by Lilly Cain
The two men stared grimly at each other. “Right. Tel sahiir denay.” The captain signed off, wishing him good hunting.
Now both his commander and his captain were personally relying on him to find some sort of answer through Susan’s memories. The Treaty would depend on it. Asler glanced over at Susan again, only to find her dark blue eyes avoiding his gaze. Her meal sat unfinished in her lap, a bite balanced on her utensil. She needed to be ready for this, but he couldn’t put it off much longer.
Sue slowly took one last bite of the noodles, delaying the time when she would have to look up at Asler and tell him she was ready to explore her memories. She could feel his eyes upon her after he’d said his goodbyes to the captain of the ship. It had to be done, but fear took away even the spicy taste of the foreign dish. She didn’t want to remember. As it was, she’d almost run when the smell of smoke had hit her in the dining room. The burning scent was too close to the way her flesh had reeked as it burned under her torturer’s hand.
Had it only been a week ago that she’d experienced that indescribable pain? And now, if she understood what Asler wanted from her, she would feel it again.
In the face of danger, she’d kept her calm, helped put out the flames in the dining room, despite the wave of fear-drenched memory. But could she do this? Re-experience every moment of torture, so that they might find some questionable piece of evidence she didn’t even know she possessed? She was innocent of collaboration; that was easy to prove. But he wanted to search every memory for something that might be there. Or might not.
“Susan…” His voice caught at her. She knew it was time, knew he wanted her to work with him now, to move through the past. She didn’t want to disappoint him, she realized. She didn’t want him to know she was a coward, that the thought of doing this terrified her. When had she come to care what this man thought?
“Susan, I know you are afraid.” Asler stepped closer to her, lifted her chin to look into her eyes. “I’ll tell you again—there will be no pain.”
“No pain, but the memory of it.”
“I’ll be with you.”
She pulled away from him. “I can’t do it!”
He took a seat near her, careful not to touch her. “Your people don’t know everything. Your race is innocent of the danger that is out there. That is coming for you.”
He had her attention now. She stared into his bright green eyes, a new fear gnawing at the edge of her consciousness.
“What danger?” Her voice rang sharply in the stillness of his rooms.
“I am not supposed to release this information, but I feel you should understand the real risks here. If we cannot resolve these attacks, determine their source, the Treaty is in danger. And if there is no Treaty, your planet and your people are in grave danger.”
She sucked in a breath, clenched her fists as she stared at him. “What exactly do you mean?”
“There are forces outside the Confederacy that are waiting on an opportunity to step in and drain your planet of its resources. The Confederacy calls them the Ravagers. You might call them pirates. There is some evidence that points to the involvement of non-humans in at least two of the recent attacks. The Ravagers may already be in the area. They approach an unprotected planet—”
“We aren’t unprotected,” she interjected, Starforce pride stiffening her spine.
“Susan. These people are killers like you have never seen. They will destroy entire cities as examples, after forcing your people to surrender everything. And then they will kill or enslave everyone who is left. They will strip your metals and your water and leave what is left to slowly die. Earth will be a dry, lifeless husk. The Starforce is too new, too underpowered to form any kind of effective defense. Your fighters will die in space before they are aware they are under attack.” He paused. “Unless the Confederacy is here to make a stand and protect your Earth, your people are lost.”
The blood drained from her face as she listened to Asler’s strained voice describing the death of all she knew and cared about.
“I…I need a minute,” she stammered.
“Susan…” He reached for her but she evaded his touch and stepped away from the low couch.
“Let me get cleaned up, please. And then we will do this. We’ll go through it all.” She smiled grimly, feeling numb, as though all humor had leached from her soul. “I want to help. I have to.”
Pride, compassion and more than a little lust for the human woman before him warred within Asler, creating an emotion he had no name for and no control over. He took Susan’s hand and led her to his private lavatory. It was a luxury onboard that his rank called for, even if he rarely made use of it. This was the first time he had ever shared it with anyone, and he was secretly glad that he had the ability to offer Susan a touch of comfort and solace before she endured what she feared most.
Once again she exhibited a level of bravery that reminded Asler why he had chosen to stand for the human side of the Treaty as an Examiner Advocate. These people could only add to the Confederacy.
“There are extra robes in the closet here.” He pointed out the narrow enclosure, then gestured to the transparent cleansing unit. “We use ultrasonic wave purifiers. I think you will find the added massage frequencies relaxing. I’ve set the timer—all you need to do is step inside the stall.” Asler explained the other features of the cleanser to Susan.
Then, because he wanted to, and perhaps because she looked so small and lost, he wrapped her in his arms. He rocked her for a moment; her small frame clutched him in return. “We can do it, Susan.”
“I know.” She sighed and pulled away from him. She shed her dirty pettan, its light color smudged from her battle with the fire.
Asler swallowed hard when she bent to drop it on the floor, the ripe curves of her buttocks causing his mouth to suddenly water. He stepped hastily back, giving her privacy and time to collect her thoughts. He must accomplish his mission. What feelings he had on a personal level must come second, if that, to protecting the Treaty.
He stepped into the main room and stared at the blank outer wall. His room was near the inner bulwark of the ship, giving the wall a slight curve. If he planned to live here for any amount of time, he would coat the surface with a scene from home. Perhaps the very beach he had taken Susan to in his mind. I must take her to the real place.
Asler shook his head. His mind had wandered again into an area it should not go. The future would not likely hold much opportunity for Susan and himself to remain together. Instead, they would determine the cause of the attacks, and then each would return to their regular courses of duty. She to her Starforce Marines, and he to his role of Examiner, but for much more standard inquiries.
As Examiner he had to face the harsh realities, bring forward facts in situations where people might rather not face the truth. Now he knew he must also face the fact that he had begun to care for Susan…perhaps it had begun even before he set eyes upon her. Now his feelings had grown into more than care. It was more than her ability to handle the difficult situation or his need to protect, more than her physical beauty, her obvious strength. It was also her courage, and her passion. All these qualities made her important to him.
Now he understood that he didn’t want to lose her, either to the truth if she had disclosed too much, or to her duty if she were found innocent and was required to return to service. He wanted more.
“I’m ready.” Sue touched Asler’s shoulder. The man seemed preoccupied with something, sitting staring at the blank wall as she slipped into the room.
She did feel ready. The ultrasonic cleanser had been more refreshing than an old-fashioned water shower or the ionic air blowers onboard her ship. She’d relaxed under the waves of the massage and felt more ready than she had since she’d awoken from her healing. That and a more concealing robe she’d found in the closet gave her a mild confidence boost. It was as soft as silk, but thick like wool. Though the fabric was short on her, at least it covered everything.
It was hard to believe that she’d been healed so completely or that she’d been onboard the alien ship for only a few days. So much had happened so quickly, especially her rapid bonding with Asler Kiis. He was an alien, for God’s sake. Yet she found she had no doubt that Asler would help her through the memories, that he would make it bearable.
As he turned to face her she was struck yet again by the immediate attraction she felt for him. His L’inar lines stood out—literally—in the most satisfying way. It was good to be able to see just how he reacted to her with as much attraction as she felt for him.
“Susan.” He hesitated, his face serious despite the height of his ridges. “I’ve been thinking about the m’ittar. I would like to offer you an option. There is a way to take you out of the memory, for us to be able to examine what is happening without you experiencing the actual pain or sensations of remembering.”
Sue’s heart beat faster. Thank God. “That sounds pretty good to me. But would we lose any details? That is what you are looking for, right? Details I can’t remember but that might be there?”
“Yes, you and I would see everything held in your memory as though we were watching a show. We might, depending on the level of contact we can achieve, be able to discuss what we see as we are observing it happen.”
“Let’s do it.”
“Wait.” He reached out and stroked the edge of her robe along one sleeve. One corner of his mouth twitched up in a small smile. “This is the top half of my pet-horin for sleeping in the cold. It looks much better on you.” He shook his head and continued before she could speak. “There are risks to reviewing the memories this way.”
“Pajamas,” she murmured, watching the soft rounding of his lips. “What kind of risks do you mean?”
“By taking you from the memory you may not be able to experience it again.”
She turned from him as a shudder rippled down her back. “That sounds pretty good to me. I don’t want those memories ever again. They’re like a nightmare you know will haunt you forever. Frankly, if I could lose them I would be glad.”
“Look at me, Susan.”
She turned back to him. His green eyes nearly glowed. Her mouth watered. His lips pursed as he prepared to tell her something important, but all she could think of was how she would like to kiss them, kiss him.
“By altering your memories and, in effect, removing them, we might get more detail as they will be unclouded by your pain, and we can discuss what we see. But this will mean that these memories will be unavailable as proof in your investigation and possible trial. It could hurt your chances of being found innocent of treason.”
“Can’t you testify on my behalf?”
“I am an Examiner, and Advocate for your people, and I have been one for my own as well. If I open my memories for review, those I have of previous cases might also be revealed, risking other people’s careers and lives. Anyone examining my memories would be able to review them unchecked. I would have to resign my position. I can give my word about what I have reviewed within your mind, but not present the actual memory.”
Sue thought it through, biting on her lip in anxiety. “We need the truth to try and stop the attacks, or at least to keep the Treaty progressing. If we can’t use the memories as testimony and I am found guilty, I’ll be locked up, but at least I would know I had saved my world from being sucked dry.”
“You’re very brave, Susan.” Asler’s warm hands encompassed her own, chasing the chill creeping across her away. “Come with me. We’ll relax and initiate m’ittar at a different level.” Sue hesitated, so he continued. “It won’t hurt. I will never hurt you.”
Her heart kicked. She believed him. Together they would discover any evidence her memories held. But first, for a little while, she would allow her desire to lead the way, allow herself to believe it was only the two of them, that their combined worlds were not waiting on their discoveries.
He led her to the second door off his sitting room. As she had suspected, it led to his sleeping quarters, although they weren’t quite what she expected. After the spartan design of the sitting room and bath, she expected the same here. Instead she was greeted with lush red color on nearly every surface, from the dark red walls to the thick rug underneath her feet. The bed encompassed nearly half the room, its covers strangely shiny in their speckled red-and-black tones.
She took a step forward, but Asler held her arm and bent to speak softly into her ear.
“Inar tel sahan yowlenaii.”
She looked up at him. “What does that mean?”
“It means…welcome, and also that I hope you will stay a very long time.”
Chapter Seven
Asler’s L’inar crested down the length of his back, the sensation honing his anticipation. Susan’s beauty paled beside her bravery, her pureness of character. There was no way he could believe she would do anything to jeopardize the safety of her world. What they found now would be hard for her to bear—watching herself crumble under torture—but would surely validate her innocence. The trick would be in proving that to Starforce and the Confederacy.
His initial thought to gain Susan’s confidence, possibly through sex, for the purpose of revealing the truth wasn’t necessary. She had the courage to face what had happened without him, now that she knew the situation. But now he found that he wanted to earn her trust, wanted to support her through the difficult times ahead, and not just while they were in m’ittar. He would be there for her while she battled through the trial for her career, whatever the outcome.
Susan stared up at him, a look of wonder on her delicate face. His L’inar stiffened around his scalp and neck. Was she beginning to recognize what they might come to mean to each other? At this moment he could admit he didn’t want their time together, no matter how difficult, to end.
For the first time, he speculated about the commitment between Inarrii Agent Alinna Gaerrii and human Major David Brown. He’d been the one to explain to Brown about what it meant for an Inarrii to mate.
He stroked Susan’s cheek, then lifted his hand to run his fingers through her short hair. It reminded him of the early sunlight on his home world. So bright, so beautiful. He pulled her to him, circling her with his other arm, running his hand down her back. She sighed, relaxing into him as his fingers searched her skin for the L’inar lines he knew weren’t there. So soft and smooth, her skin felt erotically naked without the ridges of his kind. In Inarrii, females’ L’inar would rise like a man’s, although not as noticeably and their patterns were different. Some females’ L’inar were tightly woven around the sensual areas of their body and nearly invisible until they began to mate or reacted in fear of some sort.
Susan shuddered under his exploring touch, her nipples hardening against his skin, a reaction to pleasure that both races shared. Asler moved to celebrate the similarities just as he enjoyed the differences. Palming a breast, he brought his lips to hers and kissed her deeply. Gently, tangled in their embrace, he led her to the edge of the great bed.
“Make love to me, before we go back into the memory,” she whispered against his lips. She gripped his forearms. “In person, Asler, not in our minds.”
Internally he rejoiced. She feels it—feels the possibility of so much between us. There is time for this. I will make the time.
He levered her back onto the bed. Its sensors reacted to their combined weight, spreading the pressure across its surface, holding them gently as it warmed and began to vibrate gently beneath them.
“Whoa!” Susan laughed in his arms. “A vibrating bed. Why am I not surprised?”
Asler’s heart warmed to her laughter. She’d been through so much, and had so much yet to come, and still she could find an honest sense of joy. Along with courage, this was what the humans would bring to the Confederacy. Their Earth held many resources, but perhaps the people would be their most important asset.
“You are a joy, Ya’lenali.” He thought the words he wouldn’t say aloud: she was a
joy; she was in his heart. He could feel it, but he must not say it. There was a tone to her emotion that tasted of desperation. Perhaps it was residual fear, but he could not add to the pressure she must already be experiencing by thrusting feelings upon her that she might not return.
“What?” Susan raised her eyebrows at him. “What did you say?”
Asler froze for a moment. Had he vocalized the thought? No. But she had heard him. He swallowed hard. Their m’ittar contact had been progressing very quickly. He hadn’t actually initiated it, or even been physically touching her in the instant he’d thought the words. True, they’d had an immediate physical attraction and intense contact since he had met her. Was it only four days ago? And two of those she had spent healing. But perhaps there were more similarities between human and Inarrii than had been expected.
Susan was staring at him now, seemingly disturbed by his odd reaction.
He moved to nuzzle her, rubbing his lips against her jaw and neck, nipping slightly at her skin. “Nothing. You taste so good. Let me taste all of you. I want to find out every parallel between us, every way our differences mesh. Tell me what you like.”
“No. No games, no talking, no thoughts. Just us touching. I need you.”
She tangled her fingers into his hair, drawing him to her for a kiss. Her other hand roamed his body, stroking his L’inar, and driving him insane with sensation. She lay beneath him yet took charge of his body as though he were a novice to the act of love. When she pulled her legs up to wrap about his waist and began to rock against him, he gave in to her driving force. She needed him, so she would have him, all of him.
Reaching down, he stroked her with his fingers and found her ready for him. He levered himself with one arm, holding her hips, and matched his rhythm to hers, slowly pressing into her. He rocked into her core with a steady beat that left both of them gasping. Still, she wouldn’t slow, despite the way her body responded to the sensation of his L’inar as they rubbed inside her.
