“What I want you to apologize for, Alexander Thompson…” She licked her lips and he almost groaned. “I want you to apologize for pushing me away tonight.”
This was too much. No man should have to endure such torture. He closed his eyes to shut out the overwhelming temptation that was Charlotte Grant.
“Your maid —”
“Isn’t coming. I sent her away just before you came.”
His eyes sprang open at that.
“Tell me, Alex,” she continued. “Was kissing me really so bad?”
She twined her hands around his neck again, her lush body pressing against his, and he was lost. Against her he had no willpower. He lowered his head and kissed her. But this time there was no tentative exploration at first, only white hot need. He should have been surprised at Charlotte’s exuberant response, but all he could feel at that moment was a desire so great he almost staggered under its weight. He had shared a number of beds over the years, but no one had ever made him feel quite so desperate as this woman.
“The door,” she murmured against his lips.
He didn’t take his mouth from hers. He couldn’t, and so he backed her up until she was pressed against it and reached down to turn the lock. She drew his coat from his shoulders and he shrugged it off. When he felt her fingers moving with quick confidence down the row of buttons on his waistcoat, he knew that there was no stopping this. He could no longer fight his need to claim her for his own.
With shaking hands, he pulled her away from the door and started to undo the hooks that held up her dress. His movements weren’t as graceful of hers, but his need to see all of her was too great to allow finesse.
He gasped with pleasure when she placed her hands on his abdomen, under his shirt, and began to explore the muscles there.
“Charlotte,” he murmured, drawing his mouth along her cheek and down her throat, “are you sure about this?” He hated to ask the question, but he had to know she would have no regrets.
“I have waited so long for this,” she said. “Please, Alex. Please don’t stop.”
Heat surged through his blood. “I have no intention of stopping.”
After having reached the last hook, he dragged her dress down her arms. She made a shimmying movement, and it dropped into a pool of satin at her feet. She was clad now only in her undergarments and his mouth went dry. He bent and scooped her into his arms, where she curled closer against him. Her weight against him felt good, as though she belonged there, and he had to close his eyes briefly, unable to believe this was actually happening. He almost stumbled when she placed her mouth against his throat and began to place hot, open-mouthed kisses there. Somehow he made it to the bed and laid her in the center. He removed his waistcoat and lifted his shirt over his head before joining her there.
They both stilled when he rolled onto his back and draped her over him. Her body pressed along the length of his was a maddening temptation. He wanted only to tear the remaining garments from her body, to bare her completely to his gaze. It was several moments before he could control that urge and move his arms up to undo the strings that held her stays in place. She drew in a deep breath when he cast aside the confining garment, and he closed his hands over her breasts. She looked down at him, the green of her eyes almost feverishly bright.
“I should hire you as my maid to undress me every night.”
He couldn’t reply. His attention was on dragging the chemise up her body and over her head. When he’d finally stripped her completely, he rolled her over so she was now beneath him. He lay above her, bracing his weight on his forearms as he stared down at her breasts. He felt himself grow harder than he had ever been in his life.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, a slight tremor in her voice.
He met her concerned gaze. “You have freckles on your breasts.”
Heat bloomed on her cheeks. “Do you hate them?”
He wasn’t sure how he could manage any words at that point. “They are one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.”
He dropped his head to show her just how much he liked them. With his tongue, he traced a hot, wet path over the spray of small, pale brown flecks. She squirmed beneath his attention, her hands flexing on his shoulders. Finally, he drew one hard nipple into his mouth.
“Alex,” she moaned, unable to hold still as he to suckled first one, then the other breast.
He finally released her breasts and traced a path down her body.
“What are you doing?” she said, her words barely coherent.
“Tasting you.”
The red hair at the juncture of her thighs was a shade darker than the hair on her head. He didn’t think it possible, but it aroused him further. He felt a pang of regret when he realized she had already removed her stockings, but that didn’t stop him from spreading her legs and burying his head in her hot, already wet heat. Her arousal told him more than words could that she wanted him with a desperation that matched his. He stroked his tongue over that one spot that made her shudder.
The taste of her on his tongue was maddening. He wanted to bury himself inside her, but knew this would be her first time and he wanted her to find her release first.
She wasn’t long in finding that release, and when she did, she carried him up as she bucked off the bed. He rose from the bed in a swift movement and removed the rest of his clothing before joining her again. Her greedy eyes on his body had him moving with haste. She opened her legs when he lowered himself back onto the bed. He settled between her thighs before pressing his shaft against her opening and shuddered with need.
“You are so incredibly beautiful,” he said. Unable to hold back longer, knowing she was as prepared for him as she’d ever be this first time, he drove into her with one swift motion.
She stiffened and he lowered his head into her neck, somehow holding himself still to allow her body time to adjust to his invasion. Her tight heat clenching around him, spurring him to action, make the effort next to impossible. When she clutched his shoulders and lifted her legs around his hips, he could no longer hold back. He lifted his head watched her for signs of pain as he began to move, but instead she matched him stroke for stroke, pushing up when he pressed into her.
His name on her lips, and her hands moving down his back to clasp his buttocks, spurred him to thrust faster. She enveloped him totally at that moment, both body and soul. When she shook again in climax, he stiffened and followed, his mind going blank with the intensity of his release.
He collapsed on top on her, completely spent. It was a few moments before he realized he was crushing her. Cursing himself for an unthinking brute, he rolled off her. She snuggled against his side
His mind raced as he tried to grapple with what had just happened.
“Alex?” Charlotte raised her head and looked at him when he didn’t reply. “Are you going to apologize for making love to me?”
He smiled at the edge of challenge in her voice.
“No,” he said, drawing her head back down to his chest and dropping a kiss onto her now tousled locks.
“Good,” she said, snuggling closer.
Her hand moved over his chest, stroking him. He closed his eyes and banished all thought of consequences. He would worry about them tomorrow. He knew what he had to do, but he also knew just how stubborn Charlotte could be. He suspected that the very worst thing he could do at that moment was to propose marriage. She was proud and he’d have to convince her that he wasn’t acting out of a sense of obligation, but wanted to marry her. Because if there was one thing he had learned that night, it was that he would never let go of Charlotte Grant.
Her hand trailed down his chest and over his abdomen. Alex sucked in a breath as he felt the renewed stirrings of arousal, and then let it escape through clenched teeth when her hand closed over him.
“Is this all right?” she asked, moving her hand along his now erect length.
He flipped her over onto her back and moved over her again. “Most defini
tely.”
* * *
Charlotte woke with a large smile on her face. She stretched lazily as she thought about the night she had shared with Alex.
Alex.
He had stayed with her for most of night, finally leaving to return to his room just before dawn. They had made love one more time before he’d left. It had been the most amazing night of her life.
She tried, but couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. Heavens, what was she going to tell Lucy? Not the truth. Not yet.
She had to speak to Alex. They had only been acting in the moment last night and hadn’t discussed what would happen next.
She washed quickly before ringing for her maid and dressing, and then made her way downstairs. When she reached the breakfast room she wasn’t disappointed. Alex was already there.
He rose when she entered and came to her. Aware of the footman’s presence, she restrained herself from moving into his arms.
“Good morning, Alex,” she said, trying to keep her voice even.
He took her hand and squeezed it gently before releasing it again. “How are you feeling this morning?”
His concern made her heart skip a beat. She let the truth of her reply shine through her eyes. “Happy.”
Alex was about to say something but was interrupted when a maid came into the room to clear away Alex’s breakfast dishes. Charlotte waited until the woman left before speaking again.
“You already ate.”
She knew it was silly, but she was disappointed. She’d been looking forward to having a leisurely breakfast with him. It was the only time they’d have together that day before Lucy and Lady Clarington woke.
“Yes. I needed to get an early start this morning.”
Something in Alex’s demeanor had her senses on alert. She tried to keep her voice from betraying her concern when she asked, “You have plans?”
They were interrupted again, this time by the butler.
“Your carriage is waiting, Your Grace. Mr. Wells was able to pack one trunk for you. He will follow later this morning with the rest of your belongings.”
Alex thanked the man and dismissed him.
The brief disappointment Charlotte had felt at being denied the opportunity to have breakfast with him was nothing to shock and sense of betrayal sweeping over her now.
“You’re leaving.” The words sounded hollow to her ears.
“Charlotte, listen to me.”
He reached for her hand again, but she snatched it back. She couldn’t bear to have him touching her right now.
He dropped his hand. His expression was carefully controlled, and she fought against an almost overwhelming urge to lash out and hurt him the way he was hurting her with his distance.
“I cannot continue to live under the same roof with you. Not after what happened last night.”
She’d suspected as much. He was going to apologize again, tell her it was all a big mistake. She turned and took a few steps away from him, struggling to maintain her composure.
“I understand,” she said when she could manage to speak.
“No, I don’t think you do.” She heard the click of a door closing and then he was behind her. He spun her to face him and she saw that they were now alone. “Charlotte, I cannot live under the same roof as the woman I am courting. Your reputation would not survive it.”
She was afraid she hadn’t heard him correctly. “Courting?”
The heat in his eyes reached right inside her, reigniting the smoldering embers of her love for him.
“Yes, courting. After last night I want to spend more time with you, get to know you better, and I want the whole world to know it. But I cannot do that while living here.”
A bubble of happiness welled up inside her and she couldn’t resist the urge to tease him. “Oh dear. What about Lord Haversham?”
Alex swore and Charlotte laughed, feeling freer again. She moved to throw her arms around him, but he took a quick step back, and instead, took her hands in his.
“I need to leave now while I am still able to.” The way he looked at her, as though he wanted to devour her, told her that leaving was the last thing he wanted to do. She swayed toward him and he closed his eyes, his expression pained
She didn’t speak when he dropped her hands and turned to leave, but her smile was now firmly back in place and her spirits even higher than they’d been when she woke.
Chapter Five
Alex was as good as his word. During the weeks that followed, he was at every event she attended and speculation was rife that the Duke of Clarington was smitten. Even Lucy had been surprised at how quickly her brother had come around and had confessed that she’d thought he’d be much more stubborn. If she suspected that something more had happened between Alex and Charlotte, she didn’t say anything about it, and Charlotte had not brought up the subject. Not because she thought her friend would judge her, but because the memory was too precious to her. She couldn’t bear the thought of exposing it to the harsh light of day, and so kept it tucked away close to her heart.
Alex’s two closest friends also attended many of those events, even going so far as to dance with her and seek out her company. She suspected they were trying to determine if she was good enough for Alex, and she tried not to let her own doubts as to her worthiness show.
It was difficult, though, to keep those doubts pushed to the back of her mind when Alex’s attention started to wane after a month had passed. The fact that he’d begun to distance himself from her after he’d taken her aside to ask whether her monthly courses had come, left her imagining that his previous interest was only due to the fact he’d worried she was carrying his child. She continued to hold her head high, though, refusing to change back into that shy, uncertain teen he’d known seven years before.
One morning, six weeks after their one night together, Charlotte walked into the drawing room and was surprised to find Alex there. He’d been very careful in all that time only to see her away from the house.
He turned when she entered the room and smiled. “I was hoping you’d hold true to form and wake early.”
He crossed the room to close the door. He seemed to be in a very strange mood, but Charlotte couldn’t say what was wrong. That irrepressible part of her that told her his interest in her was too good to be true reared its ugly head. She tried but couldn’t hold it back.
“Is something amiss?” she asked.
He closed the distance between them. She expected him to reach for her or to take hold of her hands, but he stopped a few feet away.
“We cannot continue as we have been for the past few weeks,” he said, his expression grave.
Grief washed over her, and Charlotte had to close her eyes against the assault. She’d been terrified this would happen. She could never have lied to him, but she wished now that she had fallen pregnant that night.
When she could bring herself to look at him again, she knew she had guessed correctly. The hesitant expression on his face told her all she needed to know. He was trying to let her down gently.
She started to turn away from him, but he reached for her arm and kept her in place.
“What are you thinking, Charlotte? Surely you’re not disappointed?”
She firmed her resolve and met his concerned gaze. “I understand,” she said, seeking to reassure him that she wasn’t hopelessly crushed when all she wanted to do was curl up in a small ball and cry. “I have enjoyed the past few weeks with you, but it is time to put an end to this courtship.”
She expected to see his relief at her words. Instead, an unnatural stillness surrounded him.
“I had hoped to end our courtship this morning,” he said when he finally spoke.
Oh, this was too painful. She wasn’t sure how she managed to continue to breathe. She had to get out of that room and away from Alex before she embarrassed herself. She managed a curt nod, a smile that felt wooden, and looked down at where he still held her arm. When he released her, she turned to leave.<
br />
“I’m not finished, Charlotte. Whether you want to hear it or not, I’d like to finish what I came here to say.”
She shook her head and continued. Her hand was on the doorknob when she heard him move behind her. His hand against the door halted her progress. They stood that way for a time. Charlotte wanted so much to lean back against him, but she knew she couldn’t, not ever again. That knowledge made the current situation that much more painful.
“I had hoped that you would agree to this willingly,” Alex said, his breath soft and warm against her neck. “But if I must, you should know that I will give you no other choice.”
She shook her head. He was making no sense whatsoever. She’d already given him his freedom.
He took a step back when she turned to face him, and it took her a moment to recognize what she was seeing on his face. Pain. But why?
She would let him say what he needed to say, and then she would return to her room and fall apart.
“I’ve given you your freedom. What more do you want from me?”
He shook his head, the movement a quick, jerky one. “I don’t want my freedom.”
Now she was completely confused. “But you just said you wanted to end our courtship.”
The ghost of a smile touched his lips. “Yes, but that was because I’d hoped to replace it with a betrothal. Staying away from you is killing me, Charlotte. I hate only being able to see you for a few hours each evening.”
Slowly, his words penetrated through the fog of her despair.
“You don’t want to stop seeing me?”
“No, Charlotte, I most definitely do not. I want to see much, much more of you. Every day for the rest of our lives.”
She started to smile then stopped as another horrible thought occurred to her.
“You don’t have to do this because you compromised me.”
He’d grasped her arms and gave her a slight shake. “You, Charlotte Grant, are the most exasperating woman I have ever met. If I wanted to marry you only because I felt I had to, would I have wasted these past few weeks courting you?”
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