Confusion collared the beast and I blinked. Holy shit, I’d been so close. She didn’t see me. She didn’t know it was me. And I refused to take her when she was so far out of my reach—so removed from the truth.
Her hand squeezed my cock, deliberately hurting. But I was beyond pain now. I wanted pain. I wanted her to punish me, so I could come so fucking violently I’d pass out. My vision went black.
Not yet. You’re so close. Get it together.
Somehow, I did the hardest thing in my life.
Dropping her, I kicked her away, almost doubling over with the need lacerating my blood.
“I told you. Don’t fucking touch me.” I had to finish this. Now.
Even sprawled on cold tiles, lost in a sea of darkness, Tess glowed like a cosmos or brand new galaxy. She looked fresh and completely unbroken. She licked her lips, saying in the coldest, strongest voice I’d ever heard. “You know what I just realized? I’m not scared of you anymore. So fuck off and leave me alone.”
She’s close. So close.
Happiness and joy spread from my heart, battling back the monsters inside. Just a little more.
I cursed my shuddering body as I loomed over her. “Not fucking scared, huh? Then what are you still doing here? Give me what I want, and I’ll let you go.”
Ask what I want. Please fucking ask what I want. Then I wouldn’t suffer guilt when I raped her. I’d be free to do whatever the hell I pleased.
Her eyes went from grey to star-bright.
Fierce awe shot into my heart.
“I want my freedom.”
Yes. I’d done it. She’d demanded it. She’d claimed it. I backed away, fumbling for the door handle to run.
But then her fierceness fizzled; a small cry crawled from her mouth. “No wait! I’m sorry. You’ve always wanted to fuck me. Do it. A trade. Then I’ll know I owe you nothing. Do it and leave me in peace.” She sucked in a breath, eyes glassy with tears. “Please, swear if I give you what you want, you’ll let me go. Promise you’ll never come for me again. Promise you won’t make me hurt any more women or sell me or ruin my life. Please!”
She crawled toward me, latching onto my trouser leg. “Please. You wanted me to beg? I’m begging. You told me I would one day. And it’s come true. I’m begging you to end this once and for all. I’m giving you what you want in return for freedom.”
She climbed my body. I knew I stood no fucking chance of saying no. I would ruin her all when she’d been so damn close.
Her tears rained, sobs taking over her voice. “Please. Promise me that this will be over. How many times do I have to pay?”
Her hands fumbled on my belt buckle. “Do it. Do it!” Tess cried, almost crazed with the thought of being free.
I groaned as she squeezed my length, dragging me forward by it like I was a plaything. Every place she touched scorched my willpower. I almost came on the spot at the thought of getting what I wanted so badly.
I wanted to fuck her like the criminal she thought I was. I wanted to hit her and bite her and use her with no remorse. I wanted blood and bruises and pleasure.
And I wanted Tess to scream. But I wanted her to scream my name. Not some fucking kidnapper’s.
The ultimate ownership of her pain and screams belonged to me—not them. And I wouldn’t, wouldn’t, let her take that from me.
With a howl, I knocked her hands away from my cock and threw her over my shoulder.
Her softness and tiny fists pounding my back twinged the last remaining thread of my self-control. I had just enough to do what I had to. Just enough to end this. For good.
I dumped her into the overflowing bath.
Slamming to my knees, she had time to grab a breath before I grabbed her skull and shoved her underwater. The liquid crashed over her face, sucking her down like eager death.
Her scream broke the surface in forms of large frothy bubbles. Sound ricocheted as the noise left its bubble, escaping into the air.
Tess went wild. Her legs kicked, smashing into the soap dish and ornaments around the bath. Water sluiced everywhere, drenching my trousers and shoes. I held her down while my headache turned my vision to tunnel.
I held her down as my blood mixed with the water thanks to her sharp nails on my arms.
Every second I drowned her, I thrust my hips against the bath, bruising myself, deliberately bashing delicate flesh against hard fibreglass, trying to teach the beast in me a lesson.
This was the bastard I was. This asshole who drowned the woman he loved.
Ten seconds.
Tess was berserk, fighting with everything she had.
Fifteen seconds.
Her fight stuttered, succumbing to lack of oxygen.
My heart felt like it would explode and my brain disintegrate—I let her up.
I couldn’t catch my breath.
This was it. This was the moment where everything I’d done better work. If it didn’t, I had no other hope.
Such a short amount of time left. Come on, Tess! My hands clenched, hanging onto my last shred of discipline. The last defence against the beast from fucking her senseless.
Scrambling to my feet, I backed away. Grabbing the last item I needed from my pocket, I kicked off my drenched shoes and trousers. Standing in black boxer-briefs with my cock standing so fucking stiff, I braced myself for what was to come.
Tess exploded out of the tub like a mermaid queen. Her skin was white, blonde hair clinging to her breasts and shoulders in molten gold. Her chest rose and fell as she went from drowning to surviving. Everything about her said fighter.
But it was her eyes I latched onto.
They were otherworldly. So fucking manic.
“You bastard!” She flew at me.
I backed up, crashing against the wall. She slapped me, kicked me, pummelled every inch. Every strike made me want to grab her hair and force her to her knees. I needed to be inside her. I needed to release this overbearing burden inside but I locked my hands behind my back, holding tight to the final key. I shut down my thoughts, my needs—I let her do whatever she wanted.
I let her pour everything from her soul into mine. I would bear it all for her. I would make her whole by sharing her pain.
“You deserve nothing! Nothing. You fucking bastard. You deserve to die.”
Yes, Tess. Go on.
Take her. What about what you want? She owes you. Do it!
I shook my head, dispelling the thoughts before they could swallow me.
“I’m taking my freedom. I’m not asking. I’m not begging. I’ll never beg again in my life.”
My heart raced and soared.
Come on. More!
Everything I’d hoped would happen, came true. With every hit, Tess seemed to shed an outer layer. One tarnished with fear, uncertainty, and whatever foulness she’d lived with for so long. Everything she never let me see, all her lies, and secrets fell to the floor.
My cheek burned as she slapped me with all her strength. Standing before me was the woman I’d fallen madly fucking in love with.
I said goodbye to the slave I’d reclaimed in Rio and welcomed back the girl who claimed me when she returned from Australia.
The disease was gone—the festering over once and for all.
Everything disappeared. All the nightmares, the tears, the anger. All of it.
This woman was stronger than I could ever be. And I didn’t know how I fucking deserved her.
My hands unlocked, begging to touch. But I couldn’t. Not yet.
She had to say one more thing to be completely saved. I held my breath, waiting, waiting.
Finally, her face filled with unlimited courage; she smiled in disbelief. “I’m done with you. I’m done with all of this. I’m free.”
And there it was.
She’d taken it.
She’d taken her freedom with no begging or trading or cajoling. She’d done what I’d hoped.
Simplicity and truth sliced through all the cages and nightmares she’d bui
lt for herself. Granting her truth, letting her see things in a totally different light.
Her body flushed, releasing the guilt of what she’d done to the other girls. She shed the horror of hurting them. She finally came to terms that it wasn’t her fault. None of it. None of them had any choice.
Her sigh was full wonderment and joy.
Freedom.
It was done.
Thank fucking God.
Throwing the pill from my palm into my mouth, I grabbed the back of her neck. She shoved my chest, but she was no match for me. Slamming my lips against hers, I forced the second and final drug onto her tongue. The taste of her unlocked all the padlocks I’d surrounded the beast with, and I knew I had seconds left before I undid all the good I’d managed to do.
She growled, trying to bite me, but it was too late. She choked, swallowing the final stage in a rush of rage.
The moment it was done, I bolted.
Get out. Get out.
Charging out of the bathroom, I shot down the hall and ran. I ran until I had enough distance to talk myself out of going back if I snapped.
Out of breath, out of control, hanging onto sanity by a thread, I braced my back against the wall and yanked out my cock. My boxer-briefs tore with the violence of my touch.
The second my fingers latched around my length, the world ceased to exist.
I dropped the cage, unravelled the chains, and let the monster free.
Bashing my head against the wall, I fisted myself and jerked. I strangled my cock as if it was another demon deserving to die. I punished it. I fucking hurt it. I moaned and groaned and thrust like a beast possessed into fingers that only brought pain.
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. All I focused on was the arching, sparking, seething need in my balls.
With my other hand, I grabbed the tight aching things and with a roar, gave myself over to what I’d wanted since I kidnapped Tess from the hotel.
I came.
Thick white spurts, arching through the darkness, splattering against the floor. I growled as heat built and cramp stole my legs from under me. With each wave, I kept up my brutal torture on my body. I wrung its fucking neck, brutalizing it for making me so subservient to horrible desire.
As the last ripple erupted from the tip, I slid down the wall.
My heart was a frenzied lunatic.
Sweat covered my entire body and a chill turned my shivers of pleasure into shivers of cold.
But despite feeling guilty, sick, twisted, and completely fucked-up, a small smile graced my lips.
I’d done the unthinkable and won.
I’d had the opportunity to ravish a slave.
I’d had the chance to be the monster I’d always wanted.
But I hadn’t.
I’d kept her safe.
And she was free.
Chapter Seven
Tess
Our monsters found solace in each other’s perfect heart, the devil himself couldn’t tear us apart,
You belong, I belong, our twisted souls forever
It was like waking from a nightmare.
Clouds parted, mists dispersed, clarity took hold. But it wasn’t a nightmare. I’d lived it. I’d breathed it. My heart raced, my body had bruises that weren’t there before, and my mind…my mind was…empty.
I was weak and wobbly but beneath the rush and sickness of adrenaline lived a small incandescent ball, lodged in my heart, growing bigger and bigger. Every breath it grew brighter, swallowing the darkness and weakness inside. I no longer ached for the girls I’d hurt. I no longer felt crippled by guilt. I didn’t seethe with rage at what they’d stolen from me. I didn’t fight constant tears at the thought of disappointing Q.
All of that was overtaken by wondrous liberation.
The nucleus of the old me—who’d fought and won and returned to a master who turned out to be my soul-mate—sprang back into power. It was like spreading crumpled wings, learning how to fly again.
The moment Leather Jacket had run, I’d claimed my freedom. Everything seemed less oppressive. The guilt was still there…just liveable. The memories still haunted but they were ignorable.
Leather Jacket had razed my self-confidence to the ground, but by letting me win—he’d given it back.
My hands curled at the thought of running after him. I wished for a gun and a bullet etched with his name. I wanted to chase him. I wanted to kill, but the luminosity inside demanded no more blood. No more tarnish or slime or death.
Serenity. I’m free.
Nothing in the world could make me give it up.
I turned toward the bath, surveying the dark bathroom with the detachment of a dream. Liquid drenched every inch, creating a gloomy water-world. My naked body rivuleted with droplets as I practically paddled toward the huge bath.
Staring into the still rocking waves, I waited for terror. I waited for flashbacks of being held under and choking but…nothing.
No memory came to fill me with horror; all I remembered was Leather Jacket releasing me and running. If his intention had been to kill me and finish the job—he should’ve stayed away, because now—now I remembered the good as well as the bad. I’d been reminded of everything that I’d lost.
Crushing, joyous tears travelled up my spine, blurring everything. I’d never felt so emptily happy. Thoughts echoed with no rebound, my mind could focus on one thing and not be swallowed by the past.
The silence was ten times, no a hundred times better than my tower. This silence had no walls or cages. This silence came with no stigmata or consequences.
I’m free.
Q.
My heartbeats danced. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to test my conclusion that I was strong enough for him. Would pain still make me run? Somehow, I didn’t think it would.
Where was Q? It seemed an age since I’d seen him—the longest we’d been apart since he rescued me.
Maybe this time it’s your turn.
My eyes flared. Did Q need rescuing? Had I been so wrapped up in my sad little world that I’d put too much on him. The answer was too loud to ignore.
Yes.
It was my turn to give him what he wanted. My turn to give him the relief he needed through pain. But…not yet. I wanted to exist in this precious, perfect moment a little longer. I wanted to solidify the truth and realign every piece of me that’d been scattered by Leather Jacket. Puzzle pieces slotted together, building the complete picture. I was back. My self-worth and belief was miraculously returned.
Sweeping a leg over the tub, I sighed as every muscle unlocked and melted, sliding into the hot water.
The heat cushioned me, hissing against the minor burns on my breasts from the wax Q used and flaring the remaining spanks from before, but I didn’t care. I let go of everything, drifting in happiness. I’d won. I’d done it. I’d survived.
Then something cloud-like crept over my mind.
Something warm.
Something soft.
Something sweet.
* * *
“Tess?”
That voice. All depth and gravel and sinfully French.
I stretched as the one syllable of my name echoed in my limbs. I’d never felt a word before, but I did now, and I wanted more. I wanted sonnets whispered in my ears. I wanted lullabies murmured in my mouth.
I opened my eyes.
The bathroom was still dark, but something seemed to be wrong with my brain. I no longer saw darkness; I saw fractures of light, sparkles, glitter in the grey.
“Wow,” I whispered.
Something touched my cheek; I shivered instantaneously. It was too much. Too damn delicious. It was as if the sun trickled through my skin, sending rays directly into my heart.
My eyes travelled up and I blinked.
He was stunning.
He was dazzling.
He was poetically spectacular.
Q’s gorgeous lips spread into a gentle smile; his eyes were pale perfection in the gloom. “Tu vas bien?”
You okay?
My entire body rippled. I gasped as a rush of lust intoxicated me. All I could focus on was his mouth—his stupefying, scrumptious mouth.
I blinked again. What’s happening to me?
All I wanted was his lips on mine—his tongue licking and desiring.
His jaw held tiny droplets, his naked chest spangling with grey and silver rainbows. I became hypnotised by a teardrop running down his abs.
Those abs!
His tattoo came to life as inked sparrows ruffled their feathers, darting free from the swirling clouds and barbwire.
I couldn’t look away, completely enthralled by the magic Q performed. How did he do that?
Something firm and controlling pinched my chin, guiding my eyes up, up. I locked onto Q’s gaze, sighing heavily. How could one person carry so much?
“Pain and need and love and confusion,” I whispered. His soul reached through his jade eyes, drenching me with everything he lived with.
I bit my lip, jolting at the shock of how smooth my mouth was, how tasty the bathwater was on my tongue.
Desire unfurled faster and faster in my belly.
Q frowned, impossibly making him more roguish and handsome. “Tess…? How do you feel?”
How did I feel? Amazing. Lusty. Powerful. Consumed.
I stretched again, arching my back as water lapped around my body. I wanted to moan with how good I felt. I’d never been so warm or contended or horny.
My eyes snapped to Q’s. Him. I had to have him.
“You’re so beautiful,” I murmured.
Q froze, his eyes searching mine. Slowly, his lips turned up into half a smile.
I pressed my thighs together. I couldn’t stop my body from overheating and needing. I’d been cursed or charmed—some sort of potion lived inside. I had no other explanation for how much I needed him.
I laughed, throwing myself headfirst into whatever spell I was trapped in. My voice fell from my mouth, tinkling and chiming like a bell. Was that truly me? I sounded magical. I sounded like a princess straight from a storybook.
Who was I? Sleeping Beauty who’d been woken by her prince?
My eyes locked onto Q’s. No. I was the one who’d fallen head over heels for a beast who spoke in foreign tongues.
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