When they could have been cherishing their child together. When he could have watched her grow round with his baby. When he could have helped her, coddled her… watched over her.
When he could have seen his son born.
Damon had thought he understood heartbreak when he’d sent Lily away, but he knew now he’d understood less than nothing. Grief crushed his heart as though a vise clasped it inside metallic claws.
He looked up. “I have to see him, Lily.” And she had every reason in the world not to let him. “Please.”
She shook her head.
The claws squeezed harder. “Why not?”
“Damon?” Callie again.
“Not now, Callie.” Turning back to Lily, he asked again. “Why not? I know you have every reason in the world to want revenge on me, but I’m—”
“Damon, I’m sorry, but it can’t wait. It’s Shirley. She’s very ill and I can’t reach Madame Xi.”
Cursing under his breath, Damon turned in her direction. “Can’t you—?” He blew out a breath. “All right, Callie. Just give me a minute.”
He spoke, before turning back. “Lily, can you come inside—”
Her slender figure had already faded into the darkness, headed for the gate.
“Lily!” he cried out. “Please—come back and talk to me.”
Picking up speed, Lily ran.
Damon started after her, just before he heard Callie again. “Damon! Come quickly, please!”
Halting in mid-stride, he dropped his head, chest heaving. Cursing darkly, he let Lily run.
Lily had run until she was breathless, trying to outrun the tumult of feelings Damon evoked.
Terrified, heartsick, despairing… confused. The tortured look on Damon’s face when he learned he had a son she’d hidden from him… the hard planes of his increased resolve to go after Kwan… the way she’d been lost in his kiss. And then, for a moment, outside the temple, Lily had felt an odd prickling, as though she were being watched. She’d turned around, but no one was there. She had come back into the city, seeking oblivion in the crowds on the Wharf, walking blindly for what seemed to be hours, trying to understand why Damon still had the power to rock her to her soul. And why she wanted so badly to ease his pain.
She walked slowly now, up the last flight before her apartment. Inside, a lamp glowed.
“Chang?”
“Hey, where have you b—” He strode quickly across the room. “What happened to you?”
Suddenly, it was too much. Lily slid down the wall, curling up at the floor, chest heaving with sobs.
Chang squatted before her, gripping her shoulders. “Lily, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
She could only shake her head, her whole body weighted with despair.
Chang lifted her chin. “No one bothered you? You’re not hurt, you’re sure?”
She nodded again, barely able to see him for the tears.
“You saw Damon.”
Her throat hurt; she curled up tighter, nodding slightly.
Her brother pulled her up and led her to the sofa, sitting down beside her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders and stroking her hair. “Go ahead, Lily. Cry it out. We can talk later. We’ll figure out what to do.”
If only she thought there could ever be a solution, she’d gladly take it. “Oh, God, Chang… I’ve made it worse.”
“You told him about Gregory.”
She nodded into his shoulder. “We—we didn’t get to finish. He had an emergency. I wouldn’t tell him where Gregory is or that he’s not with me.” Raising her face, she searched her brother’s dark eyes. “He doesn’t understand what I’ve done or what it’s been like. He just thinks I’m taking revenge on him.”
Her voice dropped to barely a whisper. “And worst of all, he wants Kwan more than ever.” Curling her knees up against her chest, she sighed, all tears drained. “I’ve just made his life more hellish. And I can’t go back anymore.” She looked away, toward the window. “I’m still not immune to him, Chang—after everything he did.”
“Lily—”
She clenched her jaw. “You can’t tell him anything. You have to promise that you won’t let him know anything about Gregory. If he finds out where his son is, he’ll leave for sure, just to see him.”
“You’re kidding yourself if you think he won’t scour the earth for that child. He may be bound to stay in sanctuary, but he’ll send everyone he knows looking for Gregory.”
Her heart drained of all hope. “And he’ll have me followed. Oh, God, Chang. What have I done? I won’t be able to see Gregory, either.”
“Damon won’t stay, not anymore.”
“But the curse—”
“Do you believe in the legend?”
She stared at her brother. “Fan Lee did.”
“Damon stays on sacred ground to honor his promise. I don’t think the curse will hold him.”
“What have I done?” She swallowed heavily. “If the curse doesn’t get him, Kwan surely will.” Rising to pace, Lily thought about Damon’s kiss… his haunted eyes… and knew she’d never truly stopped loving him.
And now she’d signed his death warrant.
The first faint stirrings of dawn didn’t awaken Damon. He hadn’t slept all night. They’d brought Shirley’s fever down with cooling baths and a strong willow bark tea, and she was now resting comfortably under Callie’s watchful eye.
But his sleeplessness was not Shirley’s fault. Haunted by images of a son he’d never seen, Damon had tried sleeping but gave up the fight, back now where Lily had found him, searching for peace beside Fan Lee’s pond.
Did he look like Lily, with her porcelain skin, her delicate arched brows and tilted dark eyes? Or had Damon imprinted anything of himself upon his child?
And where was he? Why wouldn’t Lily tell him? If she couldn’t bear to bring him, couldn’t she let Chang?
Chang. He’d be here soon. He’d have answers.
Was he safe? Remembering his own childhood, Damon breathed a sigh of thanks that his son had a mother like Lily and not like his own. Addicted to the poison that claimed her like a lover, she’d dragged her only child around the country with her, stopping wherever she could trade the secrets of her body for the white powder she craved to have rushing through her blood.
His son. A longing so strong he could barely breathe swept through him—to have a chance to be a father, to protect and care for his child. Once he would have said that he had no example to follow—his mother had no idea who had fathered Damon, and hadn’t cared. The only man he’d been around for any length of time had been Santangelo, the drug lord to whom Damon had indentured himself in a futile effort to save his mother.
She’d gotten in too deep, the monkey on her back had claws so firmly embedded that she could no longer render services in exchange for her precious powder. Santangelo said he’d kill her, so at fourteen, Damon had stepped forward to take her place, to try to repay what she owed. He’d been an errand boy when Santangelo wasn’t beating him.
And it had done no good, trying to placate his master and save his mother. Santangelo had killed her on the one occasion she roused herself enough to protest the way he beat Damon.
And Kwan—God help him, Kwan, indentured at a much earlier age than Damon, had resented the attention Santangelo granted Damon. Damon had tried to make friends, lonely almost beyond bearing, but Kwan saw him as competition and sought to undercut him at every turn.
No, Damon had known less than nothing of fathers.
Until he’d met Fan Lee, the only father he’d ever had.
Damon had run away after his mother’s death, nurturing in his heart a desire for vengeance. He’d planned to bide his time until he grew older and stronger, and then he’d go back after Santangelo. He was observant, a quick study, and he learned enough rudimentary skills on the street to defend himself. As time passed he added other deadly skills to his repertoire. He learned to suppress the once-innocent boy almost to extinction, telling h
imself that he was only doing what was necessary to position himself to wreak vengeance on his mother’s killer.
It was in deciding to learn kung fu, that Damon changed his life forever. It was then that he met Fan Lee who, with endless patience and great wisdom, nurtured within him a tender shoot of humanity not yet poisoned. He set out to redeem Damon from the hatred that had driven him for so long. He was the father Damon had never known, the spiritual guide, the friend always ready to listen. Though Damon drifted in and out of Fan Lee’s life over his seven years in covert operations, something in him changed from that day forward.
Damon had never known how to repay Fan Lee until the day his mentor lay dying and asked him to take his place as guardian of the Pearl of Paradise. But now, Damon knew something else he could do.
He could pass the legacy on to his child. Fan Lee would live again, through Damon’s child. Damon would do it right, this time. Despite all that he’d done wrong in his life, he’d have a chance to pass along the best to Gregory.
“Gregory.” The sound of it fell sweet upon his lips.
Where are you, Lily? Where is my son?
Like a tiger pacing his cage, Damon waited for Chang to arrive.
“Where is she, Chang?” Damon’s hand on the younger man’s shoulder turned him around from where he stood, talking to Callie.
Chang’s eyes, never easy to read, shuttered more.
Damon ran fingers through his hair, drawing a deep breath. “Please, Chang. Come to the library. Talk to me for a while.”
Clearly reluctant, Chang paused for a long moment, then nodded. Damon preceded him down the whitewashed hallway, pausing at the door to let Chang enter first. Damon closed the door softly, then leaned back against it.
“You know where she is, don’t you?”
The young man stared across the room, toward the window.
“Of course you do. It was the only way I could let her go, was knowing that I’d be seeing you and I could find out if something went wrong.” Then he looked to the side, laughing mirthlessly. “What am I saying? Everything went wrong. She was pregnant with my child, and I never knew a thing.”
Damon pushed away from the door. “Damn you! Why didn’t you tell me? Did you think I wouldn’t care?”
The young man turned, eyes snapping. “After what you did to her? Why would I let you have another shot at her?”
Damon halted, mid-stride, then looked away, shaking his head. “Why, indeed?”
“You hurt her so badly I was scared for her, Damon. If she hadn’t found out she was pregnant and had Gregory to live for—” He cleared his throat. “I wasn’t sure she was going to make it before then.” Glaring, he jutted his jaw. “You took her innocence, damn you—and then you took her hope.”
“So why did you keep coming around to help me?”
Chang shook his head. “I don’t—” He raised his eyes to meet Damon’s once more. “Fan Lee gave me a sister I never knew I had. He also gave me a brother in spirit. My brother Damon carries a heavy load for the father we both loved. I could do no less.”
Damon’s throat clogged. Almost whispering, he asked, “Where is he, Chang?”
Chang shook his head. “He’s safe. That’s all I can tell you.”
“I have to see him.”
“That’s Lily’s call.”
Damon looked away, jaw working, eyes burning. “I deserve it, I know that, but—” Suddenly, he slammed a fist into the wall, beyond caring about the pain. The pain within was far, far greater. “Damn it! Damn the Pearl of Paradise. Damn the legend and the goddamn curse!”
He turned to bore his gaze into Chang’s. “If Lily won’t let me see my son, I’ll find him myself.”
“And let Kwan know where he is?”
Damon turned to pace, then whirled suddenly, his mind racing. “That’s it! That’s what she meant, wasn’t it? She said, ‘I can’t, either.’ But I didn’t understand.”
He stood before Chang. “She’s hiding him from Kwan, isn’t she?”
Not from me. Oh, please, not from me. His head came up quickly. Chang still hadn’t answered. “Tell me, dammit. Tell me what I’m fighting here.”
“That’s exactly the point. You are not to fight. Lily wants you to live. She came here to keep you from leaving sanctuary to go after Kwan. She would never have risked telling you otherwise.”
“But don’t you see? I have to go after him now. It’s the only way Lily can come out of hiding… and bring our child.”
Chang’s eyes shifted, uncertain.
“That’s what I’ve done to her, isn’t it? Because she had my child, she’s in danger and so is our son.” Grasping the younger man’s shoulders, Damon shook them slightly. “This has been building for many years between Kwan and me. I have to remove the threat.”
“And bring down the curse on yourself?”
Damon swore.
“The legend says that the Dragon is forbidden to leave the Pearl unguarded. He will die if he does.”
“It’s just a legend.”
“How will you know this child you want so desperately, if you are dead? What if you are wrong?”
“There has to be a way! I can’t be entombed here forever! Fan Lee said—” Damon paused, remembering for the first time in years the fragment Fan Lee had whispered as the blood bubbled up in his throat.
“‘Until the Dragon and his Pearl are one again,’” Damon whispered.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head, wondering. It had never made any sense. “Just something Fan Lee said to me, at the last. I can’t figure it out… hadn’t thought about it in a long time.” He hadn’t wanted out of here before. This place had been as good as any to live out his half-life without Lily. But now—
He began to pace again. “There has to be a way. I can’t just sit here any longer, letting Kwan pick off Fan Lee’s loved ones indefinitely. And I want to see my son.”
“You can’t see him.”
The voice came from the door, now open. Lily stood there, pale as death, trembling violently. She held a piece of paper crushed in her fingers.
“You can’t see him, Damon. Kwan has Gregory.”
Chapter Five
Damon stared at her, hoping he hadn’t heard right. Then snapping out of his spell, he strode across the library to grab her before she collapsed. He’d never seen Lily so shaken. Her normally pale skin was almost gray, her dark eyes wide with terror.
“Kwan—found him?”
She nodded faintly, tears beginning to fall. Lifting her arms slightly, she dropped them again as if all hope had died. “I don’t—I can’t imagine—” She raised haunted eyes to his face. “I’ve ached to hold him… so many lost years… so many nights I needed to be with him… for what, Damon? How did Kwan find him?”
“You’re sure this is from Kwan?” He glanced at the crumpled page.
Lily held it out to him like a marionette, her eyes dulling with anguish.
Damon released her so he could read it, but when he saw her sway, he pulled her close, wrapping one arm around her. His eyes met Chang’s over Lily’s head; Chang’s reflected the same grim thoughts which made Damon’s stomach clench.
“We must wait two days, then he’ll contact us.” Damon closed his eyes, jaw working. He looked down at the woman suddenly so frail in his arms. “Lily, how could he know Gregory’s my son?”
A shudder ran through her, then she lifted her gaze to his, such agony within that he reached out to touch her cheek in comfort.
“No one could miss it, Damon. That’s why I had to let Joanna raise him. He looks exactly like you.”
Joy and fierce pride shot through Damon. My son. He looks like me. A deep resolution settling within him, he tilted Lily’s face up to his.
“I won’t let Kwan hurt him, Lily. I’ll die before I let them hurt him.”
Lily cried out, “But that’s just what he wants! You can’t go—you can’t leave here, anyway. We have to—”
“Hav
e to what? Sit here and wait, just like I’ve been waiting? Grit our teeth and trust that a twisted mind like Kwan’s will take pity on a child?”
Horror and abject fear swept across her face. Damon knew he was terrifying her. Hell, he was damn scared himself, a sick, twisting fear in his gut at the thought of how much Kwan hated him and how gleeful he must be to have Damon’s child in his possession.
He squeezed Lily’s shoulders, then turned away. “Chang, I need to send out feelers on where Kwan’s safe houses are. It’s time. I’m going after him.”
“No! You can’t!” Lily gasped.
Damon rounded on her. “I’m not sitting here one second longer. That’s our child out there.”
“And Kwan will kill him if you go after him.”
“He may kill him anyway.”
Lily paled even more. “Damon, even if you could find him, you can’t leave sacred ground.”
“Fan Lee wouldn’t—”
“Wouldn’t what? Damon, he entrusted the Pearl to you!”
“It’s just a legend, Lily. A story.”
“Are you so sure? You would risk your life, defying the curse? How will you save him if you’re dead? Besides, you promised—”
“Don’t you think I know I promised Fan Lee I’d protect it?” Damon roared. “Don’t you think I loved that man like a father? But would he have expected me to sit here and let a child die—any child, much less my own son?”
His voice lowered. “Lily, I cannot believe that Fan Lee would expect a child to pay the price of the Pearl’s survival.” Shrinking in upon himself, just a shade, he grated, “I have to find the key.”
Lily stirred. “What key?”
Damon began to pace. “There has to be a way out of the curse. Fan Lee said something—”
“When?”
He turned to look at her, but his mind was focused inward. “When he was dying, he said something to me I’ve never been able to figure out.”
The Pearl of Paradise Page 4
