I knew Dillon grabbing my hand had been a bad thing, but I never would have guessed that it would have bothered Gage enough to go all caveman on me.
And now our secret was out.
Our secret was out, and my best friend was hurt and angry, and I didn’t blame her. I would have been, too.
“That’s bullshit,” she spat. “You are beautiful, Mys. Any guy would be lucky to date you.”
“And I am,” Gage growled next to me. I closed my eyes in defeat as he kept talking. “We’re sorry we kept this from you, but we don’t have to explain our reasons to anyone, and that includes you two.”
“That’s fucked up, G,” Chance snapped as he went to stand next to Margot in a united front.
I felt Gage place his hand on the small of my back and my breath hitched with how he was finally touching me in public after all these years. It felt...strange. I opened my eyes as he addressed Chance. “Oh, yeah. Just like you told me how much you liked Margot before this week? Like that?”
“Come on, dude,” Chance grimaced. “It’s not the same thing and you know it.”
“You guys have been together for four years and never said anything,” Margot jumped in. “That’s fucked-up, whether you guys want to admit it or not.”
“Mar-”
Margot was upset, and the booze probably wasn’t helping. “I thought we were best friends, Mystic. I...don’t know what to think now.”
“I’m sorry,” I replied, and I was. I really was. But...that was all I could give her. I couldn’t tell her the real reason I kept Gage a secret from her, but I was afraid she was going to find out eventually, anyway.
There was no way Gage and I could be around each other and not...cave.
“So am I,” Margot whispered right before she turned her back on me and walked out of the room. I stood there heartbroken as I watched Chance run after her.
Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe.
All these years of hiding who we are when we were together was being threatened because Gage couldn’t rein in his emotions. I turned to look up at him. “Why?”
His face was pure male fury when he replied, “Because he was touching you like he had the right to, Mystic.” He stepped forward until his chest touched mine. I had to tilt my head all the way back to hold his gaze. “Nobody gets to touch you but me. Nobody.”
“Gage...what you did…” I couldn’t even finish. I felt...exposed. Even though no one knew the true nature of mine and Gage’s relationship, I still felt exposed. Exposed and vulnerable.
I started trembling when his eyes started burning like blue flames.
I knew that look.
Gage was about to lose it.
We were in public and Gage was about to go to that dark place in his mind where his conscience didn’t exist. Now that our relationship was public, nothing was stopping him from owning me whenever he wanted to versus only acting on his desires when he needed to.
It was a dangerous thing for us to have this kind of freedom. Gage could barely control himself as it was. With this newfound...access to my body, I wasn’t sure if there’d be any chance of reining him in.¶
“Gage…”
His blue eyes danced down my body and back up before he took another step towards me and snarled, “You ever wear a skirt when I’m not around again and you’ll regret it, Mystic. I’ll make sure you never think of wearing one ever again for the rest of your life.”
I wanted to cry.
This was why I was sick.
This was why I knew I was broken.
His words were making me want to run out and buy a boatload of skirts just to force him to make good on his threat. It made me feel dirty and...just absolutely wretched.
Shame.
Shame was what should have accompanied every desire, every encounter, and every orgasm.
I didn’t want to feel like this way. I didn’t want to feel this dark need.
I wanted to be normal.
I wanted to feel normal.
Instead, I was at the mercy of a boy who was every bit as dark as I was. I was addicted to knowing that someone could see just how broken I was and wanted me because of it. Gage wasn’t repulsed by the things I craved. He didn’t judge me, and he made those disgusting desires I had feel...manageable. He made me feel goddamn beautiful, and it weakened everything inside of me that should seek help for my issues.
Graduation was going to be both my salvation and my undoing.
“Gage, we have to find Margot and Cha-”
“I don’t give a fuck about Margot and Chance right now,” he snapped. “I want to know why the fuck you’re dressed like you’re trolling for dick? Is that why Dillon thought it was okay to treat you like you were available?”
I glared up at him. “That’s not fair,” I snapped back. “I was just trying to look nice for Margot’s party. For once.”
Heedless of the curious people who were still milling about, Gage wasn’t toning down his irritation with me. He grabbed my upper arm and yanked me forward until my chest was pressed up against body. “Do you need me to fuck you, right here in front of everyone, so you finally believe me when I say you’re beautiful?”
I reared back. I didn’t really think he’d fuck me in front of a crowd of people, but it was his words that were throwing me for a loop. “You’ve never told me I was beautiful,” I pointed out.
His head jerked up and his eyes began to search the room. As soon as his eyes landed on the guest bathroom, he grabbed my hand and dragged me behind him, until we were inside in the bathroom. It had been empty, and Gage immediately locked the door behind us.
He stalked me until my back was pressed up against the counter, and then he leaned in and planted his hands on the counter, caging me in. The boy looked pissed as he said, “I always tell you you’re beautiful.”
I shook my head. “No, you don’t,” I countered. “The only time you tell me I’m beautiful is when I’m covered in your cum, blood, or bruises.”
His right hand shot out and snaked up the back of my neck, grabbing a handful of my hair, making sure it was a painful hold. I grimaced and he smiled a smile laced with evil. “Because that’s when you’re at your most beautiful, Mystic,” he replied. “I can’t stop staring at you after you’ve let me use you up. You’re fucking stunning when you’re broken.”
Chapter 10
Gage~
It was the truth.
I’ve always believed Mystic to be a beautiful girl, but she was heart-stoppingly breathtaking when she laid there, spent, after letting me defile her luscious body and confused mind. She was at her most beautiful when she was at her most vulnerable. And she was at her most vulnerable when her mind swam out of her lust-filled haze and she absorbed whatever it was I’d done to her.
I knew she wrestled with the shame of how she let me use her, but I couldn’t fix that for her. Unlike her, I knew my desires were sick, but in finding someone I could share them with, that went a long way in allowing me to live with myself. I wasn’t going to have to pretend to be something I wasn’t for the rest of my life. I was going to be able to embrace it all and have it all.
I leaned into her space and whispered against her ear, “You love being covered in my cum, blood, and bruises, Mystic.” I placed a soft kiss on her earlobe. “If you wanted sweet words or odes to your beauty, you wouldn’t be with me.”
“Gage…” Her chest was heaving with anticipation and her voice was cracked with desire. “Gage, we can’t do this. It’s...not safe.”
I knew what she meant. Being limited to how often I could have Mystic, it had helped with her healing. I could fuck her up, but she had weeks to heal from the trauma I inflicted on her body. She could chalk up my carelessness to tripping down the stairs or bumping into a door. But now that I had outed us, and there was nothing preventing me from having her whenever I wanted...well, sooner or later, someone would notice how this beautiful girl looked battered and beaten all the time. They would think that she was in an abusive r
elationship, but it would be so far from the actual truth of the matter.
I had the scars on my body to prove it.
Most of the time when I fucked Mystic, the brutality was all me and I didn’t stop until she had nothing left to give. But, sometimes...sometimes Mystic’s demons reached a level of desperation that rivaled my own and she would battle me for dominance.
She never won, but the scars on my body were proof that she held nothing back during those darkest of times for her. My injuries were usually attributed to football, but there’d be no bullshitting away Mystic’s battle scars.
And there was no fucking way I’d ever let anyone take her from me.
I tightened my hold on her hair and pulled her head back. Her neck was bared for me, and I could see her pulse thumping in her vein. The sickness inside of me wanted to bite down on that exact spot and bust her skin wide open to watch her bleed. I had all this violence coiled up in my body and sometimes it was too strong to contain, and only Mystic could ease the need to hurt...to inflict pain on whoever was unlucky enough to cross my path.
But it wasn’t just sex with Mystic.
It was survival, and she was fucked in more ways than she could possibly imagine.
With my left hand tangled in her hair, I reached underneath her skirt with my right hand, and the second my fingers touched her skin, she moaned. I was going to have to do my best to limit the damage, but there was no way we were exiting this bathroom without me fucking her. We were going to walk out of this room and everyone at this party would know that she’d just been freshly fucked. And I didn’t give a fuck if that made me an asshole. Even if I didn’t want Mystic the way I did, I needed to make it clear to everyone that she belonged to me.
I stared down at this beautiful girl in my arms and the compulsion to hurt her was like a craving for the strongest drug around. I couldn’t get enough of her. I couldn’t kiss her long enough. I couldn’t hold her tight enough. I couldn’t fuck her hard enough. I couldn’t love her strong enough. I wanted her to feel everything I was feeling, but I couldn’t. And that’s what made me want to hurt her.
I couldn’t make her feel my love. I couldn’t make her feel my cravings. I could make her feel pain, though. That, I could do.
I slid my fingers into her tight warmth and her entire body slumped with pleasure. “This pussy is mine, Mystic,” I whispered against her lips as I tightened my hold on her hair. “Every part, every piece of you belongs to me. You belong to me to do whatever the fuck I want to.” Mystic spread her legs wider and that small movement made me positively desperate.
I pulled my fingers from her body, grabbed her hips, and sat her on the edge of the counter. Her face was full of future regret and mortification. I was going to fuck her in this bathroom, at her best friend’s birthday party, and everyone was going to know it. Worse, she was going to let me, knowing what the outcome could result in. She knew there was a good chance she’d be walking out of here a shattered mess, but she wasn’t going to stop me.
I reached for her panties and she used the flat of her hands to lift her ass up off the counter high enough for me to pull the underwear down. Normally, I’d rip the fuckers off, but I’d be goddamned if she was going to walk around this party without underwear where other guys could smell her. Sure, she would smell like me, but that didn’t matter. All anyone needed to know was that Mystic belonged to me. They didn’t need to know the details.
I tossed her panties on the counter next to her and went to work on my jeans. As soon as they were pushed down, along with my boxers, I grabbed the back of Mystic’s thighs, raised them up and out, and slammed my cock home.
Jesus fucking Christ.
My hands came up as Mystic wrapped her legs around my back and I gripped her hair on either side of her face so hard, she winced. I could see a quiet tear leak down her face, and it just tuned me on more. I always felt too much when I was with Mystic and those feelings, the ones that couldn’t be contained, made it hard for me not to pull her hair clean from her scalp. It was those feelings that had me slamming into her without a care for how uncomfortable this must all be for her.
Being inside Mystic Anderson drove me crazy. No. That’s not true. I was already crazy. Being inside Mystic drove me to absolute insanity.
“I’ll kill him if he ever comes near you again, Mystic,” I panted, and it wasn’t an empty threat. Mystic was vital to me in a way she’ll never comprehend.
“Gage…” she cried out.
My thrusts were painful, and she shouldn’t be enjoying this, but I knew she was. Mystic was just as twisted as I was, and our coupling was a dance of madness. I reached down to grab her hip with my left hand as I held her head firm with my right hand. Both hands dug in painfully as I demanded things from her she wasn’t obligated to give me. “You’re mine, Mystic,” I grunted. “Say it.”
Tears were streaming down her face, and I knew she was hurting, but I also knew she was getting ready to cum. I knew Mystic in ways no one else ever would. “Gage-”
“Fucking say it!”
“Yours,” she sobbed. “I’m yours.”
“I better not ever see another guy around you again, Mystic. I swear to God I’ll fucking kill him.”
Mystic’s hands shot up and twisted in my shirt as she came all over my dick. “Gage!”
I lasted long enough to see her through her twisted orgasm before I emptied myself inside her precious body. I untangled my hand from her hair and held both her hips in my hands as I stayed planted firmly inside her. I watch silently as shame shadowed her face and I fell in love with her all over again. I’ve never said the words, but she had to know what I felt for her.
“Gage, I-”
“We’re going to walk out of here together, Mystic,” I said, interrupting her. “We’re walking out of here together and there’ll be no more hiding. For either of us.”
Chapter 11
Mystic~
This was it.
I was no longer sitting on the counter and Gage was pulling my panties back up, securing them back in place. He was making us presentable, but everyone was going to know what we were doing in here. Or, at least, they’ll think they know.
But no one knows.
I didn’t even know what it was that we were doing. I knew it was wrong. I knew it was sick. I knew it was unhealthy both mentally and physically. But I still didn’t know what it was.
“Come on,” Gage said as he reached for my hand. “Let’s go find Margot, so you guys can work your shit out.”
I felt him tug on my hand, but my feet were rooted where I stood. Logically, I knew everyone would think we just had sex, but the publicity of it shook me to the bone. People were going to know I was sleeping with Gage Evans and I wasn’t ready for that. The plan was to keep this thing a secret between us and let it die a quiet death once we graduated and he went off to college. Well, at least, that had been my plan. But now...now I had to face what we were doing. I couldn’t compartmentalize it into a dirty little secret that no one knew about. I used to have weeks in between our sex-fueled insanity to recover from his abuse and my regret, but I didn’t have that anymore.
The cover of secrecy was gone, and without that protection, people were going to see just how sick and twisted we were when the time came where we couldn’t control this...depravity between us. It was bound to happen.
“I can’t go out there,” I whispered.
Gage stopped and looked down at me. “What?”
I stared into his beautiful, sadistic blue gaze. “I can’t go out there, Gage.” The panic was real. “They’re going to know. Everyone is going to know.”
He let go of my hand and crossed his arms over his muscular, defined chest. “That you belong to me? That I just fucked the shit out of you?” He gave me a tight nod. “Yeah, they’re going to know. And they need to know. Everyone needs to fucking know it.”
I could feel my lips tremble and my body grow cold with anxiousness. “People can’t know, Gage,” I implor
ed. “It’ll…” I started to shake my head in denial because, let’s face it, everyone already knew. “We can’t do this…”
One second Gage was peering down at me, trying to read my panic for what it was, the next he had me slammed up against the bathroom door and he looked livid.
He looked insane.
“Don’t you ever speak those words to me again, Mystic,” he snarled down at me.
What?
“Gage, you don’t-”
He gave me a small shake against the door. “Don’t ever tell me we can’t do this,” he clarified. “You don’t get to end this, Mystic. You’ll never get a say in whether this thing between us ends or not.”
My eyes widened. “Gage, if it gets out what we’re...doing, my parents will ship me off-”
The glowering in his eyes showed the levels of madness he was reaching and surpassing with each second. “No one will ever keep you from me, Mystic,” he seethed. “Including your parents.”
He was talking nonsense. He was talking in terms of forever and I knew we weren’t a forever kind of situation. We were...a sick addiction that we needed to overcome to be able to function later in life, somehow. I wasn’t looking forward to a regular relationship with a regular guy and regular sex, but this thing with Gage was never supposed to last forever, even though I wanted it to.
The tears started falling. “We’re going to be expected to behave normally, Gage. What happens the first time we can’t?”
I knew it was hopeless when he replied, “God, I love your tears, baby.” It was said so softly and lovingly, it just confirmed my fears.
“Gage-”
He leaned down and kissed me hard. When he pulled back, he looked at me and said, “You’re mine, Mystic. Every broken, confused, messed-up part of you belongs to me. I don’t care about anything else.”
I couldn’t help the surge of anger that pushed my tears back. “That’s because you’re the man,” I snapped. “You’re not going to be looked at like a victim. No one is going to intrude and insist you get help. I’m the one who’s going to be pitied. I’m the one who’s going to have to explain...explain…”
Our Broken Pieces (The Pieces Series Book 1) Page 5
