“Does it matter?” I asked coyly.
“I guess it doesn’t, but I just thought I’d ask.”
I nodded my head and said, “To the moon. I’m taking you to the moon.”
Khalil had drifted off by the time we reached Front Royal, Virginia. I kept the volume down as I listened to my favorite CD, The Emancipation of Mimi, letting Mariah talk to me since Khalil had run out of fuel. I didn’t blame him, knowing how a cross-country flight could wipe you out. He looked like an angel as he slept and every few moments I found myself looking over at him, thinking to myself, This is how my life ends and my fairy tale begins. He’d found me and I’d chosen him.
When I pulled off the interstate I punched in the navigation system the address to the cabin I’d rented. We drove for thirty more minutes into the Shenandoah Mountains as the winding roads took me up and down. I couldn’t wait until the morning to see the view that we’d have. Finally after it seemed we’d driven skyward at a thirty-degree angle for an eternity, I saw the street that led to our cabin. I cruised down the long driveway and pulled up in front of the house.
It was just as I remembered it. I’d been here before but not with someone I wanted to. I remembered sitting on the deck imagining what it would be like to be able to share this with someone I loved and thinking that I’d never know. I parked at the front door and went to the digital lockbox, pressing the code to get the keys. The company that I’d rented the place from was top-notch. I’d been able to tell them everything from what type of thread count I wanted on the sheets to what brand of bacon I wanted stocked in the fridge. Ready to head in I leaned over and nudged Khalil. He was sleeping soundly. I nudged him again, this time grabbing his shoulder and saying, “Khalil, wake up.”
Like a wild animal getting the jump on me, he came out of his sleep and swung as if he was fighting for his life. The pain of him striking my arm had me fearing my forearm was broken. The second I saw the fear in his eyes as he realized what he’d done, I knew that sometime, somewhere, something bad had happened to him.
18
KHALIL
My body was all out of whack from the time change, plus the fresh air seemingly had me in coma-like sleep. Still, I woke to the strong smell of bacon and fried potatoes coming from the kitchen below. It was ten thirty when I sat up in the bed to stretch and yawn. I realized that Honey hadn’t slept next to me and I wondered if she was upset about my swinging at her arm. I had wanted to tell her that I was having a nightmare, though I knew it might seem weird that anyone would have nightmares while sleeping in an automobile.
The ceiling fan was whirling above me and I collapsed back down as I contemplated making my way toward the bathroom. “You’re up,” she said, poking her head up the steps. “I made you breakfast.”
Inhaling deeply, I commented, “Smells really good.”
“I’ll bring your plate up here.”
“No, I’ll come down. I have to use the bathroom anyway. I need to grab my bag from the trunk though to get my toothbrush.”
“I already have that taken care of. Everything you need is downstairs in the bathroom.”
I nodded. The bed I was on was in the loft and as comfortable as it slept, I wondered why she hadn’t shared it with me. I got up and made my way down the steps in nothing but a pair of black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. I looked across the cabin at Honey. She was in a silk robe that covered her cotton tank top. From the way her ass was jiggling so freely I didn’t think she had on any bottoms. The cabin was laid out. A combination of wood floors that matched the walls and a stone floor in the kitchen, where there were Viking appliances. There was a huge Navajo rug covering the floor between the couch and the plasma television.
I walked into the bathroom, which was the size of a small bedroom. The floors and the shower walls were done in a decorative ceramic tile. There was a black towel on the counter with every possible toiletry that I could imagine. Also she had lined up an electric toothbrush, a Cellmen travel set, and a bottle of Clive Christian cologne. I didn’t mean to let it slip but I think I mouthed the words This bitch must be rich. I meant no disrespect but I couldn’t believe that she was going out like she did. I’d shopped in Saks for years, but I’d never thought about purchasing four-hundred-dollar facial scrubs or five-hundred-dollar bottles of cologne.
As I emptied my bladder I started to wonder if she’d robbed a bank. I stepped out after washing my hands and she was headed toward me with a plate. “Let’s go out on the deck.”
“Cool.”
We sat down and as she placed my food in front of me I noticed the view. We were well up in the mountains. I couldn’t believe that I’d slept through the ride on the way here. We held hands as I blessed the food and she waited for me to take a forkful before she ate.
All smiles, she couldn’t wait to ask, “How is it?” I was sure she knew.
“Mmmmmmm, damn girl. Delicious.”
“Like Momma used to make?”
“Not quite…not my momma.”
“Excuse me,” she said, rolling her eyes playfully.
“No, no. I’m saying that my moms never cooked for me. At least not that I can remember.”
“Oh I’m sorry. Did you lose her at an early age?”
“I guess you could say that. She wasn’t around and I don’t really know the story behind it. I assume it was drugs, but I’m not sure. She was gone for as long as I can remember.”
“Khalil, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s cool. I’m a grown man now. And being a grown man, I can appreciate this meal that you made.” I took another forkful. “These are delicious.” We were both quiet as we chewed and stared off the deck down the mountain. “You know what’s crazy?” I asked.
“What’s that?”
“Yesterday at the airport, after I spoke with you I saw someone from my past.”
“Someone you used to date?”
“No. Not at all. The woman I saw was like a mother to me early in my life. She was my father’s girlfriend for a long while.”
“You hadn’t spoken to her in a while?”
“More than thirteen years.”
“Wow. She lives in California now?”
“No, Philadelphia.”
“I bet it was nice to see her after all this time.”
I thought back to that day when Frannie took me back to the group home. The day she promised to help me before disappearing forever. Then I said, “Yeah, I guess in a way it was nice to see her.”
“Did you exchange numbers?”
“Yeah. She wants to come to town and visit and catch up.”
“That’ll be nice.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
The conversation switched gears and still it came easy for us as we sat on the deck and finished our food. “C’mon, we’ll clean up later.” She led me by the hand to a huge hammock on the other side of the deck, which wrapped around half of the house. “Get in slowly and lie still until I get completely in, or we’ll both wind up on the ground,” she warned me.
I followed orders and she climbed in on top of me. She put her head on my chest and closed her eyes. “Can I ask you something?” I whispered.
“You can ask me anything, but there might be some things that I’m not ready to tell you. Is that going to be okay?”
I thought about that for just a second. “As long as it goes both ways.”
“Deal,” she said. “Now go ahead and shoot.”
“First…”
“Hold on. Hold on. You said a question; you’re trying to turn this into twenty questions.”
“Maybe so. Twenty questions. That sounds good. You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be. Are you?”
“It’s my game.”
“We’ll see.”
“First,” I said. “Why didn’t you sleep in the bed with me last night?”
“No real reason. You were tired and I wanted you to get a good night’s rest. Plus I was down here with some ice on my arm,” she said in a ligh
thearted tone, letting me know she wasn’t angry.
“I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. I must have scared you pretty bad.”
“Yeah, I hadn’t been sleeping well the whole week and for some reason I slept in the car like a baby.”
She nodded. “Understandable. Now my turn,” she replied. “Why are you here with me? Is it because you wanna fuck me or something else?”
I took a deep breath. “First, I’ll admit. I am definitely sexually attracted to you but there is more to it than that. I’ve never had such a strong desire for someone so fast. All my life I’ve kept walls up, not wanting to love anyone, mostly because I never really believed that they would be there for me. When I met you and we talked it was crazy. I was almost sad when the plane landed. I knew then that I needed to know you and I haven’t stopped needing you since.”
“Why?” she said softly.
“That’s not fair. It’s my turn to ask a question.”
“Why?” she repeated.
“Honey, I didn’t grow up with a lot. In fact, I grew up with very little. I actually spent five years in foster care. I learned that we don’t get everything that we want, but sometimes we do.
“At seventeen, what makes a kid who hasn’t had any examples of success qualified to make a decision that will affect the rest of his life? I remember one day I was down in the Village and saw some NYU students shooting a film for their coursework and I stopped to watch. They were all so into it. They looked fulfilled. I sat around until they finished then I asked a few questions and one of them gave me a magazine that had information on film schools.
“I didn’t see a school that I wanted to go to, but I did decide I wanted to find out where black people went to learn the same thing. When I heard about Howard’s film school, I knew that I wanted to go there.”
I could tell that although she was listening intently, she didn’t really understand the point I was trying to make. I decided to simplify. “The point is, when I came across Howard, I knew that was where I wanted to go. I just knew. I had no references or experiences to go by. I just knew. That’s the same way I feel about you. I just feel connected to you and I know that we’re supposed to be together. I don’t know for how long, but I know that I’m supposed to be here. With you.”
She was silent for a few seconds and then she lifted her head up and I felt her lips on my face. “Are you sure?”
My lips found their way to hers. They met and with a slight shift of weight she was on top of me kissing me. The hammock began to rock slightly as the flames of passion began to ignite between us. My hands began to caress her back and her ass. Instantly I was rock-hard and wanted nothing more than to be inside of her.
It was as if she read my mind. Without foreplay she reached down for my manhood and found it ready. Just as I had suspected she wasn’t wearing any panties and when she climbed on top of me I reached for her and found that she was moist. She leaned in for a deeper kiss, sticking her tongue in my mouth. With the other hand, she pulled my underwear to the side. I felt her sliding down on me as she guided me inside of her.
As I entered her I felt as though I was sliding into heaven. She was like no other woman. Up to this moment I had wondered if my mind had been playing tricks on me the entire time. Perhaps her sex had caught me off guard and really wasn’t that good. Maybe I had just gotten used to sex with Rorrie and the second I felt someone different I made more out of it than I should have. All those theories flew away as she moved up and down on me. My eyes were closed as she sent me drifting away.
I heard the words but I didn’t know where they’d come from, my mouth or hers. “I love you.”
Maybe I was imagining that I’d said it or that she had. What we were doing was beautiful. Grinding our bodies together, getting it in. She brought her upper body down on me and began to grind as she wiggled her pelvis up and down in order to stroke me faster. I wanted to make it last but I lost control.
“I’m going to come, Honey,” I whispered. “I’m…gonna…”
She didn’t stop. She kept on riding me, giving me pleasure until my body began to buck. I tried to hold on but then she suddenly sat up and yelled out, “Ohmigod, Khalil.” She trembled and shook as jolts of pleasure took her over as we came together.
I felt no remorse or nervousness as I emptied my seed into her. The thought immediately entered my mind: What if I get her pregnant?
The answer came to me behind the question as I smiled welcoming the possibility. In all actuality I had little reason to believe that I would, after sleeping with Rorrie, unprotected most of the time, for two years without even a scare.
We spent the rest of the afternoon making love and watching movies. There was a Jacuzzi out on the deck that we spent what seemed like two hours in, drinking wine and eating fresh fruit. Once the sun began to slide behind the mountains off in the distance we decided to take a walk.
We trekked forty minutes up the hill toward the top of the mountain to a clearing that looked like a camping spot. “Wouldn’t this be romantic to sleep right here and watch the stars?” I asked.
“Would you do that?” she shot back.
“If I had a shotgun and a tent.” I laughed. “Make that an Uzi and a tent made out of bricks.”
She laughed. “Yeah, you know black folks don’t do crazy shit like that.”
We sat there and talked for a while but decided to get a move on before it got dark. We held hands the entire walk back to the cabin. “Khalil,” she said. “What do you think is going to happen when we get back?”
“You mean as far as you and I?”
“As far as everything. What if she wants you back? I mean assuming you want me and you’re not confused.”
“I’m not confused.”
“So what happens if she doesn’t want to let go?”
“She will, if she hasn’t already.”
“So if she does let go, what are we doing? I mean do you think we’re moving too fast?”
“I think we’re moving fast. I do, but at the same time the speed feels just right.”
I looked over and saw her smile. Then she looked at me and asked, “What if I was pregnant?”
I was quiet. “You told Rorrie that you were pregnant didn’t you?”
She stared me right in the eye and said, “Absolutely…” She paused then burst into laughter. “The bitch shouldn’t have gotten smart.”
A part of me was angry but then at the same time, I chuckled slightly on the inside. “That wasn’t right.” I had a flashback. “You know it’s your fault that I wound up in the hospital.”
She reached up and rubbed my head. “I’m soooo sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?” she asked seductively.
We stopped and started to kiss right there on the path. Our hands began to roam all over each other. When she pulled away I said, “Don’t start what you can’t finish, Ma.”
“Bring it on. Last one to the cabin is a rotten egg,” she shouted as she took off. I ran after her but surprisingly, she was fast as hell.
When we made it back to the house she ushered me into the shower. I felt like a million dollars after I climbed out. She laid me on the bed, where she began to lotion my body from head to toe.
After we ate dinner we found ourselves in bed, snuggled up, spooning as we relaxed in complete silence. “I have a lot to do when I get back,” she said. “I’m homeless right now.” She laughed.
I laughed back. “You’re kidding right? I mean you are driving around in a condo.”
“No, I’m not kidding. I’m between places. I sold my place and I wasn’t sure where I wanted to buy, or if I even want to stay in D.C.”
I began to panic. “Where else would you go?”
“Khalil, it’s a great big world out there. Who knows.”
“So if you move away, how soon?”
“I didn’t say I was leaving. Calm down.”
But she didn’t say she wasn’t. The fear came back. The fear of losing
that which I cared for. Once that came, the words came right out of my mouth without a second thought. “You can stay with me. You can move in with me. I want you to.”
I had no idea how I’d work this out but when she leaned in and kissed me with three soft pecks and said, “I want to,” I knew I had to figure it out.
19
HONEY
The hotel room looked like a dressing room. Shoe boxes stacked high, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana, Jimmy Choo. Purses, dresses, jeans, lingerie, and new suits lining the closet. I had passed most of my newfound free time burning up the malls like Mazza Gallery in Upper Northwest. I’d even made quick one-day trips down to Atlanta’s Phipps Plaza and to Chicago’s Michigan Avenue to grab a few things.
Khalil had asked for a couple of days to get Rorrie’s things out of the house before he moved me in. I’d been impressed when he’d come home and begun packing her stuff the night we arrived from our trip to the mountains. I had to admit that it was going to be awkward for me. I also knew that it would have to be somewhat wrenching for him, with one woman here this week, a new one the next.
But I didn’t feel bad. There was a lesson in it for her. Love is like a boxing match. The referee says at the beginning of the fight: “Protect yourself at all times.” The logic is simple. Both people are throwing punches. Even if you think your opponent is beaten, you have to keep your guard up. Here Rorrie had let her guard down to the point that she was defenseless. Somewhere along the line she’d stopped paying attention to her man. Maybe it was because she was so busy studying to become a doctor. Now she’d lost him. One thing was certain. Rorrie would be crushed once she finally found out that she’d lost him to me.
I did feel a little bad having Khalil believe that I intended to live in his house. I was planning to put a contract on a new home within the month but it was necessary that he throw Rorrie out. I had to know that he’d do that and he did. In fact, he surprised me with his icy demeanor. I overheard him telling her mother that he was going to leave her things on the back porch of their home while she was at work. Rorrie, it turned out, had gone back to Richmond once she’d left him in L.A. She had thrown herself back into her work while she tried to make sense of the situation.
A Taste of Honey Page 13
