My Baby, My Love

by Dani Sinclair

  Baby?

  He might as well have spoken in Chinese.

  “I’m pregnant?” Sydney could only stare at the man. Jerome’s friend, the fertility doctor, had told them the procedure hadn’t worked! “Are you certain?”

  Thrown off stride by the interruption, the doctor rubbed the pen tip against the side of his face as if bewildered. “Quite certain, Mrs. Inglewood. You appear to be about three months pregnant. When was…?”

  That incompetent twit! Hadn’t she guessed she couldn’t trust Jerome’s friend? His entire clinic had done little to inspire confidence. She should have known he’d get the test results wrong.

  “I got pregnant three months and nine days ago,” she told the surgeon. That date was engraved on her mind for all time.

  Like a delayed electric charge, the impact of his revelation suddenly slammed home. She was going to have a baby! Jerome’s baby.

  But Jerome was dead!

  She’d been in the process of filing for a divorce.

  She could not be pregnant! Not now! Not when this officious surgeon was implying that her hand might never function properly again and her whole career could be in jeopardy.

  Panic clogged her throat while the surgeon stood beside her, calmly, arrogantly sure of himself as he continued to list her health concerns. The soft-spoken man hadn’t a clue that his words were doing more to shock her than the bullet had done.

  Sydney glanced at her stomach and shook her head in denial. She didn’t look pregnant. She didn’t feel pregnant. She did not want to be pregnant. Not now. She wanted this doctor to be wrong.

  A vision of a tall man in a military uniform made her close her eyes in despair. Noah. She was pregnant with his brother’s baby.

  A shiver racked her entire body. This wasn’t happening. She wanted to grab her pounding head and close her eyes until the nightmare ended.

  “Mrs. Inglewood, I assure you,” the surgeon continued, “the baby is fine. There’s no cause for alarm.”

  Wanting to laugh, she also wanted to cry. No wonder she’d been thrashing around when she’d started to wake up. She wanted to thrash around again right now. Her entire world had just shifted one hundred eighty degrees.

  She was relieved when the doctor finally left. Staring out the window, she tried to calm the insidious threat of panic welling in her chest. Pregnant! What was she going to do?

  She hadn’t liked the small fertility clinic or the hyper doctor who ran it, but Jerome had insisted on using both. The man was a former schoolmate. A friend. And his brand-new clinic needed patients. Small wonder. The creep also needed to go back to medical school.

  Despite his assurance that the procedure hadn’t worked, she was pregnant. She clutched the sheet covering her, wadding the material into a destructive ball. Whether the timing suited her or not, Sydney was going to have the child she’d always wanted.

  The police and FBI arrived before she had time to think past the shock. Despite their effusive apologies for disturbing her, Sydney spent the bulk of the afternoon answering questions until her voice was hoarse and her head felt as if it were going to come apart in her hands.

  The thieves had made off with more than three quarters of a million dollars. They hadn’t left a trace of evidence behind. They’d even been smart enough to locate and take the bank’s surveillance tapes. All the authorities had was Sydney, the only eyewitness to what had happened. Not that she was much help. Despite her best efforts, Sydney couldn’t give them anything to work with. Exhausted, she fell asleep as soon as they left.

  Dreams fragmented her sleep. Real events blended with menacing nightmares that brought her to the edge of waking. She knew she was dreaming, but she couldn’t seem to force her heavy eyes open.

  Fear became a writhing force in her chest as she faced the gunman all over again. In her dream, someone hovered just out of sight. The danger felt all too real. If only she could open her eyes to look.

  Sydney struggled to release herself from the nightmare’s hold. Her senses screamed at her to open her eyes. A crash pierced the nightmare, jarring her free. She opened her eyes and gasped for air. A bearded man with long hair stood beside her bed.

  Piercing dark eyes glared down at her, plunging icy fear straight through her veins. He withdrew his hand from inside the nightstand drawer. Fingers flexed. A subtle threat. But there was no subtlety in the stare that drilled into her. The menace was real. She drew in a ragged breath of air to scream when a voice in the hall called out sharply.

  “Hey, orderly! They need your help in 413! Someone fell!”

  Without a word, the man turned and strode away.

  Badly shaken, Sydney struggled to sit up. Pain clawed her head with needlelike talons. Dropping her chin to her chest, she pressed her palm against her throbbing temple, so dizzy she was nearly sick. The wave of vertigo passed, leaving her weak and spent in reaction. Only when she could finally open her eyes again and everything remained still did she notice the dinner tray sitting on the tray table beside her.

  The drawer of her nightstand was partially open. A vase of flowers had fallen to the floor. It must have been the crash that had penetrated her nightmare.

  Hand on the call button, she hesitated. Had the threat been real, or imagined? Had the orderly merely looked angry because he’d knocked over the vase and was afraid he’d be in trouble? Or was there another, more sinister reason?

  Surely the police officer who’d summoned the man wouldn’t have let anyone in her room without credentials.

  But years of television cop shows said anyone could get a set of credentials. And she hadn’t noticed any around his neck. Maybe he’d brought in her dinner tray and maybe he hadn’t. For certain he’d knocked over the flowers. And his hands had been inside the drawer of her nightstand. He could have been searching for something to wipe up the mess, but the memory of his cold dark eyes sent her hand to the call light.

  Minutes passed. No one came. Why wasn’t anyone responding?

  Shoving back the covers, Sydney stood. Dizzy, she grabbed the tray table for support. The stand began to roll.

  “Mrs. Inglewood!”

  A slip of a nurse rushed inside the room, barely in time to prevent her fall.

  “I almost didn’t catch you! Here sit down. There’s glass all over the floor! You knocked over a vase. You should have waited for someone to come and help you up. We had an emergency. The patient down the hall just fell out of bed. He’s a large man and it took four of us to get him back in again. The last thing we need is for you to fall down, too. Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

  “No!”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “The man who was just in here, I think he brought this tray. Do you know him?”

  Puzzled, the woman stared. “I don’t know what man you’re talking about. I didn’t see who delivered the trays tonight. I’m not even the nurse for this section. I just saw your light flashing and…is there a problem?”

  With the pretty young nurse looking up at her, Sydney started feeling foolish. What if she’d made a mistake? They would think she was some sort of paranoid fool. But if she hadn’t made a mistake?

  “Look, I know this sounds crazy, but I woke up and found him staring at me. Are you sure he really works here?”

  The nurse started looking worried. “Did he say something inappropriate? Did he touch you?”

  “No. No, he didn’t do anything. I mean, besides knocking over that vase. But I don’t think he was wearing identification. You know, like yours.”

  The woman relaxed slightly, though she still looked concerned. “The police aren’t letting anyone in here without identification, Mrs. Inglewood.”

  “I know that! Please. Humor me. Just check him out, will you? Or have the police officer on duty check him out. Please!”

  “All right. Tell me what the man looked like.”

  “He had long brown hair and a beard and mustache. And piercing brown eyes.”

  The nurse relaxed.
“Oh, him. Don’t worry. He’s the orderly that helped us get Mr. Logler off the floor. I think he’s new, but I’ll check just to make sure.”

  The loudspeaker came to life before Sydney could question that statement. “Karin Stipes, call in please.”

  “That’s me. I swear there’s a full moon out tonight. The whole place is going crazy. I’ll be right back. And I’ll check on that orderly for you. You just relax. You’ve been through quite an ordeal, from what I hear.”

  Sydney sank back against the pillows, feeling oddly unsettled. The nurse was placating her. She wanted to argue, but her head was killing her. If only Noah would return.

  The thought surprised her. Why had she automatically thought of Noah? She didn’t even know him, and that made her inutterably sad.

  It must be the combination of the drugs in her system and the terrible nightmares that were throwing her thoughts into such chaos. She shouldn’t be thinking of Noah at all.

  No doubt she was simply overreacting to finding that orderly standing over her.

  Sydney looked at the open drawer in her nightstand. Then she regarded the dinner tray.

  And maybe she wasn’t.

  Despite the nurse’s assurances, there had been something frightening about the orderly. If she was paranoid, so be it. Sydney wanted to go home.

  Only, where was home? Certainly not the apartment she’d so briefly shared with Jerome. She couldn’t go back there, any more than she could take back the things she’d said to him the last time they’d talked.

  She had meant every word, but that only added to her guilt. Theirs had never been a normal marriage, but she’d gone into the situation with her eyes open—for the most part. Nothing could have prepared her for the changes in Jerome once they married. Yet, despite all their battles, she’d never wished him ill. They’d made a mistake. A mistake she’d been trying to rectify.

  Whether by accident or design, she couldn’t forget that Jerome had saved her life.

  Sydney closed her eyes, turned her face into her pillow and gave in to the grief and fear suddenly crowding her mind. Sobs finally turned to hiccups, leaving her spent and listless. She must have fallen deeply asleep because she didn’t see or hear whoever came in and took away her tray and cleaned up the broken vase of flowers.

  Surprisingly, when she did wake, even her head felt better. Time passed slowly. Her eyes were closing again when someone entered the room. His scent reached her before she could turn her head to look in his direction. When she did, she had to battle another sudden wave of vertigo.

  “You still look pretty bad,” Noah said.

  He was a tall, powerfully built man who carried himself with an air of assurance and authority that commanded attention. Alpha male, she thought. Used to being in charge. Yet instead of being repelled by this, she was curiously drawn to Noah.

  He came to a halt beside her bed. Up close, she saw that circles pouched beneath Noah’s eyes and lines of strain marred his strong features.

  “Have you looked in a mirror recently?” she managed to respond, uncomfortably aware on a feminine level of how disheveled she must appear. It was crazy, this jolt of physical awareness she felt when he looked at her.

  She wanted to ask him where he’d been. Why he hadn’t come back as he promised earlier. Only she was afraid the questions would sound whiny. So she lifted her chin and met his gaze without flinching and tried to ignore the unsettling feelings deep inside.

  Noah regarded her solemnly. He held an offering in his hand. A small African violet, she realized. She swallowed hard to keep unexpected tears at bay. What was happening to her emotions? Those tiny, velvety blue blossoms represented peace and contentment in her world. He couldn’t have chosen anything better—or anything worse.

  “Please. I want to go home.”

  She’d meant to thank him. The childish request came out instead. Noah set the plant on her nightstand.

  “The doctor said maybe tomorrow.”

  She shook her head and immediately wished she hadn’t. Stabbing pain lanced through her skull. Sydney gritted her teeth. “Now.”

  “You must be feeling better.”

  That didn’t merit a response.

  “Your friends are worried,” he told her. “Hannah’s new husband, Bruce, had a real battle to get her to leave on their honeymoon.”

  Astounded, she gaped at him. “I forgot all about the wedding!” She was to have been one of Hannah’s bridesmaids. No wonder none of her friends had come by to see her.

  Noah walked to the narrow window near her bed and looked out. “Hannah wanted to wait, but Laura and Bruce convinced her you would want her to go ahead with the ceremony.”

  Sydney nipped a trace of regret. She fervently wished she could have been there, but she was honestly glad Hannah hadn’t postponed her wedding. Hannah and Bruce were so passionately in love that at times it was almost embarrassing.

  “They tried to see you yesterday before the service,” Noah continued, “but the police were with you. The doctor left instructions that you weren’t to have visitors.”

  Sydney stared at him, appalled. “I would have seen them! No one told me they were here.”

  “No. I don’t imagine they did.” He pulled a heavy visitor’s chair closer to the bed and sat down. He wasn’t wearing his military uniform anymore, yet the formal white shirt and dark dress pants were practically a uniform when worn with such commanding elegance.

  “You have loyal friends,” he said slowly. “First, Hannah wanted to postpone the wedding, then she wanted to postpone the honeymoon.”

  “Oh. She didn’t—”

  “No, she didn’t. She and Bruce left as scheduled.”

  Sydney relaxed. “How do you know them?”

  “We spent a lot of time together in the waiting room. They even invited me to the wedding. I like your friends.”

  “So do I.”

  “Your friend, Laura, tried to cancel her flight out this morning, but she couldn’t. She was going to try and make a last-minute swap. If she succeeds, she’ll be by in the morning.”

  Laura was a flight attendant who’d complained long and hard about having to make a cross-country trip right after Hannah’s wedding. Sydney remembered how they’d teased her about restricting her champagne intake. It felt like a lifetime ago. Now Hannah was married and Jerome was dead and nothing would ever be the same again.

  “Easy,” Noah said gently. He stared at her with un-blinking eyes. Why did his presence seem to offer safety in a world gone mad? She had to stop thinking like that.

  “I feel like I’m living in a nightmare. Tell me something, if I wasn’t supposed to have visitors, how come they let you in?” she demanded, unsettled by her awareness of him. In truth, she suspected Noah hadn’t waited for an invitation. Pesky things like hospital rules wouldn’t stop him if he wanted something.

  “I’m considered family.”

  Family. Her hand rested against her stomach. His eyes followed the motion and an intense look entered his features.

  “We have to talk about this situation, Sydney.”

  He knew about the baby. It was there in his eyes. She thought of the new life growing inside her, of her tumultuous relationship with his brother, and she tried not to let her sudden shudder show.

  “Is everything all right?” His gaze fell to her abdomen. She resisted an impulse to touch her stomach again. She was oddly embarrassed by his knowledge of her condition.

  “Everything’s fine.” Her entire world had just collapsed and been reformed, but everything was fine. Realizing she was about to give in to another bout of self-pity, Sydney sat up. “Would you find my clothing, please? I want to go home.”

  “We need to talk about the baby and your plans, Sydney.”

  “I want to get out of here,” she repeated.

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Tonight!”

  His brow furrowed. “You need to think of the baby.”

  She closed her eyes against the pain that ca
me from more than simply her throbbing head.

  “Jerome’s baby.” As if she could think of anything else right now.

  Noah’s expression darkened. She couldn’t think about him right now. Her head pounded with thoughts of the baby. She’d wanted a child badly enough to marry the wrong man just to have one. What a fool she’d been. Didn’t they always say, be careful what you wish for?

  Sydney pulled back the covers, ignoring Noah’s frown, and started to swing her legs off the bed. He moved so quickly he startled her. His hand came down on her shoulder, kindly, but firmly. She couldn’t meet his eyes. They saw entirely too much.

  “I want my clothes.”

  “You don’t have any clothes here, Sydney. They cut them off your body to check for injuries. You were covered in blood.”

  “Then I’ll go home naked.”

  He half smiled. Her breath caught in her throat. Why, he was handsome. Nothing like Jerome, of course, but he would age with a depth and grace that would make him more striking with every year.

  What was she thinking? She didn’t care what Noah looked like. The man was her husband’s brother!

  “You won’t have to go home naked,” he was saying. “I’ll stop by your apartment first thing in the morning and get you something to wear home.”

  “No!” She swallowed her instant panic and tried for a calm she was far from feeling. “I need to leave now.”

  All traces of humor disappeared from his face. He misunderstood her panic and regarded her steadily. “Are you always this bossy?”

  “Yes.” She couldn’t bring herself to correct his impression. As soon as he saw the apartment she’d shared with his brother, he’d know how bad things had been between them. She wasn’t ready to answer the sort of questions he would then ask. And he would demand explanations as soon as he realized how many of her belongings were gone from the apartment she’d supposedly shared with Jerome.

  “You must have led Jerome around like a puppy.”

  The unfairness of his words stung. They couldn’t have been farther from the truth. He knew nothing about her relationship with Jerome. And she wasn’t about to tell him any details, either. She owed Jerome that much.