I let go of his hand and sat on the bed, “Well you could move too.”
“I can’t move.”
“Why not?”
“Because we have a life here Jackie. I just started my career. My friends are here. My family is here.”
“I know, but it’s not that far. We can come back and visit and they have high schools in Texas I’m pretty sure.”
“I know that, but it’s not my school. I’m working with the people that mentored me and I love my job.”
“So it’s okay for me to give up my dream job?”
He dropped the towel and swiftly changed into gym shorts and a t-shirt. “I didn’t say that. I can’t leave my mom.”
I sighed, “I know. That’s the really hard part, but Andy she’s fine. She’s in remission and doing amazing.”
“You know how fast that can change. What if something happens to her and I’m in fucking Dallas.”
“Then we hop in the car and head here as fast as we can.”
“Yeah and eight hours later we will be here. You know what can happen in eight hours?”
He ran a brush furiously through his hair and headed out of our room and into the living room. He picked up his keys and headed for the door, “Where are you going?”
“Where I always go. I’m going for a run.”
“Can’t you skip it today?”
“I can’t be here right now Jackie.”
“Please don’t go.”
He stood there looking broken and I knew I should probably let him go and have some time to think, but I was terrified of him leaving at that moment. “When do you have to tell them an answer?”
“Thursday.”
“Three days. And you’ve know since Christmas.”
It wasn’t really a question, but I nodded my head. He looked angry, “And you didn’t tell me then? Did you tell anyone?”
“Um, well. Maddy and Michelle, but…”
He interrupted me, “You have one week to decide and instead of talking to me about it you talk to Maddy and Michelle and ignore me completely.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you. I’ve been agonizing over this for days. It’s killed me not talking to you about it.”
He opened the front door to our house, “You know what would have helped you with that? Talking to me!”
I felt the tears pool in my eyes, but they didn’t fall yet. “Andy, I’m sorry, but I’m ready to talk now.”
“Well I’m not.” With that he slammed the door and I watched out the window as he got into his car and drove away.
Andy
That evening I sat out on the porch of the lake house with a six pack, trying to drink away the pain. After I left the house this morning I went for run, went to the gym, and then went to school to get ready for the students to come back after New Years. After that I went for another run, went to the liquor store and drove out to the lake. I had been on auto pilot all day long and it had been a blur.
I was into my fourth beer when Jake and Maddy pulled up in his truck around six. They got out and walked up cautiously. Jake eyed the beer bottle in my hand, “Hey, buddy. What’s up?”
Maddy looked freaked out, “Oh God, she told you.”
I looked directly at Maddy, “Uh huh. And you knew.” I pointed the bottle at Jake, “And did you?”
He looked confused, “Know what? What’s going on?”
Maddy looked at me, “Let’s go inside. I’ll make you something to eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
Jake looked pissed, “Someone tell me what’s going on.”
Maddy walked past me on the porch. “I’ll let you guys talk.” She went inside and closed the door behind her. Jake didn’t move. “What happened?”
I put the bottle to my lips, “She’s leaving.” I took a big swig of beer.
He walked over and sat next to me, taking a beer out and opening it. “Fuck. Is there someone else?”
“What? No. She just got a job offer in Dallas.”
He took a drink of his beer, “Oh. Well that’s not so bad. I mean it’s not Alaska.”
“It might as well be. I wouldn’t even move out of this city, let alone the state.”
“You have to go with her.”
I took another sip and stretched my legs out in front of me, “No. I don’t.”
“Does she want you to?”
“Yes.”
“Then yes you do.”
“I can’t leave, man.”
He took a drink and looked out at the sunset. “Trust me, there aren’t a lot of things in this world more painful than not being with the person you love. Especially watching them with other people.”
I knew he was talking about when he wasn’t with Maddy and I was one of the other people she was with, “Sorry.”
He smirked, “You should be.”
My face turned serious again, “I know it’s going to hurt like hell, it already does, but I have to be here for my mom.”
He patted me on the back, “Let’s go inside. Soak up some of that beer.”
We both stood and went inside. Maddy put a plate of pork chops and mashed potatoes in front of, “Does she know where you are?”
Jackie had called a few times and sent me several text messages, but I hadn’t answered any of them. I shook my head and Maddy picked up her phone, “I’ll let her know you are safe.”
I didn’t argue. I didn’t want Jackie to be worried. We ate and then when we were finished, Jake stood up from the table. “Okay. I’ll take ya home.”
I stayed put, “No. I’m not going home tonight. I’ll sleep in my car.”
Maddy looked at me, “No, you can stay in the guest room.”
I knew they wouldn’t let me sleep in my car, but I didn’t want to be a bother, “Thanks. I’ll just crash on the couch.”
Maddy looked annoyed, “No. You can break in the guest room. We never have guests.”
I didn’t fight her, I knew how she was when she got something into her head so I gave in and slept in the guest room that night.
The next morning I could smell bacon from my room and I walked into the kitchen and saw Maddy cooking at the stove, “Morning.”
She smiled, “Good morning. Did you sleep okay?”
I didn’t sleep very much at all, but I was grateful for her letting me stay in her home, “Yeah. It was great. Thank you.”
She knew I was lying and put a plate in front of me. “Eat.”
I wasn’t hungry, but I wasn’t up to arguing so I took a couple bites, “Thank you. I have to get going.”
She nodded, “Please tell me you are going to talk to Jackie.”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
Chapter 21
Jackie
I was laying in bed when I heard the front door close and footsteps in the hallway. I had my back to the door, but I knew Andy was standing in the bedroom. Neither of us said a word. After what felt like an eternity, he climbed into bed with me, molding his body against mine. The front of him was pressed against my back.
He whispered, “I’m sorry” softly in my ear.
“Me too.”
I knew he stayed at Maddy and Jake’s last night, thanks to Maddy sending me a text. I also knew Andy didn’t have to go back into work until after New Year’s Day, so we had time to talk, but I just laid there letting him hold me.
I finally turned to face him, but didn’t know what to say. He looked exhausted and broken.
He broke the silence, “I can’t go.” He paused and I heard the pain in his voice as he said, “And you can’t stay.”
I squeaked out a soft, “I know.”
I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore and they started flowing down my cheeks. Andy held my face in his hands, one hand on each side, “Please don’t cry.”
He used his thumbs to wipe away the tears. He leaned in and softly kissed my lips. I kissed him back with intense need, pushing him onto his back I slowly moved so I was on top of him. I didn’t wa
nt to think about how this was the end of our relationship. I didn’t want to think about moving five hundred miles away. At that moment I just wanted to be connected to him.
I sat up and lifted my nightgown over my head leaving me in only panties. He sat up with me still on him and took his shirt off. We removed what was left of our clothes and I didn’t wait before moving in position to slide down onto his cock slowly. With him inside of me we moved together slower than we ever had, neither one of us wanted it to be over.
I knew in the back of my mind that it could be the last time we were ever together in this way and I made sure to take my time. I leaned down and kissed his soft lips and savored every second.
When we both finished I didn’t move. I just laid on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
His voice slightly cracked when I heard him ask, “When do you leave?”
I still didn’t move and answered into his hard chest, “New Years Day.”
“Wow. They didn’t give you very much time.”
“No. I think they were hoping I would jump at the chance the day they offered it to me.”
“I think I should stay at Jake and Maddy’s until you leave.”
I sat up and looked at him, “Why?”
He sat up too, with me still on his lap. “Because if we stay here together, this will probably keep happening.”
“And what’s wrong with that?”
“It will make it even more difficult.”
I wanted to spend the last few days I had here with him, in our house, but I knew he was right. “I can stay with Michelle. You shouldn’t have to leave. I’m the one that’s moving.”
He smiled, but it wasn’t his signature grin, it was forced and full of pain. “It’s up to you.”
“I’ll go. I’ll pack a quick bag and try to pack the rest of my stuff when you aren’t home so it won’t be awkward.”
I stood up, still completely naked and walked over to my dresser to find something to wear. Andy stayed on the bed. I pulled on a sweater and jeans and sat on the bed next to him, “What about long distance? We could make it work.”
He shook his head, “I love you, Jackie. More than I have ever loved anyone in my life, but we both know that rarely works. We would end up hating each other.”
“I could never hate you.”
He reached up and tucked a strand of my unruly hair behind my ear, “I never want to know what it would feel like if you did. We have to end things now, so you will be able to concentrate on making all of your dreams come true.”
“You’re part of my dreams.”
He sighed. “Our relationship has been amazing. We’ve both changed so much and if you would have told me five years ago that I would get to date you, live with you, love you and have you love me back I would have said you were fucking crazy. So who knows what the next five years will hold.”
“So we are leaving it up to fate?”
He smiled, “Yeah. If we are supposed to be together we will be. Just not now.”
I kissed him, packed a bag, and drove to Michelle’s apartment.
She answered the door, dressed for work, and looked at the bag in my hand. “Oh shit. He was dick about it wasn’t he?”
I shook my head, “No. He was really sweet actually. He just can’t go.”
She moved so I could walk into her apartment. “But you are going?”
I nodded. And then the tears that had threatened to fall all morning finally came pouring down. Michelle hugged me, “It’s going to be okay. You made the right call.”
We talked for a little bit before Michelle had to go to work and I spent the rest of the morning lying on the couch, crying and agonizing over my decision.
Andy
I hadn’t really seen any of my friends, since the day Jackie and I decided to end things. I was busy fluctuating between self pity and anger, but it was clear that Jake knew about it. He had tried to call several times and sent some texts. The last message was telling me I had better drag my ass out of bed and make it to the New Year’s Eve party at the lake house.
Jackie had packed all of her stuff when I was out on my run and the boxes were sitting in the living room waiting for the moving company to pick them up the day before her flight.
The evening of New Year’s Eve I was sitting on the couch when someone knocked on my door. I got up and walked over the door. I saw Jake through the glass and opened the door, “What?”
My tone had been gruff, but he shrugged it off and walked inside. “You look like a fucking homeless person. Go shower and let’s go.”
I hadn’t shaved for a few days and was wearing sweats, but I didn’t think I looked that bad. “Go where?”
“To the party.”
I saw back down on the couch, “I’m not going to that.”
“Yes you are. It’s not just a New Year’s Eve party, it’s also a farewell party for Jackie.”
“Like I said. I’m not going.”
He sat down in the recliner. “If you are going to be a pussy and not move with her, then you at least need to say goodbye.”
“We already said goodbye.”
“If you don’t get your ass up and come with me I swear I will throw the party here.”
I looked at him. He was serious. I stood up and went to shower and shave.
When we got to the lake house there were a lot of people already there. Mostly friends from high school, but some co workers of Maddy and Jake’s were sprinkled in along with Jackie’s supervisor at the station.
Jackie and Michelle were missing though. Jake looked at me, “You want a beer?”
“Yep.”
I drank the beer slowly and engaged in small talk that I couldn’t have cared less about. Jackie and Michelle finally arrived at the party an hour later. Jackie smiled over at me and I nodded, but we kept our distance from each other the entire night.
At midnight everyone was celebrating and screaming, “Happy New Year!” Everyone, but me. And Jackie. Shortly after that I saw her hug Maddy and Jake. She moved over to Shelley and Paul and then locked eyes with me. She gave me a quick wave and darted out of the house. Michelle said her goodbyes and then headed out after her.
I took a deep breath and followed. Michelle and Jackie were getting into Michelle’s car when I walked briskly to reach them, “Jackie. Wait.”
She turned to me, “Hi.”
“Hi.” I didn’t know exactly what to say so I said, “Happy New Year.”
Michelle looked at us, irritated, “Jackie, let’s go.”
Jackie shot her a look, “Just give us a minute. Please.”
Michelle stood there and then Jackie said, “I’ll be okay. Just a second.”
Michelle got into her car and shut the door. Jackie faced me, “I’m sorry I just waved bye. I just I don’t know how to say goodbye to you.”
I nodded, “Yeah I know. I never thought we would have to.”
A tear fell down her cheek and she wiped it away. I hated seeing her cry. “Please don’t cry. It’s going to be great. You deserve this job.”
“Thank you. Take care of everyone okay? And Charlie.”
“I will. I promise.”
“And don’t lose yourself. I want you to be happy.”
I didn’t see happiness in my near future, but I plastered a fake smile across my face. “I want you to happy too. I love you, Jackie.”
“I love you too, Andy.”
I gave her an awkward hug, told her to have a safe trip and watched as Michelle drove her away.
Chapter 22
Jackie
New Year’s Day, Michelle drove me the two hours to Wichita and I boarded the plane to Dallas. I hadn’t said goodbye to my mother before I left. I had sent her a text to let her know about my new job and did get a reply saying that was great. That was all though.
Five and a half hours after boarding my flight in Wichita I arrived in Dallas. Non-stop flights were really rare so I had a one stop flight.
The station I would be
working for had sent a car to pick me up and bring me to my new apartment. When I told them it would just be me moving to Dallas they had arranged for me to live with a girl that worked in the news room at the station. I didn’t know anything about her, but I looked at it like if I would have been assigned a roommate in college.
When I got to the apartment I knocked on the door and a petite, blond answered the door, happily, “Jackie?”
I nodded and held out my hand to shake hers, “Yes. Krista?”
She ignored my hand and pulled me in for a hug, “Yes! It’s so nice to meet ya!”
I smiled. She was very sweet and tiny and kind of reminded me of Maddy. She showed me around the large apartment and told me if I needed any help unpacking to let her know.
I smiled and sat down on the bed in my new room. I was grateful it was furnished, although it was very simple. There was a large dresser, a bed, and a bedside table. All of my boxes that I had packed were stacked neatly in the middle of the floor.
I stood up and started unpacking the boxes, placing things throughout my new room. When I got to a small box marked “Pictures” I hesitated. I put it under the bed and moved on to a much large box full of my clothes.
After a few hours of unpacking Krista knocked on my door and I opened it. She gave me a huge smile that I was pretty sure was her usual expression. “Hey. You hungry? I ordered Chinese.”
I nodded, “That sounds great. Thank you!”
I joined her in the dining room and we sat at the table. She started eating, “So, you are from Kansas?”
I nodded, “Yep.”
“That’s cool. I dated a guy from Kansas in college.”
“Oh yeah? Where in Kansas?”
“Topeka.”
“Cool.”
“We are glad that you could join the station. I’ve watched a couple of your tapes. You’re great on air.”
I smiled politely, “Thanks. So you work on the news team?”
“Yeah. I’m behind the scenes, researching stories. I could never be on camera.”
“No?”
“No way. I admire anyone that can do that. So many people watching and judging.”
“Well I’m not used to more than ten or twenty people watching so we’ll see if I can handle it.”
Evolve (Soulmates Book 4) Page 12
