by Faulks, Kim
I tasted acid…and rage. I tasted power. I tasted her.
“Sixth, you okay?” Snowman turned his head to stare at me.
And still that silver glare bounced off the mirror, piercing my right eye with the light. I tried to grasp hold of her energy, but as always the feeling slipped away.
I needed her…just as the men at my back needed me.
She gave me nothing but torment—just snatches of her world in shot gun blasts, tearing open my mind for a second before they were snatched away. I wanted to find her…and say what dickhead? Hey…I’ve been in love with you since I was nine?
Boom…boom…boom…white walls closed in. The music didn’t hurt me anymore, it just blended in with mortar fire. Flashes filled my head. Fragments of the future stabbed into the present. Blood. Screaming. Only it wasn’t the images of the woman I saw now. It was my men. Green bathed in red—Marines dying, Marines torn apart. “Stop…Stop the truck.”
Brakes howled as I slammed forward. The dashboard rose up before I punched out my hand to save my damn face. Roars from the men flooded the cabin. Still I stared at the dirt road and tried to breathe.
Terror filled my head, and the bitter stench of gunpowder followed, pinching my nose. “IED’s.”
“Where?” Snowman snapped, leaned forward and punched the stereo.
Silence filled the void. Silver bounced off the mirror as I scanned the road. My damn hand trembled as I pointed at the terrain ahead. “There…there, and there.”
“Goddamn bastards…goddamn fucking bastards, right under our nose,” Snowman snarled, and then turned his head. “Gordie! You’re up.”
Heavy thud of boots rang out as five of the men piled out. The rest stayed, just as they always did.
“You want me to take care of this?” Snowman muttered.
Pain carved deep, slicing through my skull to the tissue inside. Flashes blinded me, one after another. “No, I got it.”
“We swept this area last night,” Gordie snarled as he neared the passenger’s door.
I yanked the handle and shoved. “There’s three new ones.”
Gordie stared at the road and waved the others forward. “We’ll find them.”
I climbed out of the cabin as they went to work. The dogs were first. Black and white fur against a brown road. Scout sniffed and worked his way forward before he stilled, and then sat obediently.
The first time I made the men stop and wait I’d been met with hate, fury and a few punches thrown…but now…after…fuck, I can’t remember how many times, they just knew…knew I was never wrong…
The EOD boys moved in, doing what they did best. I’d once considered training in Explosive Ordinance Disposal, better pay than a grunt, or a sniper. But the images…they’d never stop.
They’d drown me, even more than they drown me now.
The sun ebbed, moving lower in the sky by the time Gordie gave the all clear and the EOD boys piled into the back of the truck once more. Still I stood there, lifting my head to the goddamn sun as Hartman’s words came to life…You ever thought we’d be like this?
I wanted to tell him no…and of all people he’d believe me. But I knew…I knew the day I stood in front of the Commander and he gave me two damn choices. I knew that no matter how bad this was…that it was nothing compared to going back to that place I once called home.
“Sixth, you ready?”
I turned to the open door and climbed inside. “Yeah, we’re good.”
The air brake hissed as I yanked the door closed, and we were rolling, easing over the torn open road where an IED had waited for us hours before.
The images in my head fell silent. There was only the constant now…the two others, men like me—one fire, one darkness. They settled like a weight against me while the truck bounced and then turned as we started the slow climb around the major parts of the city.
The Fishtank, Wishtan and District Center was where the real action lay. They’d been taken over once before. Now all the major players were back, hungrier than ever. But to get in there was a labyrinth of houses that had no rhyme or reason—something no Marine wanted to tackle without a fuck load more of us dressed to kill.
So, we picked off the pieces around the outside, taking street by street…insurgent by insurgent. We tried our best, because that was all we had.
The crack of gunfire broke out as Snowman slowed the truck and then pulled to a stop.
They piled out, every one of them even though the world around us was exploding with fifty-calibre rounds. Shouts erupted as the Master Sergeant gave instructions. I grabbed my pack and hauled my ass outside, helmet on, head down as the crack of the gunfire fell silent.
“Sixth,” Master Sergeant called me over. “You and the rest of Bravo are to take up 611 at the edge of the green zone, facing Wishtan. I want the roads choked with Marines, no insurgent digs a damn hole for an IED or takes out another damn farmer from now on. Am I clear?”
“Yes, Sir,” the words were automatic, while I scrambled for the markers inside my head.
The houses along 611 were clustered and more spread out. That left us vulnerable…left us a long way from fucking backup too.
They waited for us out there, waited to draw us out into the open so they could pick us off one by one. I turned, nodded to the rest of Bravo and watched as they gathered their supplies.
Seven days…seven days of fucking Hell.
I settled the pack on my shoulders and then lifted my head to the sun. We’d move through sundown, hit the outpost in the dark and take over command.
I moved with the others, my hands on my gun, eyes on the action around us—but my mind was on her…on Purple Hair.
The evening star twinkled high in the sky. I wondered where she was now…wondered what her name was—wondered if she felt me, like I felt her.
Wondered if she loved me…like I loved her.
Voices cracked through my earpiece. I focused on the dimming sun, focused on the men ahead, focused on getting out of here in one damn piece, while I waited for her.
We walked for miles, watching the dimming sun, and then the stars while the faint muzzle flare grew brighter.
“Sixth. You’re up front,” Snowman’s voice filled my head.
I surged forward, lengthening my stride. The others followed. They always followed…the Guardian…Sixth…weird guy, or weird eye. Each damn name was different, but they all understood, and as I left the others behind I tried to picture myself somewhere else.
In a field filled with tall grass, and Purple Hair.
And on her other side were the two others, men like me who felt her in their own way. I waited for the flare of jealously, but none ever came. We were segments of a whole…just like a Corporal, and his men.
I raised my firearm at the sight of Marine greens against the barren ground and dropped low. Others fanned out to my right and left, but this was where Snowman wanted me, first in the action, first to see…first to be hit.
But they were banking on me knowing. They were banking on that silver shine in my eye.
“Gustafen,” I called, and crawled forward.
He turned his head, and glanced at me. Dried blood splatter covered his cheek, like sickening freckles against the silver glow of the moon. “We tried our best. A few slipped through, taken over the northern border. I hope you’re ready Sixth, you’re gonna need all the help you can get.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but there were no more words. Gustafen lowered himself to the ground and shuffled backwards, until he was far behind me.
I never heard his footsteps, never heard him leave…never heard anything but the sound of gunfire over the ridge in front of us. There were men waiting to kill us…men, waiting for a chance to lead us into the darkest places.
“I can’t do this,” a panicked voice filled the air.
I turned my head to Walker who sat on his ass with his head in his hands. Hushed voices swallowed his pain as others crowded around him. But I could tell he was t
oo far gone for words like…harden the fuck up. We need you out here…you can’t break on us now. And I didn’t need a sixth sense to see that.
Anyone could.
He was just a kid, nineteen…or twenty, and seen far too much.
“I just want to get out of here. I just want to go home.”
Those words haunted me as I turned back to the muzzle flares. This was how my life was. We’d take turns watching and waiting tonight. Take turns while we closed our eyes and slept on rocky, uneven ground, and prayed to God no insects climbed into our cammies.
I leaned in, lifted the night vision goggles while they talked Walker down off the ledge inside his head.
It wasn’t the first time.
I doubt it’d be the last.
Boots crunched on dirt. I tracked the footsteps until they stopped, shifted, and the scuff of hands and knees took their place.
Snowman settled in beside me. “You good?”
I glanced his way. “Yeah, I’m good.”
Hushed voices settled in behind me. I could hear Walker in the background, disjointed, lost and broken, and if we could hear him…then so could those bastards out there.
I kept my voice low. “What will you do with him?”
Snowman glanced behind us in the dark and shook his head. “They won’t send him home. Won’t do a damn thing to keep him and us out here safe. So, we’ll just have to take care of him. Keep him focused on the shit he can actually do.”
We settled in for the night, taking the first rotation while the voices behind us quietened, and then slowly died away while the others slept. I tried to find that part of me, that part which seemed to know everything.
But as always, they were fleeting, filling me with jumbled moments, only to be snatched away.
I wanted to see Walker’s future. Hell, I wanted to see all of ours. But I couldn’t. I could only wait and pray that I’d be fast enough…and I’d be strong enough to take on anything in my path.
Because she was always waiting.
My Purple Hair.
And I was waiting for her…just to give one sign—a sign that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.
Chapter Eight
Eve…
The name wrenched me awake. I cracked open my eyes to the faint sliver of light on the horizon and turned my thoughts inward…
Was that her name? Eve…the word lingered in my mind. She needed me. She needed me and I was here. Insects buzzed around my face. It wasn’t even day and it was already sweltering. I lifted a hand, wiped the sweat from my eyes and murmured. “Where are you Purple Hair?”
Gunfire echoed in the distance. Even out here on the edge of the green zone we were surrounded by insurgents. They hid amongst the farmers, taking over their lands to lay in wait for us.
I lifted my head to look at the others. We didn’t have the numbers for an outright attack, not without knowing how many insurgents we were dealing with.
Voices cracked over the two-way. I sat up at the sound and glanced over to where others watched at the edge of the outpost. Hartman was gone...
Sleep left me in a rush as I pushed my head up from my pack. My eyes watered with the sting of dust and acid in the air, and slick tears slid down my cheeks. I focused on the back of the nearest guy. “Gunter, what the fuck is going on?”
He lowered his goggles and turned his head. “Sleeping beauty,” he muttered and gave a vicious smile. “Missing all the action, Sixth. Hartman didn’t want to wake you, said you needed your rest.”
My body howled with the ache as I rolled over and lifted my binoculars. “What the Hell is he doing?”
“Running a feint along the river. He’s got Neo and Stickler at his side. We got a bead on the bastard's location, just can’t tell how many yet, or how damn strong they are.”
Fear punched through me like a live wire. My heart pounded as I tried to find them in the dark. “And they thought going out on their own was a smart fucking idea?”
He gave a shrug. “Snowman gave the order, so we do what he says.”
This wasn’t the plan…it wasn’t the plan at all.
“I gotta get out of here…I fucking gotta get out of this place.” Walker’s panic seeped into my own.
I lowered my night vision glasses and shoved my hands into the dirt and rocks. “Stay here, I’ll be back.”
The outpost was big enough to set up a rolling command. I scurried backwards on hands and knees until I was far enough to stand.
Justin and Connors stood around Walker as he shook his head and squeezed his hands. “Just get me out of here, Connors. I need to get out of here.”
“Listen brother, as soon as we can get you home, we’re gonna. But you gotta keep it together.” Connors gripped his shoulder and bent low to look him in the eyes. “You understand me, Walker? Keep it together. We can’t have you falling apart out here.”
The whites of Walker’s eyes were neon in the dark. There was something in them, something that whispered of more than a broken mind. An icy touch skimmed along my spine. Something was wrong…something was very wrong. I stared at the three Marines and kept on walking.
Snowman’s voice drifted toward me. He leaned over the hood of a gun truck while others crowded around him. “We’re gonna wait until Hartman and the others get a nice lead. It’s going to expose the enemy’s right flank. Then we’re going to have a good feel for their numbers and strength. But I want all three of you ready to rock and roll. My boys get stuck in there, and it’s your job to get them out. Am I clear?”
“Yes, Sir,” all three echoed, and then turned their head toward me.
I glanced at the section on the map as Snowman lifted his hand toward his head and turned off the light. “What the Hell is going on Snowman?”
The others left, their orders issued. Snowman’s shoulders curled, still he never turned, never looked me in the eyes. “It wasn’t my call.”
“But you didn’t turn it down, did you?”
Only then did he turn and lift his gaze. “We need to know what we’re dealing with. This is the only way. Kilo company has already moved out. Without this, it leaves us vulnerable.”
And yet all I could feel was Hartman out there, running like a man hunted. One false move…one wrong damn step.
“They’re going to be fine, Sixth. They’re highly trained, the best we have, and we’re watching them every step of the way.”
And still that icy touch lingered, crawling underneath my collar to reach around the base of my neck. Goosebumps raced as the sun grew brighter, splashing against the dirt and the fucking shit.
I waited for the flashes of insight…waited for something more than this goddamn feeling. I hated this…I fucking hated this—this…almost knowing.
It was like telling someone how they were going to die…but not when.
“You see something?” Snowman stilled. “Is that what you’re telling me here?”
He looked different in this light, no longer the friend—but the Commander. I blinked and saw him then, saw the kind of man he’d become. Shiny gold medals lined up across his chest. I lifted my gaze, knowing this was a glimpse into the future, and in his eyes I saw hate, and rage…I saw someone sick, filled with the kind of questions that could never be answered.
Questions that no amount of shiny medals could quieten.
“No, I don’t see anything,” the words were dry and hoarse.
I licked cracked lips and tried to swallow, and yet all I tasted was blood.
Snowman gave a nod. “Then we stick with the plan. Hartman and the others draw fire. We get a bearing on what we’re dealing with and we either close in behind them and take the enemy out, or we get our boys the Hell out of there.”
I had nothing to say, nothing that could change his mind.
A command was a command.
I turned on my heel and made my way back to Gunter. Insects buzzed and smacked into my face. I swiped them away and dropped to hands and knees. In a heartbeat I was back on the range
with Huckle up my ass.
Sun glinted off the rifle beside my pack. I lifted the weapon as I settled onto my belly.
Night vision was useless now as the sun splashed yellow across the banks of the Helmand river. I eased the stock against my shoulder and kicked out the legs to steady it.
I couldn’t make a shot, not from up here. But I could watch. I could track…and fucking wait. I settled the sight along the brittle banks and followed the line.
The faint crack of gunfire cut through the air. I shifted the sight, catching the puff of dirt, and then movement. My pulse was thundering, drowning out the calls in my mic. Hartman was down there hauling ass, and all I could do was fucking watch.
“I got them,” Gunter called. “Three cars, three in the car one, two more in cars two and three…wait…wait, there’s more coming from the west.”
Dust kicked up into a damn dust storm. I focused on the front, catching the thick metal grill of a truck.
They came from out of nowhere, lying in wait…and we had three of our men down there…
The sound of live fire grew louder as Hartman and the others took cover. I couldn’t wait…not for a fucking vision of their end, or for Snowman to give the damn word. “It’s all yours, Gunter. Don’t let them down.”
I gripped the Tac-50 and shoved from the ground. What good was I up here? What fucking good was I standing there watching my best friend be picked apart by the enemy.
“Stickler’s been hit,” Hartman’s voice cracked over the two-way. “We need to get out of here now.”
I waited for the engine of the gun truck, waited for Snowman to give the command. I barely felt my pack as I bent, gripped the straps and heaved.
The weight of the pack bounced on my shoulders as I raced toward the vehicles. They were already mobilizing, climbing up into the cabin of the trucks.
“Wait,” I called. “I’m coming.”
Snowman turned at the call and settled hard eyes on me. “You sure you want to do this?”
“Fuck!” Hartman called through my headset.
I didn’t need the comms anymore. I knew what was coming. I could see it all…every bloody second of it.
