Hugging the club, I rocked and rocked. “Stop. Make it stop. Please, God, make it stop. Q. Please. I’m sorry. I need you. Q!”
Something fissured deep inside. My soul folded inside me like a tattered piece of origami, taking everything good left in me, leaving me with nothing.
My memories, my happiness, my strength, and passion for Q all vanished. Just like that.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
It’s happening. It’s happened. I’m done. I literally stared at the end of my life.
Time blacked out and I came to as Leather Jacket pushed me over, sprawling me on top of Blonde Hummingbird. She didn’t move, didn’t make a sound.
He laughed. “You were doing so well, bitch. Taking orders like a pro.” He squatted in front of me, grabbing my hair to look me in the eye. “You beat her until we told you to stop. You swung that bat like she was vermin you wanted to kill. Do you remember, puta? Do you remember what you did? Huh?”
I retched and buckled over. The coughing started with vengeance. Maybe I could suffocate from coughing, drown from whatever buildup existed in my lungs.
Ryan the Ogre kicked me off Blonde Hummingbird and dragged me away.
I tried to stay awake and not let the drugs swoop me away, but time flickered and crackled. Why am I fighting it? The oblivion is better than reality. With a drawn out sigh, I let the drugs consume me.
Corridor.
Room.
Another corridor.
Ryan threw me into a space different to the abominable dungeons and cells. A large grimy window let gorgeous sunlight stream in, highlighting the evil and dankness in the room.
A fist to my shoulder blades sent me straight to the ground.
A flare of red fire lit up my jaw and my eyes snapped open. I blinked when Leather Jacket appeared in my face. His greasy skin and stringy hair needed disinfecting; he stank like a dumpster. “Know why you’re tied up, slut?”
I’m tied up? I looked down, noticing the bindings around my wrists and my legs imprisoned tight against chair legs. Another black-out. Another fragment of my life stolen.
I didn’t answer. I no longer had the energy to care. The drugs for once were on my side—cushioning me from the outside world, turning me introvert until nothing else existed.
He whispered, “We’re going to do to you what you’ve done to the girls over the last few days. But we’re going to show you how hard we expect next time. No more timid little pussy hits. We expect a beating…so take notes.”
I couldn’t breathe.
Days? I’ve been doing this for days?
Ryan mumbled something in Spanish, hoisting the baton in his hand and slapping it against this palm. “Ready to see a pro at work?”
He gave me no preparation; he attacked.
I sucked in a breath as he hit me hard in the stomach.
I doubled over, almost falling off the plastic chair. The shackles around my wrists were the only thing keeping me upright.
Pain resonated like a marching band in my tummy, but I welcomed it. This might be the end. They might kill me.
Please kill me.
The next blow was to my thigh, cracking so loud I was sure my leg was broken. I welcomed the pain, adding it to all the rest. Compounding it until my heart raced and pumped, hurtling me closer to blacking out.
Someone hit me around the ear.
Then punched my breast.
A kick landed on my ankle.
A fist connected with my cheekbone.
They hurt me beyond hurt—they catapulted me into agony, but they never went too far. They restrained from killing me.
Each punishment hurt more than the last and I sobbed freely in my bindings. Every part of me wept for freedom.
I can’t do this anymore. I want out. I want to die.
Finally, something sharp pricked my skin, and another dose of medicine sent me cartwheeling into nightmares.
Chapter Eleven
Quincy
You call me maître but I am the esclave—slave to inflict the pain I crave…
Time was my enemy.
I wanted to shatter every clock, dismantle every tick. Every second was a ceaseless moment that I let Tess down, every minute an eternity in missing her.
I ran only on hatred and the undying need to find her. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Everything I did felt like a betrayal.
Every day that went past, my temper frayed further until I lost sight of the cool businessman who owned the world and morphed closer to the beast I truly was.
No one wanted to be around me. I swore and yelled and raged. Every day, I dropped a little further into hell, and I didn’t care. I welcomed the numbness, the emptiness, because I deserved it.
I’m not good enough.
I wasn’t even strong enough to hunt the woman I loved.
I’m a fucking loser who deserves to be alone.
I wanted to gut the Wolverine and read his intestines like tarot cards. He had answers but I’d been too stupid to make him talk. I was too hasty, and now he was fucking dead along with the chance of ever finding Tess.
I slouched and poked at the wound in my arm. The dull pain wasn’t enough. I deserved more. I deserved to be electrocuted, to be mauled by rabid tigers. I deserved every horrible way a man could die. I deserved to be put down for failing my esclave.
My fingers plucked at the stitches. Some lucky pre-med student got a free flight in a G650 to patch me up on our way out of Moscow. We’d managed to get out before word had spread, but I had no doubt a bounty hung around my neck from more than one trafficking bastard now.
Sitting at some desk, in some office, in some city, in some country, I hung my head and wrapped my fingers around my skull. I squeezed, digging harder and harder, inflicting pain, inviting a migraine. I wanted to crack open my brain and stop all the emotional pain.
Some moments I couldn’t breathe with the thought of what was happening to Tess. I wanted to suffocate all thoughts of her from my head until I no longer had to endure such agony.
But on the heels of such self-pity and loneliness, came furious anger. Livid hot temper that she left me. I hated that she made me care. I cursed her for the way she turned me into this tangled, twisted creature and then disappeared.
Six days passed.
Then a week and a half.
Twenty-four hour blocks all stacked on top of one another creating an unmovable mountain, barricading me from ever finding the one person I ever cared for. Time obstructed me from finding my fucking other half.
I would live alone. I would die alone. I would exist in the netherworld all fucking alone because Tess had been stolen and I was too worthless to save her.
Fuck. Where the hell are you, Tess?
“We just had a tip-off. We’re flying to Singapore in an hour,” Frederick said from the doorway.
I looked up, still clutching my head.
I couldn’t even remember what country we were in. We’d been everywhere. Russia, Spain, Saudi Arabia, Thailand. Following whispers of rumours. Hints that someone knew someone who knew where Tess had been taken.
It’d been a fucking rabbit chase. All lies. All of them hiding the truth.
The truth would be found only by finding the source. Not bribing underworld contacts, or threatening to turn their precious names into local authorities. I had power, but it didn’t mean shit when no one knew a thing.
Goddammit. You’re a fucking imbecile, Mercer! The truth can only be found at the source! Why didn’t I see it?
It was as if someone wrenched back the curtains, inviting piercing sun to chase away the gloom of a disused room.
I stood up so fast the chair fell back and clattered against the tiles. I remembered now. This office belonged to Lee Choi. A man I’d built two casinos for in Macau in return for four slaves. Hong Kong was sleek and money-shiny, but beneath the surface—just like every cosmopolitan city—lurked the dangerously sick and twisted world.
Lee Choi no longer ran that world.
/>
Lee now rotted in a foetus position stuffed in his closet.
“I don’t care about a tip,” I snarled. “I know where we need to go.”
Frederick frowned, coming closer. “Q, when was the last time you slept? You need to eat. You’re gaunt. You can’t live on revenge and bullet casings.”
The urge to hit him rose, but I swallowed it back. “No more leads. They’re useless.”
He shook his head. “One of Choi’s underlings gave up a name of a man who has a harem in Singapore. He might know where Tess is.”
I rubbed my face, trying not to snap. “It’s a waste of time. He won’t have Tess. We need to go to the source.”
“The source?”
I moved fast, pushing past Frederick. No one in the usual circle would’ve bought Tess. Gerald wouldn’t have sold her to be used so…kindly. He was out for blood. Where was the payback if she was sent to a sick fuck, but someone who would ultimately keep her alive? No, he’d send her to someone who would ruin her. Break her. Someone who would stand to earn just rewards for destroying her.
Fuck. Why didn’t I think of it before?
It felt right. My gut knew I was on the right path.
“Pack up. We’re flying to Mexico.”
* * *
Four days.
Four long fucking days we’d patrolled the sin-stained world of Mexico. Hunting drug dealers and spineless thieves, we lurked in dives and sniffed around illegal enterprises. No matter how many men Franco tortured, or how many palms I greased, no information was forthcoming.
No one knew who kidnapped a blonde girl on a scooter four months ago.
“Eat this, boss.” Franco skidded a plate of noodles under my nose, obscuring the map of the slums of Mexico I’d been studying for the past three hours.
Tess could be anywhere in this filthy city, and I might walk right past whatever building she was imprisoned in and never know.
As much as I was starving, the thought of eating, of surviving, when Tess might not even be alive, ate at my soul.
I ignored him, shoving the plate away.
Franco clasped my shoulder as Frederick came over from the bar with three mugs of icy beer. “You need your strength. For her. Your brain will work better with fuel.”
Frederick sloshed the beer onto my map, taking a seat.
I glowered, swiping my hand over the paper before the liquid could ruin it.
Frederick nodded. “I agree. Eat and recharge. You’re no good to her if you’re passed out from hunger.”
The animal inside didn’t need such petty things like nutrition. It only needed blood. But you’re not a fucking superhuman, so eat up.
Sighing hard, I tried to return to the land of men and sat taller. Acknowledging they had a point, I dug into the noodles and forced myself to swallow. I was a world traveller. I’d lived in cities around the globe, but the man I was at heart was French, and I missed Mrs. Sucre’s duck and homemade baguettes. I missed simple perfection. I missed my regimented life. I missed Tess with every fucking part of me.
Half-way through my meal, I gave up and growled, “There has to be some other way.”
I slouched, scowling at the droplets of condensation on the beer mug. Frederick mumbled something around his mouthful of food and Franco cocked an eyebrow. “Like what? We’ve tried bribing men we know in the sex trade, we’ve tried beating it out of others. We’ve argued, we’ve threatened, we’ve pleased. Either no one knows who took her, or they’re too terrified to say.”
I rubbed my chin, letting my brain race for clues, answers, conclusions that might work better than our current methods.
“All Mexicans are linked somehow. I read that the city is one of the friendliest on earth,” Frederick said, wiping his mouth and swigging some beer.
Yeah, apart from the raping trafficking bastards.
“It’s said that it’s a matter of pride to have the largest family possible. I’m talking cousins upon cousins upon cousins. You need to go for a—”
“Cousin.” I bolted upright, smiling for the first time in fourteen days at Frederick. “T’es un putain de génie.” You’re a fucking genius.
Franco stood, glancing around the crowded, dirty bar, making sure my abrupt standing didn’t attract unwanted attention. My muscles were rock-hard at the thought of a bar fight. I craved to use my fists, to pull out the knife and lose myself in anger.
Once he deemed the coast clear, Franco said, “Care to share?”
No, I didn’t care to share as that would be a waste of fucking time.
Instead of answering, I strode right to the bar and jumped on top. Men nursing their beers looked up with their mouths hanging open, their hands guarding their precious alcohol.
“What the hell are you doing up there?” the barkeep asked.
I threw a hundred euro bill at him. “Turn the music down.”
The barkeep grumbled, but shoved the bill into his dirty apron and reached down behind the counter to mute the volume. In the sudden silence people stopped mid-sentence. All eyes trained on me, and I waited until complete silence reigned.
The moment I had everyone’s attention, I said clearly, “I will pay anyone who has knowledge of a band of men who kidnapped women in the downtown area four months ago. They targeted women from a café and may have had other operations around town.”
My hands curled and I willed myself to continue in a calm voice. “I’ll pay thirty thousand euros to anyone who can give me a name. Totally anonymous. I don’t need to know anything about you. Provide information, and the money is yours.”
Giving incentive, I pulled out a couple hundred euros from my blazer pocket and fanned it out in my hand. “In gratitude for your attention, your dinners and drinks are on me.”
Franco appeared by my feet, looking up with tense awareness. His eyes scanned the room while his hand hovered over his chest holster, ready to pull his gun free in a second. “Time to get down. You’re a sitting duck up there.”
I nodded, saying to the crowd, “I’m sitting at the back. Come find me if you have a name.” I jumped off the bar.
Franco’s eyes bugged out of his head. “What the hell. You were a perfect target up there. Anyone could’ve popped you.”
I brushed my suit and handed the money to the barkeep, whose eyes lit up like a fucking firework. “That’s for everyone’s tabs for tonight, understand?”
He nodded. I doubted he would be trustworthy, but I really didn’t care.
“Someone will squeal, Franco. They always do when money is involved.”
“What if they just kill you expecting to find more than thirty G in your pockets?”
I smirked, brushing past him to go and sit down. “That’s what you’re here for. To keep me alive to do stupid shit like this.”
He huffed and the music increased to deafening decibels yet again.
I moved back to my seat and settled in for my prey to come to me.
* * *
Six hours later, the barkeep tried to kick us out.
No one ventured near our table, and there were only so many beers we could drink before our concentration faltered.
We paid off the barman to stay overnight. I didn’t want to move. In my mind, the nugget of information I needed was on the way to me, heralded by the allure of thirty thousand euros. I visualized the news being spread from mouth to mouth, making its way through ghettos and impressive neighbourhoods, passed cousin to cousin. Eventually someone would know. Eventually someone would come to me.
I refused to think otherwise.
By the time morning peeked through the filthy windows, my ass was flat from sitting and my back screamed bloody murder. But a new day had arrived.
The day I found Tess. The day I brought hell on earth to the men who thought they could steal what was mine.
Instead of being desolate and incompetent, I felt eager and on track. This is right. For the first time in days, I was one step closer to finding Tess and putting this entire hellish nightma
re behind us.
* * *
At ten in the morning, the kitchen staff arrived to prepare for the lunch crowd. By eleven, the doors opened and some early punters trickled in for some pub grub.
Considering I hadn’t slept a wink in over fifty hours, I revved with pent-up energy. My eyes never left the door, and every person that stepped through sent my heart racing.
This was it.
It would work.
Any second.
Any second turned into another fucking hour, and my heart went from racing to thick with fury. It had to work. It was the last chance.
What the hell would I do? Go home and live my life like Tess never existed? Pretend she hadn’t made me a better person or taught me how to be happy?
My mind turned inwards at what my future would mean. I would never go back. Never return home without Tess by my side. I would leave Q Mercer behind and—
“Shit, Q,” Frederick mumbled, his eyes glued behind me. “It fucking worked. I don’t believe it.”
I spun and came face to face with a dirty child who I guessed was about ten or eleven. The little girl had matted dreadlocks down to her waist, and her skin might’ve been clear and innocent but was covered in mud and a nasty scar on one cheek.
I didn’t know how she snuck in without me noticing, but I instantly knew. This was the girl who would lead me to Tess.
My hands twitched to grab and shake her, to demand to know what she knew. But I curled my fingers and kept them out of sight under the table.
It took every conceivable control in my body to smile gently and lean to her level. My voice was gruff and unused, but I kept my tone even. “Bonjour. Did you come to see me?”
She looked toward Franco, who brooded menace, and Frederick, who had a soft smile on his lips. All three of us hadn’t shaved in days, and our eyes were red rimmed and far too intense with grief and anxiety.
Poor kid would be petrified, but I didn’t have time to soothe her.
“We won’t hurt you. Tell us what you know, and I’ll make sure you and your family are looked after for a very long time.”
She bit her lip, shuffling with bare toes on the sticky beer-covered floor. “I know who you want. My mama used to clean over at the warehouse, before they moved, and I used to sneak in for food when the guards weren’t looking.”
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