by C. J. Wells
I’ve learned to both expect and draw from the unavoidable sexually explosive cocktail that this man creates within me with his every emotion. It fuels me. Gives me strength to fight. Fight for him. “I haven’t lied to you, Alex.”
“No?” he cocks his head in mocking indignation. “You lied to me about Ben.”
“Omitted, not lied, remember?”
Dropping his folded arms to his sides, he strides towards me with gaited self-assurance, stopping directly before me.
I gasp at the sudden proximity.
“I’m pretty sure we’ve already ascertained they are mutually exclusive.” His jaw clenches as he stares down into my eyes. “But most importantly, Aby, you lied to me when you said you wouldn’t leave. You lied right to my face, even when I begged you to stay. Why? Why did you leave? Just tell me the truth!” he grabs my arms to force my gaze.
The hurt I can finally see in his eyes is my undoing. My tears well, threatening to fall as I take in the anguish written all over his face. “I was scared,” I begin, visibly trembling. “I never meant to hurt you. I realize, now, that I allowed myself to hurt you in the worst way. Exactly as you had feared…”
Releasing me, his arms drop to his sides once more, his eyes closing on a defeated breath. “Life with me…” he laughs half-heartedly, turning away, running his fingers through his hair.
“It can be…difficult,” I finish for him, repeating his own warning. I summon the courage to hold his gaze when he turns to face me, knowing what I’m about to say will only hurt him more. “The paparazzi, endless invasion of privacy…the price of fame,” I walk towards him, praying for strength as I witness his face twist in pain. “Yes, Alex, it scared me, more than I wanted to admit. Even to myself.”
He looks away as I reach him.
“All of that scared me, just as you feared. But you didn’t let me finish,” I cup his face in my trembling hands to force his gaze. “Something else scares me even more.” I close my eyes, my hands falling from his face to slide down his chest. The feel of him beneath my palms is incredible. I need to feel him. To know he’s really here. “I’m so afraid that if I let myself believe, for just one moment, that everything I’ve dreamt of is right here in front of me,” I look up into his eyes, “…I’ll realize that it isn’t real. That you’re not real.”
“I am real, Aby,” he takes my hands in his at his chest, squeezing them. “This is real.”
“I want so much to believe that,” I smile through the tears streaming down my face. “You are everything I’ve ever dreamed of…my ultimate fantasy come true. But fantasies don’t exist in reality, do they?” the doubt surfaces on a whisper. “And even if they possibly could,” I look down in shame, “…can I live in yours?”
“Fuck, Aby. What are you saying?” He tries to search my averted gaze before releasing my hands and taking a step back. “Did you come here to tell me that you’re just giving up?”
“No,” I shake my head, trying to express every ounce of remorse in my tear-filled eyes. “I’m saying I’m scared…for more reasons than you feared. And I came in hopes to make you understand those reasons.” I bravely take a step towards him. “I’m asking you to forgive me for almost giving up on us. I’ve fallen madly in love with you, Alex. And as much as that scares me, losing you frightens me more,” I pause, swallowing, trying to remain audible against my sobs. “I choose us. I think I’m making a healthy choice,” I attempt to smile. “I can’t seem to breathe without you.”
The look in his eyes steals my breath anyway. Taking a step to close the small distance between us, he cups my face in his hands, taking me in a ravishing kiss that swallows my gasp for air. The feel of his lips crushing mine is overwhelming, a feeling I thought I’d never have again. And I’m unable to contain the sudden squeaky cry-moan that escapes me.
“Shhh,” he whispers between nips and kisses. “Jesus, I thought I’d lost you. I can’t lose you, Aby. I can’t,” he mumbles inaudibly through his kisses.
Wrapping my arms firmly around his waist, I try my best to reassure him, to ease his hurt. I realize now that his steely demeanor from a moment ago was simply his hardened shell - a defensive mechanism against his pain, his fear, and his own hurt. A reaction I’m all too familiar with. “You won’t lose me, Alex. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m so sorry. I’m so very sorry.”
“God, baby…”
“Make love to me, Alex. Please…” I beg, the words so easily falling off my lips. I need to feel his touch. I need to feel his skin on mine, to wrap my arms tightly around him, to feel him consume me. I need to feel that he’s real.
Groaning into our kiss, he scoops me up in his arms, carrying me to the bedroom, setting me down on my feet beside the bed. He takes my face in his hands, his beautiful blue eyes penetrating deep into my soul.
I moan into the return of his feverish kiss, my core pulsing from the onslaught, my hands taking him in thankful ownership, working their way around his waist, up the sculpted form of his back and shoulders.
His fingers slide into the hair at my nape and pull tight, cocking my head back roughly to force my gaze. “Fuck, I’ve missed you,” he pauses, his eyes searching mine. “Don’t. Ever. Fucking. Lie to me again. Do you understand?”
“Yes. I’m sorry. Please…”
His mouth crashes back to mine, desperate orders spewed into our kiss…“Don’t ever leave me again…You’re mine, Aby.” His large body overtakes me, forcing me onto the bed. The sight of him crawling over top of me sends my pulse racing in anticipation, soaking my panties. The feel of his weight is intoxicating as he lowers his lips passionately to mine. I relish in the strength of his body, running my hands along his form, needing to feel all of him, my fingers squeezing and clawing at every perfectly defined muscle.
Our kiss is hectic, intense. We consume each other, reaching to the deepest recesses of our mouths, the need to brand each other mutual, heated, our fingers working in a desperate need to touch. Our clothes come off in a whirlwind of hands, tugging and ripping each other’s shirts off, before moving to discard our pants. I gasp as he slowly, teasingly slides his hands along my core, tearing my underwear from my body, eliciting my slight scream.
My eyes dart back to his, and I whimper at the intense heat emanating from his gaze as he slides his muscled form over top of me, resuming his passionate kisses. Kisses that work their way down my trembling body, pausing at my nipple, my belly button, to tantalize with savoring licks of his devouring lips and tongue.
“Alex,” I moan against his intentions as he spreads my legs with a firm pull, my pussy clenching in anticipation of his sinful mouth, but desperate for his fill.
“You’re so perfect,” he whispers, kissing my thigh, teasing my sensitive bud with his tongue, capturing it between his lips.
My body bows to his delicious mercy, his two fingers sliding along my wet folds before pressing inside. Grabbing his hair, I moan with every thrilling thrust of his digits, pulling and urging the return of his lips to mine. What he’s doing to me feels out of this world, but I need him inside me.
He groans in response, pulling his fingers from my core to tease my engorged clit. Moving upward to settle between my widespread legs, the brush of his hardened erection along my folds elicits another. “I can’t hold back, baby. I need you. Now.”
“Then don’t,” I grab his face, resuming our frenzied kiss.
Reaching down to grasp his cock, he glides it slowly along my wetness, the juices coating its thick head, lining himself up to thrust deep. Our simultaneous moans echo through the tangle of our lips; he feels incredible inside me, filling me.
He slides his cock out with slow precision, its tip tantalizing my quivering sex. His gaze is filled with fire, and I’m mesmerized. “This, this is real,” his whispers gruffly, his words consuming me before thrusting deeply once more.
“Oh, God… Alex!”
The feel of his erection slipping through my folds, pushing deeper and deeper inside me,
feels completely brand new. The intensity is incredible, his hardness awakening every nerve inside me, my womb contracting in desperate need, clutching and gripping his cock. I buck uncontrollably, bowing in helpless abandon as his thickness plunges again. Seated fully, he stills, lifting his head to stare into my eyes, his blue gaze searching mine, leaving me speechless. Breathless. The pure emotion reflected in his stare has me sucking in air.
“I love you,” I whisper through my gasping breaths.
His eyes close as though he’s savoring the words. Brushing his fingers along my forehead, he pushes the strands of hair away. “Do you know what those words mean to me? Do to me?”
“I love you,” I repeat them, suddenly eliciting a powerful force within me, realizing how much my use of them - laced with such absolute, undeniable truth - affects him so profoundly.
“Jesus, baby…” he groans. “Don’t ever leave me again.”
I’m completely overcome with emotion, pulling his lips back to mine to resume our kiss, putting every ounce of my happiness, honesty, and faithfulness into it. I pray that I can show him exactly what mere words could never fully relay.
He pulls his cock marginally from my core, plunging back inside as I mewl into his kiss. My hips meet his thrusts measure for measure, needing him so deep inside me that I’ll never survive otherwise. Our coupling frenetic in our need for each other.
Pulling his lips from mine, he places suckling kisses along my jaw, my collarbone. His hand slides beneath my back, pulling me upwards to arch my body towards him, my head falling back in abandon, offering my breasts to his wanting mouth. With succulent brushes of his lips along my chest, he swipes his tongue along my nipple, sucking it between his perfect lips.
I release a crazed whimper at the sensation, my pussy throbbing around his hardness, my climax imminent.
“Mmmm…yes, baby. You’re so close. I want to feel you come around my cock. Fall for me.”
His words are my undoing. The sexy timber of his voice, combined with the steady tempo of his thrusts sends me plummeting over the precipice. Screaming his name in release, I slide my hands in his hair, gripping hard, riding the overwhelming waves of pleasure, convulsing uncontrollably.
His thrusts pound relentlessly as I ride the waves, in and out, deeper and deeper into my clutching depths, before he finally stills above me. The sensation as he spills his desire inside my pulsing core is as thrilling as the delicious groan he releases into my neck.
Harsh breaths amid the grasp of each other’s arms, we await the slowing of our rapid heartbeats in euphoric silence.
Sliding his still semi-erect cock out of me, he chuckles at my elicited whimper, turning to his side on the mattress, pulling me with him. “I’m not done with you yet, sweetheart,” he warns playfully, running his fingers gently along my sweat-slickened back.
“I hope you’ll never be,” I bite my lip through a small smile.
“Good,” he wraps me in his arms, lifting me up with ease, moving to stand. “Time for a shower,” he smirks, carrying me to the bathroom, holding me in one strong arm, leaning in to turn it on.
Steam slowly fills the room as he places me down inside, pulling me against him under the warmth of the cascading water. Lovingly brushing his hand along my jaw, my satiated body flutters to life with delicious shivers of returned desire. His own unwavering arousal is equally evident, sinfully tantalizing against my stomach in his tight hold.
Our insatiable need is intoxicating, but in this moment, I can sense his longing to move slowly this time. He’s savoring me. And I want nothing more than to just give in to his loving embrace.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“For?” he questions, running his fingers gently along my back.
“For your forgiveness,” I look deeply into his eyes. I could lose myself in the beauty of them. “I’m so grateful to you. You came for me. You believed in me…in us, even when I couldn’t. I truly never meant to hurt you,” I look down, feeling a build of shameful tears. “The way you left this morning…I thought I’d lost you.”
“No, never. Don’t ever think that,” he lifts my chin to meet his gaze. “I would have done whatever it took to make you see reason. To make you understand just how much I…” flinching, he stops, closing his eyes.
Oh God. He can’t say it. How can I blame him? I’ve hurt him so much, its bite so recent, still lingering despite his forgiveness. I have to understand that. I have to be strong for him to get past it. “You don’t have to say it, Alex.”
Opening his eyes to look at me, I avert my gaze, battling my insecurities against my strength just a moment ago. He tilts my head, pulling my gaze once more, his eyes saying more than any words could convey, without question. I don’t need to hear the words aloud, not until he is ready to give them freely. And I know that trust will play a large roll in when that time comes.
“It’s okay,” I reassure him, wrapping my arms around him to pull him closer, resting my head against his chest, the water raining over us. “I have to earn your trust. And I will. But…” I pause, searching for the right words, turning my head to kiss his slickened flesh. “I can’t promise that my fears will be gone when we wake in the morning,” I add cautiously, my lips lingering against him.
He bends into my hold, leaning down onto my shoulder, his breaths warm against my skin in his silence. I wish I could see his eyes, desperate to try to read what he’s thinking, but I give him the moment he seems to need.
“I just want to be honest with you,” my words slip out without thought. “There’s only one thing I’m sure of in this moment,” I pull away from him, needing him to see the truth in my eyes. I’m a little taken aback at the somber tone reflected in his. He’s scared too. If he wasn’t before I left, he is now. And, at my hand. I will gain his trust back, but until then I can only reassure him what I know is true, real…over and over…“I love you, Alex.”
His eyes close again at my words, and I lose my breath when he opens them to me, electric blue in color, oozing desire. Gently, he glides his lips along mine, taking me in a sensual kiss. I can feel his love for me in every slide of his tongue along mine, every sashay of his fingers along my body. It’s overwhelming and utterly enthralling. I feel at home here in his arms. I am home. Alex is my absolute dream come true. My perfect plan come to fruition. He’s everything that I’ve ever wanted and so very much more.
Releasing me slowly from our kiss, he whispers against my lips, “Honesty is incredibly sexy.”
“Is it?” I question playfully.
“Mmhmm,” he mumbles, kissing my neck.
“Well, allow me to elaborate my candor,” I manage through his onslaught, pulling every ounce of strength to cement my words. “I will fight those pesky fears to the bitter end. I’ll never run again. I promise you that,” I add, leaning my lips against his chest, waiting in hopes that he heard my truth.
He pulls back, the corners of his mouth curling up into one of his heart stopping smiles. “Well, Miss Ryan,” he brushes his fingers along my tummy, eliciting electric shivers, “…you realize that means you are stuck with me now.”
I can’t help but laugh at his boyish charm, now thankfully returned. God, how I’ve missed it. “Likewise, Mr. Tate.”
Placing a quick kiss to my forehead, he pulls me tighter, sighing contentedly into my neck. The feel of his smile against my flesh is indescribable. “Stay the night?”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“OKAY,” I POSITION myself between Alex and the front door of my parent’s home, looking up into his beautiful blue eyes with weary caution, “…once you step inside this door, you may never see me the same way again. Are you prepared for that?”
His lips curl into that sexy smirk that immediately scorches down my core. I have to bite my lip against the thought of just jumping in the car and taking him back to bed.
“Sweetheart, I’m prepared for anything and everything that is you,” he wraps his strong arms around my waist, his words
as charming as his smile. “And I’m more than willing to turn around and take you right back to the hotel to prove that a few more times, if you wish,” he adds, pulling at my bitten lip with his thumb.
“Don’t tempt me.” I can’t resist trailing my palm along his chest beneath the opening of his tweed jacket, my fingers begging me to reconsider his offer. “Let’s just get this over with,” I sigh, reluctantly turning in his hold to open the door. “So, remember, my dad’s not much of a talker, but he has a heart of gold, and Mom,” I pause, turning to look at him, “…well, let’s just say that at the end of the day, I think she means well.”
“Got it,” he nods, lips pursed before that crooked grin curls back into place.
God help me, I’m insatiable for him. And he knows it. “Are you going to tease me all day with that wicked, sexy smirk, Mr. Tate?”
“I won’t be teasing,” he whispers in my ear, his hand trailing down my back to caress my behind.
“No? What would you call it?” I challenge, playfully.
“An extended warning.”
Oh, gawd…
“Mom, I’m here,” I call out as we enter. Let the fun and games begin.
“Aby?” she calls from the kitchen. “Well, thank heavens you finally decided to grace us with your…” she stops abruptly, finally having us in view. “Oh,” she smiles, smoothing down her perfectly wrinkle-free clothing.
“Hi, Mom. I’d like you to meet Alexander Tate. Alex this is my mother, Dianne.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Ryan,” he shakes her hand gently, offering his incredible smile. “May I call you Dianne?”
“Oh, yes, of course,” she giggles, caught in that familiar ‘Alexander Tate’ awkward trance as she stares at the man I’ve fallen in love with. “Abigail, you should have warned me you were bringing a guest,” she fiddles with her perfectly styled hair. “I would have done something with myself.” I roll my eyes - it’s not like she can see me, she’s fixated on the Adonis of a man at my side. “It’s wonderful to meet you, Alexander,” she gushes.
