by Shuler, Tara
“What does that mean?” Kai asked quickly.
“It means I’m effectively ‘single’ for the moment,” I clarified.
“You’re breaking up with me?” Kai shouted, jumping to his feet and looking extremely alarmed.
“Kai, calm down,” I assured him, standing up and putting my hands on his arms. “It’s not like I’m dumping you. I’m just putting everything on hold for the moment. I need some time to think. This is all too much for me, especially with everything that’s going on. It’s time for me to grow up, and I can’t do that without a clear head.”
“I think it is a marvelous idea,” Alexi interjected.
“You would,” Kai growled at Alexi with a scowl.
“She’s right,” Liam said. “You’re all pawing at her like a pack of wolves all the time. Give the poor girl some space, for God’s sake.”
“Butt out!” Kai snapped. “This isn’t even any of your business!”
“Kai, stop it,” I demanded. “This isn’t helping. I know you’re upset, but don’t take it out on Liam.”
“I just don’t understand why you’re doing this!” Kai pleaded. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No!” I gasped. “I just need some time to sort things out. This whole business of loving multiple people… it’s just wrong. People keep getting hurt. I keep getting hurt! Please try to understand. I just need time.”
“This isn’t fair,” Kai sighed. “I’ve done everything I could do be there for you, and to give you space when you needed it. I’ve stood back and watched Max and Alexi fawn all over you, and I hardly said a word. I’ve even stayed away from you at Alexi’s command, because he said it was best for you. And now you’re doing this to me?”
“Kai, please,” I begged. “I’m not doing this to you. I’m doing this for me. For all of us, really.”
“For all of us,” Kai parroted. “Right.”
“I’m doing this whether you like it or not,” I said frankly. “I don’t need your permission, and I’m not asking for it.”
“Fine!” Kai shouted. “You do what you want! I’m so done with this!”
Kai flounced out of the room like a little girl having a temper tantrum, leaving me with my mouth hanging open. Alexi reached over and pushed my chin upward with his finger, effectively closing my mouth.
“Unbelievable…” I mumbled, shaking my head in disbelief.
Alexi sighed.
“You had to know he would react badly to such news,” Alexi said.
“I should have, I suppose,” I agreed. “I just thought maybe he’d matured enough to deal with it by now.”
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, too,” Max said suddenly.
I turned to face him. His face was stolid, but his dark eyes held a glint of sadness.
“What is it?” I asked him.
“I’ve located my father.”
“What?” I gasped. “Where is he? Is he okay? When did this happen?”
“I located him a few days ago. He’s in a hunter compound in New York,” Max said. “He’s fine.”
“The hunters aren’t mad at him?” I asked.
“Well, it was Alexi who helped me find him,” Max admitted. “He sent word out to the hunters that the Council wouldn’t tolerate anything being done to him.”
“You did that?” I asked Alexi.
He nodded, his face flushing faintly.
“I’m going to start my training with him next week,” he said.
“Oh. How long will you be gone?” I asked.
“I’m not coming back,” Max said flatly.
“Ever?” I gasped.
“I’m not saying I’ll never see you again,” Max answered. “But… well, look. I know you’re not in love with me. You never will be. It kills me. It’s like… well, I can’t explain it. But I’ve finally realized it’s not meant to be.”
Max stood up and walked over to me. He put his finger under my chin and lifted my face, staring deep into my eyes.
“I’ll always love you, Alice,” he said, his voice breaking.
He bent over and pressed his lips gently to mine, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close to him. Then, he brushed my cheek gently.
“I promise I’ll keep in contact with you,” Max vowed. “And if you ever need me for anything, I’ll be here. No matter what, I will always be here for you.”
“Oh, Max!” I gushed, tears filling my eyes. “I’m going to miss you so much!”
“I’ll miss you, too,” he admitted. “You have no idea how much. But now that my father is okay, he wants me to return to my training. I think he’s right. It’s the right thing for me to do.”
I sniffled, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. I nuzzled his chest, and I listened to his heartbeat as his chest rose and fell. I was going to miss his warmth so much.
“I understand,” I whispered. “Thank you for understand me, too.”
He kissed the top of my head.
“I only want you to be happy, and I hope you find what you’re looking for,” Max told me.
Planting one last kiss on my lips, he left the room.
“Thank you,” I said.
“For what?” Alexi asked.
I turned to face him.
“For what you did for Max,” I answered.
“He didn’t do it for Max,” Liam interjected.
“Stay out of this!” Alexi growled.
“Just tell her why you did it!” Liam snapped. “Doesn’t she deserve to know?”
“Liam…” Alexi snarled.
“What’s he talking about, Alexi?” I demanded.
“Nothing,” Alexi mumbled.
“If you don’t tell her, I will,” Liam said.
“I said stay out of this!” Alexi shouted.
“He did it to get rid of Max!” Liam suddenly yelled. “Didn’t you, brother? You’ll do whatever it takes to get rid of the competition!”
“Stop it!” Alexi barked. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because she deserves to know the truth! You have her thinking you’re Saint Alexi, but you’re not! And I’m sick of you playing the martyr all the time!”
“Alexi, what’s going on?” I demanded, starting to get annoyed.
“Do not let him do this,” Alexi pleaded. “I do not understand why he is doing this, but you cannot believe him.”
“I don’t know what to believe, anymore,” I said. “But this kind of thing is exactly why I’m just backing off for now. I can’t handle any of this!”
I ran from the library and fled to the sanctuary of my room. I wanted to hide away from everything and everyone until I could gather my thoughts. I was tired of conflict. I was tired of hurting the people I loved. I was tired of being in the middle of everything all the time. I just wanted some peace.
I felt some alien emotion growing inside me. I wasn’t sure what it was. It felt strange, yet comforting. Although my stomach was twisted in knots, and I wanted to burst into tears, I somehow felt stronger than I had in ages.
I had finally decided to stand up to everyone and tell them exactly how I felt. I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I wasn’t ready to make a decision about who I wanted to be with. To tell the honest truth, I wasn’t even sure if I was truly in love with anyone. I had deep feelings for Kai, and I really thought it might be love. I had thought for so long I was in love with him, but when my feelings for Max started to grow stronger, I began to doubt whether my feelings for Kai were truly love, or just infatuation.
Then there was Max. I had feelings for him, too. Kissing him was incredible, and his touch was warm and inviting. I loved being around him, and I loved his strong, protective nature. But something was missing.
And then Alexi had come along and turned everything upside down. At first, I thought he was crazy. With all his talk about being in love with me before we ever met, just because of some visions his father had, I couldn’t imagine how he could really love me. It all seemed so strange. But the way
he looked at me, and the way he had kissed me… I could feel it. There was something electrifying in the way he held me – like I was exactly where I belonged. But was it love?
Whether I was betrothed to him, or not, I couldn’t marry him if I wasn’t in love with him. I didn’t want to dishonor the oath our fathers had made, but I knew I couldn’t marry someone I didn’t love. It wouldn’t be right.
It was all far too much to deal with. I hoped that perhaps stepping back for some breathing room might help me figure out a few things. I knew I would eventually have to hurt someone, but I couldn’t keep hurting everyone. It wasn’t fair to anyone to keep doing that.
Max had made things a little easier. He was probably right. Although I cared for him very deeply, I didn’t think it was love. Kissing him was incredible, but I became convinced it was just infatuation. He was attractive, and kind, and I’d just been sucked in by it. Now that he was leaving, things would at least be a little easier. I would miss him, but at least he promised to stay in touch.
Kai was going to be a problem. The way he’d flounced out of the library in a fit really stung. He was always doing that. Every time he’d get a little upset, he’d storm off in a huff. Frankly, it was becoming tiring. I had lost count of how many times he’d run off.
Then again, it was probably my fault. He’d been through unspeakable torment from his mother, and he’d been alone all his life. He needed me. I wanted to badly to be there for him, and to never hurt him again. But I couldn’t let that cloud my judgment. I needed to make the right decision for me, not what I thought I needed to do based on pity. It would hurt Kai more in the long run if I chose him solely because I pitied him than it would if I just ended it now. He deserved to be with someone who truly loved him, and I wasn’t yet sure if I could do that.
And finally, there was Alexi. Liam had cast some relatively serious doubt over Alexi’s true nature. It was driving me crazy to think that perhaps Alexi had been deceiving me in some way. He was, I thought, one of the most mature and sincere people I’d ever met.
I flung myself backwards onto my bed and sighed loudly at the ceiling. This would have been too much to deal with even if we weren’t battling against Dmitri and his wraiths. But I needed a clear head if we were going to defeat him, so I had to shove my relationship difficulties aside for the moment.
I decided to throw myself into training. Maybe in the process of improving my abilities, I’d become a stronger person inside, as well. I knew I had some serious growing up to do. At eighteen, I may have been legally an adult, but inside I was still very much a little girl.
Chapter Six – Best Friend
For the next several weeks, I went through some intense training sessions. I worked with Liam to train several of my abilities, and it was actually a lot of fun. When he’d originally started training me, it had been a nightmare. He would have to be electrocuted in order to provoke an emotional response in me. Seeing him in severe pain made me so upset, I would have done anything to stop it. Thus, I was able to channel my abilities effectively. Before long, I learned to do it without him being put through that kind of pain.
Now, training with Liam was a breath of fresh air. He was actually a lot of fun to be around. With Liam, things were lighthearted, and fun. I never had to worry about hurting his feelings, and I wasn’t afraid he’d suddenly try to kiss me or anything awkward. We could enjoy our time together without worrying about anything romantic getting in the way.
Liam was actually a riot. We laughed more than we trained, although that really should have been a problem. We had some serious issues facing us, but somehow, Liam made me forget all about Dmitri, and wraiths, and the looming threat of being kidnapped or killed. He even made me forget, if only temporarily, about Max leaving and me getting the cold-shoulder from Kai.
Max had left a few days after he told me about his father. True to his word, he kept in touch. He called me every day to ask how my training was going, and to tell me how his was progressing. Our talks were short, but nice.
Kai had been avoiding me completely. He hadn’t left the compound, which was a good sign, but he’d immediately leave the room whenever I entered one he was in. He wouldn’t even look at me. I decided it was best if I just gave him some space.
Things with Alexi were awkward, to say the least. He was trying very hard to give me the space I’d requested, but I could tell it was killing him inside. Every time he was near me, he would get quiet, and he’d tense up.
I decided not to press the issue of his honesty – or dishonesty. I didn’t really want to find out the truth. I was hoping what Liam said wasn’t true. I didn’t want to think of Alexi manipulating me that way. Still, it lingered in the back of my mind and I couldn’t shake it. I must admit, it was hard to ignore what Liam had said, even though I desperately wanted to forget it.
I was learning to harness my abilities very well. Under Liam’s tutelage, I learned to heal minor wounds without experiencing Blood Haze. It wasn’t as useful around vampires, because we could heal non-mortal wounds on our own, but it was useful when humans were around. Grace, however, was something I couldn’t practice. We couldn’t kill people just so I could attempt it, and every time I used it, I became drained to the point of near death for days. Unfortunately, I would just have to hope I could use it whenever it was needed.
I learned better control of the weather, though I still couldn’t manage to do it indoors. I could bring a funnel cloud down very quickly, and I could control it fairly accurately. I’d even managed to make lightning strike at a location of my choice, but I was never able to repeat it. This, I also learned to do without Blood Haze.
I even improved my ability to track. Now, I could find people without an emotional connection of any kind, as long as they were nearby. All I needed was to touch someone who knew the person I was tracking, or touch an item they had once touched. I could find people in a one-mile radius in mere minutes, but I still had trouble locating people from miles away without an emotional connection.
I still couldn’t control time, even for a few seconds. Every time I’d ever done it, I’d been experiencing Blood Haze. It had been completely incidental – not something I’d intended to do, but more a side effect of the situation. I wouldn’t say it was an accident, because I assumed I had control over it at a subconscious level. However, I still had no way to use it, because I had no idea how it worked.
I knew I was getting stronger, but I still wasn’t anywhere near ready to take on Dmitri and his wraiths. The most I could do would be to hold them off for a while. We needed a way to put the wraiths out of commission completely.
One morning, Alexi greeted me in the dining hall while Liam and I were eating and discussing the day’s training schedule. His mouth was twisted into a grim frown.
“We need to talk,” Alexi said to Liam and me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, suddenly concerned.
“Dmitri has made contact.”
I dropped my spoon into my cereal, and it splashed milk and bits of bran flakes onto my shirt.
“Damn it!” I cursed, grabbing a napkin and dabbing mindlessly at the mess. “What do you mean he’s made contact? What did he say?”
“He called,” Alexi answered. “He said we had forty-eight hours to turn you over or he would level the compound.”
I felt the contents of my stomach start to churn, and I inhaled sharply.
“Can he do that?” I asked.
“He knows where we are, now,” Alexi admitted. “It is entirely possible. No one really knows the extent of Dmitri’s abilities. Nor do we know who he has working with him, now.”
“So, basically, we’re completely in the dark. We’re at his mercy. Is that what you’re saying?” I questioned.
“No, I am not saying that,” Alexi said. “I am just saying… well, I do not know what I am saying. Just do not panic.”
“Don’t panic?” I shrieked, standing up so quickly my chair turned over and I bumped the table, knocking Liam
’s orange juice into his lap.
“Shit,” he mumbled, quickly trying to mop up the mess with napkins.
“Sorry,” I shot at Liam quickly. “Alexi, I’m sorry, I’m freaking out. I should just go to him. I can’t let anything happen to all of you because of me.”
“No!” shouted Alexi and Liam in unison.
“Look, I…” I started to say.
“Forget it!” Alexi yelled. “I will not just turn you over to him! If he wants you, he will have to go through me!”
“And me!” Liam added.
“And me,” Kai interjected.
I turned to face the sound of is voice. He’d been listening in from the doorway. I shook my head.
“I’m not having this discussion with all of you,” I snapped. “I’m going!”
“I am afraid you are not,” Alexi challenged me.
“Alexi, don’t make me put you to sleep,” I threatened. “I will if I have to.”
“Alice, please just listen,” Alexi begged. “I think I may know of a way we could defeat the wraiths, but I just need a few hours to figure it all out. Will you give me that?”
“Dmitri said forty-eight hours, right?” I asked.
“Yes,” Alexi replied.
“You have twelve hours,” I agreed. “Not a minute more. In twelve hours, I’m going to figure out how to contact Dmitri, and I’m telling him I’m turning myself over to him.”
“Thank you,” Alexi breathed, clearly relieved. “I will let you know as soon as I figure it all out.”
With that, Alexi quickly breezed out of the room, his black cloak billowing behind him.
“Are you really going to just turn yourself over to Dmitri if he doesn’t figure something out?” Liam asked. “You don’t even know what Dmitri has in mind. He might kill you.”
“That’s a chance I’m willing to take if it means protecting all of you,” I said flatly.
“But we don’t want you to do that, Alice,” Liam said. “Every one of us would die to protect you! Turning you over is the last thing any of us wants!”
