by Zoey Oliver
Ouch. Low blow.
“Fair enough,” I sigh. “No, that’s all sensationalist reporting. And I’m not helping him with his sobriety, either. It’s the other way around.”
She smiles and gently pats the back of my hand. “Well, he sounds like a nice guy. I’m glad you’ve finally found someone.”
“It’s not like that—” Well, it kind of is. Or I think it is? I don’t really know. We definitely have a thing, I just don’t know if we are a thing. “I don’t know what it’s like. But he is really good for me. I just think I might be bad for him. Being in this place makes me realize how hard it must be for him to deal with me going through all of this.”
“Have you talked to him at all about that?”
“Not really,” I mutter under my breath.
“Well, it sounds like you know what you need to do. You need to make him know how much you care about him and how good he is for you. And hopefully he’ll think it’s mutual. I’ve got a sneaking suspicion it is.”
“You haven’t even met him,” I protest.
She shrugs. “I don’t need to. I can see what he’s done for you and that kind of thing doesn’t work one way, Tori.”
I chewed my lip, not sure if I should really get my hopes up or not. It’s true that Serge has kept his word and visited every chance he’s been allowed. And I’ve talked to him on the phone at least twice, though those conversations were a little awkward and short. I never have been very good at long talks on the phone. I prefer face to face.
“Maybe you’re right,” I finally say, not sure if I believe it or not. Could Serge be as crazy about me as I am about him?
I try to imagine doing everything he’s done for me for anyone else. There aren’t many people I would make the trip to visit. It’s pretty much him and Onyx. For him, it’s probably Ian and I guess me.
“I am,” she says warmly. “A mother knows.”
For the rest of visiting, we sit down at a table and dump out a puzzle, getting to work. Puzzles were a cheap form of entertainment in my childhood, but normally they were always missing a piece because they were from the library or Goodwill. I don’t know if this one is missing any pieces, but we’re probably not going to find out since there’s apparently a thousand of them.
But over the puzzle, we catch up and bond again. It’s been so long since I’ve seen my mom that it’s kind of like hanging out with an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. It’s awkward at first, but we quickly fall into our old patterns. Only this time I’m not a surly seventeen year-old determined to get emancipated and go to LA. This time, I’m feeling much more level-headed, way more grown up.
I’m not sure when that happened, but if I had to guess, I’d say it was in the last week or so. When I finally stopped blaming everyone else for everything that’s wrong with my life and finally accepted some damn responsibility. It was the most adult thing I’d ever done, and ever since then, I’ve felt like a bit of a different person. A more competent person. Someone I think I might one day be proud to be. And I think it has something to do with Serge, but also with this place, and maybe it really is just finally time for me to stop acting like I can do whatever I want whenever I want without any consequences. Took me long enough to realize it, but better late than never, right?
Chapter 15
Serge
It’s finally the day that Tori gets to leave the rehab center in Malibu, and I’m in the passenger seat of Onyx’s old beat-up van, my heart racing a million miles a minute. Because this is it. This is the make it or break it moment that can determine where Tori’s life goes from here. And mine, by extension. Because I don’t really want to have a life without her in it. I want Tori. I want her to find the peace and happiness in sobriety that I have. But I can’t make that decision for her. It’s all up to her.
The van chugs along and sputters, but when I look at Onyx, he seems unfazed.
“This van has got to be older than both of us,” I say, desperately searching for something else to focus on instead of all the ways Tori could fail. All the ways this could go wrong and fuck up my life all over again.
“Don’t hate on Ethel. She’s a good old gal, been with me a long time. When we started out, me, Rock, Tori, and Tad would all squeeze in the back to save on a hotel room. Sam got real good at sleeping in the passenger seat because he said Tori kicked him in the face while she was sleeping.”
“Guess I should be glad I haven’t encountered that problem,” I say. He gives me a look and I realize that I might have just confirmed to Onyx that Tori and I have been fucking. But it really shouldn’t be a surprise.
“She told me she’s going to stay with you?” he asks, and I’m not sure what he’s actually getting at, because that question doesn’t really need a response, but I nod anyway.
“Thought it might be helpful to stay out of trouble with someone else that’s keeping their nose clean.”
He nods, his jaw clenching. “Tori and I have been through a lot of shit. She’s my best friend—”
“Look, you don’t need to give me the lecture. I’m not planning on hurting her. I get it you want to look out for her, but Tori’s a big girl and can make that decision on her own.”
He gives me a sideways glance. “But you do know I’m not afraid to kick your ass if you do hurt her, right?”
I snort. “Duly noted.”
Onyx relaxes a bit after that, but I can tell he’s still nervous. He hasn’t been making the treks out to visit her, just talking on the phone sometimes.
“What’re you worried about?” I ask. It’s probably not my place, and it’s pretty likely that he’s going to say it’s nothing, that it’s none of my business or something else to that effect. Guys aren’t really big on talking about their emotions. Especially two guys like us, with one girl between us, even if our feelings for her are entirely different.
He doesn’t say anything, his hands gripping and twisting on the wheel.
“She’s still Tori, you know,” I say, taking a wild stab in the dark.
“Yeah?” he asks, not looking away from the road.
“Yeah.”
“I guess… I mean, I know she has a problem, I’ve watched it get worse and worse, but I can’t help but wonder who she’s going to be without it. It’s been there so long, I don’t know how much of my friend is still gonna be there when we pick her up.”
“You might be pleasantly surprised,” I say, the sparkling blue waters of Malibu coming into view. Won’t be long now.
“I hope you’re right,” he says, still tense.
I don’t offer any more reassurances. There’s no point in trying to convince him when Tori herself can do it in a few minutes. But I know what he means. I know those fears. Because I’ve felt them, too. But I refuse to let them take hold. This is what’s best for Tori, even if it means an end to our relationship in the future.
We get to the front of the center and the valet looks confused as Onyx hands him the keys to the decrepit van. Then he climbs in like he’s wishing he had a hazmat suit to deal with this petri dish, but he doesn’t complain.
“Ready?” I ask.
Onyx shrugs. “As I’ll ever be.”
“Good enough for me,” I say, walking straight up to the automatic doors in to the reception desk.
“Good afternoon,” the woman behind the desk says brightly.
“We’re here to pick up Tori Winters,” Onyx says, skipping all pleasantries.
“Oh! Great. She’s waiting just in there,” she says, pointing through a door behind her. We nod and walk through, finding Tori sitting on a couch, surrounded by her luggage, another woman sitting with her. Maybe a friend she’s made here?
“Rima,” Onyx says, sounding surprised. “I didn’t know you were here.”
Tori’s up and hugging me the moment I walk in, but then she pulls back and looks between the other woman and me.
“Serge, this is my mom, Rima. Mom, this is Serge.”
My heart leaps up into my t
hroat. I wasn’t planning on meeting her mother today. I would’ve done something… I don’t know what, but it I feel awkward about the ambush. And I know that’s what it is, because Rima’s looking at me with shrewd eyes, sizing me up.
“Nice to meet you, ma’am,” I say, holding out my hand.
“So you’re the one that convinced my daughter to come to this place?” she asks, not taking my hand. I look to Onyx and shrug.
“Not by myself.”
“And you’ve stayed here before?” she asks, tone still harsh. I swallow, looking around at the others, but no one’s jumping to my rescue.
“Yes, ma’am. A number of years ago.”
“And you’ve been clean since then?”
“I have. The program here is very effective.”
“Mom, can you not?” Tori whines, but Rima is unmoved.
“And you’re going to keep an eye on Victoria, make sure she doesn’t get herself into trouble?”
Tori’s eyes practically bulge out of her head, her face going red with barely-contained indignation.
“I’m going to support her and be there for her in every way I can,” I say. I know I can’t stop her. She’s an adult. But I can do what I can and nothing more.
That candor seems to win Rima over. My hand’s since dropped, but she pulls me into a quick hug.
“I hope you’re as good for my Tori as she says.”
I look to Tori with brows raised and she tries to shrug it off, trying to play it cool. But I know what that means. That means she’s told her mom about us, more than just the basics.
“You ready to go?” I ask her, slipping an arm around her waist. She leans into me.
“Yeah, I think I really am.” I know what she means. You’re always ready to leave rehab, but you’re not always ready to leave rehab. But she looks great. Refreshed and relaxed, happy and confident. I have faith in her. In the future.
“I was thinking we could grab lunch,” Onyx says. “Craving anything?”
Tori groans. “Something greasy, please. Every meal here is crafted by a nutritionist and I’m pretty sure my body is convinced its dying from all this healthy shit.”
“There’s a great diner about twenty minutes away,” I offer.
“Let’s do it,” Rima says brightly. We all three look at her, but no one says anything. Of course she’s invited.
I’m subtly grilled a couple more times through lunch by Tori’s mom, but I don’t mind. She clearly cares about her daughter and only wants what’s best for her. That makes two of us. No, three of us with Onyx. Seems like Tori’s got a pretty good support system around her, and that’s always important in post-rehab success.
We spend a couple hours just sitting in the diner, talking, getting to know each other, catching up, telling old stories. Finally, Tori stretches and yawns.
“I think I’m ready to relax without any scheduled activities for the rest of the day. If that’s okay with you guys?” she asks, looking at Onyx and Rima. Neither argues, but Onyx is our ride back to LA, so really, she’s just trying to get rid of her mom. As we’re leaving, Rima hugs all three of us, even me, and wishes us the best, promising to be back for more visits in the future.
The ride back to my place is mostly quiet, Tori with her head against the window, music cranked up on the radio. Onyx drops us off and starts to say something about seeing her at practice before he catches himself. Tori promises they’ll hang out, even offering a jam session as a carrot. By the time he leaves, I think Onyx is pretty convinced that the old Tori hasn’t gone anywhere, that she’s just new and improved.
“Finally,” she sighs once we’re in my apartment. I’m still holding her bags, but that doesn’t stop her from pushing me against the door and assaulting me with a kiss. “I thought I’d never get you alone,” she whispers, her fingers tiptoeing down my chest. I drop her bags.
“I thought you wanted to relax,” I growl, my hands going to her ass, pulling her tight against me so there’s no doubt in her mind how much I want her right now.
“Do you not find orgasms relaxing?” she says, a mischievous twinkle sparking in her eyes.
“I never said that.”
She rolls her hips against me and I suck in a breath, my fingers digging into her peach of an ass. “Tori,” I growl in a warning, her teasing already threatening to break my control. It’s been too long since I’ve had her. Too long since I’ve seen the look in her eyes when I fill her and stretch her. Too long since I’ve heard those gasps, the sharp halting breaths that mean I’ve found just the right spot.
“What’re you waiting for then?” she whispers, her voice low and husky as she kisses me again. There’s no stopping it at that point. I’m ripping my clothes off, ripping her clothes off, walking her back into my bedroom, hands all over her, lips glued together. Her hands are all over me too. We’re both just frantic, trying to get the other naked, trying to touch each other, trying to skip straight to the good parts because we’ve been waiting so long for this.
But then it’s Tori pushing me back on the bed, her eyes filled with bright lust, her delicious body completely bared to me, hair falling over her shoulders, dusky pink nipples begging for my mouth…
She climbs over me, straddling my hips, and strokes my cock against her clit, bucking, grinding against me as she pants and bites her lip.
“I’ve wanted this so much,” she groans, her splayed fingers moving up my body, over my abs to my chest until she’s nearly flattened against me. She kisses me, long and slow, and I grab her hips, fingers teasing under her ass to find her slick folds wet and waiting for me. She sucks in a breath as I tease her entrance with my finger, and bites my lip.
“Haven’t you teased me enough?”
“I don’t think I’m the one in charge here,” I say, my voice low and gravelly as I slip a finger into her and watch her eyes flutter closed on a sigh.
Tori lifts her hips a fraction and starts fucking my finger, her hand wrapped around my cock, stroking me against her clit, getting herself off using me like a sex toy. It’s the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen and I can’t get enough of it.
But then Tori stops, her face flushed, her eyes wild, and she shakes her head. “Not enough,” she grumbles, repositioning her hips.
And then in one swift movement, I’m buried all the way in her and we’re both shouting.
“Fuck,” I groan, holding her hips there, grinding myself up into her, getting as deep as I can and loving the way she clenches around me. It’s like coming home. It feels so right that I never want to leave.
But Tori’s in charge and she flattens her palms on my chest and rides me. There’s no room in my head for anything but absolute bliss, watching my cock disappear inside her over and over again, watching her find her pleasure with me.
“Pinch my nipples,” she pants, and I automatically slide my hands up from her hips to her breasts, rolling her nipples between my fingers, pinching them hard enough to make her gasp.
“You like riding my big hard cock, don’t you?” I say, pinching her nipples as I try to angle my cock deeper in her. She’s in charge here, and she clearly needs it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get some input.
“Fuck, yes,” she moans.
“You like feeling me stretching you, hitting those places so deep inside of you,” I say, thrusting upwards as I say it.
She screams and bucks. “God, Serge, yes!”
The woman’s wild and savage and I love it. Her nails are raking into me, our bodies moving together on pure instinct, and I feel the orgasm brewing in my balls, making them tighten, my blood boiling with the need for release.
“Fuck, Tori, you feel so fucking good. You’re so tight, so wet… All for me.” I slide a hand down and rub my thumb over her clit with every movement of her hips, finding the same rhythm, watching the muscles in her thighs and stomach ripple as her own orgasm crept closer and closer, her pussy squeezing me so damn tight I’m pretty sure I couldn’t pull out if I wanted to. But I don’
t. This is all I want. Forever.
“Oh fuck, Serge, I’m going to come,” she groans, her hips slowing as the pleasure takes over. I do the work from there, fucking her right through her orgasm, right through the trembling and shaking and the muttering. And then I flip her over, pulling her leg over my shoulder and driving in deep.
“Oh god!” she screams, the new angle sending her straight into another tumble.
“Fuck, Tori,” I roar, my dick swelling, unable to stop the runaway train barreling through me.
And then we both just lay there together for a long time, trying to catch our breath.
“Wow,” she says. I chuckle.
“Worth the wait?”
She giggles and it’s such a pure and happy sound from her that it fills my heart with warmth. She rolls over and drapes her arm over me, snuggling her face into my chest.
“Serge…”
“Yeah, Tor?”
She sighs, her arm around me tightening. “I think I’m falling for you.” I look over at her and she’s got her eyes squeezed tight like she just ripped off a band-aid.
From anyone else, a statement like that would have me running for the hills in a panic. But instead, I tighten my grip on her, too, stroking her back.
“The feeling’s mutual,” I say, and she looks up at me surprised, her mouth open.
“Oh, come on, it can’t be that much of a shock, can it?” I tease, brushing her hair behind her ear, kissing her forehead. She smiles.
“No, I guess not.”
That’s the last either of us really says on the topic, but conversation soon switches to my plans for the center, for the concerts and our act together. We spend the whole day in bed naked, brainstorming and daydreaming and it’s the most perfect day I’ve ever had.
Chapter 16
Tori
The next few weeks are pure bliss. Staying with Serge has been great, and spending more time at the center has been amazing for keeping me centered and focused. We’ve been hanging out with Ian and Chelsea a lot too, which is good for both of us, I think. Ian keeps Serge centered the same way Serge keeps me centered. He reminds him of what’s important in life, and Ian and Chelsea have given me serious relationship goals. They’re so good together, so in sync. Sometimes it’s like they share a brain or something.
