” I yelled out.
Keisha looked at me and then back at Peanut. “Peanut, you need to leave. I’m not about to let you talk shit to my girl when everything you’re doing and everything you’ve done over the years has been to spite her. From marrying the nigga all the way to showing up at the wedding. You’re sick; you should be home in bed and not here showing out with a man who used you to get where he wanted. Don’t be mad at Kourtney. Be mad at yourself for trusting those niggas. Kourtney isn’t the reason why you can’t be with Tyson. You and your poor choices are the reason why you can’t be with Tyson. How the fuck could things possibly work out between the two of you when you have HIV? Are you serious right now?”
Peanut wasn’t trying to hear that shit. She lunged at Keisha, but Brittanie pulled her friend away. “Peanut, no!” Brittanie screamed. “Let’s just leave. They can judge you all they want, but every one of these bitches put themselves in a situation to be in your shoes. They were just lucky, that’s all. If Kourtney wants to fuck around with Tyson, let the bitch hurt herself. When that bitch shows up on her doorstep with that baby, she’ll learn.”
Brittanie basically had to push Peanut out the door. She had a lot more words for me and the rest of my crew who thought they knew her story and what was going on between her and Niq’. There was really no making up for what I had done. My girls tried to take up for me, telling me that I shouldn’t have felt stupid for messing around with Niq’, but I did. He begged me to move to New York with him. Begged me to do the reality show. Begged me to leave Nina behind and go back stateside to pursue my dreams with him. Niq’ was the first guy to treat me with respect. I thought this guy was different than the rest, but turned out he was the worst kind there was. The kind to make you fall for him when he knew he wasn’t trustworthy. I had to do better because I knew better. I had to change, and that had to include the ones I kept around me as well.
Chapter Five
Spread My Wings
“She’s what? How many centimeters is she?” I squealed through my cell phone the morning of July 4, 2016. I was helping Pretty and Lailah set up shop at Uncle Carlos’ hotel. We were planning on partying until we couldn’t feel our feet that night, but Nina put a damper in our plans.
“A’ight, Ricque, bruh, I’m on my way!” I squealed, jumping up and down like I was about to pee on myself. “Oh my goodness! I gotta get the fuck outta here!”
“Wait!” Pretty laughed, the sun beaming through the window and through her blonde, curly hair. “What’s going on?”
I grabbed my purse. “My boo is in labor!” I cried out loud.
Pretty and Lailah started squealing.
“Call us when you get there, Kourtney, a’ight? And tell my boo we’ll be there as soon as that load drops!”
I raced down the street on the way to my boo. She didn’t want to have that baby at a hospital. She wanted to have that baby in the privacy of her own home. She’d had three midwives, three nurses, and a doctor on stand-by. Aunt Rayna had been in town for a week, anxious for the arrival of baby Princessa. Nina told Ricque that she was pregnant when they went on their honeymoon. Nina caught his response on her iPhone camera. The look on his face though. That dude was too excited about her having his baby again.
I got to Nina’s house that morning to find Ricque carrying her out in his arms. Turned out Nina was bleeding profusely. Something wasn’t right. Princessa’s heart rate was low. Nina wanted to have her baby natural, no drugs, no C-section, no hospital, but there she was, being sat in the passenger seat of Ricque’s Ashton Martin. Aunt Rayna jumped in the back, and you already know I was right alongside her. Nina screamed out in agony as Ricque raced down the streets of Punta Cana.
It had been a long eight months. When Nina told me she was pregnant, she was about five weeks pregnant then. From the time Nina told me that she was pregnant, home girl was sick. Couldn’t keep anything down. Ricque stayed home for at least six months before getting back on the road again. His fans missed him while he was away and welcomed him back wit
h open arms when he came off hiatus. While he was home taking care of his boo, he’d been writing music. He’d write music and lay beside her in their bed singing to her, seeing how she liked the music. Damn near every song that he sang had to do with her or their little baby. I think Ricque loved her then more than he ever did.
I helped take care of Nina, too. I needed something, anything to keep my mind off of reaching out to Niq’. I didn’t even tell him that I knew anything about his baby with the chick in New York or that I knew Peanut had HIV. I didn’t even give dude my phone number, but apparently, he’d gotten my information from someone because he was blowing the fuck out of my phone. He even had that producer from Reelz TV, Trench Carter, reach out to me about the “opportunity of a lifetime” reality show. I threw the idea by my girls at the shop who were all, hell yeah, girl, do that shit. Nina, on the other hand, wasn’t ready to put her life on display, just like I’d suspected in the beginning.
As soon as we got to the hospital, Ricque pulled up to the curb. Paramedics and nurses were already waiting for Nina out front. Ricque jumped out of his ride, racing over to the passenger side to get his little Nina out of her seat and onto a stretcher. Aunt Rayna, Ricque, and I raced behind the paramedics, who were racing down the hallways of the hospital to get Nina into labor and delivery. Despite the fact that Ricque was her husband, the muthafuckas wouldn’t let him into the room with her until they had Nina stabilized. After checking the vitals of Nina and her baby, they discovered that Nina had full placenta-previa; the placenta was fully covering the cervix and that vaginal birth was impossible. The fuckin’ medical team that Ricque hired should have seen that. She’d had plenty of sonograms. There was really no excuse. She wasn’t supposed to be delivering the baby vaginally from the beginning. A C-section should have been scheduled way before her delivery date. Their negligence put both Nina and her baby’s lives at risk. You already know that when the doctors at the hospital told Ricque that shit, that nigga was on one hundred from the words ‘your doctors made a mistake’. Lucky Ricque’s crew had showed up just in time to calm that nigga.
I Gave Him My Heart Page 11
