When she quieted, I gathered her closer. Pushing my hand beneath her pillow, I tried to grab the item I’d hidden there a few days ago. When I’d designed the poker brands, I knew if Tess let me mark her with such a permanent thing, I would go one step further to seal her to me.
Ever since I made the decision, my headaches had been miraculously absent. Almost as if the stress I’d lived with melted away, letting me know I’d made the right choice. The only choice.
No longer would I wait to merge my life with hers. There was no way I would let her go, and it was time the rest of the world knew that.
Tess mumbled, eyes opening sleepily. “What are you doing?”
The soft twilight highlighted her grey-blue eyes, glimmering gold in her blonde hair. I wished I had a camera to capture her sleep-warmed and lazy beauty. She looked so fragile and I embraced two urges: one that wanted to see just how fragile she was with the use of a whip, and one who wanted to wrap her in bubble wrap and cover her with kisses.
My hand latched around the small thing hidden under the pillow and I sat up, pulling Tess with me.
The sheet fell away from her, exposing her perfect breasts and pink nipples. My cock instantly hardened. I had to look away before I pounced and forgot what I needed to do.
Tess yawned, fluffing her hair.
Nerves attacked my stomach, making me second-guess myself. You’re doing the right thing. Man the fuck up.
“I have another gift for you.”
Her eyes dropped to the tented sheet between my legs. Licking her lips, she murmured, “A second gift would be nice.”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “No, you little sex fiend, my cock is not on offer.”
She pouted, reaching over to grab me.
A slight thread of temper filled me and I slapped her hand away. Goddammit, she wasn’t making this easy.
I rolled the gift in my fingers, keeping it away from her sight. “I need you to wear this as much as I needed to brand you. Compris?” Understand?
She frowned, but nodded slowly.
It’s now or never.
I unclenched my fist, shoving my hand toward her. Resting in my palm was a ring I’d painstakingly sketched and ordered the local jeweller to create.
It represented everything I was. Everything that we were. Everything that I hoped we’d become.
The same day I went to pick up the finished product, I bought a pair of lovebirds. The lucky things had the entire aviary to themselves, but I planned to add more as I returned to work, doing what I did best.
Tess shied away from the ring as if it was about to bite her. My forehead furrowed as I plucked it in my fingertips and inspected the jewellers work. He’d got it perfect: two spanning wings, bending into a circlet. Every feather hand-carved with exquisite detailing, inlaid with diamonds. The gold band was extra thick, to allow for—
“That’s for me?”
Her eyes glassed with tears, and I snatched her hand before she could go running from the room. Did she not want this? How could she not accept a ring when she let me burn my mark into her neck?
Anger sat low in my gut, churning with rejection.
Tess didn’t say a word as I splayed her hand, pushing the ring onto her wedding finger—the one that symbolised commitment and togetherness.
She fulfilled my humanness. I could never let her go.
A single tear dripped from her lashes as she held her hand closer to inspect the jewellery.
It’d taken a nightmare of events to bring us together. Our relationship wasn’t normal, our needs and lifestyle uniquely us, but after everything we’d been through, I wanted more. I never wanted to wake up without Tess by my side. I wanted her with me when I hunted down all the cocksuckers involved in trafficking and put them into the ground. And I wanted finally to have the courage to show her just what I needed to be completely happy.
With my heart bucking wild, I asked, “Veux-tu m'épouser?” Will you marry me?
Tess sucked in a gasp then launched herself into my arms. Her lips crashed against mine, sending us sprawling to the mattress.
I tasted salt from her happiness and passion from her tongue.
For the first time ever, I was complete, wondrously happy and achingly content.
“You don’t have to ask. My answer is already given.”
I smiled, cupping her jaw. “Now that I have it on your finger, I should tell you there’s a tracking device in there. I never mean to have you far from me again.”
She laughed. “Consider myself warned.” She kissed me again, but I pushed her back, sliding to the side of the bed.
She watched as I hoisted on jeans and held out my hand for her to take. “Get packed. We’re leaving.”
“Leaving?”
When she didn’t move, I grabbed her ankle and dragged her to the end of the bed, trapping her between my arms. Darkness and light and every fucking emotion bubbled inside me; I couldn’t wait another minute. “We’re going to get married.”
Tess’s eyes popped wide. “Now?”
“Now. There’s no point in waiting.”
I hoisted her into my arms. “I want our life to begin, Tess.”
Her lips landed on mine. “It has already begun.”
I kissed her back, making her swallow my words. “Your life is mine. My life is yours. I want it to be official.”
“It is official. You branded me.” She smiled, touching my cheek.
“It’s not official until I have you in a white dress, vowing to obey and serve me for the rest of your days.” I was only half joking. “I need to promise my life to you. I need you to be my wife.”
Tess nodded. “I want you as my husband, now and for always, ‘till death do us part.”
Playlist
*Songs for Quintessentially Q*
My personal favourites are Demons and Monster by Imagine Dragons.
Followed by reader suggestions:
Monster by Rihanna & Dr Dre
Move like a Sinner by What Now
Deep Inside by Third Eye Blind
Everlong by Foo Fighters
My Immortal by Evanescence
Do What You Want by Lady Gaga
Pictures of You by The Cure
Closer by Nine Inch Nails
Dark Horse by Katy Perry
Cold by Crossfade
Die for You by Megan McCauley
My Last Breath by Evanescence
Hurt by Nine Inch Nails
Forever by Fireflight
Moondust by Jaymes
Skyscraper by Demi Lavato
The poem verses used at the header of each chapter came courtesy of a fantastic author named Ker Dukey. She penned the poems after reading Tears of Tess and I asked to use them in this book. Here are the lyrics in their entirety.
Poem for Tess
by
Ker Dukey
I relish the snap, welcome the burn, don’t stop yet it’s still my turn.
Tighten your grip, make me bleed, it’s a hunger I need to feed.
I want it, I need it, I’ll beg you to feed it.
Tie me, tease me, let your pleasure please me. Hurt me, love me, but please don’t ever leave me.
Save me, enslave me, you will never cave me.
Taunt me, flaunt me, kill what haunts me.
Strip me bare, pull my hair, I don’t care just take me there.
I need that high, I need that pain, it’s the only thing that keeps me sane.
Don’t show mercy, don’t cut me loose, I need you to tighten that noose.
Tie me, tease me, let your pleasure please me. Hurt me, love me, but please don’t ever leave me.
Save me, enslave me, you will never cave me.
Taunt me, flaunt me, kill what haunts me.
Leave your mark, scar my skin, I will bow down to you my king.
Tied to a rack or down on my knees, it’s you my master I long to please. Own me, take me, you can never break me.
Choose me, use me, you will never lose
me.
Poem for Q
by
Ker Dukey
I ache to see your flesh bleed, scream for me, give me what I need
Let the rivers run, the monster inside has won
Naked and restrained, this darkness cannot be contained
You, my esclave have been claimed
You’re my obsession, I’m your possession
You own the deepest part of me
You crawled into the darkness, set my monster free
So scream, bleed, call out to me
But never say stop, never flee
I long to see your creamy skin blush
Welted and marked gives me a rush
I can’t contain him, you set me free
This isn’t a role I play, the monster is me
You call me Maître but I am the esclave
Slave to inflict the pain I crave
You’re my obsession, I’m your possession
You own the deepest part of me
You crawled into the darkness, set my monster free
So scream, bleed, call out to me
But never say stop, never flee
Whimper and moan while I sit on my throne
We can be monsters together so we’re never alone
You’re my esclave, my soul mate
Each other we own
You’re mine forever, my bird flew home
To read more of Ker Dukey’s work please find her on Goodreads.
Twisted Together
For all the believers in Happily Ever After
Prologue
The blackness tried to swallow us whole, kill us, ruin us, capture our soul
“I’m not marrying you for the pleasure of calling you my wife, esclave. I’m not marrying you because it’s the evolution of a relationship. I’m marrying you so I have claim on you forever. Your soul will be mine for eternity. In sickness and in health, in life and in death, you will belong to me. And I will belong to you.”
Q brought me closer, whispering his passion into my mouth. “Don’t think this is a contract between two people in love. Don’t think this legal document is something flimsy and insignificant. By marrying me, you’re taking all of me. Everything that I am. All that I will be. You’re accepting my lightness, my darkness, my fucking eternal spirit. By signing your name to mine you are no longer Tess Snow.”
“What am I?” I murmured, accepting his feather-soft kiss.
“You’re Tess Mercer. Now and for always. Forever and ever. It’s done.”
Chapter One
Tess
But our demons didn’t play well with others, the beast broke free to make them suffer
“Do it, puta. Kill her.”
“No! Stop this. I’m done. No more—”
“Yes, more. Every night, you’re ours. Every time your pretty fucking eyes close, we’re waiting. Every time you succumb to sleep, we’re waiting to drag you into insanity.”
It’s not real. It’s not real.
No matter how many times I screamed the truth, the dream would never free me. Leather Jacket somehow tricked my mind into leaving the sanctity of Q’s presence, yanking me into the depths of despair.
“Please don’t hurt me,” Blonde Angel moaned.
I didn’t want to. I never wanted to hurt another living thing again.
“Don’t think about disobeying, puta. You know what happens.” Leather Jacket flickered into two monstrosities: one moment the man I knew—the man who’d tortured, hit, and taunted me—then another moment, the drooling carnivorous Jackal who’d raped Blonde Angel only minutes before Q found me.
The smog, the fog, crept over my mind, swarming around me with sickly warmth. “No! Not that.” I never wanted to be held hostage by chemicals again. Drugs made me forget. Drugs made me become them.
“Do it, precious. Otherwise I’ll do something worse,” Leather Jacket cooed.
My heart sank into the depths of my soul. Every night they visited. Every night they shattered my healing, throwing me back to a past I couldn’t forget. Every night they reminded me that pain was atrocious. Pain was the devil. Pain was horrendous and terrible and cruel.
Pain.
My nemesis.
My burden.
I shook my head, standing over Blonde Angel. Our eyes met—just like hundreds of times before—and I wordlessly shouted my grief, my sadness, my lifetime of apologies.
But it made no difference.
Just like the drugs made me incapacitated in Rio, the dream had power over me in the present. I wouldn’t be free until I gave into the inevitable. I wouldn’t wake until I killed her.
A heavy crowbar rested in my sweat-slippery hands. I tried to scuttle backward but some ominous force pressed against my shoulders. The phantom pressure raised my arms against my will—stealing all motor control, leaving me screaming until my throat rivered with blood and rawness.
Mildew and reeking rubbish clouded my nostrils even though I knew it wasn’t real. The only scent I should inhale was the comforting notes of citrus and sandalwood of my master sleeping beside me.
The master who swore to protect me from everything. The master who failed every night. How could a man fight nightmares? How could he slay men he’d already killed from taunting my mind in slumber?
Simple. He couldn’t.
Every night was the same. Q fought to save me from demons he couldn’t fight, and I fought to stop dreaming.
Once the nightmare claimed me, I couldn’t get free until the horrible conclusion. It happened differently every time. Sometimes by bullet. Sometimes by axe or blade. But no matter how I did it, committing murder was the only way to hurtle me back to consciousness.
If I concentrated hard enough I could feel him. If I squeezed my eyes and searched for the tether to my mortal body, I knew I wasn’t lying quietly and serene. My body was sweat-dewed and thrashing in tangled sheets; my cheek smarting from a stinging slap as Q tried to rouse me.
More pain.
Pain on top of pain.
It all had to stop, before I went mad.
“Little girl, I won’t ask again,” Leather Jacket sneered.
The crowbar was no longer heavy in my hands; the unseen malicious entity arched my back, swinging the weapon, high and deadly.
No. No, no, no. Not again.
Close your eyes. Don’t look. Don’t fill your mind with yet more killing.
Blonde Angel crawled backward, cradling her already broken wrist and knee. Her mouth twisted into pleas. “Don’t. Please don’t. Haven’t you done enough? You killed her! You killed the other girl. Do you have no mercy?” Her eyes were wild, green and clear as cut glass. Her blonde hair no longer shone like gold but hung in bloody clumps.
“I’m sorry!”
My heart-filled apology only made her snarl. “No, you’re not. You’re one of them. You’re lying to yourself, to him, to me. You loved killing the other blonde so much, you thirst to murder. You’re a monster. A fucking demon spawn.”
My lungs suffocated with her hatred, drowning in sorrow. The crowbar swung above my head, controlled by the puppeteer of this horrible dream.
“That’s it, pretty girl. Do it. What’s another life? You obeyed so brilliantly before. Every night you fucking murder. Every night you come back to us.”
The man who’d owned me. Who’d drugged me, sold me, and ultimately broken me, appeared from dream-mist. White Man looked suave and immaculate in a white shiny suit. His feral touch landed on my chin, cupping my jaw, holding me prisoner. “You’ll never be free of us. We took your mind back in Brazil. Your bastard of an owner might’ve slaughtered my men and whisked you away to safety, but you know the truth.” His mouth descended on mine, his monstrous tongue diving past my lips, making me retch.
Breathing hard he pulled away. Manic anger glowed in his blue gaze. “Tell me the truth.”
The truth?
What truth? I didn’t know what to believe anymore. Was my mind so twisted the truth was only visible in
my sleep? Was I deceitful every moment I was awake—pretending to deplore pain and horror when really I craved it? Craved to inflict it. Craved to kill.
Questions and uncertainty sprouted like vile weeds, growing thick and fast, suffocating all reason and clarity.
Am I truly what they say? I’m no longer a protégé. I’m truly the devil.
I squeezed my eyes, blocking the dream, grasping with panicked fingers to latch onto the weak tethering of awareness.
Wake up, Tess.
Please.
“Tell. Me.” White Man’s breath fanned my eyelashes, smelling of candy floss. Why did the demon of my nightmares smell of innocence and sugar?
Shaking my head, I whimpered, “There’s nothing to tell.” My arms stayed raised above my head, holding the crowbar in an unnatural pose. I had no control. None.
“Oh, but there is.” His white slacks whispered as he stepped to the side, dragging me forward.
Blonde Angel shook so much, my ears rang with the jangling of her bones. “Night after night you return to me. Night after night you kill for me. You’re not free, pretty girl. And that’s the fucking truth.”
Leather Jacket moved to my other side, grinning like a psychopath. “Truth’s a bitch and then she dies. You know how this ends, puta. Do it, then we’ll let you wake up.”
A gale whirled from nowhere, kicking up dust and mould from around the dungeon, howling in my ears: Do it. Do it. Do it.
“No! Not again. I can’t do it again.”
I’m crazy. I’ve lost it completely.
Blonde Angel stopped shaking and raised her head. Our eyes locked, understanding flowed. Mutual need to have this over with made her nod in heart-wrenching acceptance. In one fluid moment, she bowed forward. She didn’t say a word—she didn’t need to.
We could beg and cry and scream.
But ultimately, we had no power.
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