“Ooh, that’s not true,” she blurted without thinking.
“It’s not?” His face lit up. “Lacey…” he hesitated. “I’m sorry. Not just for this, but for fucking up our lives, your life. I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting what happened to you, Joseph and Anna.” He bowed his head and when he finally looked back up, tears glistened in his eyes. “I’m sorry for what Smitt did to you and I’m sorry you lost your baby. Hell, I owe you so many apologies, I don’t even know where to start or end.”
Lacey fisted her hands together and struggled against the overwhelming urge to burst into tears. Tears were for the past. She had the future to look forward to now, and it couldn’t include this man. “I think we’re past the point of apologies. We need time to heal, all three of us. I can’t look back, Danger, not at what was or what we had and lost. I hope you’ll understand and accept that I want a new beginning.”
“But you just said—”
“It doesn’t matter what I just said or how I feel. I need a fresh start…with Rafe.”
Danger clenched his hands together on top of the desk. “I’m trying to understand your reasons, but if you still love me—”
“Don’t,” she said. “Just…don’t.”
He released a pent-up breath. “I want you to know I’m the real loser here. I lost the best thing that ever happened to me, and I know it’s gone for good. I just wanted you to know…I know that.”
She couldn’t find the words to give him peace. Her own emotions were in such turmoil, she couldn’t help him or anyone else, maybe someday, but not at this moment.
“What did Rafe say about us still being married?”
“He’s upset, naturally,” she said, trying to ignore the way her breasts tingled. She prayed her nipples didn’t harden because she was wearing a T-shirt and there was no way Danger would miss her body’s reaction to his. “We thought, believed we were married. Now it seems we’ll have to wait until a divorce takes place between you and me.”
“I don’t want a divorce.”
Lacey jerked. Her heart sank to her knees and blood rushed to the tips of her nipples making them tingle. “Danger—”
“Don’t leave me. I love you, Lacey. I know I did and said things that hurt you, but I love you. Stay with me. I swear I’ll do better this time, if you’ll give me another chance. I’ll do everything within my power to make you happy.”
That was all it took. Her breasts swelled, her nipples burst into rigid little tips and poked against the material of her shirt. She folded her arms across her breasts. “I can’t. I can’t stay. Don’t do this to me.”
“You still love me. I know you do. I see it in your eyes. And crossing your arms over your breasts doesn’t stop me from knowing you want me too.”
“Danger…” Her lips trembled. She gripped her forearms tightly, but still, tears filled her eyes.
“You love me,” he said softly. “God, Lacey, I’m fighting for my life here, our life. You can’t marry him, not when you’re still in love with me. Give us a second chance.”
“I can’t!”
“Why, for God’s sake? You don’t have to rush into a divorce or into a marriage with Rafe.”
“I’m not rushing, but I can’t be your wife.”
“Well you sure as hell can’t be his wife when you’re still in love with me.”
“I didn’t say I was still in love with you.”
“You don’t have to. I know you, Lace.”
“You see what you want to see. I can’t remain your wife, Danger.”
“Why? I made mistakes. Christ, I know I made them, but damn it, I love you. You might not admit it, but you love me, too. Marriages have rocky patches. God knows ours was fucking filled with boulders, but we have to try, Lace. It’s worth a try.”
“I can’t. You don’t understand. I can’t be your wife.”
“Give me one good reason why you won’t give us another chance.”
“I can give you several, but the most important one is…I’m pregnant.”
Danger sat there staring at her, his eyes brimming with tears. “Pregnant?” His chest rose and fell with ragged breaths. “Shit.” He rubbed an unsteady hand across his mouth. He puffed out a long breath and stared at her. “Fuck!”
Lacey clenched her hands together. She couldn’t go through his anger and hostility, his accusations again. Her heart simply wouldn’t hold together. She felt as if it was barely glued in place. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, feeling as if her entire world was crashing down around her shoulders—again.
He pushed back his chair and rose to his feet, towering over her. Lord, hadn’t he always towered over her head and shoulders? Quickly, he circled the desk and knelt in front of her. She braced herself for his anger.
“I don’t care if you’re pregnant, baby,” he said softly. “I might wish the baby was mine, in fact, I do wish it was mine.” He cupped the sides of her face. “I’ve come a long way this past year. Believe me, I’ve learned from my mistakes. I want you, Lace. Do you understand? I don’t care anymore that another man touched you or that you’re carrying his child.” He hesitated, then clasped her hands. “Well I care, but…Lace? Please? Please stay with me. We can make our lives together work. I know we can.”
She made a strangled sound in the back of her throat. At that moment, she thought her heart might shatter with the pain, regret and loss. Gently, she pulled her hands free and rested them on top of his bowed head. “Once, I would have given anything to hear those words from you.”
He lifted his head and swallowed hard. “But not now?”
“No. Not now,” she said in a soft tone. “We went down a road, you and I…and somewhere, we took a wrong turn.” Her voice quivered. Lacey drew a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “I’m sorry, too, for everything we lost, for not realizing I was losing you until I’d already lost you, but I’ve started a new journey. Rafe and I…” She shrugged. “We might not have what you and I had, but we’re good together. You and I, we only cause each other pain and sorrow. You have to let me go. My life’s with him.”
“You love me,” he said, his voice cracking. “How can I let that go?”
“Yes, I love you, but it’s not enough. It wasn’t enough before. Was it? We have to let go. Rafe’s a good man and he loves me. This is his baby. I can’t, I won’t hurt him.”
Danger nodded. His breath escaped on a ragged note. “I know he’s a good man. He’s always loved you, Lace, from the moment he saw you, he loved you. I always knew that and it scared me deep inside, because I knew…somehow I knew, he loved you better than I did.”
“Danger…”
“Oh, God, Lace,” he said, his voice bleak. “He loved you better then, but not now. Not now. I’m so sorry I pushed you away.”
“It wasn’t all your fault. I should have fought harder for you,” she said sadly. “I have to go. Rafe’s waiting outside for me.”
Danger rose to his feet. Stepping back, he held out his hand to her, and helped her up from the chair. “If you ever need me, I’ll be there.”
“I know.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Take care of yourself, Danger.”
“You, too. I’ll…uh…” He paused and cleared his throat. “I’ll send the divorce papers as soon as I can,” he said, gently squeezing her hands.
“Thank you.” Her breath caught on a hitch. “Be happy.”
“Lace…wait!”
She paused at the door and looked over her shoulder. “I dare not,” she whispered, and turned the door knob.
Chapter Thirty-Four
There is only one happiness in life—to love and to be loved.
~George Sand
West of Denver
Duel’s Cabin
February 20, Friday
Ninety hours after the assassination…
Flayme adjusted the hot water and let the soothing heat pour into her bones. After last night, she didn’t think she’d ever get warm again. The only time she felt half way normal or sa
fe was when she was in Duel’s arms, his body locked inside hers and him rocking them to the ultimate high.
She might feel half frozen, but her heart was filled with happiness. The cowboy loved her. She couldn’t help wondering how she got so lucky, but she wasn’t going to question the richness of her life. Happiness was both giving and receiving love. She felt very blessed.
The shower door opened and closed, tugging her away from her thoughts.
“Mind if I play with you?” Duel drawled huskily. The soft gold in his eyes flashed, flirty, yet somehow smoldering with promise as he edged her into a corner.
Her gaze settled on his crotch. “That depends.”
“On what?” He moved closer.
“On what toy you’re going to share with me.”
He wrapped a meaty fist around his hard cock. “I’m very willing to share this little guy.”
“Little guy?” She laughed. There was nothing small about Duel anywhere. The man was a walking billboard of masculinity, raw sex, and a killer smile. A wide, furred chest, bulging biceps, and powerful thighs completed the hot picture of her man.
He was a great kisser, and the way he claimed her when he made love to her turned her insides to mush. The little guy wasn’t too bad, either. Long and thick and God, when Duel entered her, she always felt stuffed. Duel Remington made her complete.
“Come here, you.” He pulled her against his chest and cupped her bottom. Her nipples tightened instantly. Duel’s brows rose. “Anxious ladies you got there.” He grinned. “Almost as hard as my cock,” he teased. Bracing himself with one hand, Duel lifted her. “Wrap your legs around my waist, doll baby, and hold on tight. We’re going for a ride, sweetheart.”
She looped her arms around his neck and tightened her legs around him. Duel lowered her slowly onto his cock, pushing inside her, through the tight layers of muscle, impaling her. He rocked his hips, thrusting inside her in a slow, steady rhythm, that grew faster and harder with each thrust She clawed his shoulders and moved her hips, taking him deeper.
Flayme shuddered. Multiple orgasms slammed into her, exploding through her body hot and fierce. Duel followed her over the edge. Breathing hard, he reached behind her and turned off the water. Remaining inside her, he stepped out of the shower and backed into the bedroom.
“Where are you taking me?” she whispered, pressing kisses along his jaw.
“To Paradise.”
The bed was only a few steps away, but she didn’t think they’d make it there. When he turned and pressed her back against a wall and took her hard and fast, she knew he felt the same driving force of need she felt.
Flayme screamed her pleasure as his powerful strokes slowed to a teasing momentum that had her begging him to move faster. She lost count of how many times he took her over the edge with those long, slow strokes that both tormented and gave her pleasure. Crashing and rising, they rode the waves of their body’s intense release. She felt as if she was freefalling, tumbling through the heavens, only to crash back to Earth, replete at last.
“I’ll never get enough of you,” Duel whispered, kissing her mouth. “I could eat you up and still come back for more.”
She didn’t know how much time passed before he finally carried her to the bed. Flayme snuggled close, resting her head on his chest. “The way we’ve been going at each other, if someone wanted us dead the last couple of hours, we would never have heard them come in,” she said.
He grinned. “Sweetheart, I know how to take care of you. I set the alarm before I ever came upstairs. I wouldn’t leave anything to chance where your safety’s concerned.”
Duel rolled away, grabbed his jeans and pulled them on. Socks and boots followed and a shirt.
“You’re going somewhere?” Flayme scooted to the edge of the bed.
“Yeah.” He leaned forward and kissed her. “I’m going to do a perimeter check. Stay up here. The front door will lock behind me. Don’t open it for anyone but me.”
Flayme grabbed her clothes and started dressing. “I’ll come with you.”
“No, sweetheart.”
“But—”
“You’re the target.” He grabbed her by the upper arms. “Listen to me, if anything happens, no matter what it is, you don’t open the door downstairs. Understand?”
Flayme suddenly felt more frightened than ever before. “But…couldn’t whoever might be out there just break in the door or break the glass and come in?”
“No. The door’s reinforced steel. The windows are shatter and bulletproof. By the time someone could get in, help should be here.”
“Were you paranoid when you built this place?”
Duel smiled and kissed her again. “Nope. All the safety measures came later. You aren’t the first person to be here whose needed protection.”
In spite of him insisting he’d be all right and for her to remain upstairs, Flayme followed him to the front door. “Be careful.”
He pulled on the leather fringe jacket from the hall closet and grabbed his Glock off the stand by the door. Jamming his Stetson on his head, he grinned. “You got it, doll baby. Save my place beside you in the bed. I’ll be back in a sec.”
With that, he eased out the door and she keyed the alarm behind him. Flayme paced the length of the room. She hated that he risked his life for hers. If she died, what would the world lose? Nothing.
But if he died—she drew a deep breath. If he died, the world lost a man who’d willingly endangered his own life to save others. He saved lives all the time. Not her. She’d never done anything important. The world needed men like Duel Remington, but it could sure survive without her.
Flayme paused to nibble on her thumb, then glared at it. Damn, she barely had a nail left. She’d chewed it to the quick. She ran over to a window and searched the edge of the woods, but she didn’t see him anywhere. Damn it! Where was he?
Her heart raced. Terror gripped her insides. Cold sweat popped out above her upper lip. Her stomach recoiled. Nausea bubbled. She slid a hand across her belly in a protective gesture old as time. She did it automatically, without thought.
Flayme looked down, surprised to see where her palms rested. Duel must be right. She’d never had such a queasy stomach before in her life or felt so fiercely protective of a life she didn’t even know for sure was growing inside her. She shook her head. Unbelievable. She had no proof, yet somehow she knew without a doubt she was pregnant.
Did women really get nauseated from the moment they conceived? She’d heard some did, but she’d never believed it—until now. Maybe she wasn’t pregnant. Maybe the nausea was brought on and compounded by her nerves and fear that something bad could be happening out there to the man she loved. A wave of tenderness swept over her at the thought of his child growing inside her. The odds of her not conceiving over the last couple of days and nights were pretty slim. Lord knew they’d taken plenty of chances.
Flayme moved closer to the window and stared out, searching for some sign as to what was happening. Nothing. Everything was still. Too still? It’d be dark soon, another thirty or forty minutes and another day ended.
Duel emerged from the edge of the woods and relief rushed over her. Thank God! There he was safe and sound and coming back to her. Happiness swelled inside her. She’d never loved the way she loved this man.
He looked up, all his concentration on the cabin and she wondered if he was looking for her, then he spotted her, and she knew he’d been doing exactly that—looking for her. She waved, laughing. Joy bubbled over like champagne from a newly uncorked bottle. Hurry, she thought. Hurry back to me.
He was close enough now for her to see the silly grin plastered on his face. He waved, stopped and looked back over his shoulder toward the trees one last time. Then he faced her again, that goofy smile on his face.
One minute he was standing there grinning, the next, the oddest look spasmed across his face. His big body jerked, and he fell to one knee. What?
Crack!
The report of the
gunfire came seconds later and she knew—what.
Duel’s body jerked a second time and he went down, sprawling on the ground in a tangled heap.
Crack! The report of the second shot echoed across the mountains just like the first one had done and shattered her hope, her dreams.
For a moment, Flayme stood there frozen, her body and mind numb. Noo! It happened so quickly, his smile fading into shock. His body half spinning, blood spraying through the air like tiny particles of red dust dancing in sunlight—only there wasn’t any sunshine left in her life. Of a sudden, her world had turned gray and bleak and empty.
“Noo,” she screamed. “No-no-no!” Flayme ran to the door, but she couldn’t see the damn numbers on the keypad through her tears. It took three tries before she keyed the alarm correctly. All the while, her heart raced. She thought if he was dead, there’d never be warmth in her life again, that everything would remain frozen and lifeless. Flinging open the door, she raced to Duel. Dropping to her knees beside him, she slid an arm beneath his head, lifting his face to her. “Duel! God, oh God. Don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead.” Her voiced quivered with terror. Her body trembled. He was so still. Cherry red blotches stained the virgin snow around him, somehow obscene and so offensive she wanted to scream. “Open your eyes, Duel, talk to me.”
To her amazement, his eyelids flickered open, but she wasn’t sure he was actually aware of her beside him. His face looked pale, his lips colorless.
“Go,” he whispered on a strangled note. “Get…inside.”
She laughed. She cried. Tears choked the back of her throat. “I’m not leaving you.”
“Go!” he ordered. “Now!” He tried to sit up but fell back. “Sonofabitch shot me. Go, baby.”
“No! I can’t leave you here. I can’t. I won’t! Please. Let me help you up.”
“I can’t,” he muttered. “Can’t…move.”
“You can’t move? Why? Why can’t you move?”
Playing For Keeps (Montana Men) Page 39
