Her body moved like water, slinking and rising from the pool of bedding to stand before me. Fuck, she was stunning. And mine. All mine.
I locked my muscles to stop myself from reaching for her as she came to stand before me. Every moment echoed with strength then shyness. Rebellion then obedience. Her entire demeanour played havoc with my head.
One moment I saw the woman I fell for, the next all I saw was prey. Prey I wanted to molest and break and bend to whatever sick fantasy I desired.
My jaw locked as she raised her chin, looking me in the eye. I wanted her to bow to me. To serve. To let me do whatever I damn well pleased.
Everything inside—everything I’d been missing—sprang back to life. My soul that’d been scarred and tattered thanks to Tess’s abduction slithered away, leaving me angry. So fucking angry.
The anger started as a burn in my heart—a spark with a flash of gasoline, erupting into a flame, igniting my blood until my entire body set alight with furious need.
I needed to take Tess ruthlessly and painfully. I needed to remember who I truly was at heart. She might have let me brand her and accept my callous ways, but I’d held back. All my life I’d held back.
And every time I did, it layered more darkness in my gut. Building into something manic. Tess had let me use her, but it was nothing, nothing, compared to what I wanted now.
“Je suis désolé.” I’m sorry.
Her lips parted, her skin whitening.
My arms banded around her—picking her up in a vice. “I’m not done with you, mon coeur.” My heart.
My mouth stole hers; my legs almost buckled at the fresh taste of her shower, cloaking the muskiness of spent desire.
Her lips went slack, allowing my tongue to dip inside her mouth. I groaned as she kissed me back. Her hands left the ramrod position by her sides, coming to rest on my hips. Her fingernails scratched my skin, dragging me forward until my lips bruised hers in a searing kiss.
“Q—please—”
Her beg wobbled with passion…no, wait—
My heart squeezed in panic.
It can’t be. It couldn’t happen.
I pulled back, glaring. I searched for some sign—some hint she wasn’t coping. Her blue-grey eyes stared back. For the first time since I’d met her, I couldn’t sense what riotous emotions she kept hidden.
Did she mean what she said? Or was that a lie, too?
She was unreadable.
The panic morphed to rage; I dragged her against me. My lips latched onto hers, kissing her hard. I tried to break her perfect façade. I wanted to crawl down her fucking throat and steal her heart and soul forever, so I’d always know her innermost hellions.
The monster inside—the one who lay dormant for weeks—came roaring back to life.
Control.
Smash her. Test her. Force her to give you her fears.
The sickly entice slithered in my blood, whispering of blackness and violence.
She won’t tell you unless you make her.
Wasn’t it my right to know everything about her? I had blood on my hands for her—the least she could do was talk to me—let me inside her soul.
It is your right. Just like her screams and pain are yours.
I shook my head, dispelling the rapidly building darkness. I never listened to the monster—why was I granting it power now?
Because you can’t help what you want. Take it. Stop fighting.
Shit, I was losing control.
I shouldn’t have let myself get so wound up. I should’ve taken my time before, drawing out the moment, giving me the chance to keep the infernal beast wrapped in chains where it belonged.
Tess kept something hidden—I sensed it on a carnal level. I didn’t know what’d changed but it called to me—twisting me inside out until I slipped further away from right and into wrong.
Something was different. Something I couldn’t see or hear or touch, but it drove me insane.
My fingers crept up, latching around Tess’s throat. Her muscles worked hard as she swallowed. Her eyes were empty orbs—empty of fear or lust or love.
I fucking hated it.
“What have you done?” I ran my nose down her cheek, inhaling the scent of expensive hotel soap. Maybe I could smell the truth. Maybe then I might find out what she was hiding.
She squeaked as I spun her around, backing her into the lounge. Every step she took, the urge to give myself over grew stronger. It’d never been this bad before. This insistent.
Her fingers locked around my wrist, holding on while her feet moved backward. “Q…”
“Tell me, Tess. Tell me what you did.” Tell me how I ruined you. Because I had. There was no other reason for the way she shut me out. “Tell me why I’m feeding off something you’re projecting? What is it? What did you do?” I shook her, hating and loving the spike of emotion in her eyes. It was neither fear nor lust.
It scrambled my thoughts, confusing the shit out of me.
The chaise lounge in the centre of the room halted our journey, pressing against Tess’s legs. She jerked to a halt, still holding onto my wrist. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I glared into her eyes—dying to see what she hid, dreading it at the same time. “You’re lying—but I don’t know why.” Shaking my head, I tried to grab hold of sanity.
The monster inside urged me to string her up and whip the words free from her mouth. She needed to be taught that keeping things from her master was not fucking allowed. Lying was the worst treason of all.
But then the voice of reason smashed my limbs.
You’ll never forgive yourself for doing this against her will.
But that was the kicker. I couldn’t tell if this was against her will or if she wanted it as much as I did.
Tess’s pulse hammered beneath my grip; her skin turned cool as winter. For the first time in my sorry existence, I couldn’t control the bastardly desires roaring in my blood.
Giving her one last chance to stop this, I whispered, “Tell me to stop. Tell me what you’re not letting me see.” My eyes dropped down her naked body, searching for clues of horror or lust. She was blank in both nuances and speech. “Do you want me to hurt you, esclave? Do you want me to fill you with my cock and grant you pain while you come?”
Something darted in her gaze, then was gone. A snake in the grasses of fucking temptation.
Tess dropped her hold on my wrist, stroking my cheek. Her gentle caress jolted me, granting me a lifeline in the sea of black.
I loved her.
I adored her.
I didn’t want to hurt her.
“You never have to ask. I’m yours. I want what you want. I want whatever you give me.” Her soothing voice twisted my brain.
See she wants this, too. You’ve nothing to worry about. Take her. Stop holding back.
Relief and excitement shoved away the hesitation and uncertainty. My fingers tightened, cutting off her air. Her eyes flared but displayed no other sign of alarm.
Don’t. Pull away. Something isn’t right.
That voice. The words of wisdom I always listened to.
Too bad it faded with every heartbeat.
Pressing my lips against hers, I never looked away from her blue-grey depths. She stood so regal, not slouching or trembling when I released my grip. “Are you telling me the truth?”
Tess never spoke to me in French, but she whispered, “Je comprends. C'est bon.” Yes. It’s okay.
Her touch threaded through my hair, cupping the back of my skull. Her nails sank into my scalp, causing me to break out in shivers. The sharp thrill reminded me all too well of being strapped to the bed and at her fucking mercy.
She’d torn me apart.
She’d flayed me alive.
She’d made me weak.
The beast inside growled; I trembled, trying to keep the cage locked and secure.
“Take your hands off me, Tess,” I said, low and curt. Gritting my teeth, I fought against the vio
lent craving. The one screaming of retribution. I wanted payback. Strike for strike. Lash for lash.
Tess stiffened, dropping her arms.
The sane part of my brain—the part unshadowed by monsters—fought to understand what had changed. Something about her drew everything evil to the surface. She called to this awful part of me.
Squeezing my eyes, I hissed, “I need you to stop.”
Stop so I don’t hurt you. I don’t want to fucking hurt you.
Yes, you do.
“There’s nothing to stop,” she murmured. “I want this. I want you.”
“Stop!” I roared, shaking her. My fingers burned to choke. Unable to stand touching her, I shoved her away. She fell onto the chaise, her breasts bouncing with the force of her fall.
I spun away, clutching my head. Get out. Get out!
I had to get control. I had to find a way to protect her. None of this was right.
Then why does she give you permission?
I opened my eyes, hoping to see the strong unsullied woman I’d fallen so madly for. I needed to see her strength. But all I saw was a shell. A vacant shell.
Fuck!
I took a step back, cursing when something sharp poked my sole. I looked down and my stomach hollowed out.
My belt.
Hit her. Strike her. Turn her white skin red.
Breathing hard, I stared right into Tess’s flushed face. Where was my esclave? The equal measure of fuckedupness I’d come to rely on was gone—twisted into something entirely different that I couldn’t understand.
Her fire had been replaced by acceptance and resilience. Her eyes didn’t taunt me to hurt her, or glimmer with lust. She stood, waiting like a perfect fucking slave.
Goddammit!
My anger went from simmering to explosive; I lost another part of my soul.
Her panting chest drew my attention; my eyes devoured her naked flesh. “I can’t stop it. Whatever you’re doing—it’s making it worse. Ten times worse. A thousand times worse.” The roaring grew louder, tearing my brain apart with the need to give in. “Tess—you’re…” You’re not safe. Run!
Her entire body flushed with fear before being hidden by submission. Her back straightened. Her eyes screamed some silent message while her mouth devastated my remaining self-control.
“Do it. Please, Q. You need to. I see how much you need to.”
I wrenched my hair. Tell the truth. Stand up to me.
Only she could stop this. Only she could put me back on the leash I desperately needed.
“I’ll hurt you. Do you understand that?” I could barely speak through clenched teeth.
Silence.
Tell me no. Be brave.
She bowed her head. “Yes.”
I shook my head, disbelieving. “I’ll draw blood. Do you want that?”
Her shoulders rolled. “I understand.”
“I’ll make you fucking scream. You can’t mean it.”
Her body hunched. “I do. I do mean it.”
The beast roared, and I had nothing left. No sanity, no strength. She’d given me absolute control while presenting her fear and acceptance in front of a man who’d fought against his baser desires all his life.
This was why I ran from weak women.
This was why I never let myself go near a slave who’d been used to the point of graceful compliance.
Because I wasn’t fucking strong enough to say no. I wouldn’t hold back—not now.
The leash snapped free. The cage flung wide.
I snatched the belt off the floor.
Breathing harder than I ever had before, I slammed down on the chaise beside Tess and yanked her over my lap.
The rapid pace of her chest rose and fell; her clammy skin stuck to my thighs as panic sprang from her pores. I’d crossed the threshold of no turning back.
Tess wiggled, but I held her down.
“Q…Q, wait.” Her voice rose an octave, filling with terror.
Before, it would’ve been enough to cut through the dense black fog I existed in, reining me back.
But not now.
Now it fucking fed me.
Having her splayed, so vulnerable over my legs, set free every diabolical demon inside. I would hit her. I would fuck her. And I wouldn’t stop until I tasted her blood.
Bending over, I hissed in her ear, “You’re going to writhe for me. You’re going to scream.”
She swallowed a sob, dropping her head. Her entire body went boneless over my thighs. Yanking her hair free from the tie, I fanned out her blonde curls, stroking her back with trembling fingers.
My cock throbbed in time with my heart. I could’ve come just by rubbing against her prone body.
I flinched as Tess wrapped her arms around my calves, anchoring herself to me. Her body wracked with shudders, but she didn’t make a sound.
Pressing her shoulder blades with one hand, keeping her in place, I folded the belt in half with the aid of the chaise. Grabbing the buckle, I ran my fingers from her shoulder blades, down her spine, to stroke her ass.
So white. So pristine.
My vision was all greys and blacks. Colour no longer existed in my world. I’d embraced everything I deplored—there was no leaving until I’d sated what needed to be sated.
Not only did I want to physically abuse her, I wanted to mentally ruin her, too.
If I were sane, I would’ve told myself I was a sick fuck and to end this madness before it was too late.
But how could a monster be sane? A monster did what he wanted. A monster took what was given.
“Do you love me, Tess?” My voice was black, heavily accented with a language that was meant for romance not bloodshed.
She nodded without hesitation.
I ran my finger down the centre of her ass, deliberately taunting her with softness. “Do you want this as much as me?”
Again another nod instantly.
“Do you want me to stop?”
She shook her head.
Such a perfect slave. Such a perfectly well-trained slave.
With a palm, I stroked her gently, loving the twitch of her hips. Her hair hung around her face, obscuring her features. Her mind might not be mine, but her body was.
Mine to paint with violence.
I slid two fingers between her legs. She stiffened as I found her folds. I angled my hand to penetrate her but her thighs snapped tight, blocking my right as her master to touch her.
A headache thundered into being—gathering tight and painful behind my eyes. How dare she deny me!
“Tu payeras pour ça.” You’ll fucking pay for that.
Raising my hand, the sun glinted off the buckle as the belt came down fast. The first slap of leather made my vision sputter and fade. The headache morphed into a mind-splitting migraine—my last defence against the beast inside.
Headaches were the bane of my life—but also my salvation.
Stop!
My eyes focused on the red lash across Tess’s ass—there was no chance of stopping.
I was too far gone.
Another strike and my cock jerked with delirium. This was what was missing in my life. This deliciousness. This supremacy. I’d never hit so hard. Only two strikes and already blood blisters formed.
Tess’s fingernails dug into my calf, but she didn’t make a sound. Her entire body locked into place, feeling like she’d transformed into a diamond rather than blood and bone.
I hit her again.
This time across the top of her ass. My mouth filled with eagerness to lick at the tiny crimson droplet welling from the strike. Her white skin turned into a criss-cross of pink and red.
With a fingertip, I rubbed the blood across her flesh in a smear of rust.
Tess whimpered.
Her whimper did two things to me—shattered my black-riddled heart and hurtled me faster into hell.
My headache latched onto my nervous system making me hot and jittery and sick. I wanted to throw up.
Stop!
The monster had grown from whisperer to commander. I had no way of halting. Hitting her wasn’t enough. I needed to mark her everywhere. Her ass had been claimed. It was time for other places.
Tossing the belt away, I pushed her off my legs onto the carpet. She landed on all fours, her breathing ragged, face mottled with emotion. She refused to meet my eyes. Her lips were parted, panting hard, matching my out of breath breathing.
Stalking to the side table where a red candle rested, I scooped up the lighter beside it and lit the wick. The flame burned bright, hurting the backs of my eyes.
Carrying my prize back to the chaise, Tess’s gaze locked onto the flickering fire. Tears gushed down her cheeks, tracking over her white skin in a river of grief.
I wanted sympathy, horror—some emotion that reminded me of my humanness. But I’d lost it the moment Tess gave me permission to cave. Nothing else mattered than doing what I wanted. And I wanted to burn her.
Grabbing her wrist, I plucked her upright, dragging her to the small table at the back of the couch.
“Q—please…don’t.”
I laughed, placing the candle on the edge of the wood. Picking her up, I laid her onto the piece of furniture. She winced as her flayed ass stuck to the varnish.
Pressing her sternum until she lay flat, I said, “You had the choice to say no.” Taking the candle, I smiled at the small puddle of melted wax. “You no longer have that choice.”
Holding her down with one hand, I poured a little of the wax directly onto the swell of her right breast.
She screamed, her fists clenching at the onslaught of heat. The liquid quickly hardened to solid. The slash of red looked like blood.
My cock fucking begged to climb inside her. I needed to come. Hard. I needed to sink down as far as I could until she knew just who owned her.
Stop!
My cock fucking wept. It was the monster. That piece of meat was the driving force of this whole nightmare.
Tipping the candle again, I let it splash over her left breast, licking my lips at her gasp of pain, the flash of terror in her eyes.
“God, I’m hard. So fucking hard hurting you.”
Tess turned her face away, tears flowing in a steady, uninterrupted stream. I leaned over her, licking at the delicious salt. I poured another dollop of wax right between her breasts, a large seal of blood-red fire.
Monsters in the Dark Page 78
