by Lilly Cain
Red haze drifted around their bodies as they stood entwined on the black sands of his home. Clear water lapped at their feet, but it was mostly obscured by the red morning fog.
She pulled away from him with a gasp, her eyes no longer angry, but open wide with shock. He held tightly to her arm to keep the contact open, smiling when delight filtered out the surprise.
“Where are we?” Her mental contact seemed as soft as a whisper to his senses.
“My home, or part of it.”
Her eyebrows rose to meet the short bangs of her hair. “An alien world. I’ve wanted to see one all my life.” Her eyes scanned the waters, the red fog and the black sand. “Is it always like this? What is this red stuff? And you have two moons…” Her voice trailed off, then her shoulders drooped. “I’ll never really see this. They’ll take away my space privileges, tie me to some land desk, even if I am found innocent.”
This fear he could not dismiss. He knew she believed it was true, and that perhaps her culture would require it. Unlike his people, they could never know what she truly believed had happened, only what they were told.
“That may be. But we have to reveal the truth, Susan, all of it.” He slipped into the use of her primary name; titles were meaningless mind to mind.
“I don’t know if I can—I don’t know if I can do it, see it all again.” She lowered her eyes. “I don’t want to. They hurt me in too many ways to talk about. They beat me badly, and—”
He stopped her. “Trust me. There will be no pain.” He raised her chin. “We cannot stand to see pain in others. Inarrii must protect, heal.” He stroked her cheek. Her emotions assured him that she spoke the truth, that she feared experiencing the pain again.
She shivered, and a slight hint of the woman trapped inside the victim peeked out of the solemn expression in her eyes.
“Walk with me.” He slid his hand down her arm to clasp her hand. “Let me show you part of my world. There is time.”
They stepped closer to the water until her feet touched the clear waves and fingers of reddish mist grazed the edge of her pettan. “It’s so warm,” she murmured.
“Most of my world is water, dotted with thousands of islands like this one. My home is only a few ridges away. I come here when I need peace.”
They walked for a moment; she studied the landscape, and he watched her.
“It is peaceful. The sand is so soft. I’ve never seen black sand, but I know there is some on Earth, near volcanoes.”
He pulled her to a stop and knelt, drawing her down to the sand. She hesitated slightly but then sat near him, following his lead as he grabbed a fistful of sand and let the particles trickle through his fingers.
“Inarrii are a sensual people. We prefer to touch, even embrace our surroundings. Everything on Inarr feels good.” He squeezed her hand with his, but wasn’t surprised when she quickly let go.
She looked up into the sky. “There are no birds?”
“No. Birds are something I believe are only on your world. I have never seen any. Would you show me one?” Casually he reached over to run his other hand along the skin of her arm. She started slightly but this time didn’t pull away. Something within him relaxed, the tightness uncoiling as he realized she was accepting him much quicker than he’d expected. The incredible gift of m’ittar had blessed them again. By bringing her to a place of his personal peace, he’d fulfilled her desire to see an alien world and had reached her in a way no other action could have. The gods blessed his mission.
He studied her as she scanned the horizon. Her smooth skin, naked of Inarrii L’inar, was intensely appealing. He swallowed as he realized that his need to comfort her was gone, satisfied as she relaxed and put aside her pain, but his desire for her was steadily increasing. The mission might be blessed, but that didn’t mean it would be easy. He must put aside his sensuality and concentrate on finding the truth.
It was clear that her vulnerability, so appealing to his protective nature, was caused by her recent captivity. He’d read Agent Alinna Gaerrii’s reports carefully as she’d met Captain Branscombe and they had indicated a strong, independent personality not given to hesitation or timid behavior. The change pointed to innocence, unless she had somehow fooled the Inarrii Agent. However unlikely that might seem, it was still something to watch for, especially considering how easily she was adapting to m’ittar. Her mind was very strong, and she was learning fast. Intelligence, beauty, vulnerability—no, the mission wouldn’t be easy.
“How can I show you?”
He shook his head, her words confused for a moment with his more immediate desire. Clamping down on his response, he thanks the gods he’d left his chammiss robes on or she might have noticed the slight thickening of his L’inar as he responded to her in a way she would surely feel inappropriate. He must retain control over his attraction. He had a duty to perform and even if his initial assessment told him she was innocent, he must find the proof and be absolutely certain. Everything hinged upon that.
“Remember a bird, one you observed on your home world. That’s what this is, a memory. I am not imagining this place, I am remembering it and sharing that memory with you. Just remember a time when you saw a bird in flight, and I will guide you in sharing that moment.”
She hesitated, then closed her eyes. It wasn’t necessary for her to close them, but he wasn’t about to interrupt her when she was trusting him, trying something new. A bird would surely have innocent associations for her and relax her further.
“When I was young I would hike with a friend out of the city. We would stay out, sometimes overnight. When you get far enough away from the buildings there are more animals than just the usual city pests. There are seagulls.”
Asler sucked in a breath as the terrain changed around them. He didn’t have to help her. As Agent Gaerrii had reported, human m’ittar was stronger than anyone might have anticipated. From the beautiful coastal shoreline of his home, their surroundings morphed into a scrubby wasteland, tainted with the hint of city pollution. There were patches of green—long grass and thorny bushes. It wasn’t what he had expected. Susan must have grown up in one of the heavily overpopulated inner-continent cities. This patch of empty land would be all there was before another city began.
“You call them seagulls, but you are far from the sea?”
“They used to live mostly near the sea. Now they’re everywhere and can survive by feeding on almost anything. They survived when even the vultures died. They’re scavengers, but still beautiful, in their way.”
A slight breeze brushed Asler’s face, and he looked up to see a large bird, white and gray with yellow feet and a strong beak; its wings pumped the air as it maneuvered to land not far from him. He found himself shifting uncomfortably under the creature’s beady gaze. Perhaps it would eat him if the chance arose.
“There were bluejays too.” Her mental voice reflected a hidden amusement at his reaction. The seagull faded away, replaced by a smaller bright blue bird with feathers tipped in white and black. It let out a little shriek and flitted away, leaving behind a light blue feather which drifted softly to the ground.
Asler reached down and picked it up.
“I’d forgotten about the feather. I kept it for a long time.” She looked at it and then at their clasped hands. “Is all of this really happening?”
“The birds, this place—they are memories. What happens between us when we talk, that is really happening right now.”
“It’s like a dream. Or like the last two months were a dream.” Despair laced her mental voice. “A nightmare.”
Asler pulled her close. The embrace, intended only for a moment’s comfort, seemed to be what she had been waiting for. Tears pooled in her eyes and spilled over her cheeks in fat droplets. The urge to comfort was overwhelming, enough that he could not stop the way his hand began to stroke her back, caressing L’inar she didn’t have, or halt the kiss that moved his lips over hers in a gentle possession.
“Wait…” H
er despair scattered by the surprise of his actions, Susan began to pull away. The beautiful flush of her skin reminded him that humans didn’t expect these actions from a superior, or require them for comfort.
“I apologize. Inarrii comfort each other this way. I forgot for a moment you were not…”
“Not Inarrii.” Her body did not stiffen with alarm as Asler expected. She actually relaxed, responding to either his kiss or his words just as a troubled Inarrii would. Now he was the one confused, but also relieved as he acknowledged to himself that he might have made a serious blunder with her case if that had not been her reaction.
Perhaps, for her, sensuality could be a key to trust and a deeper contact, just as it would with an Inarrii. With that thought he brought them back to the black sands of his home world.
“You are very tense. I would ask you to relax, but I know that words are never enough. Allow me to deepen our m’ittar. I can only do this through contact.”
She looked him in the eyes, her glance seeming to measure him. Her gaze seemed to catch on the feather he’d pulled from her memory and brought along with them to his home world, its edge flaring out from the narrow pocket of his robe. Finally she nodded.
“Roll on to your back.”
She lay back in the sand, stretching out her lanky body with a grace any warrior would be proud of. She rolled over, giving him her back and her trust. He lowered himself to the sand beside her and pictured the vial of oils he’d left at home, bringing one memory into the other and blending them as only a master Examiner had the ability to do. Unstopping the bottle, he breathed the scent in, a blend of herbs infused in siland oils that brought peace to a restless mind. A few drops on his hands and he began, slowly stroking her unmarked skin. He kneaded her muscles, applying pressure as he’d been taught by his first lover.
He ran his palms over the lean length of her back. The edge of her pettan had slipped, and he could see the dimples at the top of her tailbone. He swallowed hard. This contact, pushing the limits of her trust to deepen the strength of their m’ittar, also pushed the limits of his desire. He shouldn’t have put off engaging in sex with the eager young officers on the ship. The urge to run his fingertips under the soft material of her pettan and pull it down to expose the rounded cheeks of her ass tightened his groin. When he realized that she was moving under his hands, leaning into the pressure of his palms, he nearly groaned aloud.
After a few moments she glanced back at him. Her eyes were solemn, and his heart stirred as he realized that despite his efforts, she could not imagine herself as anywhere other than still deep in trouble—her future, perhaps even her life in jeopardy. Sensual she might be, but her mind moved in complex patterns.
He took a chance, lowered his mouth again to hers. In the contact of m’ittar, desire became reality. Their lips touched, his questioning, hers answering. He parted her mouth with his tongue, tasted her as he’d wanted to since she’d been healed.
She rolled to one side. Her arms returned his embrace, stroked his back. The soft lines of his L’inar markings across his torso stiffened into ridges as she stroked him, unknowing what her actions were suggesting to him. He groaned with desire as her hands explored, but released her when she broke the embrace.
His kiss, so gentle, and so sensual was a marvelous distraction. He didn’t pressure her. For a few minutes she forgot where she was, and why she was there. More importantly she forgot what had happened before, or at least she could pretend to forget. There was something in his intense green eyes, something…honest. He’s delicious. Admitting to herself that she wanted him was easy enough in this unreal alien place. He’s…beautiful.
Sue stood and faced the lapping waves of an alien ocean. She heard the soft rustle of sand as he stood as well and imagined the way his eyes would be watching her. Would they be filled with pity?
All her adult life had been spent in the military. She’d fought for every advancement and never shown a moment’s hesitation to stand up for herself or her brothers-in-arms. She was tough, never needing all the mushy emotional crap she saw in the vids. It wasn’t for her. If she wanted a man, she took him or let him take her, but never worried about intimacy. And if that was sometimes a lonely existence, well, that was what life had in store for her. Sex was sex.
But sex with this man, this alien, wasn’t going to be that easy. She could feel it. He was nearly the opposite of every man she’d ever been with, the way he seemed to consider every action, never jumping right in like she would have. If she followed her hormones this time, it would be complicated.
“Between Inarrii, sensuality is an experience that offers comfort. Forgive me if I have taken this too far.” His mental voice rumbled with what she thought might be restrained passion but also carried the weight of complete sincerity.
She turned back to him. There was no pity in his expression. He honestly wanted to soothe her, make her relax enough to find the strength to face the past.
She made a choice, and stepped in to kiss him again. She’d never shared more than the hot sweaty motions of sex, but this time she wanted more. He was offering her a tenderness that seemed to chase away the dark, that made her remember herself as her body pushed for more. The more she desired him, the more she felt like herself.
He hesitated. Was her kiss tainted with her desperation to forget? Or perhaps he sensed the culmination of a lifetime of loneliness. But as she ran her hands over his forearms, he shuddered and met her lips again.
The preliminary reports on the Inarrii, and her former superior’s comments were correct. The markings over most of Kiis’s body were not tattoos, they were something else. The more she touched them, the firmer they got, forming ridges that rose above his skin. In some places only a few millimeters, and in others nearly an inch.
She ran her fingers over the ridges and looked up in time to see his eyes dilate. He liked it—no, she was pretty sure he loved it. She stepped deeper into the embrace, reached around him to stroke the ridges on his neck. She slid her hands under the edge of his robes, traced the lines as they curved down his back. They seemed to cover him, and she grinned as she wondered just how far they went. Hell. If I wanted someone before, I just took them, right? She pushed herself further. I’ll find out just how far they go, have a little fun, and all this shit will be over before I know it. She liked sex, enjoyed it as often as she could. So why stop now? My career is likely over anyway, and this isn’t even my real body, for fuck’s sake. I want him, want to imagine something more than a quick lay.
I want more.
Groaning, he pulled her down with him onto the fine black sand. For an instant she wondered if he had read her mind, knew her intention to take whatever pleasure she could and to hell with the consequences. Or worse, did he realize she wished for something she couldn’t hope for—emotional attachment? The red fog had nearly dissolved, and a yellow sun, so like her own, now bathed them in mild warmth. He laid her back, covering her with his hot skin. His lips raced across her earlobe, cheek and mouth to devour her. Her questions evaporated with the intensity of his touch.
Hunger. That’s what she sensed from him, but not anger. She remembered that feeling all too well. Suddenly his weight seemed crushing, and she fought to breathe.
It flashed back to her. The pain she’d endured in captivity. Her mind bucked.
“No!” She gasped and pushed at the man covering her. Blackness crouched on the edges of her vision. She would not be sucked back into that memory, not now.
“Susan, look at me. That is the past. I am here now. You are safe.” Kiis held her, soothed her.
“He…hurt me.”
“I know, but that is not now. That is the past. It’s gone, Susan. Trust me.”
“I…I don’t even know your first name,” she stuttered. Somehow, the waves of panic the flashback had caused were fading. The weight of Kiis’s body no longer seemed constricting. Heat radiated from him. Even though she was desperate for his touch, to feel connected in a way only he could
make her experience, maybe rushing into sex and intimacy wasn’t such a great idea. She looked into his eyes. “Don’t look at it. Don’t look at that memory.”
“Shhh.” He touched her short cropped hair. The warmth in his eyes, the caring, nearly eclipsed the desire she saw in their depths. The combination shook her, made her swallow as she realized how intensely he was focused on her. “I am called Asler. Be here with me now, in the present. Just be with me.”
Chapter Four
Asler slipped from her mind, pulled the two of them back to the reality of the ship. He led her psyche into a deep sleep before releasing her entirely. His senses still reeled drunkenly as he lay with her on the bench in his office. Who could have imagined that the cool-skinned humans held so much passion and heat? He’d nearly given in to his desires and taken her as he would have any Inarrii woman, case be damned.
He drew a shaky breath and thanked the gods things hadn’t progressed further. Where was his Examiner control? What he needed to do with this woman was find the truth. To do that, he couldn’t treat her as he would an Inarrii, no matter what his instincts were telling him she needed—or even openly asked for.
The contact between them, the m’ittar, had been inexorably strengthened. He would be able to take her through her past without her rejecting him, without her being able to stop the flow of images. He shut his eyes against the innocence on her face as she lay beneath him. She had shied violently away from the thought of her torture. She would feel betrayed if he forced her through it, forced her to remember it all only so he could decide if she had been party to the terrorist attack in any way, or if she were as guiltless as her sleeping face appeared. The urge to protect her from this pain pulsed within him. She was so different from other women and the way they made him feel.
