by Amy Jarecki
“Excuse me?” She’d tried to sound indignant and in control, but it came out scared.
Amanda threw the pillow to the floor. “Get out of my room. I hate you!”
Amanda had crossed the line and Rebecca could not let it pass. This was too important. But when she looked into Amanda’s eyes and saw all that anger and pain, the guilt crept back in. Rebecca stood, her knees shaking, she walked to the door. “I’m escorting you to school in the morning, even if I have to put a dog collar on you and drag you there!”
Racing through the house, Rebecca pushed into studio. In the rocking chair, she curled into a ball and let the tears spill.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Hair matted, no makeup, wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a frayed sweatshirt, Amanda crept down the stairs allowing no time for breakfast. Rebecca met her at the bottom of the staircase, toast wrapped in a napkin in one hand, and a lunch in the other. “Come on, Ryan, let’s go.”
Amanda sulked and said nothing on the drive. She did, however, obediently alight from the car and walk in the front door of Shawnee High School, a determined edge to her jaw. Rebecca noticed a few glances and one boy tried to make a scene. “Whoa, get out of her way, she looks like she could kill somebody.”
Rebecca marched straight ahead as if he were invisible.
Once inside, Amanda stopped. “I’m good from here. It’s too embarrassing to have my mother walk me to class.”
Rebecca hesitated. “No. Keep going.”
Amanda groaned and rolled her eyes, clomping down the hall. She stopped outside the science room door. “This is it.”
“I’ll see you after school.”
“Whatever.”
Rebecca took a deep breath and slipped into the counselor’s office.
The secretary didn’t look up. “Can I help you?”
“I’d like to speak to Mr. Carpenter.”
Luckily Amanda’s counselor had a moment. A tall man with thick glasses, he wore beige corduroy pants and a light blue sweater. “Mrs. Lee, what can I do for you?”
“I’m sure you’ve heard of my daughter’s unladylike behavior on the senior trip by now.”
He fiddled with the papers on his desk. “Yes.”
“I want you to know that she’s very reluctant and embarrassed to attend school. I’d like the teachers to stop any unsavory teasing that may result from rumors which I’m sure have spread.”
“Good idea. I’ll alert her teachers.”
“Thank you. In addition, I want to be notified immediately if she doesn’t attend a class. Part of her punishment is that I have made her show her face in school. Hopefully this mess will blow over in a couple of weeks but this is her last semester, and this incident cannot scar her GPA. Understood?”
“Yes ma’am. But she is eighteen. She’s now responsible for her own behavior. That’s part of becoming an adult.”
Rebecca pressed the heels of her hands against her temples. What was it with high school educators, so anxious to give students their freedom? “Your rules sent my eighteen-year-old home from the senior trip. She’s still a student in your school and she lives under my roof with my rules. All I ask is a phone call if she skips class. Is that so hard?”
Hesitating, he stood. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Rebecca pounded her fist on the desk a little harder than she intended. “Just make the call. Thank you.” She couldn’t believe his blasé frown. School administrators were really good about enforcing their rules, but the moment a parent asked them to help enforce home rules, they played the “she’s an adult” card. How utterly spineless. She turned and darted out of Mr. Carpenter’s broom-closet sized office.
Rebecca slammed the door to her studio, glancing at the answering machine. She already had five messages and her cell phone started to ring simultaneously with the business phone. She picked the cell. Without looking at the display she answered. “Hello?”
“Rebecca?”
God. Matt was the last person she wanted to talk to. She sucked in a breath.
“You all right?”
“I’m fine. I thought you said you were out of my life for good.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Can I come over to talk?”
Rebecca heaved a sigh. “No. I can’t deal with this right now.” She clicked her phone off.
It rang again. She didn’t have to look at the caller ID to know it was Matt. She turned the damned thing off.
Rebecca threw herself into her work. Her daughter hated her and her boyfriend—well, there was no boyfriend. Fortunately, Rebecca’s week was filled with grooming appointments. She had plenty of work to keep her mind off her miserable life. Damn, she knew she shouldn’t date until the kids left home. She had broken the one rule she’d set for herself after Henry died. How did she get sucked in?
Ryan arrived home first. “Mom—you got anything to eat?”
“How about a peanut butter sandwich? Did you see Mandy today?”
“Saw her at lunch.” Ryan’s shoulders slumped.
“Did she look okay?”
He shrugged. “I guess. But it was the first time I can remember where she didn’t sit with Sean.”
Rebecca’s eyebrows arched. “Oh yeah? Who did she sit with?”
“A pack of her girlfriends. Looked like she was holding court.”
Rebecca shook her head as the front door slammed and Amanda charged upstairs. Ryan left to workout with Jason, sandwich in hand.
Rebecca poked her head into Amanda’s room. “I see you survived.”
Amanda leaned into her dresser mirror and applied lip gloss. “Yeah. No problem.”
“Things weren’t as bad as you thought?”
Amanda whipped around. “What do you want me to say? Sean’s already sucking face with some sophomore slut? Five guys asked me out—which made me feel cheap. Is that what you want to hear, because that’s the truth.”
Rebecca sat on the bed. “Sean dumped you?”
“Looks like it, though he didn’t have the nerve to tell me to my face. He just made sure I saw him making out with that…with that thing before lunch.”
“Oh my goodness. I’m sorry, honey. Of all the low-down, nasty things to do.”
Amanda burst into tears. “That bastard. I was going to marry him. We were going to go to Rutgers together. Now all my plans are ruined. My l-life is o-over!” She threw herself on the bed, face first into the pillow, wailing so loudly, Rebecca imagined the whole town of Medford could hear.
Rebecca kneeled beside the bed. “I know how much this must hurt.”
Amanda sat up, hugged her pillow, eyes rimmed angry red. “You don’t know anything. You and Matt just go around doing it behind my back and think you’re so smart. What happened in New York? Did you sleep with him?”
Rebecca stood. “That’s none of your business.”
“Yeah? And why is my sex your business?”
Rebecca edged away. “Because I’m the parent!” The vise-like clamp to her gut warned of an impending explosion.
Amanda rolled her eyes.
Rebecca headed for the door. “We’ll continue this conversation some other time.”
“What? Have you got a hot date with Matt?”
Rebecca grabbed the knob and turned. “For your information, Matt and I broke it off because of your selfish crap, so take that and stuff it down your prissy little neck.”
Rebecca slammed the door.
By the crash that followed, Amanda must have thrown something. “I can’t wait to go to college so I can get out of this miserable house!”
***
Over the next couple of weeks, Rebecca went through the motions of life much like she had after Henry’s death. If it weren’t for her dogs, she would have gone mad. Amanda wasn’t speaking to her and Matt was gone.
She missed him most at handling classes. Today he wasn’t there grinning across the room, trying to make her laugh, working harder than everyone else. The class took their dogs around and me
mories of their unbelievable time at Westminster came flooding back. No matter how she tried to block it from her mind, she could not. At night she longed to have Matt beside her, spooning with her, loving her.
She snapped herself out of it when a Great Dane plodded up and put his wet nose in her hand. Oh heck, the class stood in line waiting for her next command with anticipation. One second they were taking their dogs around the room, and the next they were all lined up with their dogs perfectly stacked. How did that happen? How long had she been distracted?
“Take them around two more times,” she said regaining her composure.
Rebecca needed to find a way to get a grip.
***
Amanda sat at her laptop and worked on her report. She’d lost all motivation this semester. She just made a vow to get her work done so she wouldn’t fail anything. Not that she would. She always got good grades with little effort, but typing every word of this report drained her. Three more months and she’d be done with high school. Thank God.
She looked up at the tap on her door. Ryan poked his head in. “Can I come in?”
“If you must.”
He crossed his arms. “Why do you have to act like such a tough snot all the time?”
“Because I want to.”
“Yeah, but I know you’re not like that—not deep down.”
Amanda pulled her hair back and fastened it with a clip. “I got my acceptance to Penn State today.”
“I thought you were going to Rutgers.”
“I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to Penn.”
Ryan sauntered in beside her. “Cool. You can show me around when I get there.”
“What? Be seen with my lame brother?” Amanda patted his arm and laughed. “So why did you come in here?”
“You know Mom and Matt broke up.”
Amanda shrugged. “Uh huh.”
“But Mom really liked him.”
“Yeah.”
“I liked him too.” Ryan plopped onto her bed. “He’s a cool dude. And look what he did for you at the dance and all. I don’t know many guys who would go to all that trouble.”
Amanda clicked her keys and typed another sentence. “Matt was pretty cool I guess.”
Ryan picked up her pink fluffy pillow and tossed it in the air. “Now he won’t go to my track meets because Mom’s there—and I’m never gonna be able to practice ball with him again.” He threw the pillow at the wall. “Damn. He really helped me a lot, and I probably won’t ever see him again. And then when we both go to college, Mom will be alone.”
Amanda stared at her computer while a tear slipped from her eye and streamed down to her chin. “It’s all my fault.”
***
Matt had no idea why Amanda called him and asked to meet at the coffee shop. He’d nearly said no, but there was something in her voice—a sense of urgency and pleading that made him give in. Whatever it was, he hoped he’d find the nice Amanda who presented herself at dog shows. He couldn’t handle another lecture on the fact that he had no idea how to raise kids. And he hoped to God Rebecca wouldn’t be there.
Amanda waived at him from a booth. That was odd—he was about ten minutes early. She must really need to talk. “Hey, Mandy. How’re you doing?” Matt took the seat opposite her.
“I’m okay. I guess.”
How should he respond to that? If he said the wrong thing, she might explode. He eyed the waitress. “Can I have a cup of decaf?” Matt returned his gaze to Amanda. She sat up straight with a cockeyed grin. He had to ask, “How’s your mom?”
“She’s miserable. Hardly talks.”
The waitress brought the coffee and Matt reached for the cream. “Oh.”
“You guys did really good at Westminster.”
Matt looked up and met her gaze. “Yeah. We were quite a team.”
Amanda studied her chipped blue nail polish. “I owe you an apology.”
“You think so? Why?”
“Because I ruined your life.” She took a sip of her coffee. “I mean just because my life is ruined doesn’t mean everyone else’s has to be.”
Matt leaned back and cocked his head.
“And Ryan misses you.”
His heart squeezed at the mention of her brother. “I miss him.”
“Do you miss Momma?”
“Yes.” He held up his cup, surprised that his hand trembled. “Very much.”
“Good.” Amanda pulled out her cell phone and dialed.
Matt drained his coffee. Great. He’d come to talk to her and Amanda decided it was time to make a call.
“You can come in now.” Amanda clicked off her phone.
“Who was that?”
She looked at the door and beckoned with her hand.
Matt’s stomach did a back flip. He turned, expecting to see Rebecca, but Ryan grinned at him. That was pretty cool too.
“Hey Matt, what’s up?” Ryan said, sliding in beside Amanda.
“I got girlfriend problems.”
Ryan laughed. “You too?”
“Hell, yeah. If you were twenty-one, I’d take you out for a beer.”
“We could try,” Ryan said, hopeful.
“No way. Jail is no place for me…So, you got girl problems?” He glanced at Amanda. “Want to talk about it?”
Ryan shook his head. “Nothing to talk about, really. You know that girl I liked?”
“Yeah.”
“She’s dating Amanda’s old boyfriend.”
Amanda jabbed Ryan with her elbow. “The idiots deserve each other.”
Matt frowned. “Ouch. I’m sorry. That must hurt—for both of you.”
Ryan punched his fist against his palm. “I’d like to meet him on the football field, the jerk. But he’s a patsy tennis player.”
Matt shook his head and cringed. “Never trust a guy in white shorts.”
Amanda again elbowed Ryan and they both looked at Matt with Cheshire Cat grins.
He sat back. “Okay, what’s up with the two of you? I can smell a scheme brewing.”
Amanda twirled a lock of hair around her finger. “We want you to get back with Mom.”
Matt picked up his empty cup and looked inside. “You’re kidding. I think she’d sooner kill me.”
Ryan shook his head. “Nah. She just thinks she’s protecting us by doing the ‘I’m not going to see anyone until my kids graduate’ thing.”
“You know about that?” Matt chuckled. “So what do you think I should do? Get down on my knees and beg?”
“Begging could be involved,” Amanda said.
Ryan ran his hand over the table top. “We’ll get her ready. You just have to take her out.”
“So, kind of snowball her, is that what you’re thinking?”
Ryan grinned. “Exactly.”
“Friday night.” Amanda reached for her purse. “Can you do it Friday?”
“I might.”
“Good. Wear a suit and take her someplace nice. She’ll like that.”
Matt cast his eyes to the ceiling. “I must be insane.”
“Nope. Just in love.” Amanda pushed Ryan out and stood. “I’ve got to run. See you at seven Friday.”
Ryan slid back into the booth. “You should ask her to marry you.”
Matt’s eyes popped. “What?”
“I mean it. I know she really, really likes you.”
“You think?”
“Yeah.”
Matt folded his arms, eyebrows cocked. “How would you feel about that?”
“Are you kidding? I’d have the coolest stepdad in the state of New Jersey.”
Matt drummed his fingers on the table. “Well, I’ll have to make her fall in love with me all over again.”
“I don’t think so. You should see her. She hasn’t been this depressed since Dad died.”
“Really?” Matt covered his smile with his hand. “I don’t know. I’m a confirmed bachelor. I’m forty-years-old and have never been married. It’d be pretty hard for me to change, you know.”<
br />
“Sure. I know.” Ryan sounded a little down, though he couldn’t possibly understand the radical change it would make to Matt’s world. Matt started to scoot out of the booth but Ryan held up his hand. “Hey Matt. How would you feel about me?”
“You?”
Matt looked him in the eye. Ryan’s mouth twisted with uncertainty. “Yeah. You know, about being my stepdad?”
Matt slid around to the seat next to Ryan and squeezed his shoulder. “I would have the coolest stepson in the world.”
***
Rebecca knew something was up when both kids came home from school and filed into the studio, grins stretched across their faces. Even Amanda’s. Was she ready to call a truce?
“What’s this all about?”
“A surprise,” Ryan said.
“But you’ve got to get dressed.” Amanda gestured toward the door. “I picked out your dress, shoes, everything.”
Rebecca cringed. An ambush she could do without. “And what’s the occasion?”
Ryan looped his arm through her elbow and tugged. “You’ll find out, but for now, you need to go upstairs with Amanda.”
Rebecca let Ryan escort her. “Does this have anything to do with someone who has the initials M.J.?”
Amanda clasped Rebecca’s hand. “We really like him, Mom.”
“Yeah,” Ryan said. “And I need him when football season comes around.”
“And I’m not going to Penn State unless you put that dress on.”
They pushed Rebecca through her bedroom door. She stopped. “You got accepted to Penn?”
“Yes.”
“What about Rutgers?”
“Who wants to go to that lame school?”
That’s the best news she’d had in days. Rebecca threw her arms around Amanda’s neck. “Oh sweetie, you’re going to love it there.”
“I can’t wait.” Amanda held her at arm’s length and inclined her head toward the bed. “But first you’ve got to put on the dress.”
Rebecca looked. “The black one?”
